by Laura Iding
Frozen, Serena stared at the image the three of them made as a picture-perfect family. They disappeared inside Grant's house and she didn't move. She couldn't breathe, couldn't hear or feel a thing.
Grant hadn't missed Daniel. The knowledge slammed into her chest with the force of a blow. Not in the same way she had mourned the loss of her son. Grant had kept his career, and he'd also found his own ready-made family with Loren and Ben.
Serena's chest burned with the effort it took to breathe. Thousands of glass shards replaced the oxygen in her lungs. Watching Grant with Ben was worse than painful. Grant obviously had a relationship with Ben, one he'd never have with Daniel.
His own son.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Grant enjoyed goofing around with Ben, although his incisions ached abominably when the boy tried to tackle him. Finally Loren called a halt to the torture.
"Ben, run out to the car to get my purse," Loren directed.
"Aw, Mom. Do I hav'ta?"
"Yes. Please."
After rolling his eyes dramatically, the boy dashed outside. Loren let out a heavy sigh. "Sorry about that. Are you OK?"
He grimaced and rubbed a hand over his chest. "I'll survive."
"So, I stopped by to see you last night after my shift." Loren pushed the toe of her running shoe into the pile of his carpet, eyes downcast. "You weren't home."
Warning bells jangled in his head. Loren had stopped by? At midnight last night? Grant knew he'd been with Serena. Her scent was still imbedded in his senses. Guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders. Loren deserved to know the truth.
"No, I wasn't." Desperate, he searched for the right way to tell her the truth without hurting her feelings. "You know I'll always be here for you and Ben. But I have to be honest with you, Loren. I recently discovered I'm still in love with my ex-fiancée."
"I see." She kept her gaze on the floor, as if the pattern in his gray carpet was enthralling. "I wondered. Who is she?"
Man, he didn't like hurting her like this. "Loren, I'm sorry if I misled you in any way. You and Ben have been wonderful for me. You helped me see what is really important in life." His smile was crooked. "You're actually the perfect woman for me. But my heart won't listen to my head."
"You didn't answer my question, Grant. Who is she?"
"Serena Mitchell. She's a trauma critical care nurse at Trinity Medical Center."
A ghost of a smile flittered over her features. "A nurse, huh? Too bad, because it just so happens I think you're the perfect man for us, especially for Ben."
He noted how she included her son in the deal. Was it possible Loren's feelings were also dependent on his relationship with her son? If he hadn't been good father material for Ben, would she have walked away? The thought eased his swirling discomfort. "Hey, Ben is an awesome kid. Some day you'll fall in love with a guy who will also be a good father for Ben. Don't sell yourself short, Loren. You deserve to be happy."
"Yeah, but the dating scene isn't really my thing." She shrugged, then turned toward the door. "Well, I guess we should get going. Don't feel obligated to come to Ben's game. He probably shouldn't depend on you so much."
The thought of breaking his promise to Ben didn't sit well with Grant. Ben didn't deserve to be left out in the cold just because Grant didn't love his mother. Losing his father hadn't been Ben's fault. Which was exactly what Serena had been worried about. If Daniel had lived, and Grant had died in the trauma room that night, his son would be just like Ben, growing up without a father.
"I'll be there. You can count on it." Grant refused to let the kid down. Having a mom at Little League wasn't exactly the same as having a father figure watch you play.
"Well, just so you know, I won't hold you to it." Loren glanced away as Ben rushed back inside.
"I can't find your purse, Mom," he complained. "I looked under the seats and everything."
"Oh, that's right. I brought it in with me." She pulled it out of the corner of the sofa as if surprised to see she'd had it all along. The smile on her face didn't reach her eyes. "Sorry about that, Ben. Say goodbye to Grant. We need to get going."
"Bye, Grant. See you tomorrow." Ben cheerfully gave Grant a big hug.
"I'll be there." Grant returned the boy's embrace, holding the tiny body tight. So sturdy, yet so fragile. If anything ever-happened to Ben... He couldn't finish the thought. Serena's fears suddenly didn't seem quite so irrational. Maybe he could make some sort of compromise with her. If he'd been wearing his body armor, his injuries would have been minor. Maybe if he promised to wear his flak jacket religiously, she'd give him another chance.
Grant watched Loren and Ben buckle up in Loren's car, then slowly drive away. How on earth had Serena buried their son all alone?
And how did a parent ever get over the loss of their child?
After checking his watch for the third time in ten minutes, Grant reached for the phone. He'd asked Serena to give him a chance to talk to Rico. What on earth was taking the social worker's visit so long? He hoped there weren't problems. But he wouldn't know unless he asked.
Serena's phone rang, then her answering-machine picked up. He left a terse message, then hung up. Bored and restless, he paced the small expanse of his living room. Sure, he wanted to talk to Rico, but underneath he knew he really just wanted to see Serena again. The images from last night's love-making teased his senses, stirring the embers of dormant desire. He was glad Loren knew the truth, even if admitting he still loved Serena had been difficult. Doubts assailed him. Did Serena feel even remotely the same? Or was she right now remembering all the reasons she'd walked away before?
Within minutes, his phone rang again. He pounced. "Serena?"
There was a long pause. "Hell, no, this isn't Serena." The captain's caustic voice crackled over the line. "Is that how you answer your damn phone?"
"No, sorry about that, Captain." Grant rubbed the tense muscles along the back of his neck. "What's up?"
"Just wanted to thank you for sending Serena and Rico in to talk to us." He could hear the captain chewing what was, no doubt, another antacid, in his ear. "Rico didn't have a lot of information to share, but we have a few new leads to follow up on."
Puzzled, Grant sank onto the edge of his sofa. "Serena brought Rico in to see you? Why?"
"I figured her coming in to see us was your idea. Wasn't it?"
"Uh, yeah. Sort of." What in the heck had Serena done? Purposefully gone behind his back to make sure he wasn't involved in this case? He could hardly believe what the captain was telling him. He strove to keep his tone normal. "I'm glad you got some leads out of the deal."
"Sullivan, you weren't planning on talking to the boy yourself, were you?" The captain's voice took on a hard edge. "I warned you about meddling in this case. Thank God Serena doesn't listen to you."
His face flamed, and he was thankful the captain couldn't see his guilty reaction. "What kinds of leads did he give you? Names of other gang members? Details of their initiation rites? What?''
"Hah! Caught you in the act." The captain sounded positively gleeful. "You are trying to work this case. I'll slap a discipline in your file, see if I don't!"
"Fine. Whatever." Grant scowled at the phone. "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"
"That, and to keep your nose out of my case." The captain hung up in his ear.
Grant lay back on the sofa, wincing, as the muscles in his chest pulled. He called Serena again, but there was still no answer. Had she stayed with Rico and Marta? Was she at work? He always had trouble keeping her work schedule straight. For all he knew, she could be working any day, any shift.
With a sigh, he closed his eyes. Serena had gone over his head, straight to the captain. Did she really resent his career that much? Why hadn't she come to see him herself, even without Rico? Was she already regretting their time together?
With a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach, Grant vowed to force Serena to listen to his new resolution. Surely she owed him that much at le
ast?
Serena and Rico spent several hours down at the third district Milwaukee Police station, talking about the Hombres with Captain Reichert. At first Serena had to pry each bit of information out of Rico, step by step. But toward the end words tumbled from his lips, as if the horrible deeds were purulent fluid he needed to drain from his soul.
Afterwards, Serena drove Rico home. Marta seemed calmer and informed Serena that she'd applied for a job in the food-service department at Trinity Medical Center, using Serena's name as a reference. Relieved that Marta was taking steps in the right direction, she gave the woman a hug.
"I'm so glad. They'll call to offer you a job, you'll see."
Alone in her apartment, Serena thought about Grant. She flipped the answering-machine on so she wouldn't have to take his calls. Then she wandered down the hall to Daniel's room.
As always, when she approached the door, her stomach cramped painfully. Imaginary pains, but real enough deep in her heart. For a moment her hand hovered over the doorknob. Grant had offered to help her dismantle the room. Should she call him?
Remembering the way he'd greeted Ben, his face alight with laughter, firmed her resolve. No one had been closer to her child than she had been. She'd clean out Daniel's room and put him to rest once and for all.
She squared her shoulders and pushed open the door. The yellow, dusty walls didn't look nearly as inviting now that she'd seen the room through Grant's eyes. Full of determination, she went straight to the crib and stripped the dust-lined baby linen from the bed. Then she took the mattress out and propped it against the wall. Eyeing the frame of the crib, she realized she needed a screwdriver. Before she could change, her mind, she went in search of her mini-toolbox and brought the tools into the room.
She could do this. There was no reason at all for her to call Grant.
When the phone rang a while later, and she heard his voice on her answering-machine, she ignored his call.
With loving care, she packed the last of Daniel's things in a cardboard box, dampened with tears.
By the next day, she was tired of dodging Grant. He'd come to see her several times. As an escape she called Trinity to see if they needed any help. She quickly agreed to work the evening shift. Anything to get away from Grant, to avoid hearing his explanations about Loren and Ben.
"Hey, Serena, thanks for coming in." Marion, the evening shift charge nurse, greeted her with a grateful smile. "Your patient assignment is pretty easy, a simple vascular surgery patient who should have gone out today except for the fact that his heart showed some suspicious EKG changes indicative of a myocardial infarction. The second patient is a liver transplant who is doing very well and should also go out to the general floor tomorrow."
"Great." Serena almost wished she had a busier assignment, to keep her mind from dwelling on Grant. "I'll get a report."
The first shift nurse gave Serena a report on both patients, then left. When she entered the first patient's room she was pleasantly surprised to find Mr. Eichstadt awake.
"Hello, Mr. Eichstadt. My name is Serena and I'm your evening shift nurse. How are you feeling? Are you having any pain?"
"Nah, the pain isn't too bad. I'm doing fine. Except I'm waiting for my wife. She told me she was coming in today."
"Hmm." Serena subtly checked his vitals from the monitor above his head, making notations on her clipboard. "Would you like me to call her for you?"
"When you have time."
"Serena?" She turned to glance at the doorway. One of her peers stood there, holding up a phone receiver. "Is Mr. Eichstadt able to have visitors? His wife is here."
"Absolutely. Send her in." Serena turned back to her patient with a smile. "Your wife is already here, Mr. Eichstadt. She'll be up shortly."
"Oh, good. I was afraid something had happened to her." The elderly gentleman appeared relieved. "I don't like her driving back and forth so much."
"I can understand. I'm going to take a peek at your incisions." , Serena lifted the sheets. Everything looked fine. His heart rhythm was still a bit irregular and every few minutes he had a long pause between heartbeats, but otherwise he looked good. Probably he could have been monitored on a telemetry unit if his doctor hadn't been so conservative.
"Hello? Someone told me I could come in."
Serena gestured for the woman to enter the room. "Mrs. Eichstadt, my name is Serena and I'm your husband's nurse. He's been waiting anxiously for you to arrive."
"Oh, Edgar." The tiny, spry white-haired woman leaned over the bed rail to plant a kiss on her husband's cheek. "I promised to come around four, didn't I? Did you think I'd miss our fiftieth anniversary?"
"Your fiftieth? I'm so impressed! Congratulations." This was the part of nursing she sometimes missed, having patients who could converse. Critical-care nursing was interesting and demanding, but more often than not her patients couldn't talk.
"Thank you. Fifty years. We've been very blessed." Mrs. Eichstadt pulled up a chair and settled next to her husband's bed. He reached over and took her hand in his.
"Sure, she says that now. Remember those early years?" The older man teased.
Mrs. Eichstadt rolled her eyes. "Yes, those years you were with the Marines were awful. I absolutely hated all that moving around." She glanced at Serena with a wry smile. "I was so painfully shy back then. Every time we'd pick up and move I'd be surrounded by all these new people that I couldn't find the courage to talk to. Edgar made friends easily, he never seemed to mind. And once our first child was born, my housebound days grew longer. I swear there were times I worried about my sanity."
"Did Mr. Eichstadt get out of the Marines after his first tour?'' Serena asked, curious how this couple managed to make a marriage work for fifty years.
"Gosh, no!" Mrs. Eichstadt laughed. "Edgar loved being a Marine. I knew he was in the service when we married, so I learned to live with the stress of moving from location to location."
"Wow. That must have been difficult." Serena frowned. Why did women always have to be the ones to give in? She would have figured that Mr. Eichstadt would have gotten out of the Marines to make his wife happy.
"Well, yes, learning to live with the frequent moves was difficult," Mrs. Eichstadt confessed. "But, then, marriage is difficult in other ways, too." She beamed at her husband. "When you love someone, it's worth the effort it takes to make a relationship work."
Serena nodded, and turned to check on her second patient. When that was finished, she secretly called down to the kitchen, asking for a special cake to be brought up to the ICU as a surprise anniversary celebration for the Eichstadts. Then she rallied some of her fellow nurses to go in with her to present the cake.
The Eichstadts were thrilled with the small surprise. Mr. Eichstadt was supposed to be limited to taking clear liquids, but Serena had gotten the OK from the doctor to give him at least one bite of cake. Hopefully, his stomach wouldn't revolt.
Everyone clapped when Mrs. Eichstadt kissed her husband on the mouth, smearing frosting on his face. Serena watched the couple in awe.
Mrs. Eichstadt's parting words stayed with her for a long time. When you love someone, it's worth the effort it takes to make the relationship work.
Moving from place to place was very different than the scenario she faced with Grant. He put his life on the line every day. But, then, Mrs. Eichstadt mentioned fearing for her sanity. The couple had survived fifty years together.
Had she honestly given her relationship with Grant her best effort?
Serena's shift was nearing the end when one of her co-workers came to find her. "Serena? There's a boy named Rico down in the emergency department. He's asking for you."
Rico? Had he been assaulted again? Serena rushed for the phone. "Rico? What happened? Are you all right?"
"Come down, Serena. Marta's hurt."
"I'll be right there. Don't move." Serena slammed down the phone. "Emma? Will you cover my patients for me? My neighbor is downstairs in the ED and her twelve-year-old brothe
r is down there alone."
"Of course. Holler if you need help."
Serena nodded and dashed out of the unit. She took the nearest stairwell to the main floor, then headed straight for the emergency department. She couldn't imagine what had happened to Marta. Some sort of accident? Had she fallen down the stairs?
Using her ID badge, she gained access to the emergency department. Glancing at the huge whiteboard on one wall, she identified Marta's room.
Rico was waiting for her. The minute he saw her, he threw himself into her arms.
"My fault, this is my fault." He sobbed, his skinny arms clamped around her waist. "They got her."
"Who got her?" Serena clutched Rico close, but her gaze found Marta lying on the gurney. She'd been badly beaten, just like Rico had been. Marta's bruised face caused dread to congeal into desperate fear. "The Hombres?" Serena gasped. "Dear God, the Hombres did this to her?"
"Because of me." She was shocked at Rico's revelation, but before she could reassure him he broke free. "Stay with Marta. I'm going to get them. I know where they are."
"What? No, Rico, wait." Serena grabbed for his arm, but missed. The boy darted off. Serena cast a helpless glance at Marta, then followed Rico. "Rico! Wait for me!"
The kid was fast. He also knew exactly where he was going. Dodging emergency department equipment and busy personnel, he took a path straight for the doors.
"Stop him! Rico!" Serena kept after him, but he sprinted outside with all the energy of youth. Serena made it to the doors a few minutes later, but even as she wildly glanced around he was nowhere to be found.
"Rico!" Panting, Serena propped one arm on the brick wall. Where were the Hombres now? Two days ago, Rico had told the police the Hombres often moved between several locations.
She needed help fast. Then she saw Rico again. Nothing more than the brief outline of his small frame, silhouetted against the light from the parking lot. Suddenly she remembered one of the sites Rico had mentioned was the park across from the middle school.