Georgia shoved my arm. “Are you going to try?”
You mean I didn’t show up to drool over Heather as she moved like a genie goddess? Thank goodness she’d pulled her hair back. If she’d worn it down while lifting her arms like that and wiggling her hips … I’d be panting outright. “Right.” I had to turn my attention away from Heather just so I could think. It was time to figure things out once and for all. I was here to discover things about the woman I liked. I was here to show her I could take interest in the things that interested her. Using that time to stare at her was not doing either thing.
“So, Teya, are you from around here?” I asked. Yeah, it was a lame intro—so not as good as my regular lines.
Teya didn’t seem to mind. “I grew up in New Mexico but moved here for my job.”
“I followed her,” Georgia added. “I was ready to retire and needed an adventure.”
I didn’t think Evergreen Hollow had much adventure, but there was a beach. “That’s nice. I have a big family; we’re close.”
Teya’s eyes softened. “It’s just me and Mom here, but I have two brothers back in New Mexico. They’re all coming for Christmas.”
“That’s exciting,” I added in, hoping it was enough to keep the conversation going.
I studied Heather out of the corner of my eye to see if she had taken notice of our conversation. I wanted her to see that I took her training to heart. I wanted her praise. But she seemed into learning the next step, breathing hard and not even paying attention.
Okay, time to take it up a level. “What does she mean by a figure eight? How am I supposed to make my hips do that?” I asked Teya, who seemed to get this whole dance thing easily. “You’re a dancer, aren’t you?” I asked in a teasing voice, like she’d been holding back on me.
She nodded. “I danced all growing up. This is the closest I get to performing now, though.”
I purposefully did an awkward hip swivel.
Teya laughed. “Let me show you.” She came over and put her hand on my hip, rotating it to the front of the room. “Okay, follow this movement.” She used pressure to get me to move the way she wanted. I had trainers do this sort of thing all the time. And truly, her touch did nothing for me. It felt just like when Tayson corrected my form.
“Like this?” I moved forward in an effort to break her hands from my body. It didn’t feel right at all having another woman touching me while Heather was there. I wondered if it would feel normal if she wasn’t there. I doubted it. Her physical proximity wasn’t the issue—it was the space she had in my heart that changed me.
“You got it,” Teya exclaimed. Georgia gave me a thumbs-up.
I turned to smile at Heather, who also gave me a thumbs-up. Wow, if ever there was a clearer sign that she wasn’t into me, it was that. She’d just given me the equivalent of a mommy pat on the back for connecting with another woman. No green monster emerged. No freaking out over my flirting. Just the same old encouragement for getting the assignment right.
My heart sank to the floor. I made it through the rest of class by putting on my public persona, responding to Georgia and Teya and even making them laugh. All the while, I was barely holding in the sense of doom that hung over me like a cloud.
As the class ended, I made my way to the bench and switched out my street shoes. Heather kept her distance; her bag was closer to the door.
Teya sat down next to me. “That was a lot of fun.”
“Yeah.” Sure. Fun. Having my hopes dashed to pieces was so enjoyable.
Teya glanced at her mom, who made go-ahead motions with her hands. I briefly closed his eyes, knowing what was coming.
“Listen, I don’t usually do this,” Teya said softly. “But here’s my card. Call me if you want to go out sometime.” She held out her business card. “I wrote my cell on the back.”
Feeling like someone else had control of my body, I took the card. “Thanks. I will.”
She smiled and then stood. Georgia took that as her sign to move, and they hurried out of the room, glancing over their shoulders at me before slipping out the door.
I waved once, smiling as if all was right in my world, even though it was very wrong.
Heather appeared at my elbow, her expression hard to read. “You did really well. I think Teya has high hopes for you as boyfriend material.” She slapped me on the back. “I have to hurry to the office. Where will you be later on? I need to drop off some paperwork.”
Paperwork. Right. Could be paperwork. Could be an excuse to see me again. Dare I even hope? No. I did not. “I have to run some errands for Lottie, but I’ll be home after twelve.” I would have run right there and waited for her, but that would only drive me nuts. I needed to stay busy.
“Great. I’ll see you about 12:30, then.” She slapped me on the back again and left.
I made a beeline out of class and to one of the treadmills. I needed to pound out ten miles of frustration, and then I might run five more to get Heather out of my head. If I ran myself to exhaustion, I might be too tired to feel.
That would be awesome. Because I had a feeling I didn’t want to know what it felt like not to have Heather in my life. And I especially didn’t want to know what it felt like to love her and not have her love me back.
Chapter Sixteen
Heather
Friday
“You should have seen him.” I buried my face in my hands as my elbows rested on my desk. “He was so good with Teya.” I moved my hands to my stomach in an effort to quell the quaking.
“That’s good, then. You did what you set out to do.” Myrtle patted my shoulder. She stood behind me, acting like she was ready to catch me the moment I fell apart. Her hovering was both appreciated and annoying.
“Did I?” I looked up at her, feeling like a child who’d lost her way.
Myrtle pressed her lips, and her neck tightened with tension. “One week ago, you declared that you were going to make him the best boyfriend material ever, get your money, and get out.”
I flopped my head to the desk with a thump. “Why do I have to be so good at setting goals?” I moaned.
Myrtle chuckled and moved to lean against the desk. I guess I’d held it together long enough she was letting her guard down.
“He got her number,” I moaned, and I sat up so fast that Myrtle jumped. “Teya’s number. See, I know Teya. Well, I don’t know her, but she’s been in class for a couple months and I know enough. I know her mom moved here because Teya was lonely and needed a friend. I know she’s settled enough that she’s looking for a long-term relationship.”
“Isn’t everyone?” Myrtle quipped with the quirk of an eyebrow.
I huffed. “I wasn’t. Not. I’m not,” I corrected quickly. “Teya’s solid. She’s smart. Beautiful. Funny. All the things Liam should look for in a woman. He picked her out that fast.” I snapped my fingers. “Out of, like, twenty women.” I snapped again. “And there are women in there he shouldn’t be with—but he picked one of the few ones who are emotionally healthy and stable.” I snapped again.
Myrtle put her hand over mine to stop the snapping. “Good.”
It should be good. “I should feel amazing. I took a serial flirt and turned him into a commitment guru. I just …” I held back saying I wished it was me. Teya and I weren’t that different. We were both driven, professional women with higher education and goals in life. Why wasn’t it me? Why was it never me?
“Honey.” Myrtle ran her hand down my head like I was a little girl with a skinned knee. “I think it’s time you let him go.”
“What?”
Her face was set in a practiced calm expression. “You’ve done your job. He’s graduated from Heather’s Dating School.”
“I can’t put that on a diploma.”
She smiled. “Fine. Dr. Campbell’s Dating Course.”
“It hurts, though.” I tapped my chest, just over my heart, as my eyes welled with hot, stinging tears. That was when I knew it was going to be painful. If th
e tears stung, it meant they came right from a broken heart.
“I know.” She patted my arm. “The good ones are hard to let go. But you wouldn’t hold another patient back; why would you do that to him?”
I didn’t want to say the words, but they came out anyway. “I can’t,” I whispered. And I wouldn’t. Liam had done everything I’d asked of him. He’d shed his armor and opened his mind to a whole new way of thinking. He’d grown as a person, not just a date. “He’s my friend.”
Her face softened. “He’ll be your friend after this, too.”
“I hope so.” I sat up and opened my laptop. Myrtle had given me an idea. “Will you send him the invoice? I’ll need to leave at noon, and I might be late getting back.”
“You don’t have anything on the calendar until the gala tomorrow night.”
The team gala. The Wolves were in town for Jaxson’s wedding next weekend, and so they’d decided to have the team party here. I was scheduled to go, but hanging on Liam’s arm, knowing I couldn’t have him, would be torture. “Thanks. I’ll just head home, then.”
I hurried to type up a diploma for Liam—just like Myrtle had joked. The thing was, a diploma was perfect. He was sensitive about his dyslexia, and a diploma was symbolic of accomplishing something that took time, growth, and effort on the recipient’s part.
Not to mention what it took from me, but I wasn’t going to go there.
I’d gotten over him once, and I could do it again. The thing was, I hadn’t loved him like this in high school. That had been a crush of epic proportions, but not this deep and abiding love that had roots into my very soul. Liam might have graduated from my therapy sessions, but he’d never be out of my heart.
The drive to his place was a blur. I honestly couldn’t tell you if I ran stop signs or not. The whole thing felt like a funeral procession, only I was the one dying inside.
I knocked on his door and he answered quickly—almost as if he’d been waiting for me. I drank in the sight of him. He’d showered and changed his clothes, and his hair was still wet. My fingers itched to run through it, spraying droplets and making us both laugh.
Ugh! Life would have been so sweet together. All I wanted to do was shower him with love—to share all that burst through my heart when I looked at him.
“Come in.” He stepped aside so I could enter.
I shook my head. “I can’t.” Because going in meant familiarity, closeness, and that I might never let myself leave. “I-I’m in a hurry,” I stumbled to add.
His face fell. “What can I do for you?”
Love me. Ask me to marry you. Father my children. Pick one. “I brought you a certificate of completion.” I slipped the paper out of the folder in my hand, not sure how it had even gotten there and surprised that I’d remembered to grab it at all. I forced a smile and brandished it for him. “Certificate of completion for excellence in dating, gentleman-ship, and overall wooing.”
He broke into a grin. “Thanks. I’m going to hang it on my wall.”
I chuckled. “Somehow I knew you were going to say that.” Because that was Liam—my Liam. He was cocky and sure, but also self-deprecating in a way that endeared him to one and all.
I swallowed. The easy part was done. This next conversation was the one that made me want to die inside. “About the gala …”
His head came up from studying the certificate. “Yeah?” He drew the word out like he didn’t want to know what was coming.
“I think you should take Teya.” I held up my hand to stop myself from bursting into tears but also to stop him from protesting. “She’s beautiful, and she’ll handle herself well. I think you two would make a beautiful couple.”
“But you already said you’d go.”
“I know. But my contract is up today and …” I reached for an explanation that would suffice. “You don’t need me anymore.” I tapped the paper. “You know what to do. I’m certain the team owner will see the new you and be satisfied that you’ve changed your Casanova ways.” Because that was what this was about—cementing his spot on the team. It wasn’t about me and my heart.
“Is that what you want?” he asked as he squinted at me. It was like he wasn’t sure it was a good idea but would defer to my judgment on the matter.
It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was what was best for my client. He needed to fly solo. That was the point of therapy, to get the client to a place where they could thrive without their therapist. I had to take off the training wheels and give him a push. “Yep. Nothing would make me happier.”
His deep blue eyes turned to pools of sadness as he studied me. Then he took in a deep and exaggerated breath and nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay,” I agreed quickly. I blinked a little too fast to keep my tears at bay. “I gotta go.” The words came out low and strangled. “You’ve been a great patient, Liam. Thank you.” I choked on a sob and stumbled my way down the steps, the walkway turning blurry as I went.
“Heather! Wait!” he called behind me.
I waved an arm, telling him I had to go, and kept my face forward. Once in the car, I felt the tears fall, but they were the only thing I could feel. The rest of me was numb.
“Shock. I’m in shock,” I said out loud. “It happens to people when they experience a trauma.”
I desperately tried to engage the therapist, rational side of my brain and force it to take over. My feeling, emotional side was scrambling like one of those old commercials, and I felt like a broken glass vase. My heart was shattered on the ground in a million pieces. When I couldn’t see the road through my tears. I pulled over and opened the floodgates. I stared out the windshield and repeated the mantra that I’d been saying all day.
It’s the right thing. You’re doing the right thing.
I covered my face with my hands. Why did doing the right thing have to hurt so much?
Chapter Seventeen
Liam
Saturday
Night of the Gala
The door to my parents’ house was slightly ajar. I pushed it open slowly, wondering what on earth was going on. I had to get out of my apartment and away from my wallowing. There wasn’t anywhere else I wanted to be than with my family when I was hurting this bad. I needed the distraction and confidence that I was a great person—because right now, I was feeling anything but.
“Hello?” I called into the open foyer.
No one answered. A tingle of warning rushed over my skin as I stepped inside. Usually, this house was a hotbed of activity. I heard a drawer close upstairs and turned that direction. Suddenly, I was hit with half a dozen nerf bullets. I ducked in response, even though they didn’t hurt in the least.
Parker jumped out of the family room. “Gotcha!”
“And gave away your position.” Mason melted out of the shadows and peppered Parker with blue bullets.
Parker dived back behind the wall with a yelp.
I half grinned at Mason. “This takes me back.”
He put his finger over his mouth and stepped backwards until he was out the front door again. I rubbed my forehead. I’d walked right past him outside and hadn’t even known he was there. In all the nerf wars that happened in our house growing up, I’d never been able to beat Mason unless I teamed up with Carter. Even back then, Mason had mad sniper skills. It was good to see him dusting off his nerf nerd and playing with Parker. Heather had helped him heal in so many ways.
Maybe I should make an appointment with her and she could help me get over my heartache. Did it work if the pain was because of your therapist? I couldn’t even imagine how that session would go. We’d never really had sessions where I’d lain on her couch and explored my deepest thoughts and childhood. Maybe if we had, I wouldn’t have crossed from patient to man in love. I hoped she didn’t take all of her clients to knitting class or Zumba.
I headed up the stairs, intent on finding Jaxson. He’d have to make my excuses to the team, because I wasn’t going to the party without Heather.
I tapped
on his door. He and Lottie were staying at my parents’ house until the wedding. Then they planned to move into their brand-new house, which would be finished by the time they got back from their honeymoon.
“Come in,” Jaxson called. I used to barge right in, but I’d done that and caught Lottie and him kissing enough times that I learned to knock first.
I shoved open the door and found him tying a tie. The bathroom door was open, and Lottie was doing her makeup at the counter. This room used to be mine, and we’d had to share a bathroom growing up. It wasn’t hard. Lottie and I were close. Mom sometimes wondered if we were meant to be twins.
“Hey, sis and future bro.” I greeted her first and Jaxson second.
She turned, and her eyes grew big. “You’re not dressed.” She glanced past me. “Where’s Heather?”
I’d been stupid enough to tell them I’d asked Heather to be my date. They’d thought it was a great idea. Ha. It had been a stupid idea. A big, fat doozy. “She isn’t going, and neither am I.” I picked up a bottle of Jaxson’s cologne from the dresser and fiddled with it.
“What?” Lottie’s shriek could have been heard down by the pool.
I reared back and held up my hands. “Easy there. This isn’t a wedding event.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and fisted her hands. “What happened to Heather?” she ground out. Her eyes flew open, and she advanced on me. “If you played her, so help me …” She poked me in the chest.
Jaxson came behind her and put his arms around her, kissing her ear. “Babe, look at him. He’s miserable.”
She melted into his arms, but the fire in her gaze remained as she stared at me.
I glanced down, noting my basketball shorts and wrinkled tee. I might have slipped into some pity clothes.
His Romance Coach (A McKnight Family Romance Book 5) Page 14