Pressure built in his chest. “Mine, too. I wouldn’t have said I loved you if I didn’t mean it.”
“I know you care just as deeply as I do.” Her voice softened. “You make me feel like I’m the best thing that ever happened in your life.”
“Because you are. So, what’s the problem?”
“I’m pretty sure we don’t have the same long-term goals. I thought we could take our time figuring this out, but after what Dex said—”
“He’s four. You’re going to let the words of a four-year-old derail our relationship?”
She eyed him steadily. “Only if they’re true. You’ve mentioned before that you don’t want kids. I assumed you simply weren’t ready to have a family yet. Not that it would never be an option.”
Levi ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath. “Kids aren’t part of my game plan. I’m not going to lie about that.” He gestured toward the loft. “Look at this place. It’s tiny.”
“You’re right. So is my apartment over the warehouse. That’s what I wanted to talk about originally.”
“Oh?”
“Whether you’d be interested in finding a bigger place for the two of us to share. I know you aren’t thrilled when I stay in town. I’d rather spend nights with you, too. I thought we could discuss our options.”
“We can.”
Her eyes were sober as she regarded him. “Seems kind of pointless if long-term isn’t going to work for us.”
“Who says? That’s what I want. A future with you.”
Raine was quiet for a moment. “Where do you see yourself in five years, Levi?”
Reaching over, he took her hand in his. “Here with you. Living our best lives. Or maybe in a bigger place, like you mentioned. Running, hiking, biking, skiing. In five years, I’ll only be thirty-four—still in my prime.”
“And in ten?”
“Same but possibly slowing down a little. Your business will be kicking ass by then, with a half-dozen or more employees to do your bidding so we can spend time together.”
“That sounds great. It really does.” She squeezed his fingers. “What about family?”
“Dalton and Ursula aren’t going anywhere.”
“I don’t imagine they are. And tonight was fun, but at some point, I want what they have. A solid marriage and kids. When I go home to see my parents and brothers, I’m the cool aunt. I love hanging out with my nieces and nephews, but I’m not sure that’s enough.”
Levi released her hand and stared out the window into the dark night. His heart ached as he put his thoughts in order.
“Growing up, my brother was a world-class downhill skier. He raced in college and was on track to make the US Ski Team. But Ursula was in the picture by then, and he decided to come home instead of focusing on training and all the travel that involves. Do you know how often he gets out to ski now?”
“From your tone, I’d say not very frequently.”
“Maybe a dozen times last winter. I don’t want that to be me, giving up the things I love.”
“I don’t want you to give them up, either. I think Dalton made his own choices, and it doesn’t have to be an either-or situation. Family or fun. You can have both.”
“And if I can’t? It’s not like I get a do-over when it comes to kids.”
“No, you don’t.” She turned away and wiped her cheeks. “I need to go.”
“God, Raine. Don’t cry.” His throat hurt as he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t cry.”
She shook her head, her soft hair brushing against his chin. “That won’t work. I need to think about this.” Pushing him away, she rose to her feet.
“You’re upset.” He drew in a ragged breath. “So am I. Hell, I feel like I just took a punch to the gut, but please don’t leave. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight if that’s what you want.”
She brushed away more tears. “I need some time. And space. Lying in the loft, listening to you breathe down here isn’t going to help.”
“What about Yosemite. Matt and Ava are expecting both of us, and I’m sure as hell not letting you go alone.”
Raine walked over to the window and stood with her back to him. “You don’t get to decide what I do and don’t do.”
He mouthed a silent obscenity. “Sorry. Bad choice of words, but you understand my concern. Maybe we should call off the trip.”
“Yes, I understand, and I don’t intend to do anything foolhardy. But I don’t want to cancel. The fact that no one has tried to kill me in the last week tells me whoever is behind this is probably planning something for while we’re camping.”
“I had the same thought.”
“I want Detective Gilbert to nail whoever killed Cooper. He deserves justice.” Her shoulders rose and fell. “And I need to feel safe again. We can still go together. Maybe by then my emotions won’t be quite so . . . raw.”
Standing, he walked up behind her. Raising his hand, he touched her shoulder in a brief caress before letting it fall to his side. Their reflections stared back at them from the dark glass. Haunted eyes in drawn faces.
“This isn’t over, Raine. I’m not giving up on us.”
She dashed more tears off her cheeks. “I need to find some clarity. Make a few decisions.”
“We both do.”
She nodded. “You’re right. We’ll talk again in Yosemite.”
He clenched his hands into fists. “You don’t want to see me before then?”
“I have another event scheduled between now and our trip and a whole lot of prep work for my other clients. This will be for the best.”
The fight drained out of him. “All right. I won’t push.”
“I need to get a few of my things.” She didn’t meet his gaze as she walked past him. A moment later, the bathroom door clicked shut.
Levi didn’t move. The sound of her quiet sobs behind the closed door told him more than her words. For Raine, he feared it was already over.
Chapter Twenty
Raine stood in her office, staring out at the parking lot. Tightening her grip on the phone, she concentrated on what Detective Gilbert was saying. His next words sent a shiver through her.
“Matt Foster works for the mob?”
“It took some digging to uncover that piece of information since payments to his law firm are made through a shell corporation. But it appears the Malikov family put Foster on retainer over a year ago.
“That name sounds Russian.”
“It is. Their crime syndicate has ties up and down the west coast with centers of operation in L.A. and San Francisco. They’ve been under investigation for a long time.” The detective paused for a moment as papers shuffled faintly in the background. “Anyway, Vlad, the youngest son of the family patriarch, golfed a couple of times with Matt Foster and Cooper Swanson. He also dumped a load of cash into the same failed investment opportunity Bobby Bauer and Camille Valentine lost money on with Swanson.”
Raine felt for the corner of her desk and sat on the edge. “You think Matt introduced this Vlad person to Cooper?”
“It seems likely. Swanson obviously hit up more than one of his old friends about his investment scheme.”
“So, either the Russian Godfather or his son put pressure on Matt to do what?” Her stomach churned, and she took short breaths, trying to calm it. “To kill Cooper for messing with the Russian mob?”
“More likely they wanted their money back and gave Foster an ultimatum. He and Swanson may have argued, and the situation spun out of control.”
Raine frowned as a car drove slowly past outside her window. “Can you prove any of this?”
“Unfortunately, no. All I have is a couple of tee times and the same shell company used to pay Foster’s firm listed as a big investor in Swanson’s files. Everything else is speculation.”
“Which means you can’t simply arrest Matt.”
“I wish, but no prosecutor would take the case base
d on opportunity and conjecture alone. No matter how persuasive my argument, I need more evidence.” His tone deepened. “I’m going out on a limb, telling you all this, but I don’t want you walking into a situation without knowing exactly what you’ll be dealing with.”
She swallowed. “I appreciate that.”
“It’s clear Foster is afraid you saw something incriminating that night. If he goes after you in Yosemite, I’ll have the evidence I need to make an arrest.”
“So, you still want us to follow through on the camping trip?”
“Right now, that’s my best shot at building an actionable case against him. Hopefully Foster will do or say something damaging.” He was silent for a moment. “Look, Raine. No matter what happens, I fully intend to keep you safe. That’s my number one priority.”
“I guess we’ll see you tomorrow, then. If Matt killed Cooper over mob money—” Her voice broke. “I thought I knew both those men. I dated Cooper, for God’s sake, and Matt was my friend. I can’t believe I’m such a poor judge of character.”
“People change.”
“Do they?” She blinked back tears that lately, were always close to the surface. Would Levi ever change his mind about how he wanted to live his life? She didn’t believe so. Which meant she needed to come to terms with his vision of the future and embrace it—or move on without him.
“Are you still there, Raine?”
“What? Oh, sorry, Detective. I was thinking about something else.”
“I’ll touch base with you before you check in at the campground. I don’t want Foster seeing us together. Or Ms. Talbot, for that matter, since she might mention it to him.”
“Right. I wonder how Ava plays into all this. Maybe she’s just Matt’s excuse to get close to me again.”
“Probably. I need to go, but I wanted to fill you in before you left Truckee. I tried to call Levi, but he didn’t answer his phone. I’m sure you can give him an update on the situation.”
“I will. Thank you, Detective Gilbert.”
“No, thank you. I appreciate your willingness to work with us on this. Take care, Raine.”
She disconnected and set her phone on the desk. Touching her fingers to her eyes, she wiped away the dampness. Greed and fear had been at the root of Cooper’s death—both his own and Matt’s. Not that she was really surprised. Cooper’s lack of ethics wasn’t anything new, but she couldn’t stop wondering if he’d known his friends would lose money on their investments. Believing he’d simply been naïve and bad at his job was easier than admitting he’d maliciously betrayed their trust.
With a sigh, she picked up her phone again. She hadn’t talked to Levi since their conversation in his cabin several days before. The one time he’d called, she’d simply let it go to voice mail, and he hadn’t left a message. After a moment, she tapped the screen a couple of times to connect and wondered if he’d answer.
He picked up on the second ring. “Hey.”
Hearing his voice made her heart ache. She pressed a hand to her chest and forced herself to speak calmly. “I just talked to Detective Gilbert.”
“I saw I missed a call from him. What’s going on?”
“Apparently, a lot. Do you have a few minutes?”
“I’m out in the woods on a hike with guests, but we’re taking a break, and the reception is decent. Shoot.”
She outlined the highlights of her conversation with the detective, and Levi listened without interrupting.
“I think that’s it. He wants to meet with us before we go to the campground.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.” His voice was terse.
Raine gripped the edge of her desk. “What do you mean? You don’t want to go to Yosemite with me?”
“Oh, I want to go. I just don’t know if I can spend time with Matt without punching him in the face for siccing that asshole on you.”
“Not to mention killing Cooper.”
“Sounds like Cooper was asking for trouble. What was that idiot thinking, cheating a mobster out of his money?”
She slid off the desk and walked over to the window. “Maybe Matt didn’t tell him Vlad belonged to the Russian equivalent of the Corleone family.”
“I guess that’s possible. I wonder if the guy in the SUV who’s been targeting you is part of their organization.”
“Makes more sense than assuming Matt looked up thugs for hire in the yellow pages.”
Levi was quiet for a few seconds. “Are you okay, Raine? You sound tired.”
Probably because I haven’t slept since my whole world fell apart.
She tamped down the honest answer and offered a generic platitude instead. “I’m fine. Do you need help packing for our trip? My sleeping bag and tent and other gear are all still at your cabin.”
“No, I have it covered. We’ll need to stop at the store for food before we leave town, though.”
“Maybe I’ll go shopping now. I can finish up the paperwork from this morning’s birthday party tonight.”
“How’d your event go?”
“Great. My client said she’d recommend me to her friends.”
She might have been talking to any of her acquaintances, not the man she loved. Fear that this camping trip would be beyond awkward ate at her. She’d almost rather fight with him than maintain a stilted façade. Pressing her forehead against the window pane, she closed her eyes.
“I knew you’d be a huge success. Hey, I should go or it’ll be dark before I get my group back to the lodge.”
“Okay. Bye, Levi.”
“Bye, Raine. See you tomorrow.”
The connection went dead. She turned away from the window, determined not to cry. She’d spent far too many hours fighting off tears while she grappled with an unwinnable situation. And she still didn’t know what she intended to do because walking away from Levi would hurt more than she could imagine.
Leaving the office with her purse, she set the alarm and headed to her car. At least if she was in a public place buying groceries, she’d have to keep her emotions in check. Far better than moping around her apartment. Ten minutes later, she pushed a cart into the store and strolled the aisles, wishing she’d had the foresight to make a list. Stopping in the produce section, she pulled a notepad from her purse and planned a quick menu.
“Raine?”
Glancing up, she smiled. “Ursula. What brings you into town? Where are the kids?”
“At home with their grandparents. Dalton and Levi plan to barbecue at the lake and serve dinner outside to give me a night off. I have a few errands to run, and then I’m going to my book club meeting where I intend to relax and drink wine. You should join us.”
“I’d love to another time since I really need to make some friends up here. But I have paperwork to finish before we leave for Yosemite in the morning.”
“Levi mentioned you’re working with the detective in charge of your friend’s murder case. Something about implicating his killer.” Her brows lowered. “Sounds dangerous to me.”
“Honestly, I’m willing to risk just about anything to end this. And I trust Detective Gilbert to keep me safe.” Raine glanced behind her as a child wailed somewhere nearby.
“Levi won’t let anything happen to you.” Ursula touched her arm. “Is everything okay? You haven’t been around much lately, and my brother-in-law hasn’t exactly been his usual upbeat, cheerful self.”
She edged her cart closer to the bin of potatoes as a woman with a crying toddler nearly sideswiped her. Turning back to meet Ursula’s concerned gaze, the lie she’d intended to tell died on her tongue. She gripped the bar on the cart a little tighter.
“We’re having some problems.”
“Damn. I told Levi not to blow this since you’re awesome.”
Raine’s lips curved in a hint of a smile. “I appreciate that, but it’s not all his fault. We seem to be at cross-purposes when it comes to the future.”
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Dex spouting off at the t
able the other night?”
“Actually, I’m glad he did. We’d both been avoiding an important discussion. Better to get everything out into the open, right?”
“I suppose so, but I’m going to have a serious talk with my brother-in-law. Or make Dalton do it. Someone needs to knock some sense into that man.”
“Please don’t do anything drastic.” Raine drew in a ragged breath. “We still have this camping trip to get through.”
“Then after you come back, but I’m hoping you two can work things out. Levi loves you. I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been with you.”
“I know. I love him, too. But love isn’t always enough.”
“Sometimes love isn’t perfect. It can certainly be hard, but it’s always worth it. Think about that while you’re camping.”
“I will. Thanks for caring.”
“Shoot. I have to go or I’ll be late to book club.” Ursula reached over to give her a hug. “I’ll see you after your trip.”
“Okay.”
As the other woman hurried away, Raine moved down the aisle, automatically putting the produce she needed into her cart. Maybe Ursula was right. Maybe an imperfect future was better than losing the love of her life.
* * * *
“God, I adore this place. It’s just so freaking beautiful.”
Levi glanced over at Raine as he turned off the road into the parking area along the shore of Tenaya Lake. They’d left Truckee at dawn to take the eastern route along the foot of the Sierras, climbing up over Tioga pass into Tuolumne Meadows. Detective Gilbert had promised to meet them at Tenaya Lake rather than risk being seen together once they reached the valley.
“This lake in particular, or Yosemite in general?” He killed the engine and shifted on his seat to face her. Neither of them had talked much during the three-and-a-half-hour drive. At one point, Raine had started to say something and then backed off. He hadn’t mentioned her damp eyes, preferring to put off the inevitable conversation.
Midnight Reckoning (Leave No Trace Book 1) Page 22