“What are…” Madison looks at me with bugged-out eyes. There’s still a hint of red around them from crying. I have no idea how she put herself together so quickly, which tells me she has practice with doing so.
“We’re not done.” I lean forward on my elbows and lift a brow.
“Yes, we are…” she says through clenched teeth, her voice tight.
“What was that back there? And don’t say nothing.” I shake my head. “No one cries like that for nothing,” I whisper to avoid anyone hearing us.
“Tate, drop it,” she warns. “It’s not your problem.”
My hand slaps the table, and she jolts. “Sorry… Sorry…” I run a hand through my hair and take a few deep breaths. She does a quick head-shake, and I’m guessing the bodyguard is around.
“Damn it, Madison, I wish it weren’t my problem, but somehow you’re always my fucking problem. I can’t help it. Something’s wrong, and if you don’t ask for help, no one can help you.”
She lets out a dry laugh, her eyes showing zero humor. “How do you think I got the bodyguard? This isn’t for you to take on. That’s your downfall, you know? Always wanting to save people. Some things are unsalvageable.” She drinks her coffee as I process her words.
“Unsalvageable? Maddy, how much trouble are you in?” I lower my voice more, never breaking my eyes from hers. I watch carefully, seeing how her eyes twitch. A clear sign she’s nervous.
“I thought you were acting like a bratty celebrity when I read you skipped town…”
She glares, and I smile for getting a reaction from her.
“Despite what you think, I’m not a brat. Don’t always believe what you read, Tate. You should lay off the celebrity gossip. It’s not a good look for you.”
I tilt my head. “You changed, and I didn’t need any gossip shit to tell me that.”
She smiles sarcastically and shakes her head. Rolling her eyes, she leans forward. “When you’re constantly in the spotlight, you have to act a certain way. It’s just like wearing a costume. Even I’m not stupid enough to show them who I really am, give them more ammunition to shoot me down.”
My brows pull together. “I don’t get it…” I rub a hand over my chin and mouth.
“You wouldn’t.” My jaw tightens at her dismissal. “No one would get it unless they’re thrown into the middle of it. I didn’t even know how it could be until I became more well-known. You’re lucky.” She blinks quickly, my guess hiding the tears.
I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms and analyzing her. She’s definitely not the woman I knew. Hell, when I knew her, we were still kids, barely legal adults, yet that didn’t stop me from loving her with everything I had. She was my world.
Taking a deep breath, I ask, “How am I lucky?” I was left heartbroken. I don’t see much luck in that.
“Because you didn’t lose yourself.” She stands to leave.
Oh no, we aren’t done yet. I follow her out of the coffee shop and speak to her retreating form. “I had to stay here, always Willow Creek’s sweetheart’s ex-boyfriend. Ignoring the pity and whispers about how you’re out doing great things, and I’m here wastin’ away. Don’t tell me I didn’t lose myself. When you left, I was lost.” I don’t give a shit who hears us now.
Madison stops, keeping her back to me, so I keep talking. “You know you’re the winner in this situation. You got the dream, the fame. Even when you’re gone, the town is cheering you on. Then, I try to move on and…and…you fuckin’ show up.”
Her face is tear-soaked when she turns to look at me. I’m frozen watching her. “Oh, I’m sorry I ruined your life because I needed a place to stay safe.” She swipes at her face and looks so fucking sad that I want to hug her. Instead, I stare at her. After a few seconds, she shakes her head and walks away.
Desperation hits me as I try to figure out what she means. Safe? What does she need safety from—or who? When it comes to Madison, I can’t let things be. I walk down the street until I see the store I’m hoping will provide more answers. Yanking the door open, I walk into the bookstore. As soon as I see Miles, I say, “What the hell is going on with your sister?”
“Excuse me?” Miles looks up from a stack of papers with raised eyebrows. Even though things didn’t work out the way I thought with Madison, I never held that against her family. I wouldn’t call Miles for drinks because it was too much of a reminder of all that I had lost, but I never gave him my back either.
“What’s the deal? What’s she runnin’ from?” I cross my arms and arch a brow.
“Hi, Tate,” I hear June call out.
“June,” I throw over my shoulder, never taking my eyes off Miles.
“I saved you from that damn fire.” I point at him.
“And I appreciate that but don’t use that to get me to tell you something that’s not mine to tell. You were doing your job, and I was on the receiving end of it. Look, Tate, I know you love to save people. Hell, it’s why you became a firefighter, but let Madison be.”
I look at June, but she shakes her head. “I don’t know anything. This is between family, and if Madison wants to tell me, then she will.” She shrugs, clearly respecting Madison’s privacy, unlike me, but I have a reason to care. Damn it, she was the one at a point in life. She’s the reason I’m still in this town, still single, still questioning what would’ve been had she asked me to move to Nashville with her.
I tug my hair in frustration.
“Tate, I appreciate you’re worried about her, for whatever reason, but Madison needs space and time. If she wants you to know what’s going on, she will when she’s ready.” Miles looks at me with sympathy, probably feeling sorry for me because I’m clearly not over her.
“Just tell me if she’s okay.”
“She’s…” He closes his eyes for a second, heavy emotions painted on his face. “She is now that she’s here.”
It doesn’t calm my nerves, but at least Maddy’s got her family watching out for her. Suddenly, I feel guilty for the hell I gave her the first few times we ran into each other. I could tell something was wrong, but now every possible scenario runs through my mind, and none of them bring me peace.
Chapter 10
Madison
I strum the chords on my guitar, humming along with the beat. Since the moment I got back home from my walk, I’ve been sitting outside with my guitar, failing at analyzing my emotions and my conversation with Tate. When he sat across from me at The Grind, I knew he wouldn’t drop it. I expect everyone is already talking about us.
He’s so stubborn, and yet a part of me was hopeful that the reason he cares is that he doesn’t hate me as much as I think he does. He’ll always be irreplaceable in my life.
His hair is longer than he used to have it, almost like he hasn’t gotten a haircut in too long and his wavy hair grew out messily. It suits him. He’s even more handsome than he was, and having to look into his eyes today was difficult. I wanted to reach out, confide in him, let him protect me like I know he would. But that’s not his role in my life anymore.
We’re no longer Madison and Tate, high school sweethearts and couple goals. We’re two separate people now, two islands with an ocean of pain between us. I left him. I walked instead of giving him time like he asked for before moving to Nashville. I was too impatient, too excited, and when the opportunity presented itself, I left. I don’t blame him for resenting me.
I begin to play another song, one I wrote after Tate and I broke up. I never shared it, never even brought it up to my manager or producer. I tense just at the thought of him.
Closing my eyes, I sing quietly.
We were the ones they swore would survive,
The ones with a lifetime of love to get us by,
I still think about you,
Still remember your laugh
Even as I learn to live without you
I’m walking down heartbreak runway,
Beating myself for walking away,
You were all I wanted,
All
I needed,
But I’m walking down heartbreak runway
Lonely and thinking ‘bout you
I still smile when I remember your kisses,
The ghost of your touch sweet torture,
You gave me the best of your love
And I broke it
I’m walking down heartbreak runway,
Beating myself for walking away,
You were all I wanted,
All I needed,
But I’m walking down heartbreak runway
Lonely and thinking ‘bout you
You wouldn’t believe me if I told you
I miss you like crazy,
Walking down heartbreak runway,
Looking for you
Yeah, I still look for you,
I still hold on to
The promises we made
Walking down heartbreak runway
Tears soak my face and my breath is ragged as I sing the song I wrote about Tate so long ago. My heart aches, and I rub a hand over my chest in hopes that it will soothe the pain. But the pain is deeper, all the way down to my soul. He was everything I needed, so why did I let him go?
I wipe away the tears, glad my back is to the house so no one can see the mess I am. If I could do it all again, relive my life, remake my decisions with the wisdom I have now, I’d choose love over a career. It’s lonely when you don’t have the person you want to share it with. Tate always cheered me on, supported me, helped me write songs, inspired new ones by just loving me. He’s been the vision in my mind with every word I wrote and song that I sang.
Getting lost in my thoughts, I play my guitar and remember every detail about my relationship with him that I have secured away in my heart. I never spoke about him in Nashville. I left him as my secret. I didn’t want to taint him as my small-town ex-boyfriend and give people a reason to bother him.
Setting down my guitar, I stand and stretch. I’ve been sitting in the same position for an indefinite amount of time, and my body feels tight. After combing my hands through my hair and fixing my bun, an idea pops into my head. I shoot a quick text to Miles, asking him for June’s number. Maybe it’s time to spend more time with my future sister-in-law.
“Hello?” June answers on the second ring.
“Hey, it’s Madison.”
“Hey, Miles just told you asked for my number. What’s up?” I hear whispering in the background and assume it’s Miles questioning her.
“I was wondering if you’re free. I know, it’s random as heck, but I was hoping you could recommend the best hairdresser in town and come with me?”
“Oh…sure. I’ve only gone twice for a trim, but I like Mindy. She’s really good, and her mom used to do my hair when I was a kid.”
“Oh, yeah! She did mine, too. I didn’t realize Mindy took over. Do you think she’d have an appointment?” I need to take steps to return to my roots, and the hair’s the first thing to go. Well, not my long locks, the color.
“She might. I’ll give her a call. And honestly,” June pauses, “If it’s to do your hair, I’m sure she’d cancel whoever she has.” She laughs lightly.
“No, thanks. I don’t need people hating me for getting in the way of their hair time,” I laugh along with her.
“I’ll give her a quick call. I doubt she’d have many people on a Tuesday. I’ll let you know. I can pick you up if you want.” I smile as June speaks. Maybe she can become more than a sister-in-law. Lord knows I could use a friend.
“Sounds great. Thank you, June.”
“You’re welcome.”
After confirmation from June that Mindy has an opening in an hour, I get ready and let my mom know the plan. Ms. Sullivan smiles widely when she hears I’m going to hang out with June, which makes me happy. They’ve been a part of our family for so long, and now it’s becoming more permanent. And while Ms. Sullivan is like a second mom, I’m not that close to June, which hopefully will change now that she’s marrying my brother.
With Paul tailing us, June drives us into town and to Mindy’s hair salon.
“She was so excited when I told her you wanted an appointment,” June chuckles. “I did make sure she didn’t cancel anyone to fit you in.”
“Thanks,” I sigh. I wish people wouldn’t always see me as the star. I was a regular Willow Creek resident before that, and Mindy’s known me my whole life. She’s a few years older than Brett and has always lived in town.
“What are you gonna do?” June asks.
“Hoping she can bring it back to as close to my natural color as possible. Eventually, I want to just leave it natural.”
“Really?” June’s eyebrows lift in surprise.
I smile. “Yeah, really. The blonde hair is more for show, or as I like to call it, part of my prison sentence. I never wanted to dye it.” I shrug and look out the window, watching as local shops pass by us.
“Your natural color is really pretty, so I think that’s a great idea.”
I turn to look at June. Her eyes are focused on the road. “I’m sorry we never did anything about the bullying.” Her hands clench the steering wheel as her eyes flicker to mine.
“I don’t want to ruin the moment,” I add quickly. “I just wanted you to know that we never participated in it, but we should’ve said something.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Regardless, I feel the need to tell you I really am sorry.” I press my lips together.
“Thank you.” She smiles softly and parks the car. “Thankfully, I’ve worked through all that and am in a better place.”
I nod, absorbing her words. I hope that I can one day look back at all this and be grateful I’m in a better place.
“You know…” June looks me in the eye, her eyebrow slightly raised. “Tate stormed into the bookstore today while we were working there. He was a mess, asking your brother what was going on with you.” My eyes widen, and my breath catches.
“Don’t worry. Miles didn’t tell him. He hasn’t even told me, and I respect that. I just thought you might want to know. He looked pretty beat up over it.”
I exhale deeply and shake my head. “I ran into him earlier and then again at the coffee shop. He noticed something was wrong and kept asking, but it’s not his place to know. Not anymore.” I step out of the car and walk toward the hair salon. I’m not sure what I’m feeling at June’s news. It’s not anger—hurt, confusion, hope, maybe? No. I crush the sense of hope. I don’t deserve it.
June walks beside me in silence. When we walk into the salon, Mindy squeals like a teenager and hugs me, repeating over and over again how excited she is that I’m there.
“Mindy, you’ve known me all my life. Please, just treat me like regular Madison, none of that Rose crap.” I say, making sure she knows that I’m still the girl who grew up here.
“Sounds good. Now, tell me what you want done.”
After explaining the change I want, Mindy, June, and I laugh and talk as I get my hair done. It’s so relaxing, and I feel free of everything I’ve been holding in while I’m here. Hair time and girl talk definitely make things better. When I tell them about a wardrobe malfunction at a concert, we all break out in laughter. Nothing like having your outfit break in the middle of a show and have to hold one side up to not flash the world.
Mindy works my hair with expertise, and after washing off the product from my head and wrapping a towel around it to keep it hidden, she asks, “Ready for the reveal?” Her eyes shine with excitement.
I nod quickly, anxious to see how it’s turning out. Mindy turns my chair, so I’m facing the mirror. My teeth trap my bottom lip as I wait. I’ve been blonde since I got a record deal. The only memory of my natural ginger color is from photographs.
When she whips off the towel with a ta-da, I stare at myself. Gone are the bleach blonde locks. In their place is a beautiful red, so close to my natural roots, I’d almost believe it was real.
“Wow…” I whisper.
“I know, I’m pretty damn proud
of myself,” Mindy beams. “I can’t wait to see it dry. It’ll lighten up a bit more.” I look at June through the reflection with wide eyes, and she laughs.
I have to hand it to Mindy. She has done a phenomenal job. I brush my fingers through my now dry hair, in awe of how beautiful it looks. Staring at the girl in the mirror, I almost feel a piece of myself returning and blink away tears. It’ll take more than a change in hair color to heal, but I have hope that I will.
“Wanna grab somethin’ to drink?” I ask June, not quite ready to be alone with my thoughts.
“Sure. Last Call?” she asks.
“Perfect, I could so use a glass of wine.”
We walk along the street and head into Last Call, the town’s favorite watering hole.
“Thanks again for coming with me today.” I smile at June as we sit at a table.
“Honestly, I never realized how lonely I was until I came back here…until…” I swallow past the lump in my throat.
“You don’t have to tell me anything. I don’t want you to feel like you have to because I’m engaged to Miles,” June says when I don’t speak anymore.
I shake my head, trying to find my words. “It’s funny, you know… I’m always surrounded by people, never feeling like I have alone time, but no matter how many people are around me, the loneliness is drowning. Besides my best friend, Lauren, I don’t have any genuine friendships.”
June frowns. “I know that feeling.”
I nod slowly. I guess she would be the perfect person to understand how I feel. “I get along with my peers, but we never have time to see each other, our schedules keeping us busy. Also, when something traumatic happens, you question who you could turn to.”
The waiter interrupts us to take our order, and we both ask for a glass of wine. When he leaves, I continue. “I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you because Miles didn’t mention anything. That’s just how he is. He never tells someone else’s story. I thought he would’ve told you, though, as an outlet to vent to. Plus, you’re living together.”
Homecoming Queen: A Second Chance Romance (Carlisle Cellars Book 2) Page 7