by Kaela Coble
“Uh-oh is right,” I say to Aaron, leaving him so that I can guide the two girls off the dance floor. Krystal clings to Murphy’s arms, like she’s hoping he will start dancing with her and then the fight will be over, she wins. If you ask me, the prize isn’t worth it. Obviously I love Murphy, but he has got to be the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my life. Murphy never does anything he doesn’t want to do, and if he’s doing you a favor, it’s probably because he either owes you one or he’s looking for you to owe him one. But these girls, it’s like they think it’s charming or something, his complete lack of thought for anyone else. Case in point, he doesn’t defend either Krystal or Ruby, but just stands there and waits for me to clean up his mess. I’m a mother already, and I haven’t even given birth yet.
I put one hand on Krystal’s shoulders and one on Ruby’s and lead them away from the crowd. They can’t fight me off, I’m pregnant. Aaron, Emmett, Steph, and Murphy all follow us off the floor and into the lobby of the reception hall. I might not be able to put out this fire, but I can at least try to quarantine it before it spreads across the whole damn reception. No luck. It’s already been lit. On the way out of the room I catch sight of Charlene, who is propping up the bar and cackling. Next to her is Nancy, who has a glass of clear liquid in front of her that I can only hope is water or seltzer.
“What is your PROBLEM?” Ruby explodes once we’re through the doors of the hall and in the lobby. “We were just dancing! We’ve been friends since we were little kids. I can’t dance with someone I’ve known my whole life at our friend’s wedding?” Ruby is Fired Up. It’s just like the halls of Chatwick High—Ruby fuming because one of Murphy’s girlfriends was rude to her. Is it the alcohol that’s aging her down ten years, or is she just under the influence of Murphy?
“I’m getting a little tired of this lifelong-friend bullshit,” Krystal says, arms crossed. “I barely even heard of you, until Danny topped himself—”
“Watch it, Krystal,” I cut in.
“Sure, Ally, stick up for your best friend Ruby, because I mentioned your best friend Danny. Did you know your best friend Ruby was sleeping with your best friend Murphy?”
I pause. How would Krystal know about that? I glance at my friends, who all look confused, except for Murphy and Ruby. Ruby shakes her head just enough so that I can see. But the cat’s out of the bag now, so we might as well declaw it. “That was a long time ago, Krystal. What business is it of yours?”
Krystal holds one stubby finger about an inch away from my face and slurs, “One week after Danny’s funeral—after I’d given Murphy the space he said he needed—I went to spend the night at his house. Resuming our normal routine.” She says this last sentence pointedly at Ruby, who is biting her cheek, her arms crossed now. “I smell perfume on my pillow that is definitely not mine. I ask Murphy about it, but he tells me I’m crazy. Then we go to New York, I hug Ruby when we get there, and for the rest of the day her stench is on my clothes, and I know. I know it was her.” She points at Ruby, who is no longer shaking her head.
Oh.
When Ruby finally admitted Murphy was the father of her baby, I guess it wasn’t a total shock. I mean, we all had our suspicions there was more than just friendship there. But it never occurred to me they still had something going on, after all this time. And what business does Ruby have sleeping with a man, when she hasn’t even told him he knocked her up?
Aaron, good old peacemaking, tension-breaking Aaron, slugs Murphy on the arm. “Jesus, Murph, change your sheets much?” I can’t help it. I laugh.
Krystal narrows her eyes at me. “Oh, is that funny, Ally? It’s so funny that your perfect little Ruby screwed Murphy, even knowing I was in the picture? Oh, but that’s right! I remember, you don’t place too high a value on fidelity, do you?”
I feel like I’ve been slapped. And I have a sinking feeling I know where she’s going with this.
Aaron’s face hardens. “All right, I’ve heard about enough of this. Let’s go.” He puts his arm around Krystal, gripping her shoulder, trying to guide her outside, even farther away from the reception. At this point, I hope he dumps her in a snow bank.
“Don’t put so much effort into defending your wife, Aaron,” she says, practically spitting as she talks now. “She probably wouldn’t even be your wife, if you knew she had sex with Danny Deuso!”
He drops his grip.
“That’s right,” Krystal says, marching back to me, breathing her cheap-beer breath straight into my nose. “That’s right, Ally, I read your precious secret. It was there in your purse on the bus ride home, and I read it while you were sleeping, and I didn’t say anything until now because I’m a good friend. Loyal. But I’m not going to stand here and have you act like Miss Perfect, because you’re not. You’re not. You slept with Danny! You cheated on Aaron!”
And there it is. My secret is out. About a half second later, Ruby lunges for Krystal. Emmett catches her just one inch before her fist makes contact with Krystal’s face. I can tell he didn’t want to stop her, and I wish he had hesitated one second longer. As he drags Ruby away, she shouts so many swear words I haven’t even heard some of them. She must have picked them up on the subway. Emmett puts his hand over her mouth.
“Ruby, shut up! Jesus, the whole hall can hear you!” he scolds her. She continues to struggle as Krystal stands there smugly, inching her way back over to Murphy, who keeps stepping farther away.
“Tell me this isn’t true, Ally,” Aaron pleads.
I say nothing. I can’t. He looks at me, his eyes starting to glaze over with tears. His hands go to his head, his fists clench around clumps of the hair I took fifteen minutes to style.
“Was it his?” he asks hoarsely.
I blink. “Was what whose?”
“Was it Danny’s baby?”
Oh my God, he still thinks I’m lying about the abortion, and now he thinks I hid it because it was Danny’s! I shake my head. “No, Aaron, you’ve got it wrong—”
“Oh, SPARE me!” he yells, his arms flying up into the air.
“Aaron, let’s just go outside and talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk to you! Every time we talk, I get a different story. Speaking of which, real genius move, getting Ruby involved. What did you hold over her head to get her to go along with it?”
Suddenly I feel like a caged animal. My eyes search desperately until they land on Ruby. She is still struggling against Emmett’s grip, his hand still clamped firmly over her mouth. She is shouting through it, and judging by Emmett’s winces, trying to bite her way out.
Aaron turns to leave, and suddenly I know if he walks out that door without knowing the truth, I will lose him forever. But even if I tell the truth—if I throw my friend under the bus in front of everyone, in front of Murphy, who shouldn’t have to find out like this—it won’t make a difference. He won’t believe me.
“Aaron, stop,” says Murphy, stepping out from the corner to block my husband’s exit. We all whip our heads toward him. What could he possibly contribute to this situation?
“I don’t know about Ally and Danny, not for sure anyway—and if something did happen, it was a long time ago. But I do know this. Ally didn’t have an abortion. Ruby did. Danny put Ruby’s secret in Ally’s envelope.”
Our mouths hang open like we’re trying to catch flies.
“How do you know that?” Aaron demands. “Did they tell you to say that?”
“No,” Murphy says. “I know because I’m the one who got her pregnant. I knew about it and never said anything. That was my secret.”
“It was when we weren’t together!” I yell after Aaron, who is walking away from me. We are in the parking lot, and neither of us have coats on to protect us from the December—almost January—air. My teeth chatter, and in the back of my mind I’m worried about what a lowered body temperature will do to the baby. In the front of my mind, though, is desperation at the thought of my husband leaving me. Even after he seemed to believe
what Murphy said, he still walked out. Because my real secret, that I slept with Danny, is upsetting enough, without bringing a secret pregnancy into it.
Aaron stops in his tracks. Turns. “So what, Al, you guys did it when you were like fourteen? You’re telling me I wasn’t your first? Where do the lies end?”
“No,” I say, waving my hands. “No, it was that month when you first went away to college. You were the one who wanted to break up, remember? I was devastated! I loved you, and I wanted to make it work, but you thought it would be better for us to have some time apart, to figure out if it’s what we really wanted. You can’t be mad I slept with someone when we weren’t together! You slept with Christie Bedard during that time, if you remember.”
“Yeah, but I came clean about it, Ally! And as I remember, I had to work for months to regain your trust after that, and still you’ve held it over my head for a decade. Always bragging that I’m the only man you’ve ever slept with, like you’re some saint. And all the while, you slept with one of our friends? Danny, no less?”
“I was hurt! I thought we would be together forever, and then you dumped me! I just needed . . . I needed someone to make me feel less hopeless. And there was Danny, telling me he always had a thing for me . . .”
I can hardly remember the night. The first night, anyway. It was late. I had drunk a good amount of wine, had a good cry over a chick flick, and then Danny called to tell me he had heard that Aaron and I had split. He wanted to see if I was okay. I was drunk, and alone. Tara had just left for college, and even though Ruby hadn’t left yet, she was MIA most of the summer, so I didn’t feel like I could call her. So I asked Danny to come over. He was there in minutes. He told me he was sorry, that Aaron was an idiot; that if he had me, he would never have let me go. And then he told me he had feelings for me—that he’d had a crush on me since we were kids. I basically mauled him, I was so hungry to feel wanted. And besides, I had always thought Danny was cute, in a below-the-tracks kind of way. I told myself it would just be the one time, but he kept showing up, never letting me feel down, never letting me be alone. After a week he told me he was in love with me, that he wanted to be with me. Instead, I got back together with Aaron.
“Always had a thing for you?” Aaron says. “Are you kidding me right now, Ally? We hung out with that kid every day. You’re telling me he looked straight into my eyes, acting like we were all just such good friends, and the whole time he was trying to get you for himself?”
“No! I never knew anything about it until the night . . . it happened. I swear, Danny never said anything. He loved you, too, and he always respected our relationship. But then . . . we didn’t have one and . . .”
“And he took advantage of you,” Aaron says. It’s more of a challenge than a question.
The countdown from inside the hall interrupts us. “Four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . Happy New Year!” and Aaron and I just stand there, staring at each other, my heart in my hands. Aaron waits for reassurance I’m not sure I can give. Danny didn’t take advantage of me, any more than I wanted to be taken advantage of. I may not have loved Danny the way he loved me, but I wanted him that night, and the night after that, and the week after that. The time he and I spent together was one of the most painful and beautiful times in my life, and when Aaron and I decided to get back together, part of me was sad to have to let Danny go. No relationship is perfect, and when things get rough with Aaron, I always have the memory of my time with Danny to get me through. But I can’t say that to Aaron. My husband has to come before Danny’s memory. So I just shrug, and decide it’s okay to keep this one thing hidden inside my heart. No slip of paper is going to destroy my marriage.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
STEPH
Now
Ally chases Aaron into the parking lot. Murphy drags Ruby off before she can storm away. Krystal, happy with the mess she’s created, practically skips back into my reception, looking over her shoulder to make sure Ruby isn’t behind her. I love Krys and all, and I get why she would be upset with Murphy, but I gotta say, after that little tantrum I wouldn’t have minded seeing her get hit. And seeing Ruby so fired up like that was kind of thrilling. She’s been so reserved since I’ve met her. Friendly, but like she was holding back. Can’t take the Chatwick out of the girl, I guess.
It’s just me and Emmett left in the lobby. “Welcome to the family, baby,” Emmett says to me with a wink. He pulls me into a hug, kisses my forehead, and rests his chin on my skull. I love it when he does that. I hate to sound old-fashioned, but it’s nice to feel tiny and protected. I should probably be upset, both by the fact that this drama is currently gobbling up all the attention and by the subject matter itself, but I can’t seem to stop smiling. I’m married. I’m Emmett’s wife. And the fact that his friends—my friends—have all humped each other doesn’t seem like such an insurmountable crisis, considering the things we’ve been through this year.
Furthermore, it seems my strategy to reveal just enough about Emmett worked. Looks like everyone lied about their secrets, but we’re the only ones who got away with it. I know he told Ruby about it, so hopefully that will satisfy Danny’s requirement and we are taken care of, karmically speaking. I’m not too concerned about Ruby knowing. Out of all of them, that girl, apparently, can keep one hell of a secret. Thank God we paid off our debts and Emmett isn’t doing that anymore. Every time he went up to Canada I thought I was going to end up needing a heart operation.
I hear the countdown and kiss Emmett at the stroke of midnight. I can only hope this is the first of decades of New Year’s kisses we will share. I sigh and bury my head into my new husband’s chest, breathing him in. I don’t ever want to leave his side, don’t want to be away from him for even one minute tonight, but I pull back.
“I should go check on Ally,” I tell him. “Make sure she’s okay.” He nods, smiles. I get the sense I’ve passed some kind of test by not throwing a fit about the disruption. I feel more like I’ve been hazed. I grab Ally’s coat and, as an afterthought, put on mine. If Aaron ran off, she could be outside alone and need to talk, and Lord knows how long that’s going to take. As acclimated to the cold as any native Vermonter, I’m still in a strapless wedding dress, for Pete’s sake.
I push open the door of the reception hall and peer out into the darkness. “Al?” I call. No response. The parking lot is empty of people and silent, except for . . . what is that creaking? I scan the rows of cars and find Aaron’s truck rocking back and forth, the windows all fogged up. I giggle to myself. Those two. I hope Emmett and I have as active a sex life as them, when we’ve been married for five years and/or I’m pregnant with our first kid. The latter of which should happen any day now, if all goes well. I know Emmett’s going to be okay. I know it. But I’m not taking any chances.
I turn and walk back into the hall, ready to return to the festivities. I decide to go to the bathroom first, and on the way I hear voices in the stairwell. I know I shouldn’t listen, but it could be Krystal and Ruby about to resume where they left off, and bloodshed is not exactly how I want this night to end.
“—this whole time?” It’s Ruby.
“I’m sorry, Ruby, I—”
“How did you know?”
“Danny.”
“But he didn’t even know until after you guys fought. I thought you never spoke after that?”
“We spoke once. He called me after he took you to your first appointment at Planned Parenthood, to tell me what was happening. Danny convinced you to put the abortion off for a few days, to give me time to get down there.”
“He said that?”
“He said he didn’t care whether I stopped you or not, he just thought I should know and that I should be there.”
“But you didn’t agree? What? Too busy with your perfect, pure little girlfriend?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Don’t talk to me about what’s fair, Murphy Leblanc. Jesus, did you ever love me at all?”
Whoa! Now I really shouldn’t be listening.
“Of course I—”
“Because I don’t see how you could say you love somebody—how you could even claim to be my best friend—when you knew I was going through that and you didn’t even . . . you didn’t even . . .” Her voice breaks, and I can tell she’s crying. Or struggling not to cry.
“You weren’t exactly innocent, Ruby. You made Danny swear not to tell the father of your child that you were even pregnant. Your best friend. I’ve been waiting for you to tell me yourself for ten goddamn years! How do you think it made me feel, to be cut out of a decision like that? How do you think it made me feel, that you wanted so little to do with me you would do that to a life we made together, without even talking to me about it?”
“If you were so hurt by it, why did you sleep with me the day after the funeral? Why did you maul me at Ally’s Christmas party? You didn’t seem too hurt then.”
That little sneak! Right under Krystal’s nose? Even if they aren’t an official couple, Murphy couldn’t at least be a little more discreet? Krys was at that party.
“You didn’t let me finish. I was hurt. But in the end, I knew you were making the only decision you could, given our . . . circumstances. I stayed away because I respected your decision to keep me out of it. I left you alone so that you could do what you wanted and move on.”
“Yeah, that sounds like you, Murph. So selfless. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that you got off scot-free and didn’t have to give up your little backup girlfriend,” Ruby spits back. “I lost everything, Murphy. And what I didn’t lose, I gave away. Not just for me. It was so that you could be free to do what you wanted. I didn’t want you to be forced to stay with me if I decided to keep it, and I didn’t want you to have to go through the pain if . . .”
“ . . . you decided to abort.”