“Let’s get it started.” I walked toward the front of the bus as I heard Donna exit the bathroom and retreat into her bedroom. I sighed, feeling defeated. Tucker stepped onto the bus and held up an alligator head.
“What is that for?” I asked as I grabbed an unopened beer from Eric’s hand.
“I thought it would look cool mounted on the front of the bus or something.”
I rolled my eyes as I cracked open my beer and took a drink.
“No way.” Eric grabbed it from Tucker’s hands with a grin. “I want to hang it on a chain and wear it as a necklace.”
“Don’t be stupid.” Tucker took back the head and gave Eric a playful shove. The bus lurched forward, and we all grabbed onto whatever we could to keep from falling. “Jesus, Ivan. A little warning next time?” The driver waved his hand as an apology, and Tucker shook his head, laughing.
“Where’s Filth?” I asked, expecting at least a few of the members to join us.
“Band meeting or some shit. They will get up with us at the next stop,” Eric replied as he grabbed himself a can of beer. He held it over the sink and grabbed a knife from the drawer.
“What is he doing?”
“Being an idiot,” Terry answered.
“I want to be an idiot, too.” Chris shoved by his brother and grabbed a beer.
Eric punctured the can and held it to his lips as he opened the tab on top. Within seconds the can was drained into his mouth, and he slammed it into the sink. Chris took his place and repeated the process.
“You’re next,” he said to me, and I shook my head.
“I am not doing that. I’ll spill it all over me.”
“It’s not that hard.”
“That’s what she said!”
Everyone laughed so loudly I didn’t hear Donna approach from behind me. They stopped laughing, and for a second I thought I had grown a third eye.
“I’d like a turn.” She was speaking without the hard edge to her voice I was used to. I spun around to see Donna wearing an old pair of faded jeans and a black tank top. Her hair was down, and she instantly looked ten years younger. She could only be in her midtwenties at most.
The guys just stared at her like they didn’t know who she was.
“Grab Donna a beer, Eric. I’m after her,” I said.
She gave me an appreciative smile, and I returned it, hoping that things were going to get better after all. This was step in the right direction.
Tucker plugged an old iPod into the little radio they picked up at a truck stop along the tour, and we all relaxed, singing along to music from the eighties and nineties. We took turns shotgunning beers, and after a few, we were brave enough to try Chris’s beer bong. The hours began to fly by as we all laughed and shared stories. Donna didn’t speak very much, but she listened intently, and Eric made an effort to ask her questions, encouraging her to be a part of the conversation. Under his angry exterior, he was a really great guy.
Tucker and I made sure Eric and Donna sat next to each other whenever we could make it happen. She relaxed as the night wore on, and eventually she was smacking him on the arm when he picked on her and bumping her shoulder against his.
“We should hit a strip club,” Chris said as he pulled the tab off his empty beer can and tossed it at Tucker.
“Come on, Chris, we need to stay on schedule,” Donna replied with a small laugh as Eric put his hand over her mouth to keep her from saying we shouldn’t go.
“You can’t go wrong with strippers.” Eric shrugged as Donna bit into his finger and pried his hand from her mouth. “Ow! What the fuck!”
She rolled her eyes and got up from the table, heading for the bathroom. Eric leaned forward and tried to whisper, but in his drunken state it was actually louder than his normal voice.
“I had no idea she was hiding under all that bitchiness and long skirts.”
“I think she likes you,” I whispered back and smiled. Tucker picked up his beer and tipped the can toward Eric in agreement before taking a small sip.
“Too bad she’s our fucking manager.” He shook his head.
Tucker glanced over at me and I knew he was second-guessing my plan. Donna came back out and propped herself against the counter, grabbing another beer from the fridge and sipping it.
“Why don’t we find a place to play a few games of pool?” I suggested, hoping that a bar atmosphere would be enough to make the single guys happy.
“You don’t want to play me in pool. I’m practically a professional,” Eric said.
Terry laughed out loud and patted Eric hard on the back.
“What? I could kick your ass!” Eric eyed Terry, and I knew he wanted to accept his challenge.
“I don’t know how to play,” Donna spoke up, but she didn’t object.
“That’s perfect. Eric can teach you. It would be nice to all hang out somewhere a little less crowded,” I suggested. Everyone looked to Donna as if she was in charge of their every move. I sighed and pushed against Tucker so he would let me out from the table.
I made my way to the driver, bracing myself on the back of his seat.
“Take us somewhere with beer and pool tables.”
He nodded and gave me a thumbs-up. I patted him on the shoulder and walked to the little kitchen, leaning against the counter next to Donna. She seemed far less intimidating without her high heels.
“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “I need off this death trap anyway. It’s making me sick.”
“Should we let Filth know? We need to stick together for the next show,” Chris said.
Shit. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Nothing good could come from Eric watching Sarah making out with Derek. Before I could think of a proper excuse to protest, Chris was on his phone and calling up Derek. They talked for a minute before he hung up and nodded, letting us know they had agreed.
I looked at Tucker, and he just shook his head, knowing tonight was a bust. I looked over at Donna who was staring at Eric. Just great. She was finally starting to come around, and now it was going to explode in her face.
We pulled off the highway about fifteen minutes later, the sun sinking behind the trees. I stepped off the bus, and Sarah came bounding over to me, a smile plastered on her face.
“You’re in a better mood.” I swayed on my feet.
“Derek wants me to marry him!” She covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.
“He what?” I didn’t mean to sound horrified, but I could not believe the night was turning out this way. Just a few hours ago, she was on the verge of tears thanks to that guy, and now she was ecstatic.
“He didn’t propose, like, officially.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the bus door. I was thankful for that. In my shock I forgot that the guys would be coming out right behind me. “It was crazy. We had a bad night, and I really thought he was going to break it off again. We went into the back of the bus about ten minutes ago. I was preparing for him to tell me it wasn’t working, but he told me he loved me and he was sorry for everything. He said he wanted me to be his wife! Can you believe it?”
I really couldn’t believe it. Sarah seemed so strong and always had sage advice for whatever I was going through, but something was very off about her relationship, and she didn’t seem capable of seeing it. But I had to admit to myself that I didn’t know Derek very well, and the only thing I was certain of was that right now Sarah was happy, and I should be happy for her.
“Congratulations!” I pulled her in for a hug.
“Thank you! It means a lot to me. You’re my best friend, you know that?”
I beamed. I’d never been anyone’s best friend before, and the words made me feel warm, loved, appreciated.
“Just don’t say anything. We’re kind of keeping it to ourselves, you know, until it’s official with a ring and all that.”
Tucker came up behind me and threw his arm over my shoulders.
“You ready to go have some fun?” he asked.
“
Absolutely.” I looked behind us at the bands as they stood together and talked. “Let’s get this over with.”
19
THE BAR WAS pretty much empty given that it was a weeknight, and it took me a minute to remember if it was Wednesday or Thursday. Everything ran together when you lived on a bus. There was no real sense of time or urgency. As long as we made it to the next gig, life unfolded naturally.
We claimed the two pool tables in the back of the bar, and Eric went to get change so we could play our games. Derek watched him like a hawk, which is when I realized Sarah was also at the bar, ordering drinks.
“I’m gonna grab some beers,” I told Tucker before making my way to the bar. I positioned myself between Eric and Sarah and desperately tried to think of something to say.
“Can you get some quarters for the jukebox? This place is too quiet.”
“Yeah, no problem. No more sad country shit, though.”
I laughed, trying not to let it sound forced, but I knew Sarah was still waiting on her drinks.
“I think that machine takes bills.” He pulled a small wad of money out of his back pocket and handed me a one.
“You want to come help me find some songs? Wouldn’t want to play any country shit.”
“Sure.” He glanced around me at Sarah, but she was busy talking to the bartender. I pushed Eric toward the machine, hoping I could stall him enough for her to get her drinks and go back to Derek.
We stuck with the theme of the night and played eighties rock and a few one-hit wonders from the nineties. It was always more fun when everyone knew the words and could sing along at the tops of their lungs. After we had picked our last song, Eric went to the bar to grab a round of beers, and I hurried over to Tucker to see if I could get a moment alone with him to let him know what was going on.
Filth was engaged in a full-on death match at one of the pool tables, and the twins played at the other while they waited for Eric. Donna stood beside Tucker, watching them as they tried to explain how the game worked.
“Eric is grabbing the drinks. I need to go to the ladies’ room,” I said to Tucker before turning to Donna. “You mind helping E carry the drinks?”
Donna glanced over at the bar and nodded before making her way over to help him out.
“I have some news,” I whispered as I glanced at the table behind us. Derek had just made a shot, and Sarah was wrapping her arms around him, praising his skills.
“Sarah and Derek are engaged,” I whispered into his ear, and he pulled back to look me in the eye.
“This is going to end badly,” he replied as his eyes went to Eric and Donna who were heading toward us.
I nodded, not knowing how else to stop the train wreck I had put in motion. I prayed silently to whoever was listening that if they let both bands survive the night intact, I would try to not meddle in my friends’ relationships. I knew my pleas normally fell on deaf ears after all I had been through in the past, but I needed a miracle.
“I got next,” Eric called out as he handed a beer to Tucker and me. “You wanna play?” he asked.
Tucker wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my back against his chest.
“We’re just watching for now. Why don’t you play teams? You and Donna can take on the twins.”
Eric looked behind him and the twins as they trash-talked each other and then his gaze fell on Donna who stood on the other side of the table watching.
“You think she will have beginner’s luck?” he asked, turning back to us and causally sipping his drink.
“It’s pretty hard.” I shrugged. “You may have to help her.”
He smirked, raising an eyebrow as he tipped the neck of his bottle toward me. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
“That’s what she said.” I laughed, and Tucker and Eric chuckled.
Sarah yelped from behind us, and we all turned to see what had happened. Derek had pinched her butt hard and she smacked him playfully before pulling him in for a kiss. I looked back at Eric who looked devastated.
“This looks easy enough,” Donna said as she walked up beside Eric. His attention shifted, but I knew he was not in the greatest mood. It took very little to set him off.
“We can take them,” he replied, his eyes drifting down to her chest for a split second, but I had caught it.
“I need to go to the bathroom.” Sarah grabbed my arm and yanked me out of Tucker’s embrace. This night was not going to be easy, but I wasn’t going down without a fight. I held out my beer to Tucker, and he took it to hold for me. I gave him a pleading look to save me, but he only shrugged and took a drink, ready for the inevitable.
We made our way back to the tiny two-stall bathroom, and I cringed when I saw how disgustingly filthy it was. I’ve seen poor, and this wasn’t it. It was downright lazy.
Sarah primped herself in front of the mirror as I watched, and it didn’t take long for her to casually bring up Eric.
“Eric seems like he’s in a good mood.”
“Yeah. He’s having a good time.” Anyone with a pulse could spot Sarah and Eric’s attraction to each another, but now she’d promised herself to Derek. I knew she thought her flirting was harmless, whereas to Eric it was anything but that.
“What’s with Donna tonight? She seems different.”
“She’s actually making an effort. It’s really nice.”
“An effort to get laid,” she mumbled and dropped the subject, but I could hear the bitterness in her words. “You guys getting rooms after this? I’m dying to sleep in a real bed for once.”
Wrapping myself in a fluffy comforter and having room to roll around seemed like heaven.
“I hope so. I’ll say something to Tucker.”
“Can’t wait.” She was all smiles as she turned to leave the bathroom. Part of me wanted to stop her and tell her how Eric felt about her, but I let her walk out, following behind her. I couldn’t mess up such a happy night for her. I had to trust she knew what was best for her own life. Even if she didn’t, it was a lesson in life she was meant to learn.
I tried to plaster a realistic smile on my face as I walked over to the pool tables, but I felt like I was being ripped in two. I wanted to do what was best for both of my friends, but it just no longer felt possible. Someone was going to end up getting hurt.
I was surprised to see Eric leaning over behind Donna and guiding her on her next shot at pool. I smiled at Tucker, and he returned the gesture, holding out his arm for me. I slipped under it, snuggling into his side as we watched them play. I took my beer from Tucker’s hand and took a little drink.
“They did two rounds of shots while you were gone,” he said quietly into my ear before kissing my earlobe. I closed my eyes, savoring his sweet gesture. Tonight was about living in the moment, and I missed that.
“We should get a room tonight.” I looked him in the eye to gauge his response. His eyes fell to my lips, and I could feel the electricity pulse between us. I’d missed this feeling, the thought of him touching me. And suddenly, all I could think about were his hands on my skin. He glanced over at Eric and Donna. They were laughing as she hit the cue ball and it spun and touched nothing.
“I’ll talk to them. At least something good can come out of this night.” He pulled my face to his and kissed me softly, but there was nothing innocent about the way his lips pressed against mine. I smiled, forgetting all of the chaos that brewed around us. Things between us were right, even when the world was crumbling around us.
Donna yelled and her arms wrapped around Eric. I could tell by the way his hand slid down her back that they were actually connecting. Maybe he wouldn’t react too badly to Sarah’s news if he really felt like there could be something between him and Donna. . . .
As the night began to wind down and everyone seemed to be losing their spunk, Tucker brought up the idea of getting rooms at a hotel. Donna was apprehensive, but she was outnumbered and conceded fairly easily.
Donna went off to use the ladies’ room befor
e we left, and I used the opportunity to talk to Eric and see how the plan was working.
“You and Donna seem pretty cozy,” I said.
“She’s all right.” He finished off the last of his warm beer, making a face at its bitter taste.
“Maybe you guys could room together,” I suggested, and he looked over at me, rolling his eyes.
“Is that what all this has been about? You’re trying to get me to hook up with her? Why? She’s been nothing but mean to you this whole trip.”
I shrugged. I had no good reason to help Donna; I’d just hoped it would give us all a chance to become friends. But really I just wanted to see Eric happy. Filth was saying their good-byes and walking out of the bar. Eric’s eyes followed them.
“It would just be good to see the both of you let go and have some fun,” I said.
His gaze went back to me, and he nodded once but didn’t say anything back.
20
THIS IS REALLY nice.” I looked around the hotel room. Everything was white, floor to ceiling. The bed was covered in a dozen fluffy pillows, and the lamp next to it was covered in white feathers. “Like stepping inside a cloud.”
Tucker walked up behind me and pressed himself against my back as his arms looped around my waist.
“I was thinking this is more like Heaven.” He placed a small kiss on my neck. A smile spread across my face, and I couldn’t have agreed more with him. We hadn’t had a night alone during the entire tour. I turned around in his arms to face him, his hands pressed against my lower back, holding me against him as I placed my hands on his chest.
“I don’t know . . .” I had no idea what I was trying to say. I had put off being intimate with Tucker for so long that now I was nervous.
“It’s just you and me tonight. We can do whatever you want. We can stay up all night and talk, we can play a game, we can write music. . . . It doesn’t matter as long as we’re together.”
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