by Scott Pape
Kids and tweens: The shopping spree
When you’re next walking around the supermarket, ask your kids, ‘What can we buy hungry people?’
Here’s some advice from Foodbank:
Encourage your kids to bring along some money from their Give Jar so they can buy food with their own money, and then on the way home you can drop it off.
Example:
Your six-year-old daughter goes to the supermarket with you and buys tins of soup and baked beans with the money in her Give Jar.
On the way home you drop it off at the local Foodbank warehouse (or your local community charity that distributes food in your area. You can find their contact details from your local council).
The lady at the front desk sees you both walking in with the box of food.
She springs out of her chair, shakes your daughter’s hand, and says:
‘What a kind girl you are! You’ve helped a lot of hungry children. Thank you so much!’
Your child may remember this for the rest of her life.
Tweens and teens: Volunteer in their local community
The previous two options are great for younger kids. Yet to check off the Barefoot Ten, your kids need to ‘have actually volunteered in their local community by the time they leave home’.
Thankfully, there are plenty of ways to do that. For example, your local council may have a program (like a casserole club) where you prepare and share a meal with a vulnerable member of society, such as an old person living alone.
Alternatively they could visit an aged-care home and bake a birthday cake for someone whose family is all gone—like Jack. There are literally dozens of options here, so you should get in touch with your local council or local aged-care home to see what opportunities your kids have to volunteer.
And because we’ve spoken about Foodbank, and because I believe in that organisation, they could also choose to work with Foodbank. Check out Foodbank’s website at foodbank.org.au for more information.
Everything you wanted to know about breaking the brat in one page
My kids are pretty bratty, will this actually work?
Yes. And it’s not just me saying that.
A researcher called Tim Kasser did a study called the ‘Materialism Intervention’. He picked a group of spoilt kids and got them to keep a ‘give jar’, donate to people who needed it, and do some volunteer work. And he also set up a control group of kids who did none of these things.
His research found that kids who had the intervention showed sustained increases in self-esteem over time, whereas their counterparts in the control group experienced decreases in self-esteem.
And the best part is, it lasted: 10 months after the initial study, those same bratty kids reported that their wellbeing was still improving.
Do I have to give food?
Let me be clear: I’m not trying to be an activist, or to tell you that you have to get your kids to give food. This is about teaching your kids a life lesson—by using the money in their Give Jar. Donating food happens to be an effective way to do this, as all kids understand hunger. But if you’d prefer your family to volunteer for or donate to a different cause, go ahead.
Should I give to homeless people on the street when I’m with my kids?
I do. It’s not really about the person begging (or what he spends my coins on); it’s about my kids.
My boys are being raised in a little country town, so they really notice it when we head into the city. And I’ve seen them look at a homeless person, then look at me to see if I’ll ignore someone who’s obviously hurting.
It’s also why I end up buying multiple copies of The Big Issue when we’re walking downtown. We get to talk to the sellers and learn a little bit about their lives. Sometimes they explain they were homeless but are now getting back on their feet. Everyone needs some kindness.
The ultimate family legends
We all have ‘stories’ we tell ourselves about what sort of people we are:
We’re hard workers. We don’t waste money. We barrack for Collingwood (only joking).
Most of the time these are unspoken . . . and our kids pick up on them subconsciously. Yet you can also choose to purposefully create these stories.
So this Money Meal, that’s what you’re going to start doing.
Depending on your kids’ ages, you’re going to pick one of the three options for ‘breaking the brat’, and do it as a family.
Yes, you’ll get to check off the fourth challenge from the Barefoot Ten. But more importantly, you’ll be creating a new story: ‘In our family, we do kind things.’
And I guarantee you the effects will stick with your child for a long time.
Money Meal ‘shopping list’
•Your kids’ Give Jars
•Food from your pantry
•Make a call to your local council, aged-care home, or Foodbank and ask about volunteering options.
BAREFOOT MONEY MEAL
THE BRAT BUSTER
Put your kids’ Give Jars on the table. Then explain the problem: one in five kids in their class turns up hungry.
Remind them what they’re like when they’re ‘hangry’. Explain that this week they’re going to do something about it.
ENTRÉE:
Play the Family Legends game:
Do you know . . .
•when we needed to accept help from others?
•what we did to help others when we were kids?
•why we give to homeless people in the streets?
MAIN COURSE:
Explain the three options (see page):
1.Pantry giveaway: Search for food that’s already in the pantry, and donate it.
2.Shopping spree: Go shopping with the contents of their Give Jar to buy their own food to donate.
3.Volunteering: Give some time to Foodbank, or volunteer within your local community.
Together with your kids, pick an age-appropriate activity to do.
DESSERT:
Do payday (three minutes is all it takes!).
Everyone pitches in and does the dishes.
Busted!
Congratulations on breaking the brat!
Now that you’ve done this Money Meal, you’re probably surprised at how well it went down . . . and how much your kids loved it.
The secret is that you already laid the groundwork for success back in Part I, when you made paying into their Give Jar a weekly habit.
The science shows that the simple habit of maintaining a give jar—used to fund a deliberate act of kindness (like you did in this chapter)—has a powerful, lasting, and brat-breaking effect.
Yet you don’t have to stop at this Money Meal. And truth be told, you’ll probably find (like many parents) that your kids are the ones who want to keep it going. That’s because kindness is addictive—and it can grow into a lifelong habit, that’ll keep your kids centered and happy.
But we’ll leave the altruism to them for now. It’s your turn to be a little selfish—and in the next chapter I’m instead going to show you how to blatantly profit from your kids’ hard work . . . and score the laziest $100 you ever earned!
‘My 14-year-old has saved $1500 and donated many times to charity’
Sophia McLean, Sydney, NSW
Twelve years ago my husband and I led a very materialistic life.
We had a big house in Bundaberg that was filled with stuff. I was a complete buy-anything-whenever-I-want sort of person. At one point I had 150 pairs of shoes!
Growing up in that sort of environment, our son picked up on our attitudes. We would buy him anything he asked for, and even from an early age he got used to getting whatever he wanted.
Then came the day my husband left me.
Suddenly my world was turned upside down. We could no longer afford to keep up our decadent lifestyle. But despite my circumstances changing, my spending mentality didn’t change right away—and neither did my son’s materialistic attitude. In fact, it lasted for years.
<
br /> Thankfully, my best friend introduced me to Barefoot, who taught me to completely change how I thought about money and debt.
I decided I wanted my son to learn these lessons along with me.
One of the first steps was setting him up with three moneyboxes—one for saving, one for spending and one for giving—and he had to split his money into each whenever he got paid. He has now saved $1500, and he has donated many times to charity.
Perhaps the most poignant moment was the 2011 Bundaberg floods when he was six years old. He saw first-hand families and friends lose everything, and donated all he had to the relief fund. The lady over the counter made such a big deal of it when he handed over his moneybox. That moment had a huge impact on him.
Now, at 14 years old, he is saving up to go to Borneo so he can volunteer his time working in a local village. When I look at him now, I see a thoughtful, generous, kind young man—and I couldn’t be prouder.
The Lazy $100 Challenge
Imagine that I’m standing right in front of you.
I’m fanning your face with a bunch of $50 notes.
And you’re wondering why I’m treating you like some exotic dancer, when I lean over and whisper to you:
‘If you spend 45 minutes on the internet with me, I’ll give you $540. Nothing kinky.’
And if you’re a dinky-di Aussie you’ll say . . . ‘nah’.
That’s because it’s very un-Australian to be smart with your money.
Aussies pay a staggering $11.6 billion in ‘lazy tax’ each year by not shopping around for better deals on household expenses, according to a 2016 study by the Queensland University of Technology.
The research found that, while 50 per cent of Aussies had seriously considered switching providers, less than 25 per cent actually got off their couch, dusted the Doritos off their laps, and did something about it.
Truth be told, I’m as laid-back as a banana lounge, so today I’m going to show you how to be . . . even lazier?
Yes, in this chapter I’m going to help you save thousands of dollars a year without you having to lift a pinky. Even better, at the same time you’ll be teaching your teens lifelong lessons that will boost their confidence.
But that’s not all. In this chapter I’m also going to:
•Fight the ‘lazy tax’ with the moodiest, mouthiest force on the planet: your teenager.
•Show you how to get a special ‘parent discount’ every time you stop for petrol.
•Reveal how to save 25 per cent on your electricity bill and get your teen to use less power.
So go on, recline on your La-Z-Boy, grab a bag of Doritos bigger than your head, and chillax while I potentially save you thousands of dollars and propel you to parent of the year.
That winning feeling
Managing your money is all about confidence.
So in my last book I intentionally built up people’s financial confidence by having them go on Barefoot Date Nights, and showed them how to score quick, incredibly valuable wins.
People went out and changed their bank accounts. They reviewed their super. They began investing. All with a beer in their hand.
It was a game changer for a lot of people. For perhaps the first time in their lives, they set up bank accounts that didn’t suck, and they said to themselves: ‘I just switched to a zero-fee, high-interest-earning bank account . . . I made a smart financial decision. This is great!’
Some hadn’t had that feeling for years . . . some had never experienced it. Yet when you rebuild someone’s financial confidence, amazing things happen.
And it’s the same for your kids.
I want your kids to have that winning feeling before they leave home. In fact, I want them to have those wins again and again, so it becomes part of their identity.
And like all good brainwashing, you can start it at a very young age.
Let me explain.
Little kids: ‘Turn off the lights!’
If there’s one saying that reminds me of my childhood, it’s this:
‘Do you think we run a power factory?’
My parents would say this over and over as they huffed around behind me switching off lights in the hall.
(Come to think of it, they really should have run a power factory—if they had they’d be loaded today.)
According to Choice, each year Australians spend $1.2 billion more than they should on power, and, despite the fact that most of our country is a giant quarry, we have some of the highest power bills on the planet.
Crazy.
Now, little kids don’t really get the concept of negotiating a cheaper deal—but it’s never too early to start teaching them the importance of saving money.
And if there’s anything little kids love, it’s to get one up on their parents (and older siblings).
So we’re going to take advantage of that . . . and give them a responsibility they’ll love: they can become the ‘light monitor’.
Basically, it’s their job to walk around and turn off the lights when they’re not in use.
Of course, it doesn’t just have to be lights. You can also expand this role to turning off unnecessary heating or air conditioning, closing doors when the aircon is on, or turning off leaky taps.
Yes, it saves you money . . . but it also teaches your kids’ highly impressionable brains a few important lessons: that electricity isn’t free, that saving money is important, and that they’re expected to contribute to the effort (oh, and it’s good for the planet).
And if you want, this can even be one of the jobs that your kids earn pocket money for.
Tweens: The petrol price game
My family and I live in the country, so by default we spend a lot of time in the car . . .
With three kids under the age of five.
If you’re a parent, you know how painful that is.
‘I spy with my little eye, something beginning with T,’ sings my five-year-old from the back seat.
‘Is it a . . . tree?’
‘Yes!’
Then he starts again: ‘I spy with my little eye, something beginning with . . . T.’
‘It’s a tree again, isn’t it?’
‘Yes!’
There’s only so many times you can play this game before you want to swerve into oncoming traffic.
So instead I created the petrol price game, where the kids are always on the lookout to find the cheapest petrol prices. Of course, right now my kids are too young to really get the idea . . . they simply call out the numbers that they see on the petrol boards. However, in time this will be a sure-fire winner . . . and if you have tweens, you can put it into place right away.
After all, it works for you, because you score cheap petrol.
And it works for the kids, because they’ll understand that prices are constantly changing, and that the way to save money is by buying up when prices are low. And it trains them to always be on the lookout for lower prices. Plus it’s fun!
The rules are simple: whoever can find the cheapest petrol scores something yummy* when you fill up.
* Subject to Mum’s discretion.
Teens: The Lazy $100 Challenge
Okay, so we’ve done lights and petrol. Now let’s set a spark to the flame.
The guts of this chapter, and this Barefoot Ten challenge, is for your teen to . . . ‘save you at least $100 on your household bills by negotiating a better deal’.
Here’s how we’re going to do it. You’re going to be lazy each time you get any of the following bills:
•electricity
•gas
•phone and internet
•car and home insurance.
How? You’re simply going to hand it to your teen, and challenge them to negotiate you a better deal.
And that’s it! Job done! Grab a beer!
Yeah, nah.
Your teen will probably need some coaxing and coaching, so walk them through these steps.
Step 1: Whet their appetite
The average household is paying thousands of dollars in ‘lazy tax’.
Which means nothing to your teen . . . until you give them a good reason to get interested: you’ll pay them a commission for every dollar they can save you!
You could decide to split the bounty down the middle—so if they can save you $500 a year on your power bill (the average saving if you switch, according to the Australian Energy Market Commission), they’ll earn $250.
Put that in terms that your teen can understand: they could earn more in half an hour of searching on Google than they could in a month of flipping burgers.
How’s that for motivation?
Step 2: Print out your bill
Circle your account number, the bill amount and the time period. Then write down how long you’ve been a loyal customer (guesstimate if you have to).
Step 3: Get them to do some quick research
Give the bill to your teen and have them do a quick search online to find a cheaper deal.
I’d start with your electricity bill, because there can be some good savings there.
Can you switch your electricity retailer?
Yes, if you live in New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia or South East Queensland.
No, if you live in Tasmania, the Northern Territory, or most parts of Western Australia (in which case you may still be able to save on your gas bill instead).
But it’s not as straightforward as you’d think.
I typed ‘cheap power’ into Google and started dutifully scrolling through the 136 000 000 results it served up. The top pages were power comparison sites, and they reminded me of walking through a market in Bali:
‘Hey mister! You want free power?’*
‘Cheap price, lady!’*
‘Two dollar gas for you!’*
* Just sign up for a horribly confusing bait-and-switch plan that will tempt you with low prices but see you being charged an average $278 more for power the year after your deal expires.