by Mandy Rosko
Sixty-nine. One more thing she could remember from her past life…but had she done it before? She wasn't sure, but she was very sure she would love to try it out with the sexy and stoic guard.
The sound of glassware and porcelain clanking and clinking drew her attention out of her sexy daydream. She'd made her way down to the kitchen.
Was the staff still working? Trisha paused long enough to smell a familiar odor and breath a heavy sigh of relief. She recognized the fishy smell. It wasn't the same scent Cindy had. This was the sort of fish that purposely didn't shower as much as he was supposed to, even after he'd been told that he needed to do better at masking his odor. He'd never blend into the normal human world smelling like that.
He also wouldn't make many friends in the shifter world. It made the others lose their appetite.
Trisha peeked around the corner and realized he was as aware of her as she was of him. Seeing TJ gave her a small feeling of dismay.
She wasn't the first of them to sneak out of their dorms at night, and all the food in front of him also proved that she wouldn't need to steal midnight snacks.
In fact, she saw now that there were two staff members working the counters and a few late-night study students in other areas of the cafeteria.
No fun at all.
Trisha realized that TJ had waved at her, and she waved back before moving on. As an ogre fish, his large, bulbous forehead and underbite with long, needle teeth was the sort of sight that would give a hardened criminal nightmares. His intimidating features were a constant reminder of her own horn, which she found herself often forgetting about.
They all had features they'd need to learn to hide before they ever were allowed to leave FUCN'A.
TJ also stood as a stark reminder that there were worse things in the world than being able to turn into a raccoon with a horn jutting out of her forehead. She'd even take the strange need she had to dig around in trashcans when no one was around over the sight and smell of poor TJ.
At least he's let me forget about the Warren fantasy. And she planned to keep it that way.
Eventually, she found herself closing in on the front doors.
By the time she was able to consider the ramifications of what she was about to do—surely there were cameras and people watching the entrance of the place!—the doors opened. No alarms sounded, and no one rushed to yank her back to bed at gunpoint.
It was just her and the gentle breeze, which felt nice and cool against her face.
Weird. She would've thought this place would actually lock their doors.
But maybe she just thought too much.
Who the hell would wanna break into a place like this? Maybe there were people watching her, but they didn't perceive her as a threat and didn't think there was anything wrong with someone taking a walk out the front doors.
Whatever the reason, she wasn't about to question it too much. Freedom called, and Trisha needed to get outside.
Like really. More than she would've thought she needed because the instant her bare feet touched the stone walkway outside, it was as though the spell had been lifted from her head.
This was not the same thing as being given designated exercise time with the others. This was the ability to be by herself. Alone and outdoors like a normal person with the cool air on her face and the only sounds around her the crickets in the dark.
She decided to forget her need to break in and steal something from somewhere because the sight of the black sky filled with twinkling stars called to her.
There hadn't been much opportunity to see the stars when she'd been in her cell with the others. Looking up at them now, she had to wonder how often she'd looked up like that in her life before she was taken.
Trisha got the impression it wasn't very often. This was too pretty. She could never forget a sight like this.
A stone bench called her to sit. She did, hardly taking her eyes off the twinkling lights above her head. In a darkened window, she caught sight of herself. Her horn, annoying as it was, kind of looked pretty in this lighting. It shimmered, reflecting some of the starlight, and it made her wonder why she didn't live in a world that could accept her for what she was.
A tiny sound caught her attention. It was subtle, no more than the gentle sound of gravel being brushed over, followed by grass bending. It was stronger than wind, though, and Trisha turned toward it in time to make out a shape.
She let out a tiny shriek and brought her legs up onto the bench, out of the way of the snake that neared her.
Heart thudding, she stared at it. Her first thought was in wondering how in the hell she was able to hear something like that coming near her in the first place. Then she remembered her new shifter abilities, which led her to consider that the snake might be another shifter.
She didn't want to be rude. "Hi, are you...a person?"
Stupid thing to ask. If it was a person, it was a rude thing to ask, and if it was an actual snake, then it wouldn't be able to answer her.
In response, the snake stared at her with beady eyes, tongue darting out and flicking at her.
She exhaled hard.
Right. This was going to take some getting used to. Not every animal she came across was going to be a shifter.
It wigged her out a little, to know that she wouldn't be able to tell.
Apparently, other shifters couldn't even tell the difference at all times, which was why they needed their meat to come from official sources to guarantee they weren't eating other people.
They had an acronym for it—they seemed to have an acronym for everything—but she couldn't remember what it was off the top of her head, and the snake was still staring at her, as though it was waiting for something.
She couldn't see the rest of the snake's body, tail, whatever, but the head looked big enough, and Trisha wasn't willing to let her feet down off the stone bench just yet. It might not be a person, but what if it wasn't a harmless snake, either? She wasn't exactly wearing shoes, and she didn't feel like getting bitten.
She carefully slid her feet on the other side of the bench, keeping her eyes on the creature. "Uh, maybe I'll just get out of here—"
"What are you doing here?"
The hand that grabbed her shoulder, coupled with how tense she'd been at the sight of the snake, made her scream embarrassingly loud even as she raked her nails across Warren's perfect jaw and drew blood.
4
The warm sting on his face had Warren stopping in his tracks. He didn't move for a minute. He stared down at the woman, glad he was hit by a hand and not the pointy horn that could have stabbed him right through the throat.
He saw the slow, horrified realization twist Trisha's face.
"Oh, my God! I am so sorry!"
He growled, reaching his fingers up and touching the blood that welled in the slices she'd made. Glancing down, he saw her claws. Little claws, appropriate for a raccoon, but sharp as hell and certainly able to do enough damage.
He didn't need a mirror to know it looked bad.
Trisha yanked herself away from him, holding on to herself as though she was the one who had been hurt. "I...I didn't mean to do that."
"It's fine," he said through clenched teeth. It fucking hurt was what it was, but he wasn't going to let her know that. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that." Though he'd tried to be loud. He'd called out her name before finally reaching her and taking her shoulder in hand.
"What were you looking at anyway?" Whatever she was fixated on had taken all her attention and left her unaware of what was going on around her.
"I... Wait, there's a snake over there."
"A snake?" He glanced over the side of the bench, searching in the grass and gravel for what she was talking about. It hadn't been that long ago that the Academy had some run-ins with some snake bastards up to no good. On the other hand, there were plenty of non-sentient snakes natural to the area, and sighting one on campus wouldn't exactly be uncommon, but still. "What did it look like?"
"I...I don't know, it was just a snake. Your face, I am so sorry. I swear I didn't mean to do that."
"I said not to worry about it."
"But you're bleeding all over yourself."
He glanced down again. She still had her claws out, as if she couldn't retract them. This might be a problem.
"I've taken worse than this, and it will heal just fine by tomorrow. You'll barely see there was a wound there in the first place. Trust me. I'm a wolf. It doesn't even hurt."
Which was a lie, but she was new to being a shifter, and she didn't need to know that the marks on his face were on fire and he really wanted to get a cold rag on them to clean them up right now.
That seemed to make her feel a little better, but her claws didn't turn back into normal fingernails, and she still had that aura of fearful shame around her shoulders. "If you say so."
Warren couldn't forget the mention of the snake, though. If there was some nefarious bugger slithering around, he should find out about it and report it to Director Cooper immediately. The mention was enough to make him do a little sniffing around.
He didn't quite get his nose down into the dirt, but it was close enough, and he could definitely pick up the scent of something reptilian that had been there recently.
"You're right, there was a snake here."
"Was it a person snake or a snake-snake?"
He smiled, unable to help it at her innocent description, as he stood straight. "I can't really say, but either way, you should come back inside."
He reached his hand out for her. She backed away instantly.
"You won't hurt me."
She narrowed her eyes. "I know that!" She didn't sound like she knew it. She sounded embarrassed. "I was just... I want to be outside is all."
He didn't understand. "You're allowed outside whenever you please. There's exercise time, and the grounds are open to you whenever you have time to spare."
"That's...not the same as this." She gestured around her.
Warren pressed his lips together, his brain working to find an answer to this particular puzzle. He didn't think it was the blood on his face that was keeping her away from him now, and he didn't sense a lie in what she said.
He looked up and around.
The stars? Really?
Or something else more precious to a person who had been locked away and experimented on?
"I don't feel great about leaving you out here by yourself." He didn't elaborate his suspicions about the snake to her. There was no reason to give her something to be scared about.
Her shoulders sagged. "Oh."
"But if you want to be alone, on your terms, and take in the air, I'll go and stand over there."
He pointed to where the path bent around a corner. She wouldn't see too much of him around the rose bushes, but he would be able to see her, so he hoped that would be enough for her to feel as though she was in control of this particular isolation that she wanted.
"You'll watch me from over there?"
"I will keep you safe from over there. If the snake comes back, you can let me know."
She pressed her lips together. Under the starlight, the horn in the middle of her head seemed to glow.
She was so damn beautiful.
He wasn't supposed to notice something like that. She'd been through so much already. Rescued from that hellhole right under their noses, put through years' worth of torture, and having her memory erased. She needed to focus on herself. She needed this time to look up at the stars and feel normal.
She didn't need a grumpy wolf like him hitting on her. He didn't so much as want her to suspect that he thought she was as beautiful as she was.
So unprofessional. He hated that he was thinking this at all.
Even while she bit her lower lip, there was something about her that made his inner wolf howl.
"You might as well stick around where I can see you." She played with her nails. They were slowly turning back into a woman's fingernails instead of claws. "I think it will be just weird if you're off to the side like that. Makes me feel like I'm back in quarantine or something."
He could have kicked himself. Of course, she would think that. He couldn't seem to help her feel normal without reminding her of what had happened.
"Then, I'll stand over there instead." He nodded just off to the side, indicating a spot on the grass where he could keep watch while staying away.
Away so the floral scent of her wouldn't make his head feel so puffy.
Like he wanted to do something massively illogical.
This damned woman seemed determined to thwart his attempts at every turn to keep his distance, however.
"You might as well just sit on the bench with me. Stop acting like I've got something contagious." She looked up at him. Even as she still picked at her nails, there was something accusing in her eyes that got him right in the stomach.
Well, if she was going to twist his arm about it.
He sat. A quick glance around for the snake revealed nothing. Maybe it really was just a garden snake, but he forgot all about it when she sat next to him. There was more than enough space between them that they could both rest their hands without touching each other.
All the same, the proximity to her while she took in the night sky felt intimate.
He was a hired contractor with a mission to protect Trisha and the others. There was nothing in his job description about becoming their friend. He didn't think there was anything wrong with it. In fact, it probably would be good for them to make friends, but Warren didn't see himself as a quality friend. He was hardened to the world. People like Trish needed friends who were optimistic about the world, who could see the endless possibilities that awaited them.
Though, as he sat on the bench with Trisha and looked at the sky, his normally pessimistic mind started to realize that Trisha had as many possibilities as there were stars up there.
He snuck a glance at her. The moonlight and starlight shined on her cheeks, and she had an innocent expression on her face. He knew she was nearer to thirty, but right then, she could have been a child discovering the heavens for the first time.
Which made all his thoughts of wanting to protect her, care for her, and show her all sorts of new things, even more inappropriate. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to get up and walk away.
He didn't want to hurt her feelings. That was a new one considering he never really cared about anyone's feelings.
Warren cleared his throat and pulled his hands off the stone. Resting his elbows on his knees, he clasped his hands together. He tried to be aware of everything around them, to make some sort of effort to give her privacy while being so close.
Of course, it was impossible. Privacy wasn't even the thing he was trying to give to her.
He just didn't want to be caught staring.
The soft glow to her horn prevented that. Pink lips pulled up in a soft smile that seemed shyer than anything. Her eyes didn't sell it either.
"Give it to me straight." She reached a delicate hand up and tapped at the horn. "On a scale of one to freaky, how abnormal is this in the shifter world?"
He didn't want to answer that. How was he supposed to answer that? Be truthful, and make her feel like more of an outsider in this new world she found herself in?
"It's not freaky. It is unusual, however." It was the best answer he could come up with, and yet, it still seemed weak.
Trisha dropped her hand. "Do you think I will ever be able to shift it away?"
"You mean hide it?"
She bowed her head just a little. "Exactly. Control it. Everyone seems to carry over something of the animal inside them, but this is different. A horn isn't a natural part of a raccoon, so maybe I'll never be able to control it like I can my animal. Me and the other strays might just have to live like this forever."
Warren winced. "Don't call yourself that."
Was it something she picked up from the other patients? Or was it something the lab rats who
had been experimenting on her had called her? Either way, he didn't like it. He didn't want her to insult herself.
In response, she smiled softly.
"I suppose I could always walk around normally. If anybody asks me about it, I could say it's a very decorative headband. A very crooked headband. Or that I just came from a costume party. That's an option, too, I suppose."
"You're not the first person something like this has happened to. There have been others. We've helped them. It doesn't have to destroy the rest of your life."
She exhaled deeply, indicating how much she believed him. "We've all heard about the people who were messed with so badly that they were never the same again." She went back to picking at her nails, though she seemed to be trying to smile. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, though."
He only wished he could do more.
"We will make this easier for you. I don't know what we can do about that." He glanced at her horn. "Maybe you could have it removed. I don't know. Either way...we will take care of you." He had almost said that he would take care of her. Warren was glad he'd caught himself. She was a patient and a brand-new shifter. Sitting next to her like this was already too much. He wasn't even supposed to be there that night.
Christ, if only his date hadn't bailed at the last minute, he would be getting laid and forgetting all about this, all about her.
Just sitting next to her under the starlight was enough to make him almost promise her those same stars up above.
Angry with himself, he tried to be honest.
"Chances are, you're never going to feel normal again. At least what the humans would consider normal. You can still fit in, though."
Her face twisted. "I doubt that. I think normal went out the window a long time ago."
He was getting it wrong here. Warren could feel it in the air between them. He was trying to make her feel better, but he could tell he was just making it worse, and he didn't know how to fix it.