“I don’t understand.”
“No, but you deserve to. Can we sit down and talk?”
So much for hostess of the year. “Of course,” she said quickly, and led him into the front room, turning on lights as she went and blowing out the ridiculous candles she’d placed everywhere. They sat on the sofa, facing each other. If he noticed the soft, sax-heavy music oozing from the sound system or the iced bottle of champagne and duo of flutes on the end table, he didn’t comment. Instead he took her hand in his and stared into her eyes. “I didn’t ask to see you tonight because I expected for us to have sex. I’m…” He exhaled and looked away. “This is harder than I imagined.”
She put a hand on his arm. “You can tell me anything.”
His eyes met hers again. “I’m gay.”
Gay? Roger was gay? Her mind went blank, and then replayed a montage of scenes that took on new and completely obvious meaning. She remembered how wistfully he’d spoken about his friend from New York the evening she’d removed his splinter, and how uncomfortable he’d been introducing Doug at Slap & Tickle. Lord, she’d been so blind.
“You and Doug?”
He nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. I thought you figured it out the night you saw us together at Slap & Tickle. Doug said no, but I was paranoid. We both realized Tyler knew, and I figured he’d out me, though I shouldn’t have. He’s not that kind of person. When you and I spoke the next morning at Jiffy Java, your responses made me think you knew. That’s why I asked if we could get together and talk. I wanted to explain—to tell you I’m trying really hard to keep my orientation private. Hardly anyone here knows.”
“But…Melody?”
Roger offered a pained smile. “Yes, she knows. Knew before I did, actually. She asked me a couple years ago if maybe I was gay. I didn’t want to be, and I didn’t want to let her go, so I told her no. But when I moved home earlier this year, I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore. I missed Doug so much, even though we never…I mean, I was engaged to Melody and I always honored our commitment, in body if not in heart. She saw my misery, though, and for obvious reasons our relationship wasn’t exactly her dream come true either. So I finally opened up to her about everything. We talked, cried, promised we’d always be friends, and then we called off our engagement.”
His eyes glistened as he talked, and Ellie got an instant picture of how painful the last few months had been for him. And Melody. God, she owed Melody a huge apology for misunderstanding her reaction. All she’d been trying to do was prevent Ellie from embarrassing herself.
This is what you get for eavesdropping, her conscience chimed in, reminding her why she’d hatched the whole insane plan in the first place. “When I got back into town, one of the first things I heard, well, overheard technically, was that you two broke up because you wanted a high-adventure sex life and Melody didn’t.”
“Yeah, the story was Mel’s idea. We both knew the news of our broken engagement would cause a rustle in the local grapevine. After a ten-year engagement, an explanation like ‘It just didn’t work out’ doesn’t quite satisfy people. She thought spreading the rumor about my wild, insatiable sexual appetites would distract the rumor mill and help me keep the real reason under wraps. I’m truly sorry, Ellie. I never dreamed you had any romantic interest in me, or I would have been honest with you right away.”
“Don’t apologize. I had the truth staring me in the face and chose not to see it because I was too busy chasing a fairy tale.”
“Now I don’t understand.”
“It’s hard to explain, even to myself, but I created an idealized image of you in my mind, based strictly on my needs, and I wouldn’t let little things like reality intrude. I thought if you and I fell in love, we’d live happily ever after and…poof…all the frustrations and disappointments in my life would magically disappear. You come from such a perfect, loving family, and I wanted to be part of one so badly, I put together an elaborate scheme to win you. I tried to change myself into your fantasy woman.”
“Sweetie.” He rubbed her arm. “My family isn’t perfect. We’re no prize. One of the reasons I’m paranoid about news of my being gay leaking is because I’m pretty sure Dad would have a coronary. Mom would go straight to Bluelick Baptist and pray. I’m too much of a coward to tell them the truth, but I’m too selfish to stay here pretending to be something I’m not. Instead, I’ll disappoint them by moving back to New York, and they’ll never understand why. They’ll think I rejected their love and everything they worked so hard to give me, when in reality, I don’t deserve it.”
She took his hands and waited until his tortured eyes locked on hers. “You deserve the things they want to give you, including their love. You’re a good son, a talented lawyer, and a compassionate person. But you’re also an adult, entitled to lead your own life. Lead it honestly and proudly. Tell your folks. Their reaction might surprise you. But more importantly, you’ll respect yourself.”
He blinked hard and swallowed. “You sound just like Melody.”
“Melody’s awfully smart.” Ellie squeezed his arm and then rose.
Roger rose as well and followed her to the front door. He paused at the threshold. “There’s something I’m curious about.”
“What’s that?”
“You thought Melody and I broke up because I wanted, as you put it, a high-adventure sex life, and you decided to turn yourself into the kind of woman who could deliver high adventure. I’m wondering exactly how you went about that?”
She winced. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy. I had a lot to learn.” Tyler’s sexy grin popped into her head.
“Was visiting Slap & Tickle with Tyler part of the learning curve, by any chance?”
Heat swept into her cheeks. “Yes. Poor Tyler. I made him give me lessons on how to drive a man wild.”
Roger’s eyes widened and then he fanned his face. “When you come up with a plan, you don’t mess around, do you? Go straight to the hottest guy in town and say, ‘Show me the ropes!’”
He looked so astounded and impressed she had to laugh. “Yeah, I’m a real class act.”
“Class-schmass. If I was single and could think of a way to convince Tyler to show me the ropes, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But, unfortunately, he’s not into me, so he’d find a charming way to turn me down, because under the cocky exterior, he’s a decent, fundamentally good guy.”
He was all of those things and much more. She couldn’t deny the truth anymore…she loved him. But Saturday night, when her feelings had bubbled to the surface, she’d run away like a scared little girl, hell-bent on chasing her fairy tale instead of taking a real-life risk on happily ever after.
“Interestingly,” Roger went on, “he didn’t turn you down, so I’m guessing he is into you.”
“I don’t know.” Making guesses about Tyler’s motives caused a flood of guilt and anxiety. She prayed his offer to talk still stood.
Roger grinned, a little mischievously. “He showed you the ropes, didn’t he?”
She couldn’t suppress a smile. “He sure did.”
“Now you’re just bragging, so I’m going to take off. Thanks for being so understanding. I hope we’re still friends.”
“Absolutely.” Framed by the doorway, she rose onto her tiptoes and hugged him. He hugged back, wrapping his big arms around her and pulling her close.
“Give me one of those ‘show me the ropes’ kisses, Sparky,” he whispered. “It’s the closest I’ll ever come to kissing Tyler.”
Laughing, she cupped Roger’s cheeks, stared into his magnificent blue eyes, and planted a big, fat kiss on his lips. Good-bye, handsome prince. He swept her into a dramatic dip. She squealed and held onto him.
He raised his head and he winked at her. “Wow. You’re one lucky woman. And something tells me if he plays his cards right, Tyler’s one lucky guy.”
An engine revved, interrupting her reply. Even from her upside-down vantage point in Roger’s arms, she could make out the blur of a motorcycle
racing away.
“Oh, shit.” Roger slowly straightened. “Mr. Lucky just raced off into the night. I think maybe he got the wrong idea. Want me to go after him and explain?”
Shit. Shit. Shit! She tamped down the panic threatening to choke her and shook her head. “No, I need to talk to him about…a lot of things. This is mine to fix.”
“Okay.” He touched her cheek lightly and then stepped away. “Let me know how things turn out. I’m rooting for you.”
“Same goes. I’m rooting for you, too, no matter what you decide to do.”
He smiled and headed out into the warm summer night. Inside the house, Beethoven’s Fifth sounded. With a final wave, she went in and answered the phone.
She didn’t usually get calls in the evening except from her service. The display, however, read “Unknown Number.” As soon as she picked up, a hesitant female voice said, “Dr. Swann?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“Hello, Dr. Swann. My name is Sharon Greene. I’m a friend of your father’s. I’m sorry to ambush you this way, but I need to let you know Lexington Memorial Hospital admitted him this evening after he became ill at our meeting.”
“Oh, God. Is he okay? What’s the diagnosis?” She cursed herself for not calling him yesterday. He probably wouldn’t have picked up, but still, she should have tried.
“I don’t know, Dr. Swann. He gave me your name and number before the paramedics took him away, and asked me to call you. Can you come?”
“I’m on my way.”
Chapter Seventeen
“Don’t try to figure women out, Ty,” Junior advised. “Not even your cute little doc. You’ll just end up with a migraine. Might as well ask me to kick you in the head. At least then you’d know why your head hurt.” Satisfied with this gem of wisdom, Junior tossed back the rest of his beer and then placed the empty bottle on the bar and signaled Earl for another.
Tyler rubbed a hand across his face. He already felt like he’d been kicked in the head. Had felt that way since the moment he’d seen Ellie and Roger in a lip-lock on her front porch. The image still burned in his mind; her, nearly naked and completely irresistible in a scrap of a red dress, and big, blond, muscle-bound Roger not resisting her.
“She’s not my cute little doc. I swung by her place this evening to see if she wanted to take a ride. I thought we’d go somewhere romantic and talk, but when I pulled up Roger was there and they were kissing like he’d just gotten home from war.” Jesus, he sounded like a hysterical schoolgirl. He picked up his beer and took a long drink.
“Roger Reynolds?” Junior’s eyebrows shot up. “Man, he gets around. I kinda thought he didn’t close the deal with Melody because he batted for the other team.”
“Me too, but apparently he switch-hits.”
“Now that’s just greedy.”
“I agree. Know what really pisses me off? He leaves town for ten years, comes back and ditches Melody first thing, and everybody looks at him like some fucking do-no-wrong golden boy. I live here my entire life, spend the better chunk of it trying to run a decent business, do some good where I can, and, sure, have a little fun here and there, and everybody sees me as an irresponsible troublemaker only out for a good time.”
Junior turned to look at him square on. “That’s not true, Ty.”
“Sure it is. Ask anybody.”
Earl Rawley stopped in front of them to deliver a fresh beer to Junior. “Hey Earl,” Junior said. “You think of Tyler as an irresponsible troublemaker?”
Earl frowned and sized him up. “Wouldn’t say so, no. Mighta said different when he was younger, but not since he’s been old enough to set foot in my establishment. He pays his tab in full, tips like a gentleman, holds his liquor fine. Never starts any trouble”—Earl aimed a hard look at Junior, and then shifted his attention back to Tyler—“but he’s quick to step in when stepping-in is called for. I wish I could say the same about all my regulars.” Earl punctuated his statement with another pointed look at Junior before snagging the empty bottle and walking off to serve another customer.
“See? Earl doesn’t think you’re an irresponsible troublemaker.”
“Earl likes me ’cause I settle my bill and don’t break up the place. Not exactly a ringing character endorsement.”
“Okay, fine. We’ll ask someone else. Hey, Red—”
“Christ, cut it out,” Tyler said quickly when Junior called out to Ginny, but Junior ignored him.
“C’mere, girl. I gotta question for you.”
Ginny slunk over, sleek as missile in a skintight red tank dress. Tyler immediately thought of Ellie plastered against Roger in her flirty red dress and gritted his teeth.
“Yes, boys?”
“It true you ladies think of Tyler here as only good for a one thing?”
Ginny stared at Tyler speculatively. “Well, Junior, I’m not speaking from firsthand experience, you understand, but I can confirm Ty’s rep as a first-class personal toy. They don’t call him Footlong Longfoot for nothing.”
“Awesome,” Tyler murmured. “Thanks.” He pushed his beer away and started to get up from the bar.
Ginny stopped him. “Shush up, I’m not done yet. Plenty of girls around here would love to tempt big, bad Tyler Longfoot into something more than a fast thrill, but for the longest time it was pretty obvious that’s all you wanted. Nobody minded. God knows you had some fun coming to you after growing up with Big Joe for a daddy.”
“Wow, I feel much better now, knowing women have been sleeping with me because they felt sorry for me.”
“Oh, please. Nobody slept with you out of pity. I’m just saying all the girls who climbed on your bike knew exactly what kind of ride to expect and decided to sit back and enjoy the scenery. You’re sexy as hell and could charm the pants off my eighty-year-old auntie, but you were always up-front about what you had in mind. You never made promises you didn’t intend to keep, and you never left any hard feelings behind when you eased out the door. But, alas”—she fluttered her eyelashes and sighed—“I fear those freewheeling days are over. More’s the shame ’cause I never got a ride.”
“Don’t give up so easy, Red,” Junior piped in before Tyler could give him the shut-the-fuck-up stare. “My boy’s still on the lookout for fast thrills.”
Ginny shook her head at Junior, and then gave Tyler a disconcerting look. “Men are so clueless sometimes. The only thrills this one’s interested in nowadays involve a certain diminutive doctor. See?” She swept Tyler’s hair off his forehead in an affectionate gesture he found oddly moving. “He’s got the shell-shocked eyes. We all knew it would happen one of these days, but still. If you listen closely, you can hear hearts breaking all across the county, because deep down, Tyler’s always been a keeper.”
“Thank you,” he said softly, truly overwhelmed.
She patted his cheek. “That, or because this idiot here shot your dick off.”
Beer sprayed from Junior’s nose as she walked away. “Jesus.” His eyes did a quick, nervous slide to Tyler’s. “Nobody in their right mind thinks I shot your dick off. You want me to spread the word your nickname still fits, I will. No problem.”
“Uh, no thanks. The less time people spend discussing my dick, the better.”
“Well, I can’t speak for anybody else around here, but to me, you’ve never been irresponsible or useless. You’re loyal. You stick by your friends and don’t hold a grudge, even when one does something crazy and stupid in a drunk, jealous fit. If Ellie can’t see your good qualities, you have to find a way to make her look harder.”
Tyler stared at his boots. Junior tended to look at his friends with kind eyes, but he was right about something. Tyler had been a lot of things in his life, but never a quitter. He wasn’t about to become one now, with Ellie.
…
“He should buy a lottery ticket,” the young, somewhat intense ER doctor told Ellie, “because luck was definitely on your father’s side tonight. Somebody called 9-1-1 right away, based on h
is lethargy, confusion and his complaints about fatigue and thirst. On top of poor diet and lack of attention to his blood sugar levels, he picked up a flu, and the combination brought on ketoacidosis. Thankfully, he’s responded to treatment. But if he doesn’t learn to manage his diabetes better, his luck’s going to run out, and one of these days he’ll end up in a coma.”
The hospital’s harsh white corridors, sharp, astringent smell, and pervasive atmosphere of controlled chaos usually didn’t rattle Ellie, but tonight the combination produced slippery waves of nausea. She concentrated on the doctor’s tired, gray eyes. “I know, Dr. Pendleton. We’re working on it.”
His eyes flashed with something close to sympathy. “I’m sure you’re doing all you can, Dr. Swann. He needs to work a little harder. I’m going to check on him one last time before I head home, and I’ll tell him the same things I just told you. After I’m done, you’re welcome to visit with him.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate…” What? Saving my dad’s life, caring enough to deliver a lecture to him when he’s ignored all mine? “I appreciate everything.”
His smile conveyed understanding. “No problem.” He started to turn away, then stopped and glanced back at her. “Oh, and his friend, Ms. Greene, is in the waiting room at the end of the hall. As she isn’t a spouse or relative, I wasn’t able to disclose much about your father’s condition. I’m sure she’d appreciate any details you’d care to share with her.”
Ellie hoped her face didn’t reflect her complete and utter surprise. Since when did her father have a friend decent enough to sit in a hospital waiting to hear his condition? She nodded and made her way to the waiting area, glad she’d taken three minutes to change out of the slutty red dress and into jeans and a T-shirt before she’d rushed to the hospital. In the waiting room she spotted an attractive auburn-haired woman who might have been anywhere between forty and fifty holding a Styrofoam cup and staring off into space.
“Ms. Greene?”
The woman turned. A weak smile touched her lips and she held out a pretty, manicured hand. “Yes. And you must be Dr. Swann. I’m sorry to meet you like this.”
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