by Rhoda Baxter
‘Why would he lie?’ Beth glared at him. ‘You’re just being a git because you never liked him.’
‘And you’re being a blinkered idiot.’ Hibs raised his hand to push his hair back but, spotting his gloves, lowered it again with a frustrated ugh. ‘Face facts, Beth. He’s using you. He used you before and he’s using you again. He treats you like crap and if you can’t see that, you’re even stupider than Roger thinks you are!’
Beth’s eyes widened. To his horror, they filled with tears. She made a choking noise and ran out of the room, tearing her lab coat off as she fled.
Hibs groaned and sank back onto his stool. He shouldn’t have said that. That made him almost as bad as Gordon. Shit. He’d spent months being the supportive friend all his reading said he needed to be; trying to help her rebuild the self-esteem that Gordon had taken away. Now he’d undone it all. He kicked the bench, making the jars rattle and hurting his foot. ‘Bollocks.’
Beth dried her face using the scratchy paper hand towel. Her face was all blotchy now and her eyes were puffy – she’d never managed to recover from tears gracefully. Her skin felt taut and dry but all she had at work was hand cream. That would have to do.
She went into the tea room, which was mercifully empty, to make herself a drink. As she waited for the kettle to boil, she reflected on why she felt so awful. She’d been called stupid before. Her father did it; Roger did it. Even Gordon sometimes liked to make out she was silly in a cute way. But Hibs had always, always told her she was better than she thought she was. Whenever she was at her lowest, Hibs was the one who believed in her. Now even he thought she was stupid.
The really annoying thing was that Hibs’s reasoning was … well … stupid. He didn’t know the first thing about love. This was a man who had managed to sleep with lots of women, but not be in a committed relationship for ten years. He wouldn’t recognise true love if it came and bit him on the backside. He couldn’t be expected to understand the feeling of completion she had when she was with Gordon. That she and Gordon were meant for each other. The few months of separation had turned out to be a good test for the strength of their relationship. Gordon had tried to be away from her and he’d come back. At some level, she’d always known he would. She thought about her brief temptation towards Hibs and felt guilty. Now that would have been really stupid.
She sighed and picked up her mug. If Hibs was going to be an idiot about her and Gordon, that was a shame. She’d just have to find a way to deal with it.
When she got back to the lab, Hibs was at the other end, carefully pipetting samples into a gel. On her bench she found a rectangle of blue paper towel stuck to the desk with autoclave tape. It read, ‘I’m sorry. I’m a total fuckwit. H’
Beth stared at it, for a moment unsure what to think. It was an apology. It didn’t change the facts, but it was an apology.
‘Am I forgiven?’
She turned to find him standing behind her, a sheepish expression on his face.
‘I shouldn’t have said that,’ he said.
‘No, you shouldn’t. Me and Gordon, that’s my business.’
‘You’re right. I felt, as your friend … Well, never mind. As you say. It’s none of my business.’ He didn’t meet her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, okay?’ Finally, he made eye contact. ‘Still friends?’
Beth smiled, surprised to find that she felt relieved. ‘Yes. Just don’t do it again.’
‘Scouts honour.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘You were never a boy scout.’
‘I was too. Not a very good one, mind. Couldn’t get my head round knots. And camping. Ugh.’
She grinned. ‘Wally.’
R U doing anything tonite? Dinner at mine? Anna
Hibs frowned. He had to be careful: he didn’t want Anna to think he was after anything more than a one-night stand.
I can’t. Am working + I don’t do commitment. Very sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.
Dur. I get that. So, do you fancy a shag or not? Dinner optional.
Hibs chuckled. He liked this girl. She was like a female version of him.
When you put it like that … Sure. Why not.
‘Texting your older woman again, are you?’ said Beth.
‘No.’ Hibs wondered if she knew that he’d spent the night with her housemate. He decided she didn’t. She was bound to be annoyed with him when she found out. Perhaps it was better to tell her now. ‘Beth—’
Beth’s mobile rang. To Hibs’s irritation, she held up a finger to tell him to hold that thought and answered it. Her features immediately changed to that insipid expression she always seemed to wear when Gordon was about.
‘Hello you.’ She turned her back to Hibs. ‘Sure. No, I’m not working tonight. Hibs is doing the night shift.’ She listened for a moment and said, ‘No, we’re running our experiments in tandem, so we’re covering for each other. I told you.’
Hibs tried to concentrate on what he was doing, but it was impossible not to earwig. He was sure Gordon wouldn’t like the idea of Beth working that closely with someone. Sure enough, Beth said, ‘It’s the only way we’ll get things done.’ At the end of the sentence, the change in volume told him she’d looked over her shoulder. ‘Can we talk about this some other time? I’m in the lab.’
She made arrangements to meet him and hung up.
‘Hot date?’ Hibs tried, and failed, to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. ‘Taking you somewhere nice?’
‘Well not Le Manoir,’ Beth snapped back.
‘Oh, right. I’m sorry I spoke.’
Beth sighed. ‘Sorry. I’m a little oversensitive since … you know. Anyway. Yes, he’s taking me to that new French place.’
‘That’s nice. Big reunion meal, is it?’
‘I guess so.’
She sounded happy. He should be glad about that, but the image of Gordon kissing Beth flashed into mind again and he felt a wave of bile.
‘How about you?’ said Beth. ‘Was that a date for tomorrow?’
‘No. Just arrangements for a quick drink tonight.’
‘Karate people?’
‘No. A girl I got to know last night.’
Vik, who was fiddling about with a water bath nearby, looked up. ‘You mean—’
Hibs cut him off. ‘Yeah. Her.’
Vik gave him a puzzled frown. When Hibs shook his head the tiniest bit, Vik looked away.
He wondered if Beth would pursue it further, but she said, ‘That’s nice,’ and wandered off, humming to herself.
Once Beth was out of earshot, Vik came round. ‘Why don’t you want Beth to know you got off with Anna?’
‘Because things aren’t exactly amicable between me and Beth today. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if she found out I shagged her housemate, after she specifically asked me not to?’
‘From where I was sitting, it looked like Anna came on to you.’
‘She did.’
Vik was watching him carefully. ‘Before that, I’d have said you and Beth were getting more pally than usual. What’s going on there?’
‘Nothing.’ If only. If only. His heart squeezed with sadness. ‘We’re just friends. We’ve been friends for a long time. I was a bit drunk. You know how it is.’
Vik nodded, slowly. ‘Okay.’ He looked down at his hands. ‘You seemed pretty pissed off when the boyfriend turned up.’
‘Ex-boyfriend at the time,’ said Hibs. ‘He’s not good to her. You weren’t here the last time. You’ll see what I mean soon enough.’
Chapter Eleven
Beth took care getting ready. The dress she chose was one Gordon had complimented her on before and she even painted her toenails. She wanted to look just perfect for their first date. Their second first date, if that made any sense. After a final check of her make-up, she went
into the kitchen to find Anna humming a tune from Dirty Dancing while she put a pan of water on to boil.
‘Wow!’ said Anna. ‘You look great.’
‘Thanks.’ Beth helped herself to a glass of water, taking care not to smudge her sparse lipstick. Gordon didn’t like her to wear too much ‘war paint’ as he called it, but a little was pretty much obligatory.
‘So, are you doing anything this evening?’ Beth flicked through a magazine, too nervous to sit down.
‘Uh huh. Hibs is coming round.’
Beth froze. ‘Hibs?’
Anna grinned. ‘Oh yeah, you left kinda early last night so you wouldn’t know. He slept over last night.’ She stared into space for a moment, smiling. ‘Well, I say slept …’
There was an acid twist in Beth’s stomach. But Hibs had been flirting with her. Then she remembered Gordon and felt guilty for even thinking that. Hibs was a free agent and so was Anna. Why shouldn’t they be together? She had to pull herself together: Anna was watching her.
‘Wow,’ she said. ‘That’s … good.’
Anna raised her eyebrows. ‘You’re not impressed,’ she said, flatly. ‘Why is that?’
Flustered, Beth thought quickly. ‘He’s a great guy, but he’s not really into commitment. He hasn’t had a long-term relationship since he was in his teens. I … I don’t want you to get hurt.’
Anna shrugged. ‘I can look after myself. I’ve done the long-term relationship thing and I’ve only just been released. I don’t intend to get trapped like that for a while. He’s got nothing to worry about.’
‘Right,’ said Beth. ‘Well, in that case, it’s great news.’
Anna’s smile widened. ‘Oh yes, it is. That guy knows some amazing things. And what he can do with those long fingers …’ Her eyes glazed as she stared into space again. ‘He can bend his tongue right back on itself. Weird, but useful.’
Beth looked for an excuse to cut the conversation short. She really did not want to hear about Hibs’s sexual skills. ‘He’s working tonight.’
‘I know. But there’s all that time between readings,’ said Anna. ‘You can get a lot done in an hour or two.’ She was grinning again.
Beth looked away. The burn in her stomach was back. Why was she feeling like this? It wasn’t like Hibs was ever single for long. She’d never cared about any of those other women. But this time he was having sex with her housemate, in her flat … somehow that was different.
‘Beth? Are you okay?’
Beth realised she must have pulled a face. She quickly forced a smile. ‘Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘You just looked …’ Anna put her palms on the table and leaned forward. ‘You are okay with this? You know, me and Hibs. You said you didn’t have a problem before.’
‘No, no. I don’t have a problem. I’m just nervous about my date with Gordon, that’s all.’
‘Are you sure? ’Cause if it’s a problem, we could always go to his place.’
She noticed that Anna hadn’t offered to end her dalliance with Hibs, merely to take the action elsewhere. ‘Hibs doesn’t take women to his place.’
‘Huh? What do you mean?’
‘It’s one of his rules. He likes to keep his women distanced from him own space.’
Thankfully, the doorbell rang, saving her from having to say any more. Her heart rose to her throat and she rushed to let Gordon in.
Gordon was fiddling with his phone. When he looked up, his gaze started at her face and went down to her feet and back up again. She tensed, suddenly wondering if she was wearing too much make-up, or if she’d put on weight since he’d last seen her.
Beth nearly melted with relief when he smiled and said, ‘Nice dress,’ in an appreciative voice. He kissed her. ‘You look stunning. Ready to go?’
‘Yes. I’ll just get my bag.’
Gordon followed her inside.
Anna was still in the kitchen, throwing handfuls of pasta into the boiling water. ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘You must be Gordon.’ She wiped her hand on a tea towel and held it out. ‘I’m Anna.’
‘Pleased to meet you, Anna. Do I take it you’re the new flatmate?’
‘I am indeed.’
‘Sorry,’ said Beth. ‘I didn’t get chance to introduce you two last night. It all happened a bit quickly.’
Gordon turned and smiled. ‘It did, didn’t it?’ He held out his arm to her. ‘Shall we go?’
Beth nodded and fell into step beside him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. The familiar weight of his arm made Beth feel warm inside. She had forgotten the sheer knee-wobbling thrill of being with Gordon. She belonged with him. That thing last night with Hibs had just been an aberration.
‘Have a good evening,’ she said to Anna, as she left. ‘Say hi to Hibs.’
Thankfully, Gordon waited until they were outside the flat before he said, ‘Is Anna sleeping with Hibs?’
‘Apparently,’ said Beth.
Gordon laughed. ‘Nice to see that Hibs hasn’t changed.’
‘Hmm.’
‘What? Something wrong?’ He frowned and the tone of his voice sharpened.
Beth felt a twinge of unease. ‘No, not really. It’s just awkward having my flatmate seeing my work mate.’
He gave her an odd look. ‘Why should that be awkward?’
Beth shrugged. Gordon was holding a little too tightly round her waist. It made it hard to walk without tripping over. Had he always done that? ‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘I guess it’s okay now. It’ll just be difficult when he dumps her in a few weeks.’
‘You seem very confident that he will.’
‘That’s what usually happens.’
‘She seems pretty lively. I’m sure she can handle him.’
They walked on. Beth decided she’d just never noticed how uncomfortable it was to walk when someone taller than you was trying to tether you to their hip. She’d not minded before. So why did she now?
She looked up at Gordon’s golden features. The regal nose, the perfect mouth. God, he was gorgeous. People noticed them when they walked past. It was as though Beth was normally invisible and Gordon suddenly brought her into the light. Gordon smiled at her. That was worth a little discomfort.
Dinner was wonderful. The atmosphere was buzzing, the food was good, the wine was too. But it was the company more than anything that set Beth’s heart aflame. Gordon looked so handsome and it was just wonderful to be sitting opposite him again. The painful months when she’d been apart from him faded from her mind, unable to compete with the sheer joy of having him there again.
‘Shall we go to the pictures tomorrow?’ Gordon said. ‘There’s a new movie out that I’d like to see.’
‘Oh, I can’t. I’m working tomorrow night.’
Gordon frowned. ‘Working? At night?’
‘I told you, I’m taking it in turns with Hibs to do the night shift. We’re running these experiments simultaneously, remember?’
‘I thought that was just a one-off.’
‘No. It’s every other night for the next four weeks.’ She was sure she’d told him this the night before. ‘I did tell you.’
Gordon’s frown deepened. He appeared to be focused on his coffee. ‘I see.’ He looked up, the frown gone. His clear eyes looked deep into hers. ‘I was just so excited to see you I must have forgotten.’
Aw. That was sweet. Beth smiled back. ‘That’s okay. I can see you the night after, though. Is that okay?’
‘I guess so. And this is every other night for the next few weeks?’ He took a sip of coffee. When she nodded, he said, ‘So, what do you do when you’re working at night?’
‘I take a reading every four hours. Since I’ve got the lab to myself, I tend to do other work for a bit.’ She tucked a wisp of hair b
ehind her ear. ‘I usually go home and sleep in between the two early-morning readings though.’
‘Sounds like hard work.’ He leaned forward and covered her hand with his. ‘Poor Beth.’
She laughed. ‘It’s not the greatest, but it has to be done.’ She explained again about Roger and the presentation. ‘I think he’s wrong. The results should show that.’
‘Wait. You think he’s wrong?’ said Gordon. ‘That’s a bit presumptuous, isn’t it? He’s your supervisor.’
Beth stared. What sort of logic was that? ‘What’s that got to do with anything? It’s my project.’
Gordon raised his hands as though surrendering. ‘Hey. Don’t get all defensive, babe. I don’t mean that you’re not good at your job. I’m just saying that Roger is an expert in the area. He knows an awful lot about the subject.’
‘Yes, but he’s not being objective. He’s picked a pet theory and is trying to fit the evidence round it.’
‘So are you.’
Why was Gordon taking Roger’s side? He was her boyfriend. He was supposed to be supporting her. ‘The pictures should show things one way or the other.’ She glared at him, riled enough to risk upsetting him. ‘I resent the implication that I don’t know what I’m talking about.’
Gordon held up his hands. ‘Woah, I never said that. I would never say that.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘Hey, don’t frown. We don’t want to ruin a perfectly nice evening by arguing over something unimportant.’
Beth let her face relax. He was right. This evening was too precious to waste talking about work. What he said still niggled, but she’d worry about it later.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘You’re right.’
Gordon’s gaze met hers. It was as though she was floating into his eyes. The rest of the room receded.
He cleared his throat. ‘I was going to wait until the end of the night, but …’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small parcel.
For a moment she thought he was getting out a ring and she panicked. She wasn’t prepared for marriage. Not yet.
He handed her the parcel, small but flat and wrapped in paper. Okay. Probably not a ring box then. She took it, her hand trembling a little. ‘What is it?’