“I know what a total bitch looks like, and you’re not it.” He guided the dredge around the tip of the breakwater and into the harbor. “Plus, you’re paying me, right? I work for you. Why would I want to screw that up?”
He had a point. “I appreciate that. Not one person in Nome thinks I can run the Alaska Darling. If you haven’t noticed, not many women captain dredges out here. They think I only ended up in charge because of my dad. Well, screw that.” Even Kyle thought I’d only brought Ben on to run things. To be my protector.
He scanned my bedraggled figure. “You seem pretty capable to me.”
That took me by surprise. “Thanks.” I hadn’t felt very capable as of late. Where was the independent girl Buck Darling had raised? I’d punched Nate in the nose, for heaven’s sake. No one had helped me then. I took care of things myself. And when my mom had left I had taken care of things then, too.
“So, your dad gonna be all right?” Ben asked, deftly changing the subject.
His question set off a flurry of conflicting emotions: hope, fear, worry, sadness. “I think so.”
“That’s good. I’m glad.” He steered toward the docks. “You want me to bring it in?” Ben worked the controls, slowing us down for the approach.
“Sure, go ahead.” I willed my tired body to move. “I’ll get ready with the line.”
Ben slowed the dredge to a crawl and steered us toward a gap. I readied myself at the edge and waited until we were within a couple of feet of the dock. I jumped, rope in hand, and landed barefooted. As Ben shut down the engine, I tied the rope around the cleat, snugging the dredge up against the dock.
By the time I’d finished securely lashing the dredge to the dock, Ben had begun cleaning out the sluice. I joined him in the task. We hauled saturated mats full of heavy material from the bottom of the sound, which we both hoped was seeded with gold flake. A few smaller nuggets visible to the naked eye.
“Looks good.” I dumped a rolled up mat into one of the five gallon buckets. My exhausted limbs shook.
“Need my help with clean up again?” Ben put his mat alongside mine. “I got this.” He waved me off as I went for the bucket handle.
After our discussion on the dredge about how capable I was, the fact Ben had to help me with the mats at the end of a long day didn’t exactly prove his point. But a few other things needed my attention on the dredge before I left the dock for the day. “If you could get that out to the truck, I’m gonna check some of the equipment and refuel for tomorrow.”
Ben agreed and carried the heavy, gold-and-gravel laden bucket to the edge of the dredge to lift it onto the dock. He set it on the well-weathered boards and took a step across the gap between the dredge and the dock. The dredge dipped. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of Nate, just arrived on the Rough & Ready, taking a foot off the Alaska Darling. Ben lost his footing, grabbed for the edge, missed, and slipped between the dredge and the dock into the incredibly cold water in the harbor.
“Oh my God!” I leapt into action. I grabbed an extra boat fender and lashed it to the edge of the dredge so that Ben wouldn’t be crushed as the waves pushed the dredge into the dock. It didn’t give him much space. The water was treacherously cold. Someone could go into hypothermia with only a few minutes of exposure. “Does anyone see him?”
More dredgers had arrived and unloaded their crew and pay dirt, too. Confusion rippled through the men.
Nate had disappeared.
I spotted the top of Ben’s head. He’d managed to move to the starboard side of the dredge and treaded water.
“Here.” I dumped a rope ladder over the side.
The captain of the dredge next to me didn’t even realize what was playing out in the water between our vessels. A few miners watched the spectacle from the docks. I didn’t have time to criticize their non-action. I suppose they thought my diver was one hundred percent my responsibility.
Ben, although a strong swimmer, had trouble maneuvering to the ladder. The effects of the water temperature and shock had set in. He had a cut on his head that bled freely.
I whipped off my sweat pants and t-shirt and dove into the water. If no one else would help, I would do it myself. Show these boys a thing or two about how tough Aurora Darling was.
The water hit my body like a block of ice. As I surfaced, I sucked in air. My whole body shuddered from the shock of it. Ben floated a few feet from me. I turned off my mind to the cold and forced my numb hands and arms to paddle forward. I slid my arms underneath his and kicked backward with all the force I had. It seemed as if I went nowhere. I couldn’t feel my legs. Ben relaxed and leaned back, letting me be the guide. He kicked, too, and together we made it back to the dredge.
At the base of the ladder I could barely grasp the ropes to pull myself up much less help Ben who outweighed me by at least fifty pounds. Ben put his whole arm through the ropes to hold himself up. Not quite sure of my next move, I climbed the ladder. The wind blew against my wet body. The cold was unbearable, but only half the work had been done.
“Hold on, Ben.” I quickly made a knotted loop with a rope and tossed it down. “Put it on.”
Ben slipped the loop over his head and under his arms. He gave me the thumbs up sign. He shivered.
“Can someone help?” I squawked.
Several miners who’d stood watching the scenario play out climbed aboard to add their weight to mine. As a team we hauled Ben up the ladder. At the top, he grabbed the last rung and heaved himself over the side onto the dredge.
Someone handed me a wool blanket from the wheelhouse, and I covered Ben with it. “Are you all right?”
He nodded. His lips pale.
A few miners clapped and cheered from the dock. I guess they didn’t think I was such a neophyte after all. The recognition felt good. I smiled at my tiny fan base and waved.
“Here, Rory.” I looked up and Kyle handed me a towel. He’d been one of the divers on the dock who’d helped.
I’d completely turned off my brain to the cold. With the crisis over, all I wanted was warmth: something hot to drink, a steamy shower, blankets, slippers, and a cozy couch to lay on. “Thanks.” I took the towel and wrapped it around my midsection.
Ben shook the water out of his hair and beard, like a shaggy dog. Although he shivered violently, we’d both made it out of the water pretty much unscathed.
“Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the help.” Kyle melted away into the crowd on the dock. I didn’t really have much thought about his behavior. But maybe our break-up was still uncomfortable for him. A lot had transpired between us in a short period of time. Maybe the accident had been harder on him than I realized.
“What the hell happened?” Ben asked, teeth chattering.
“I was about to ask you the same thing.” I had a sneaking suspicion Nate was to blame, but didn’t want to get into it at the docks near all the other dredges and divers. “Let’s get out of here. You’re still at risk for hypothermia. We need to warm you up.”
“So are you.”
My hair dripped with icy seawater and my feet were numb. “That’s a fair assessment.”
“Shit, the bucket.”
I followed Ben’s gaze. When he’d slipped off the dock, the five gallon bucket had tipped over. Gold-laden concentrates lay spilled across the boards.
“Dammit.” I dried off quickly, dressed and slipped on some flip-flops. I grabbed another towel and tossed it to Ben. “Take off your wet clothes. You’ll freeze like that.” On the dock I tipped the bucket upright and scooped concentrates into the bucket. My feet and hands were white with cold. But we needed the gold, so I had to recover what I could.
Ben joined me. His feet bare. He’d wrapped the wool blanket around his waist like a kilt and had draped the damp towel over his shoulders. He waited for me to add a last handful of concentrates to the bucket and then wordlessly carried it to my truck.
I didn’t like leaving the dredge in such a state. I typically spent a little bit of time at
the end of the day checking hoses, filling gas tanks, locking things up. But it was more important to get dry and warm. Ben loaded the bucket in the back of my truck.
I started up my dad’s truck and rolled down the window. “Get in.”
“What?”
“Get. In.” I pulled on the door latch, and it popped open a few inches. “You’re in no shape to go riding around on an ATV. You’ll freeze. I’ve got some of my dad’s stuff at my place. You can warm up there before you head back. I can put your wet things in the dryer.” I had no idea how long a journey he had to get to wherever he was staying, but my apartment was only a five minute drive away.
He didn’t argue. He slammed the door shut, and I drove us straight to my place.
“You think we lost much gold?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Not much we can do about it now.” I turned up the truck’s heat to full blast. I couldn’t tell the difference between the gas and the brake, my feet were so frozen.
Ben put his hands up to a vent.
I was hyper aware Ben was practically naked in my truck. I had no idea what he wore underneath the blanket. I tried to keep my imagination on a low boil on the back burner. Would do no good to let my thoughts run wild.
“I’ve been on and off boats for years.” He pulled the blanket more tightly around him. A violent shiver struck. “I don’t do c-c-clumsy. What happened?”
Might as well ‘fess up to what I saw. “Nate, I think.” I pulled into a parking space outside my apartment building. “Looked like he stepped on the port side just as you were getting off the dredge.”
“Bastard.” Ben clenched his fists.
“I have no idea what his problem is. He seems to think I owe him something. Maybe with my dad laid up he sees me as an easy target, I don’t know. And when you came to my rescue the other night, I suppose that didn’t sit well with him.”
“Next time I see him, I’ll rearrange his f-f-face.” Ben’s shivering had gotten worse.
“Let’s get inside. We need to warm you up. I’ll get a tub running.” Although I’d been in the water as well, my time had been limited, and I’d been prepared. I’d shucked off my clothes to make it easier to dry off and get warm. Plus, I’d had dry clothes to put on. “And we need to do something about that cut.” I touched his forehead where blood oozed out of a cut above his eye.
He drew back. “Ouch.”
“It’s not that bad.” I smiled. The big, bad military dude had said ‘ouch.’ “I actually do have a box of Band-Aids despite what you might’ve thought the other night.”
“Well, wherever they are, they were not in a place that makes sense. B-b-bathroom medicine cabinet. That makes sense. Anywhere else? Just stupid.”
“Come on. Let’s get you inside before the neighbors start talking.”
Ben scanned the street. “Nobody’s out there.”
“It’s just a figure of speech.”
We headed up the stairs to my apartment. Ben’s wool blanket dragged on the ground, threatening to tear loose with each step.
“My dad’s stuff is in the bedroom closet.” I unlocked the door. “I’m going to get the bucket out of the truck. I’ll be right back.”
Ben shuffled into the apartment. “Thanks.”
The plastic handle of the five gallon bucket bit into my palm. Although I’d gotten the feeling back in my hands, every move I made felt awkward. A few more steps, and I could curl up under a blanket while I waited for some water to boil for tea. I set the bucket inside the door. It landed with a loud ka-thunk.
Ben came out of the bedroom dressed in my father’s bathrobe.
Oh my.
Since Ben stood much taller and had a build much broader than my father, the bathrobe gaped open down to mid-torso Although I’d seen Ben bare chested before, the combination of wet hair, muscled pecs, and those deep blue eyes made my heart skip.
“Your father and I aren’t exactly the same size.”
I’m sure my mouth hung open. “Noted.” I quickly turned away and headed straight for the bathroom. “Let me start you a bath so you can warm up. Then I’ll get the kettle on.”
He stopped me. “Appreciate your help today.”
Soft, quiet. In my ear. A breath of warmth against my skin. A shiver. Goosebumps. Why did I always find myself attracted to the wrong men? Stella would be bashing me over the head if she knew what was going on behind my apartment door.
“No problem. You would’ve done the same for me.” I said the words, but they weren’t just words. I knew that was true. Ben, more a stranger to me than a friend, had pulled my ass out of the fire twice already.
Ben let me go. I cranked on the hot water in the bathroom tub, knowing it would take a few minutes for the water to heat up. I opened the bathroom cabinet under the sink and grabbed the bandages and a tube of anti-bacterial cream.
I caught a look at myself in the mirror and was horrified to see I looked like a drowned rat. My damp shoulder-length hair was plastered across my forehead. My face looked thin and pale in the fluorescent light coming from the one fixture over the sink. I swept away the stray, tangled strands. Not much better. But at least I didn’t look quite as unkempt.
I snapped off the bathroom light. “Let me fix you up.”
Ben had stretched out on the couch and had covered himself with the comforter I slept under. “Not necessary.”
The couch had been my bed for years. Although my dad had been in the hospital for over a week, I didn’t feel right moving into his bedroom. If I kept everything as it was, that meant he would come back and we would go on as before. Nothing new. Nothing changed. Everything the same. Everything exactly as it has always been: Buck and Rory, two peas in a pod.
“I’ll say if it’s necessary.” I set the First Aid items on the kitchen counter, grabbed the tea kettle and filled it.
“Really. It’s fine.” He rubbed at his forehead. “See?”
He had smeared blood across his face.
I gave him a look.
“Shit.” He stared at his hand. “Toss me the stupid band-aids.”
“I’ll fix it.” I turned the gas burner up high and plunked the tea kettle on it.
I sat on the armrest of the couch and dabbed at the cut with a Kleenex to clean up some of the blood. “The water in the harbor is so disgusting. We’d better make sure this is good and clean. Did you ever see the show ‘Monsters Inside Me?’”
“No.”
I smeared some anti-biotic cream on the wound—about an inch long, not very deep. But head wounds of this type always seemed to bleed more than one would think. “Well, there are nasty things that live in the water. Microorganisms, bacteria. It’s disgusting actually.”
He winced. “Hey. Careful.”
“Baby,” I chastised. I opened a bandage and carefully adhered it.
Ben looked up at me with his dark, dark gaze. I leaned forward. The deep darkness drew me in. Everything in me wanted to kiss him. I wanted those strong arms to pull me down, caress me, hold me. Sun had streaked his brown hair, and I wanted to run my fingers through it.
He touched my cheek.
I touched my lips to his.
The tea kettle whistled. I jumped back and shook my head.
“The water,” Ben said.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Warmth flooded my cheeks. “Yeah, I got it.” I headed to the kitchen to get the tea kettle. But then I heard water splashing in the bathroom “The tub!”
I left the tea kettle whistling on the stove and ran into the bathroom. The tub had been filled to the top, and the mirror had steamed up.
“I got the kettle.” Ben said.
I turned off the faucet and grabbed a couple of towels off the rack to soak up the mess. “Damn.”
What in the hell had I been thinking back there on the couch? I’d only just gotten out of a long-term relationship with Kyle. Was I now willing to dive right in with a possible murderer? Would it really be wise to start a relationship with someone who’d lost his fi
ancée under very suspicious circumstances less than a year ago?
The worst part was, he had no idea I knew about his complicated background. I had this heavy piece of information sitting in my head every time I looked at him. Was that really fair?
“Here you go. I found some tea in the cupboard. I think yours is lemon?” Ben handed me a Styrofoam cup. “Mine’s maybe mint?” He sniffed the cup in his other hand and frowned. “Hm, maybe not. The print was sort of faded on the box.”
I took the tea with surprise. He’d found something in my father’s disorganized kitchen. More power to him. “The bath is ready.”
He studied me.
I wanted to forget the kiss.
“So…” He opened the door to an uncomfortable discussion. “What was that back there? On the couch.”
“A mistake?”
He scratched his jaw. “All right.”
My heart beat as fast as a bird’s. “The floor’s a bit wet, but the water’s hot.” I scooped up the soaked towels. “I’ll bring you some dry ones.” I grabbed a stack of dry, folded towels sitting in a laundry basket near the couch. I stamped out that conversation. It just wasn’t happening. Period.
“Great. Okay. Cool.” Ben’s words were clipped.
I handed him the towels and shut the door.
I leaned against it. My stomach in knots.
Water splashed. He’d climbed into the tub.
I entered my father’s room and picked up Ben’s wet clothes. Pants, shirt, socks. I knocked on the bathroom door. “I’m going down to the laundry room. Be right back.”
All I heard was a contented groan on the other side of the door.
I threw on a parka, as I still hadn’t recovered my body temperature. Might look like overkill for an August evening, but what did I care? I dumped out the mug that held spare change and counted out four quarters for the dryer. I put Ben’s clothes in an empty hamper from the coat closet and headed down to the small laundry room at the back of the building.
Once I got outside into the real world, I let out a huge breath. Whatever emotions ran through me on the couch needed to be exorcised immediately. My mother had probably gotten into trouble for the same reason. No self-control. Instead of ignoring a visceral physical attraction to a handsome, virile man, she’d welcomed it.
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