by Nikki Lewen
“What’s the back-up plan?” she asks, straight-faced.
“There isn’t one. If Gus doesn’t return, it’s…survive or die here.”
Sadie’s eyes narrow, staring directly into Caleb’s, making him squirm. “So…you’re plannin’ on…living…here?” Her eyebrows raise a mere fraction.
Realizing his assumption and taking staying here for granted, he realizes he’s given Sadie the wrong impression and quickly scrambles to correct it. “I mean…somewhere on the island, not…living…with…you, but…somewhere.” His words only embarrass him further and Sadie’s eyeing him doesn’t help. “If Gus doesn’t return, I’m stuck. So…I hope it’s okay…for me…to stay.”
His eyes plead, but Sadie remains silent. She hasn’t put thought into his long-term living arrangements and only planned where to station him to help keep watch and move supplies. Caleb, who sits pathetically waiting, would much rather live on the island with Sadie then go back to the colony. Sadie doesn’t respond, instead, she gets up and begins gathering her things in preparation for leaving. Caleb, not sure what to do, watches, hoping for some positive indication.
“Sadie,” Caleb begins, gathering courage and lightly touching her arm, “please…stay.”
His sincerity scares Sadie and an uncomfortable sensation builds in her abdomen.
“Please. Sit back down…at least for a little longer,” he pleads.
Debating her options, Sadie finds she’s not sure what to do. It’s easier to retreat home, but at some point she’s going to need to face the fact that, for whatever reason, Caleb’s back in her life.
“Alright. I’ll put some tea on,” she finally says.
Caleb’s happily surprised. He didn’t expect it, but now that she’s staying, he grows uncertain and starts with small talk. He specifically asks about how much water the structure collects, knowing already the entire unit acts as a giant cistern, collecting and filtering ground water that seeps down the mountain. His question gets her talking and opening up, as Sadie shares more about her dad. Caleb sees the love and admiration emanating from her eyes and wishes he’d taken the opportunity to meet the man. When she finishes her last tale, they laugh together, and then there’s a long silence.
“I regret…never meeting him.” Caleb eventually says. “I regret…lots more than that.”
Their light mood completely disappears as he speaks what he’s wanted to tell Sadie for a long time.
“I’m sorry…for everything. I’m sorry for not being there when you lost your family…for not making you my priority…for…abandoning you when you needed me the most…and for being…such an idiot. You didn’t deserve it…I’m truly sorry.”
Uneasiness stirs in Sadie’s stomach as Caleb continues getting more off his chest.
“I’ve thought lots about us…being…together again.” Seeing Sadie’s scared and uncertain look, Caleb quickly recovers, “I mean…our paths crossing again after all these years. I’m just…grateful for the chance to finally apologize.” He pauses before adding one last thing, “Can you ever forgive me?”
Sadie knew, at some point, their past would come up and now that is has, she’s even more uncomfortable than she anticipated. She unconsciously spins the wedding band still worn around her ring finger, while Caleb stares unsure what to do or say. Nervously, he waits for a response, growing tenser with each passing moment, wishing she’d say something.
After what seems like an eternity, Sadie speaks. “Caleb, I forgave you…a long…time ago.”
Even though her words are truthful, Sadie doesn’t feel any better about sharing them. She wipes out her teacup and after saying a quick goodbye, retreats to her hidden side of the bunker. Once inside—and after several deep breaths—the uneasiness gripping her insides eases. Frustrated by her reaction and sudden anger, Sadie turns to the evening’s tasks and moves on. Grabbing a clipboard hanging from its hook, she checks the food storage’s inventory and starts moving meal buckets.
Continuing to add to the pile, Sadie’s memories surface, transporting her to a long-ago day when she visited with her father and found a food catalogue mixed in with his mail. While flipping through the pages, Sadie joked about some of the items, only for him to open the pantry and come out holding an armful of pouches and cans. She didn’t understand why he needed freeze-dried foods and MREs, but explaining it, he said that he simply wanted to try them.
Sadie’s always preferred fresh food and living off the land when possible, but over the years, she’s consumed many of these packaged meals. Even so, there’s barely a dent in the supply and food buckets are stacked floor to ceiling, filling the storage area. The bunker’s design holds a lifetime of food and this is only one of the many rooms scattered throughout the underground compound.
Finished and heading to bed for the evening, Sadie thinks about the Tri-nami first hitting and her move back to the family cabin, which was also stocked. All its cabinets, shelves, closets, and pantry were full. At the time, she thought the supplies would be enough to help through the hardest parts of the recovery, but it wasn’t long after they realized the world would take generations to heal.
Between what they hunted, gathered, and harvested from the crops planted in town, they did better than survive. It wasn’t until the Splitters arrived that things turned worse and she can’t help but think about her dad’s death. He was so adamant about returning home after being shot. It was his dying wish and the journey back was slow and painful. Once home, he held on for several days, living on pure will, making sure Sadie was left knowing more details of his preparations.
He demanded to go to his apartment and not the cabin, and once there, he revealed the entire bunker. It was the first time Sadie learned the extent of his planning and how much he managed to hide. He handed over blue prints, revealed all the entrances, exits, hidden passageways, and vast stores of goods. Sadie couldn’t believe the size of the compound, the amount of items he squirreled away, and how long he kept it secret, making the entire ordeal surreal and clouded in sadness.
He delayed his own death only to ensure her safety. In his final moments, her dad made Sadie and Markus promise to move into the security of the bunker, where the Splitter Nation couldn’t reach them. As he lay struggling with his last breaths, Sadie held his hand. His last words still echo in Sadie’s ears. “You must…survive…promise me...you’ll live…find the strength...no matter…what happens.” They both knew it was his final moment, and each word he managed to speak was a small victory. Sadie promised, and he fought to say more, but nothing coherent followed.
With the memory, a small tear escapes and falls down Sadie’s cheek while she climbs into bed. Never a day goes by that she doesn’t miss her dad, family, and heart-wrenchingly, her husband. As they often do when she’s in bed, Sadie’s thoughts turn to Markus. After her dad died, Sadie was distraught, but it didn’t compare to the mourning she experienced after her husband’s death. It’s sad thoughts such as these that ignite Sadie’s nightmares, and she attempts to dismiss them before sleeping.
Sadie snaps awake, unable to return to slumber, and gets up to start her day extra early. Working displaces the images from her dreams and after completing several chores and making additions to the growing pile, she makes breakfast and carries it next-door to share with Caleb. Sadie, entering earlier than normal, surprises him, and he’s caught with only a towel around his waist, still damp from a quick rinse. Sadie’s surprised too and a little embarrassed. Feeling her face blush, she averts her eyes, noticing he’s gained some weight back and looks—stronger.
“Ahhhh…sorry. I wanted to join ya…for a…pa-trol,” she stammers.
Caleb quickly dresses and it’s momentarily awkward when he joins her, but it changes with a view of breakfast.
“That looks great and smells even better!” he excitedly says.
His comment puts them at ease and together, they sit to enjoy the meal. Sadie made more than they can eat, but knows leftovers will be appreciated. Caleb r
ecovered his appetite a while ago and it makes her feel good to see him eat so heartily. He eyes what remains, looks at Sadie, and asks if she’d like any more. When she declines, Caleb grabs a pancake and slathers it with another serving of rehydrated eggs and cheese. Wrapping it like a taco, he wolfs it down, then, tops it off with a few more mouthfuls of orange drink. Setting his glass down, he notices the amusement twinkling in Sadie’s eyes.
“What?” he asks.
“Still hungry? Here,” she teases, pushing what’s left of the food closer to him.
He sees she’s joking and laughs, patting his stomach. “No, I think I’m done. But…”
Caleb grabs one last cake and tears it into pieces, “I’d hate to waste the syrup.”
He wipes his plate clean, leans back, and states that now he’s full. Not wanting to disrupt their casual interaction, Sadie keeps it light, but gets them moving. They check the charges on their radios in anticipation of Jose’s scheduled return and head out for the day. Sadie starts the patrol in a completely different direction and Caleb follows her lead. At regular intervals throughout the morning, they receive and try returning radio contact. It starts as static, transitions to beeping, and later, a few broken words are relayed.
Nearing mid-day, Sadie turns toward an area she often neglects. As they hike, her thoughts turn dark, and she fails to notice Caleb talking. They step from beneath the canopies of several redwoods and an area opens before them. Caleb halts at the sight. It’s not the impressive jumble of fallen trees that gets his awe. It’s what lies hidden beneath the largest camouflage netting he’s ever seen. Obviously, it’s military-grade and hides a massive structure.
Forced to walk by the giant tree that smashed her husband, Sadie’s mind materializes the image of Markus’s twitching leg. An all too familiar internal pain develops, her pulse quickens, and her chest tightens. Still oblivious to anything Caleb’s saying, she pushes forward and makes it to the barn door. Her arms remember the desperation they felt holding onto the frame for dear life and the bruises that covered them afterwards. Fumbling with the lock, she steadies herself with a deep breath and enters.
The huge expanse is full of machinery, a couple of vehicles, tools, and equipment, but everything’s protected under tarps, covers, and old blankets. While Sadie hunts for what she came for, Caleb looks around and helps when needed. A pile builds on one of the many workbenches and as it reaches completion, Sadie switches to showing Caleb where to find various items, explaining the barn’s organization. Satisfied, Sadie packs what she can fit into her bag and leaves what remains for later.
Caleb and Sadie return to the studio and begin cooking when Jose enters. He drops his pack, hugs Sadie, and reaches for the cold leftover pancakes. After his snack, Sadie gets out her map, and they update the ranges of their radio signals. With each trip Jose takes, they’re attempting to pinpoint exact distances and locations where the walkie-talkies work best. Eventually, Sadie hopes to establish a communication network across the island, but the steep mountain terrain challenges her goal. She reaches for a radio and taps out a series of sounds, making sure the guys are paying attention. Intrigued with what she’s up to, they ask.
“Listen again.” Using the radio, she makes the same series of sounds, only slowly, while verbalizing each letter as she does: “S – A – D – I – E.”
She does it twice more, writing out the dots and dashes, impressing Caleb with her knowledge of Morse code. She teaches them the basics, along with emergency signals, and then informs them she’ll be taking a set of radios to Clara’s. After dinner, Sadie presents Jose with the items she collected from the barn and explains Caleb will show him the rest another time. It’s all for Jose’s boat, but before he can say thanks; Sadie begins giving them the next set of instructions. First thing in the morning, they’ll patrol before she leaves for Clara’s. She provides an estimated timeline for her absence, along with an outline of what needs to be done at the Memorial Camp, the helicopter clearing, and at Anna’s.
Stressing the importance of healing, Sadie reminds Caleb to take it easy. Once the supplies have been moved, she wants him to divide time between the cave and Anna’s. Neither of the boys are happy to learn she’s leaving so soon, but they agree to what’s asked and wonder just how much they’ll be moving. When they return from patrolling the following morning and enter the studio, they get their answer in piles organized by intended location. Sadie smiles when the men gasp in shock.
“You want us to move…all…this?” Jose says, surprised.
“Yep,” Sadie glances from Jose to the piles, “these should help.” She holds up two interesting-looking apparatuses. “These are for moving heavy loads. They’re modeled after old bricklayer packs and can easily support over a hundred pounds. But…don’t carry that much…no more than fifty, at most...and, Caleb…you way less.”
Sadie suggests strategies to make the task easier, but she doesn’t spend much time before heading out with a large, heavy pack strapped to her back. She tightens the hip belt, sets a comfortable pace, and looks forward to spending some time with the girls.
THIRTY-SEVEN
“SADIE!” Anna yells, setting down a basket and running to greet her.
Sadie has just enough time to set her pack down before the girl leaps into her arms. Good thing, because Anna nearly knocks her over. Wrapping the girl in an even tighter hug, Sadie relishes these precious moments. When they release from their embrace, Anna explodes with information and Sadie hears all about what the girl’s been doing. The youngster talks about the plentiful harvest of persimmons, how she picked them all by herself, used the ladder, and almost fell. The girl’s a whirlwind of chatter, making Sadie smile.
Clara stepped out of the cabin when she first heard Anna yell and, watching the two young women interact while walking towards her, she feels a heartfelt surge of emotion. The elder takes a moment to count her blessings, then gives Sadie the warmest welcome home hug the woman can remember.
“It’s good to see you,” Clara says, as they break from their embrace.
Once inside the quaint confines of Clara’s home, Sadie’s senses are overwhelmed with the incredible smells. While Anna puts away her basket of fruit, Sadie and Clara dare a quick dialogue while the girl’s distracted.
“How’s she doing?” Sadie discreetly whispers.
Clara raises a hand, tilting it side-to-side in a quick gesture. It’s enough of a communication for Sadie to understand it’s still touch and go with Anna. Later, she’ll get a detailed explanation, but as Anna re-joins them, Sadie doesn’t want to dampen the girl’s currently cheery mood. Instead, she asks about the heavenly smells and the girl jumps, checks the oven, and returns carrying a small bowl.
“I’m making dinner. All by myself,” Anna says, beaming with almost as much pride as Clara, sitting nearby. “And these,” she hands the bowl to Sadie, “are a surprise…for you.”
Looking into the container, Sadie picks up a piece of the dried fruit. She’s never eaten dehydrated persimmons before and with her first bite, she’s impressed. They’re good, really good. She pops another piece into her mouth and then another. The women laugh at Sadie’s enjoyment and after a few more giggles, Anna goes to the oven and returns with a hot, fresh loaf.
Carefully placing it on the cutting board, Anna retrieves three bowls and spoons and carries a pot of stew to the table. She serves the steamy vittles and cuts a piece of bread for each. Before sitting down, Anna fills the water pitcher and grabs glasses. They give thanks and dig in to a belly-warming, tasty meal. Then, for dessert, they finish the last of the bread smeared with persimmon jam.
When Anna gets up to clean, Clara leans closer to Sadie, places a wrinkled hand over hers, and asks Sadie how she’s really been. Looking into the concerned eyes of the old woman, Sadie already knows Clara can sense her distress and the recent sickness she’s been battling. No longer hiding it, Sadie provides a couple of quick insights into her state of health. The old woman has such a way and wa
rmth about her that Sadie can’t help but share more.
Retreating to the fireplace to settle in for a night of chatting and sipping tea, the women gather, as Sadie opens her pack to hand out all the items she packed. Both Clara and Anna find amazement at all she presents. From simple things Sadie views as basic essentials to items she deems essential for the safety of all of them. Handing out the gifts reminds Sadie how fortunate she’s been.
Sadie teaches them a few radio calls, has them practice, and they laugh, keeping things light. She explains wanting to establish communication lines among all of them and thinks the radios will work best between Clara’s and Anna’s places, since it’s a shorter distance and some of the areas at higher elevations should easily put them in range. They enjoy each other’s company late into the night and when Anna falls asleep, the two older women quiet their voices and talk privately.
Clara speaks in depth, updating Sadie on all things concerning Anna. Even though the girl continues to mourn, she displays a willingness to learn and is incredibly helpful. Clara proudly brags and although she loves talking about Anna, she wants to hear more from Sadie, particularly about her physical and mental health. Sadie describes her fatigue and fever, but hesitates before mentioning the nightmares. Talking about her dreams isn’t something Sadie’s accustomed to doing and Clara senses it. She describes the images haunting her and their lingering effects as Clara nods her head and listens without interrupting. After talking at length, Sadie’s exhausted, but feels a burden’s been lifted. Clara’s caring, soft words and loving ways are the medicine Sadie truly needed.
They stay up much later, sleep in, and when Sadie wakes, she’s refreshed and energized. It’s been a while since she’s awakened in this state and it feels good. Heading into the kitchen, she finds Anna already has breakfast done, the oven is loaded with trays of dehydrating persimmons, and she’s prepping the next batch. Sadie walks over, looks at the fruit being cut, and picks out a tasty piece. She pops it into her mouth, relishes in its sweetness, and grabs a knife to help.