by KL Donn
Slipping into a pair of jogging shorts outside, I hook my AirPods into my ears and tuck my phone into my pocket. Alert for anything out of the ordinary, I canvas the neighborhood under the guise of taking an early morning jog.
8
Everett
Sneaking is not her forte.
“Wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I hear grumbled from the living room.
Turning, I see Nix and Weston sitting on the couches, shirtless and completely drool-worthy. If I weren’t completely enamored with Foster, even unwillingly, I’d be lusting after the two of them.
“Wouldn’t do what?” I try to act like I have no clue what he means, but I do.
“Leave. He’ll be pissed.” Nix stops what he’s doing on the computer to trap me in his intense stare. “He cares about you. Don’t break him.”
“I know he does. I don’t know why, and I’m trying not to.” Foster is the most amazing man I’ve ever met; I’d hate myself for breaking his heart. I’m trying so hard not to, but I realize I’m failing miserably.
With my own heart, too.
“Don’t leave, dammit!” Weston always seems so tightly wound, and as he follows along behind me, I can hear muttering about a stubborn woman.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I glance back and see his mouth curve slightly.
“Sure, she told me that. She also told me not to let a damsel enter into a dangerous situation.”
“Touché.”
Opening the front door, I step outside. There’s a slight mist in the air from a gentle rain as the sun begins to rise. “How long has he been gone?” I ask as I turn back towards Weston. Worry worms through my heart for Foster. I know he left before I fell back to sleep.
“Two hours or so.” The man doesn’t seem concerned.
“That’s normal?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “For him, yeah. Foster has a lot of anger he works to contain, running keeps him sane. Or so he says. I think blowing shit up keeps him sane, but what do I know?”
Guess I’m not the only one with demons.
“Tell me about your relationship with Van.” I hadn’t expected that from Weston.
“Like what?” I don’t know that we have a relationship.
“Were you two ever close? Did he come to ballet recitals? School plays? Choir? Anything at all?”
“Not that I remember, no. He’s always been absent. Even though he married my mom, I’m not sure they ever lived together. Couldn’t have been for very long, anyways.” I can’t recall any mornings where I would wake up and he was here.
“Never?”
“Maybe before I was born?”
“Interesting.”
“Why do you say it like that?” I can tell he’s got something on his mind, but I wouldn’t even begin to guess what it is.
He's contemplative for a minute before speaking again. “Because what man doesn’t live with his wife and child? I sure as hell wouldn’t leave mine unprotected like that. And doing what he does for a living, I can’t see that being an option.”
Pivoting, he walks back into where Nix is sitting, and they speak in hushed tones. Leaving me more confused than I’ve ever been in my life.
“What are you doing outside?” Foster’s growly tone pulls me from my interest in his teammates.
“I need fresh air.” Not exactly true. I don’t know what my plan was when I came out of my room, but I knew I was heading outside. I needed to get away from the whirlwind of my life.
“That’s a lie,” he points out as he strides up the walkway, taking his shirt off in the process.
I swear my jaw hits the ground. The man is pure beauty. Tight, corded muscles everywhere the eye can see, and his tattoos would attract a blind woman.
He’s the perfect male specimen.
And he could be mine.
“Why am I so broken?” I mutter. I don’t expect an answer.
“How so?” Foster stops a foot in front of me and watches with an inquisitive stare as I think about my answer.
“I willingly had sex with you three months after I was raped by multiple men, and not once was I ever afraid. I wanted to do it, still do, if I’m honest. But other women? The ones in my support group are terrified of their own shadows.” I sound like I’m judging them, but I’m not. I know everyone heals and moves on differently, but what is so wrong with me that I can move on so quickly when some of those women have been suffering for years?
“Maybe it’s because I was there with you. I spent a long time holding you together, Everett. I didn’t just rescue you. For a time, we were companions in that shack.” Could it be that simple?
“Nix thinks I’m going to break your heart,” I blurt out.
“Are you?” His head tilts to the side, and a slow grin grows.
“I don’t want to.” I’d rather cut my own heart out first.
“So, don’t. Stop resisting me and just come here.”
“We live on opposite sides of the country,” I point out.
“We’re on opposite sides of your porch,” he counters, and I can’t help my own smile.
“You’re a lot older than me.” Nearly twelve years. He can’t tell me that won’t bug him.
“Means you can keep up in the sack.” His wink is adorable.
I take a step towards him, my walls slowly crumbling.
“And if we don’t work out?”
“We will.” He’s so sure. “Come home with me now. Let us protect you, figure out what’s happening, and when everything is over, we’ll talk again.”
“That seems reasonable.” I know I need more help than I can handle on my own.
“Good. Now get your ass over here and kiss me, woman.”
My steps are hesitant, but I move closer, and the heat from his body warms me from the inside out. Foster’s a safe haven I wasn’t prepared to accept, but here he is, steamrolling right over my protests and winning.
I don’t get a chance to lift my face to meet him for a kiss. Foster lowers his head and claims my lips with his own in a fierce hold that steals the breath from my lungs. My hands balance on his chest, and his flesh ripples as I move them slowly across the span of his torso. My pulse pounds in my ears as he tenderly works my mouth open and the taste of toothpaste and mint invades my senses.
Hands leisurely glide across my hips and up my back, allowing the cool breeze to brush caressingly across my skin as he pulls me closer with each inhale of breath.
“Hey! Lovebirds, get in here,” Weston calls.
“Asshole,” Foster mutters as we reluctantly pull apart. “What?” he snaps at his friend as he drags me into the house and closes the door.
“Well, I thought it odd that Van and Jessica never lived together after they were supposedly married. That coupled with the fact Van isn’t her father, I dug a little further and found something.” He won’t look at me.
“What?” I ask.
“You’re going to want to sit down,” Ryder says from behind us.
“Just tell me.” I’m too antsy to sit still for even a small amount of time.
“Hold onto her.” Nix stares at Foster, and I feel his hands on my shoulders.
“Jessica may not be your mother, either.” My legs give out from under me, and I’m swept up into the only solid pair of arms I’ll ever trust again.
“How?” I gasp. I’m short of breath and struggling to stay conscious as Foster sits down with me in his lap.
“Ry, grab her some water, will ya?”
“On it!”
Everyone just stares at me. I have no idea what’s going on or why.
First Van isn’t my father. Now, Jessica may not be my mother.
“Who am I?” The words are barely past my lips before I can feel myself getting so dizzy that I lose consciousness.
Foster
I think we’re all shocked by this newest revelation. But Evie? My sweet girl must be devastated. As soon as I
heard West’s tone, I knew it wasn’t good news, but I didn’t, for a second, think it was something so shocking.
“She alright?” Theo walks into the room with Ryder.
“Would you be?”
“Just asking, man.” He raises his hands and backs off as we sit and contemplate our next move.
“We need to go home. Don’t tell Van or Jessica. Something is going on, and I’d like to keep them all in the dark,” Nix orders, and everyone begins packing up. “Calling the boss,” he says as he walks out of the room.
“She gonna stay with you? Or do you want me to call Code and ask her to make up the spare room?” Ryder is one of the best men I’ve ever known, the fact he’s got himself such an amazing woman after going through hell is a minor miracle, and I don’t know anyone who deserves it more.
“I’m bringing her to my place,” I inform him. She’s going to need her own space, and the sooner she grows used to my house, the better.
When Tamara and I divorced, I never saw myself getting entangled with another woman again. Certainly not so seriously or so quickly. I’ve had my fun over the years, but nothing has lasted past a couple dates and jumps in the sack.
With Everett, it’s easy to picture the future with her. Love, marriage, and even babies. She makes it easy. She thinks she’s vulnerable, weak. All I see is strength and resilience, and that’s what keeps pulling me back to her. Even when she’s trying to push me away.
“We roll in five,” Nix says as he walks past me.
“Come on, baby, open those pretty eyes for me,” I whisper in her ear. I don’t want her waking up mid-flight and panicking. Even though she's agreed to come with me, I don’t want to frighten her.
“Tell me it isn’t true,” she mumbles, turning her head into my chest. “It can’t be true.” Pain vibrates through her entire frame.
“I wish I could, baby, I really do.” If I could take all her agony away, I would. In a heartbeat. She’s handled enough for one person.
“There has to be a good reason, right? They wouldn’t keep this from me for so long without one, would they?”
I can’t answer her because I don’t know what goes through a person’s mind with a situation like this.
“Let’s get you packed up,” I suggest instead, standing and letting her feet slide to the ground.
Everett nods her head but doesn’t say anything as she walks to her room, stopping to stare at a picture on the wall of her and the people she always believed to be her parents.
“I get him, it makes sense, but Mom? I never would have guessed.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing? She obviously loves you, don’t ever doubt that. We’ll figure this out, Evie.” With a hand on her hip, I lean forward and kiss the top of her head. Her struggles are only beginning, but we’re going to get her to the finish line.
Everett
I hate flying. I hate it even more when I’m on emotional overload. Van not being my parent was so much easier to accept and process than Mom.
She’s always been a great mother. The best a girl could ask for. I never, in a million years, would have suspected anything of this magnitude. I don’t even want to now. I feel betrayed. Lied to. I’ve never doubted anything about myself before, but now, I’m questioning everything.
Who am I?
Where do I fit in life?
Why?
I’m the only one who can get or give answers to the first two questions, but Jessica and Van can fill in the last one.
There’s an emptiness in my chest that makes my entire core ache to the bone, and I have no idea how to alleviate the pain.
We’ve been in the air for a couple of hours now, and everyone is leaving me alone except Foster. He’s given me my space, but not once has his gaze left me. Each time he attempts to stand, Weston or Nix grabs his arm and forces him back into his seat.
It’s plain to see that he wants to be here for me, comfort me. Except, I don’t want that. I want my emotions to fester and grow. I want my anger to cloud my judgment because the minute I can get Van on the phone, I’m going to unleash on him and let him feel exactly how I am right now.
Ryder has done something to my phone so that I can use it and not be tracked, and I’ve been staring at the text message Mom sent me before we left the house. I only sent her a quick response to say that I was leaving and couldn’t tell her where or when I’d be back.
Truth be told, I don’t know if I’ll be back.
I don’t know if I want to.
The tears have silently streamed down my face since we became airborne, and I haven’t been able to stop them. I’m sure I don’t look pretty right now, but I don’t care. How am I supposed to ever be the person I was yesterday after my world has been ripped apart for the second time in months?
I want nothing more than to go back in time. Never discover the secrets I have, never go to Mexico.
Never meet Foster.
He’s the only thing I won't regret.
Even while pushing him away, I knew he would be here for me, and he's proved it. The moment he showed up yelling for me, I knew I would never let him go. I just wasn’t ready to admit it.
Now, I’m on my way to the east coast. A place I only visited for the first time a few weeks ago to get answers that never materialized. My life is changing, and I’m having a hard time keeping up with it.
“Chaos, don’t do it.” I hear the growled words and turn to see Foster storming towards me.
I’m in his arms before I can take my next breath, and it's then I realize I’m openly sobbing. My chest aches because I can’t take a full breath, and my eyes burn from so many shed tears.
“I’m here, baby.” I used to hate that term of endearment. Now, I crave it. Only from him, though.
“Why does it hurt so much?” I hiccup as he sits down. A groan rattles his chest, and I know he’s hurting. He cracked his ribs when he was shot, and guilt assaults me at how cavalier I must have sounded when he texted me.
“How can you want anything to do with me? I’ve been so mean.”
“Shh. Get some rest. It’s gonna be a while before we have a minute to breathe.” He’s so strong, steady.
I wish I could be more like him.
9
Foster
Charleston, West Virginia
I stayed away too fucking long. I should have sat with her the minute we boarded the plane, but fucking Nix and West had convinced me she needed time to process and work through her emotions. Two hours of watching her cry and try to be so strong were like a lifetime of torture.
After I secured her in my arms, cuddled her into me, questions piled on top of more questions, and she finally exhausted herself into a tenuous sleep with no more answers than she had before.
Frankly, I don’t know how she’s still standing as we exit the plane and walk towards our waiting vehicles. Her eyes are red, her nose is puffy, and her cheeks are slightly dirty, but she’s never looked more gorgeous to me. With her wild hair and determined stride, I have no doubt Everett is going to cause some hell.
I look forward to doing it with her.
“Hey.” West jogs towards me. “Nix wants you to take Ev home, get a decent sleep and meal, and bring her to the training center tomorrow.”
Frowning, I ask, “What are you guys going to do?”
“Ryder is going to sift through the information Everett found and compare it to what we have. Your girl's a good little hacker, man. The rest of us are knocking on doors.” West smirks because he knows I’d be blowing them wide fucking open with a block of C-4 given the chance.
“Fine, but next time I’m not just going to knock, walls are coming down.” My friend nods and runs off to join the rest of our team as I lead Everett to my BMW.
“Nice car,” she sighs.
“You need one. Your shitty Acura doesn’t do jack for handling.” I’m still pissed she's been driving that damn thing around.
“Need a job first,” she mumbles. “Which obviously isn’t h
appening anytime soon since Everett Gaines probably isn’t even my real name.” Her chin wobbles as I open her door. She slides in on autopilot, and I lean over to buckle her seat belt.
“You are Everett Gaines. You’re just her with a twist, now.” I try to encourage a small smile from her.
Evie watches me with a sad intensity, and I know my words are lost on her. Eventually, she’s going to find her true identity, and it will determine who she becomes down the road. For now, though? She’s confused.
“A twist?” The way she says the words causes me to believe she’s trying them out to see how she feels about it.
Rounding the hood of the car, I slide behind the wheel and start her up. She purrs to life, and the smooth ride lulls Everett to sleep as we enter the city and head to the west side where my condo is.
I bought this place the day after I moved here six years ago. Nix and I spent a long time searching for the right place close enough to D.C. to become our headquarters, and after my divorce, I wanted something all my own.
Tamara had chosen our last house and decorated it in her own style. This was for me. It’s dark, bare, and straightforward. Exactly how I like it. I get the feeling that Everett may not.
Maybe I should dread showing her, especially because I need her to want this to be her home too, but I’m excited to see just how she’ll add her own touch. I’m hoping before long, it transforms into our space.
Pulling into the garage, I quietly grab our things as the door lowers behind us. Turning the lights on as I enter the house, I head straight for the coffeemaker and start a fresh pot. I want her to get some sleep, but I plan to do some digging of my own while she does so.
Moving to the bedroom, I make up the bed and turn on the lamp in the corner by the bathroom to a soft glow. I don't want Evie shocked to wake up in new surroundings. I then place her bag on top of the dresser.
With everything done, I make my way out to the garage again and slowly open the passenger side door. Unbuckling my girl, I cradle her legs and back in my arms and slowly lift her up, stifling my pain-filled groan as my ribs protest my actions. My steps are light as I head towards the bedroom, and she doesn’t even stir as I lay her down and remove her shoes.