by Payne, Jenna
I needed to back off, I couldn’t allow anything like tonight to ever happen again. Much as I didn’t like the idea of it, tonight would have to be a one off event that we would never speak of again.
*****
Ricky
I fell asleep with a massive smile on my face. Sex with Talia was literally the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I couldn’t wait to see where it would go next. Sure it was wrong, sure it was going to cause complications, but none of that mattered. We liked each other, we had an intense chemistry, and that was all I cared about.
But as I stepped down the stairs in the morning, expecting another flirtatious, sexually loaded conversation, Talia barely met my eye.
“Morning,” I said, smiling at her. “How are you feeling today?”
“Okay thanks,” she replied. Her eyes flicked everywhere, and at first I thought she was nervous that we might get caught. “Just… erm… going out in a bit.”
“Anywhere good?” I asked, still none the wiser. Out parents were asleep, we would be fine, but she continued to be cold.
“With friends,” she said. And with that, she left the room, leaving me behind, in the cold.
***
I could have taken that, I could have accepted it as a freak out, but as the time passed, her coldness towards me increased. She withdrew from me more and more, driving me to feel increasingly worse. I tried to talk to her alone, but she wasn’t having any of it. It was clear that she regretted sleeping with me and that she never wanted to speak about it again, and that really hurt.
I was far more upset than I should have been. In fact, I was pissed off all the time.
“You okay dude?” Slick distracted me. “You’re all weird.”
“Yeah, I just… I need a fucking break.” I smiled weakly at him. He waited patiently for me to say more, so I said the first thing that came to my head – one that would allow me to keep the reputation that I’d worked so hard to build. “Cassie’s back, I heard. So I guess, she’ll be wanting to hang out again.”
“Dude, Cassie’s hot as fuck!” Slick yelled. “Get back on her!”
I had no idea if Cassie really was back from her travelling excursions, but it was a good excuse as any. I knew my friends thought that she was gorgeous – which she was, but now that I had Talia, I wouldn’t even think about going near her again. But I couldn’t let people know that I’d been rejected.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I laughed. “Cassie is fit as all shit hot.” I continued with a hollow tone to my voice.
“So I guess we won’t be seeing you for a few days then!” he said with a chuckle. It gave me an idea. Maybe an escape was the right move for me. Maybe a time out would help.
“Yeah,” I answered distractedly. “You said it.”
*****
Talia
When Ricky vanished, I wasn’t worried at first. Despite the fact that Ricky had spent every single night here since my arrival, I didn’t think that it was too weird that he was nowhere to be found. Marie didn’t seem too bothered about it, so I assumed that I shouldn’t be either.
But by the time it got to day three, the anxiety was beginning to show, and by the time the week was up, and everyone was worried, I was in a full state of terror. I knew for a fact that it was my fault that he’d gone. Ricky had been trying to reach out to me, and I had been refusing to acknowledge him, forcing a wedge between us, hoping that he would take the hint and move on. The truth was I didn’t want to speak to him about it again because I couldn’t trust myself around him. He made my heart flutter in a way that I never expected, and I wasn’t convinced that I could control myself around him. So this turn of events was making me feel terrible.
Ricky had gone somewhere to get away from me, and I was starting to think that I should have never come back home. If I’d just stayed away, then none of this would have happened.
I should have explained my reaction to us, I knew that now, but hindsight was a terrible thing.
Marie had called all of Ricky’s acquaintances that she knew, including some friends with weird names like Ding and Slick. On top of that, I had contacted all of my friends too, but everyone’s answer seemed to be the same. Ricky was somewhere with his ex-girlfriend, the love of his life, Cassie.
I’d never heard a Cassie mentioned before, but why would I? He wouldn’t tell me about an ex if he was trying to get into my pants. What I couldn’t understand was I felt like I’d been pushing him away, and that he seemed to want to be with me, and now he was with someone else. It would make sense if he’d been blatantly playing me, but it really hadn’t felt that way towards the end.
When Marie couldn’t get hold of Cassie, I did something terrible. I looked her up online, just out of curiosity, but I instantly regretted it. The picture facing me filled me with an intense insecurity that I didn’t think I would ever be able to shake off. I couldn’t understand why he would have even considered me when he’d been with her. She was a true beauty. All long, blonde, shiny hair, perfect skin, symmetrical features… the sort of girl you could only dream of looking like.
While all of this was going on, the cracks in Marie and my dad’s relationship started to become apparent to me. Their obvious differences bubbled to the surface, and they started to argue like crazy. All the time. It was like living in a war zone, and every second it went on increased my guilt levels just a little bit further. I’d caused all of this, and now it had snowballed out of my control.
I started to wonder if maybe I should return to boarding school – my life wasn’t amazing there, but it was a good escape last time, maybe it could be again. I certainly didn’t feel like I could stay here another moment anyway.
*****
Ricky
I didn’t go to Cassie’s home, I never intended to really. I travelled back to my home town to spend some time with my dad. Mom hated dad because he had cheated on her throughout their relationship, and she wasn’t keen with me having anything to do with him. I had though, the whole time. Well, on and off anyway.
Things between us were strained too, because he was quite a selfish man and I had my own life to deal with, but I tried to keep things together a little bit, in case I ever needed him for something. Like right now.
Mom had never found anything out about us spending time together, and I fully intended to keep it that way. I didn’t need her nagging in my ear about what a shit he was – I was old enough to make my own decision about that one.
But the time hiding out in my dad’s box apartment was done. I needed to go home. I’d had my little tantrum, undoubtedly made my point – the hundreds of missed calls and messages on my phone suggested as much – and it was time to go home. The time out had made me realize that I had overreacted to Talia’s coldness because I liked her so much, and I clearly hadn’t given her the time that she needed to adjust to our new situation. I regretted the choice that I’d made, but I also hoped the time we’d spent apart had been enough space for her as well. I’d missed her like fucking crazy, and I only hoped that I would return to her feeling the same way.
If she didn’t, if she rejected me permanently, I would probably make the decision to return here forever, which sounded kind of shitty to me. I hadn’t really enjoyed my life here, and I’d enjoy it even less so knowing that Talia didn’t want me. But there was no way that I could stay with Mom and Norm and watch Talia move on. I needed her too much for that, and if she didn’t feel the same way, I couldn’t be around to witness it.
“Here goes nothing…” I muttered to myself as I swung my leg over my bike, ready to face the music.
*****
Talia
Another night, another house party. It seemed like that was all my super studious friends ever did now. I’d enjoyed it when Ricky had been here to keep me distracted, but knowing that he was out somewhere in the world hating me, it didn’t feel so good.
I needed to cheer up though, because in my mind this was a goodbye party. I hadn’t told anyone yet – n
ot even my dad – but as soon as the morning came around, I would be on the next bus headed back to boarding school. I would be back a couple of weeks early, but they were okay with that. That would give me the solitude I needed to get my head back together before the school year started. I figured that would take a while.
Luckily, it looked like I wouldn’t have to come back in a couple of months for the wedding either. The way that dad and Marie were arguing, it didn’t seem like they would ever get married. They were growing to despise each other more and more each day.
With a bit of luck, they would split up and Ricky would never have to see me again. I would hate that, but if that was what he wanted, I would respect that.
I was just getting to the point of feeling so sad that I was going to have to return home to weep into my pillow, when I spotted a face from across the room. One that was very familiar.
I pushed through the crowds, eager for a conversation that I knew was necessary. At least something good night be able to come out of this night after all. I tapped her shoulder, and watched her blonde hair shake as she spun around to face me. “Cassie?” I asked. She nodded, but simply gave me a confused look. “I’m Talia.” I sucked in a deep anxious breath, needing to hold it together for just a few moments. “I’m… my dad is marrying Ricky’s mom.”
“Riiight…” she said, looking none the wiser.
“Is Ricky staying with you?” I forced myself to ask, despite the jealousy it caused me. “Only, Marie is worried about him.” My heart was hammering loudly against my chest, and I prayed that she couldn’t hear it.
“No, I’ve only just got back today,” she said. Something about the genuine look on her face suggested that she was telling the truth. “I’ve been travelling for a while now. Why? Is everything okay?”
“Erm…” I glanced my eyes around the room, not really wanting to be overheard. “Not really. Things have got complicated, and he’s just vanished. He’s been gone for days now.”
“He’s probably gone to his dad’s,” she reassured me. “That’s where he always goes when he needs to get away for a while.
“Oh,” I replied quietly, feeling a bit small. It was weird to be confronted by someone who knew so much more about Ricky than I did. It made me feel insignificant in his life – a sensation that I didn’t like at all.
“Look,” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder in a reassuring gesture. “Ricky might have this reputation as a playboy, and a bad ass, but he isn’t like that at all. He’s a sensitive soul, and when things get too much for him, he needs an escape. That’s all. Don’t worry about him, he’ll be back. He always is.”
“Thank you,” I said. I smiled up at her. “I appreciate it.”
With that, I felt myself stumble from the party and out of the house. Cassie had given me so much to think about and I could no longer bear being around anyone – not even the people I considered friends.
I needed to go home, to think and to be alone. I’d been wrong to think anything negative about Ricky without getting to know him properly, and the consequence of that would be me losing him forever.
*****
Ricky
The sight I was greeted with when I walked through the door was not what I wanted one bit. Mom and Norm were out – which was good news – but so was Talia. I went up to her room, just to check that she wasn’t in, and found myself confronted with all of her packed bags. She was obviously going to be leaving again very soon, which didn’t leave me the time I needed to say all that I needed to say.
I intended to come back here with a flag of truce. I was going to suggest that we start again properly, and that we just be friends, but seeing her bags all packed had sparked something inside of me all over again. I couldn’t let her go – even if things between us were never going to be straightforward, I couldn’t give her up. Not yet.
I needed to fight hard, to make her mine.
I paced up and down the hallway for hours. I didn’t actually have Talia’s phone number – I’d never needed it – but I was sure that if I called Slick or one of the other guys, they would be able to tell me where nearest party was, which would surely lead me to wherever Talia was. But I didn’t want to be reunited with her in that way. I wanted to do it alone, in the privacy of home, where we could be ourselves and I could be fully open and honest.
But I was growing increasingly impatient.
Eventually, after what felt like forever, she crept through the doors, and unsuspectingly into my open arms.
“Oh my god, Ricky!” She cried out. “Where the hell have you been? Everyone has been so worried about you!”
I didn’t even give her another second to talk, and I didn’t answer her either. Instead I kissed her on the lips, needing to claim her all over again. Thankfully, she quickly melted into me, the time apart making her just as hungry and needy for me, as I was for her.
She no longer seemed bothered if we were going to get caught or not, which was new.
By the time we pulled apart, I was ready to confront her. “Talia, I saw all the bags in your room. Are you going?” She stepped away from me, her eyes fixed on the floor. She didn’t need to answer me, the sad expression on her face said it all. “Don’t go.” I pleaded. “Stay here, be with me.”
“How can I?” She asked, desperation in her expression. “How can we? It’s too complicated.”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, really wishing that I had all of the answers for her. “But I do know that I’m not ready to quit you yet.” I decided that the best way for me to deal with this was to tell the truth. “I’ve fallen for you, Talia. I know that makes no sense, we’ve only been in each other’s lives for a short while, and I know it’s complex with our parents… but when I really think about it, none of that matters. All I want is to be with you.”
I watched patiently, as her face went through a range of expressions. I held my breath as I waited for her to make her decision. This was it – fight or flee – and I had no idea which was it was going to turn.
But then she pressed her lips against mine, and all my worries melted away.
*****
Talia
His words had touched me deeply. What he’d said was exactly the way that I felt about him too, and I was willing to do anything to be with him. No one else had ever made me feel the way that Ricky had, and that felt like it was worth fighting for.
“Come on,” I whispered against Ricky’s lips. “Come to my room.” I no longer felt the need to make any snap decisions. I would choose what to do with my future in the morning, for now I only wanted to focus on him.
He followed behind me up the stairs, holding his hand lightly in mine. My heart was fluttering with excitement, as the butterflies in my stomach increased to the size of birds. I knew where this night was unexpectedly headed, and I couldn’t wait for that.
As soon as we got through my bedroom door, and we clicked it shut behind us, we started kissing once more, exploring one another’s bodies with the frenzy of people who had been kept apart for far too long. Knowing that we could finally be together in the way that we’d been so desperate for was as relieving as it was exciting.
He tugged my dress over my head, exposing my milky skin. As I watched him slowly remove his own t-shirt, showing me those mouth-watering abs, and take down his trousers, I decided to unhook my bra and slide down my own panties. I wasn’t normally so body confident, but under his scrutinizing lustful gaze, I felt powerfully sexy, and I wanted to embrace that.
He stepped me backwards and lay me on the bed sheets, before hovering over me and gazing lovingly into my eyes.
“You’re beautiful, you know?” he said, causing me the blush. I wasn’t sure that I could ever be considered beautiful, but it was nice to hear all the same.
Instead of replying, I took the bolt of bravery that was coursing right through me, and I trailed my fingers down his body, taking him in my hand. He’d given me such pleasure last time that I really wanted to be able to do the s
ame for him.
He gasped in shock, looking at me like I was a real unexpected treat. I ran my hands over him, getting a feel of what he liked, what did it for him, what caused his arms to tremble above me. He stared into my eyes the entire time, showing me an intense hooded look of desire.
“Oh, that’s amazing,” he panted, a tremble in his tone.
In the end, he held onto my hand gently and moved it away, kissing me with all the passion of a man that has been brought way too close to the edge. I felt amazing to be able to do that to him to be able to send him so wild. I couldn’t believe that I was having such an effect on such a strong, sexy and powerful man.
He moved his lips down my body, kissing all the way down my stomach. At first, I wondered where he was going, until his mouth found my center, and he made everything clear. As his mouth claimed me, I gasped out in shock, unable to believe the effect that he was having on me. His tongue was flicking everywhere and I almost didn’t know what to do with myself. He was sending me over the edge, and I needed him now.
“Stop,” I gasped, gripping onto his shoulders. “I need you.”
“You don’t need to tell me twice,” he grinned, as he plunged his penis far into me, sending an explosion of sensations flying through my body.
I cried out in ecstasy, causing him to slap his hand over my mouth.
“Shh,” he laughed. “We don’t know if we’re alone.” I was pretty sure that we were, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to risk it just in case.
“Oh fuck,” Ricky cried out, as he rode me. “You feel so amazing.”
As the orgasm rocked through my body, and I thrashed and buckled beneath him, Ricky kissed me lightly, holding me, supporting me. I felt so good.