The trip back to the house from the beach is longer than usual, as if walking away from the dream to the reality edging back in.
CHAPTER 27
CERYS
We arrive home in Liam’s black Alfa Romeo; I wish he’d choose something less conspicuous when he parks outside my tiny house. He kills the engine and I sit for a moment, summoning up the motivation to get out. How long before Craig appears?
“You okay?” he asks, closing a hand around mine.
“Tired.”
“Not as tired as your snoring princess,” he says with a smile.
Ella again insisted on wearing her princess costume for travelling. Her new favourite is Elsa and she now complains she wants blonde hair. I explain there’s a lot in life we’d like, but can’t have, a lesson to be reinforced now we’re home.
Liam carries Ella in, and then goes back for suitcases. I fill and switch the kettle on, straight back to my daily routine without thinking. We could be an ordinary couple returning from a brief holiday and part of me would give everything for Liam to be an ordinary man.
I’m dozing on Liam’s shoulder, sitting together on the sofa in the lounge when the doorbell rings. Liam mutters something and I shake myself awake.
“That better hadn’t be Craig!”
“Who else would it be?” asks Liam. “I’m surprised he wasn’t at the bloody airport.”
“Ella’s asleep though.”
Craig switches to banging on the door. “I doubt for much longer,” says Liam. “Do you want me to answer?”
“No!”
The Craig on the doorstep isn’t one I want to deal with right now; he has the stiff stance and darkened brown eyes I’ve seen in arguments in the past.
“Nice tan,” he says as he pushes into the house. “Where is she?”
“Asleep. The time zones mess with her and she’s tired.”
As he sees Liam, Craig pulls himself straighter and crosses his arms.
“Hello, Craig,” says Liam but there’s nothing friendly about his tone.
“I didn’t think he’d be here.”
“We haven’t been here long; Liam dropped us home.”
“So he’s going now?” asks Craig pointedly. “We have things to talk about.”
“I’m too tired to argue with you right now, Craig.” I sit back onto the sofa next to Liam. “Come back tomorrow.”
“I came to see my daughter.”
“She’s asleep!”
“I’m sure she wants to see her dad.” He heads toward the stairs, calling her name.
“For fuck’s sake,” mutters Liam. “Do you want me to get him to leave?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe you should make yourself scarce while I sort this out.”
“I don’t think so; I’m not leaving you with a man behaving like this.”
“He won’t do anything to me, he’s not violent.”
“You don’t have to be violent to hurt someone, Cerys.”
“Wait there,” I tell him and follow Craig.
Mentally, I’ve prepared for this, but I shake with anger at Craig’s behaviour. Before he gets to the top of the stairs, I grab his arm. “Craig! Be reasonable!”
He yanks his arm from my touch. “Me? You took her away…with him!”
“For two weeks! You’ve had two weeks where you haven’t seen her before,” I hiss. “Remember Christmas?”
“Oh right, throw that at me!”
“Look, let’s go downstairs before we wake Ella up and upset her.”
“No. I need to see her and make sure she’s okay.”
“Okay? What do you think we’ve been doing to her?”
“I don’t know, but I didn’t like seeing her picture all over the place with you and him playing happy fucking families!”
I step back down a stair, incensed by his language. “This is what it’s about! Liam’s right. You’re just being territorial. You don’t care about Ella!”
“Don’t you fucking dare!” he yells. “I’m her dad!”
I could say so much more but I know those words have already pushed him too far. The look he gets that frightens me, the one where I’m unsure if violence is far away.
“Fine. Go and see her.” I turn to walk away.
“Stupid bitch,” he mumbles.
I spin round. “What the hell did you just call me?”
“I called you a stupid bitch,” he says. “You’re deliberately trying to keep her away from me. Well, you can’t!”
“Don’t speak to me like that!” I yell back.
Ella appears at the top of the stairs, bleary eyed and brown hair sticking up around her head. “What’s happening?”
My heart sinks at her life rewinding, witnessing her mum and dad’s intolerance, the one that borders on hatred these days.
“Nothing, baby,” I say.
“Hey, Ella!” Craig switches to sweet and gentle mode as quickly as he turned anger on me. “I missed you.”
“Why are you fighting?” she asks.
“Daddy is upset about your holiday,” I say.
“Why?”
“I think Daddy wishes he’d gone, too.”
Craig looks at me sharply. “Very funny, Cerys.”
“Daddy missed you, that’s all. I think he should come and see you tomorrow, though.”
Ella chews her lips. “I’m tired.”
“See?” I hiss.
“Give me some time with her now,” says Craig. “Then I’ll go.”
“Is that okay, Ella?”
Ella nods. “I have lots to show him.” Oh, great, she’s going to pull out every souvenir she got from Disneyland.
Reluctantly, I return to the lounge. Liam is in the doorway, arms crossed tightly and jaw hard. “I am this fucking close to smacking that guy,” he says, holding his fingers a centimetre apart.
“That wouldn’t help,” I say, relieved he didn’t hear what Craig called me. If he had, I doubt Craig would be upright anymore.
“I know. A couple of arrests for assault and you soon learn self-control.”
“I can’t imagine you getting arrested for assault!” I say with a half-laugh.
He looks at me curiously. “Maybe I was young and stupid; maybe I hide it well. But if that dickhead so much as…”
I stroke his face. “He’s not worth it.”
Liam pulls my hand away. “I’m going into the garden until he leaves. If you need me, come and get me.”
Ten minutes later, I take the empty mugs into the kitchen and look out of the window. Liam rests against the wall of the house, legs outstretched and staring at the ground. My reality is as big a shock to him as his is to me. A new doubt appears. What if Liam can’t cope with this situation and it’s that one step too far removed from his world?
I rinse the mugs under the tap, and then step into the garden. The cooler English summer is a relief after the muggy heat of California, but that’s the only good thing about being back here. Liam looks up as he hears the door close.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“No.”
“Come back inside.”
“I can’t go back inside because I still want to punch that dickhead. Tell me when he’s gone.”
But it’s more than that. “What’s wrong?” I lean on the wall next to Liam and take his hand, running my fingers along the callouses from his years of bass playing.
“You shouldn’t stay in this house,” he says.
“We talked about this.”
Twisting so he can look at me, Liam says, “He still has a hold over you if you’re living here. Move out.”
“Where to? This is mine and Ella’s home.”
“I told you before, I’ll buy somewhere.”
“And I said no.”
“Fuck, Cerys!” shouts Liam and I step away, crossing my arms. “Sorry. Shit though, why won’t you let me help out?”
“I’d only be swapping relying on one person for another.”
“You mea
n you want to keep your distance from me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I told you how I feel, how much I care about you and Ella; and I want to take care of you. This situation is bad for you; it’ll stop you moving on.”
He’s right. I know he is, but things are early on in this relationship. I run my hands across the brickwork and look around the small garden that’s been my home since Ella was born. I moved from my parents to here and Craig; I’ve always relied on somebody else.
“When I get a job, I’ll move. I can pay my own way,” I tell him.
“When? And how long will it take you to save for a deposit?” Liam grabs my hand. “Him. Upstairs, barging into your house like it’s his God-given fucking right. The Cerys I know wouldn’t put up with that.”
“Liam, I’m tired, I don’t want to argue with you.”
“You know what? Fuck it. I’m buying a place. You can move in or stay here, up to you. Pay me rent if it bothers you that much!”
I stare back into his reddening face, aware of that anger that bubbles below the surface. This anger isn’t with me though; it’s with the man upstairs.
“Are you asking me and Ella to move in with you?” I ask quietly.
Confusion replaces the anger. “What?” He rubs his head. “Yeah, I guess I am. Does that make it any better?”
“I’m not sure. If it doesn’t work out then...”
“Cerys!” he half-yells again and grabs my face. “Did you listen to a word I said on the beach yesterday? This is going to work. We were meant to find each other again! I know you believe that too. I love you. Even if you end this, I’ll always look out for you because before all this, you were my sister’s best friend and a good person.”
I drop my shoulders and my guard, knowing everything he tells me is true.
“Okay, sorry. I’ll think about it carefully.”
“Jesus!” Liam bangs his head against the bricks.
Liam pulls me toward him where he’s resting on the wall and shuffles down so his eyes are at the same height as mine. “I admire your strength, Cerys. I’ve said that before. I get that your life is a confused mess at the moment, and I don’t want to make it worse. I can put this simply. Again. I love you. I care about Ella. I will protect you both whether you like it or not. Do you understand?”
Sighing, I wind my arms around his neck. “You can be very bossy sometimes.”
Liam nudges my nose with his. “And I know you like it sometimes.”
“Sometimes...”
Craig forgotten about, we stand in the garden of the house I know I’ll leave behind, and I kiss the man I would leave my whole world behind for.
CHAPTER 28
CERYS
Liam buys a place close to Phoebe’s, in one of the newer estates away from the scruffy terrace I live in now. Of course, it’s the nicest house in the area, one that’s been on the market too long because of the price. He protests he has to buy somewhere quickly and this was the best option, and I’ve given up fighting him over this.
The place is beautifully decorated with thick carpets and expensive fittings, including a dream kitchen with every appliance I could imagine.
Moving day is the first day I see the place, and Liam leads me around the already furnished house until we get to the master bedroom. I swear he’d had an interior designer in to co-ordinate the expensive brown and grey Jacquard linen and curtains, positive Liam Oliver would not buy the carefully contrasting cushions and wall art.
I push open a door at the opposite end of the large room. “En suite.”
“Not a big one,” he says.
I can’t hide my amazement. “But en suite. I’ve never lived anywhere with an en suite.”
Liam runs a finger along my nose. “I forget how you common people live sometimes.”
“Cheeky!” I slap his chest and he grabs my backside, kissing me hard.
“Do you like the house?” he asks.
“Of course, your new house is beautiful.” The despairing look edges into his eyes but I ignore him. “Thanks for letting us stay.”
“Cerys,” he growls.
“Can we bring some boxes in now?” With Ella at Phoebe’s for the afternoon, I’m eager to get the house sorted enough to make her bedroom look as close to her old one as possible.
“Sure, soon, there’s something I need to do first.”
I’m about to ask him what, but I don’t need to. When he runs a hand along my side, and cups my breast, it’s clear he didn’t bring me into the bedroom to show me the en suite.
“I haven’t seen you for a week,” he whispers, then kisses the hollow of my neck
“There’s so much to do,” I reply, knowing I’m fighting a losing battle with myself and with Liam as he unhooks my bra.
“Oh, yes, you’re right there.”
“Jesus, Liam you don’t waste much time.”
He unbuttons the old blue shirt I’d chosen for moving in, so slowly that each time his finger brushes my skin a new surge of desire joins. A week away from Liam makes the physical need for him stronger each time. He drops the shirt and bra onto the floor.
“I missed you,” he says, circling my nipple with his thumb. “I’ve missed every single part of you.” Liam’s hands go to my jeans and he undoes the button. “Get undressed.”
“No,” I say with a smile.
“Cerys, don’t tease me because you know it makes things worse.”
I drag my fingernails across his tight abs and undo his buttons too. “Wrong, it makes things better.”
Liam finishes undoing my jeans and, with a well-practiced move, he pulls them down and traces a finger along my panties before slipping a finger between the cotton and skin. The sensation weakens my legs and I moan, so he catches me with his hips, pinning me to the wall. His fingers find my wet heat and my body flares to life as he glides his thumb against my clit.
I’m lost. Whenever we’ve been apart, the Liam who returns has a desperate hunger that overtakes him the first time we get skin on skin, and this Liam turns me on as much as it does him.
Liam pulls me toward the bed, pulling me onto his lap and closing his mouth around my breasts, flicking a tongue across my nipple. “I fucking missed the taste of you.” Liam moves a hand back to my damp panties and I press myself against his palm. “I think you missed me, too,” he says.
I push my fingers into his long hair and hold his face against me, relishing the feeling of his attention to my breasts. His kisses get rougher, sucking and tugging at my nipples; and I moan as I push myself against his hand, desperate for more.
“Fuck!” Liam unbuckles his jeans and lifts me up as he shucks them to the floor, as I wrap my arms and legs around him as he does. When he sets me back on his lap, his cock slides against the fabric of my panties. Liam pulls my head back by the hair and nips my neck, the way he always does to indicate gentle isn’t coming soon. I whimper at the sensation, keeping my head back as he drags his face across my neck and shoulders, the nipping getting harder.
Cotton rips as Liam pulls apart my underwear and lifts me, easing his fingers inside my wet centre. Sensation shivers through every part of my being as he skilfully spirals me higher, stroking and teasing me. “Definitely missed me,” he murmurs and withdraws his fingers.
I moan at the loss of him and he repositions himself, pressing himself at the edge of my sex. Holding my hips, he slowly lowers me onto his his thick length. I dig my fingers into his shoulders and attempt to slide back up but he holds me steady.
“Not yet.”
“Liam…” I attempt to move but his fingers bite into my hips.
“Stay there.”
He holds and watches me with hooded eyes of arousal, enjoying my frustrated rocking against him.
“Tell me what you want, Cerys,” he says.
“You… Liam…Please.”
“You’re so fucking hot,” he whispers, closing his mouth around my nipples again, sparking more toe-curling arousal. �
��What do you want?”
Teasingly, he slides me upwards, before pushing me back down onto him. Hard. I gasp, hoping this is it, but he doesn’t move again.
“Liam!”
“I want to hear you say it, or I won’t.”
“You’re unfair!” I gasp and sink my teeth into the soft material of his T-shirt, wishing he wasn’t protected from my mouth by the barrier of cotton.
“I can be meaner.” Liam pushes his thumb against my clit again, circling until my mind melts. He wins.
“Fuck me, Liam,” I say breathlessly.
“With pleasure.” He digs his hands into my backside and pulls me upwards, lowering me again so slowly I want to scream at him, the slide of his length inside liquefying my insides further.
I grip his hands and we move together until I change the pace, Liam guiding my hips as I slide repeatedly onto him, the pleasure scorching through to my soul. My nipples brush his hard chest, pushing me further toward the apex I know will shatter me. The blinding explosion in my head courses through every nerve ending and I sink against him, wave after wave of bliss engulfing me.
Liam pushes me down hard and moans, sinking his teeth into my shoulder as he comes. I shudder further and grip his hair, loving that I do this to him. I make Liam Oliver behave like this.
He sinks back on the bed and I roll off him, trembling, and glowing. Liam drags my head toward him and kisses my face. “I will never get tired of the incredibleness of fucking you.” He touches my shoulder. “Sorry about the bite.” But he’s not.
“Asshole. I just got rid of the last bruise.” I flick his nose.
Liam smirks his smug smirk, and buries the back of his head into the sheets. I rest my head on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat and splaying my hand against his stomach.
“Welcome to your new home,” he says.
****
Liam is back and forth between the States and the UK. For somebody taking a break he works a lot. Music is an integral part of Liam, I get that, but the selfish part of me would like him around more. Blue Phoenix has a tour to complete next year; what happens then? Liam gets frustrated with my inability to live in the moment, but how can I not?
Unplugged: A Blue Phoenix Book Page 19