by K. F. Breene
“She’ll come out of it, captain.”
Cayan glanced to the side, where Kallon and Rohnan sat together with many of their people. While Shanti slept, they refused to, keeping vigil.
“She will not leave us now,” Rohnan said, sounding hopeful. “She fulfilled her duty, and now she will commune with the elders in the deep sleep. When they send her back to her mortal body, it will be into the new world she has created. It will be with their blessing, forgiving her for all the sorrow she had to cause in order to bring this around.”
“I didn’t realize he was so religious, but now I’m glad of it.” Lucius ran his fingers through his hair. “What are the next steps, sir? So I can plan.”
“As soon as the seafarer has the docks and lowering system fixed,” Cayan said to Lucius, finally looking away, “we’ll transfer the wounded and whoever else will fit onto his ships. He’ll take us up to Clintos. Sanders can lead the rest out of the swamps and travel to meet us.”
“Should we not take them to a port a little closer?”
“Seafarer says that Clintos is a fortified city. They have eradicated all the Graygual, and anyone who isn’t siding with Shanti or the Shadow. It’s the safest place. With it being only a couple more days, max, it’s worth the risk.”
Cayan paused, willing the courage for more bad news. “What of the wounded in the Honor Guard?”
Lucius’ eyes went downcast. “Leilius and Alexa are barely hanging on. Marc is taking a lot of care with them. The Shadow healers that Esme sent in are helping with the others. Boas appears to be out of danger. He’s already joking about the scar he’ll have on his cheek.”
Cayan blew out a breath, sadness pulling at him. He nodded, not able to ask about any more. If he wallowed in the loss, it would drown him. Instead, he turned back to the tent and resumed his seat, waiting.
23
Shanti came to consciousness slowly. The smell of the sea calmed her, reminding her of home. She fluttered her eyes open and found herself in a humble room with a rocking chair in the corner and another chair pulled up next to the bed. The shades were drawn over the window, but behind them sunlight was trying to force its way in.
She wiggled her toes and fingers. It was a good sign that she could. Next she shifted within the light and airy sheets. Her muscles groaned in protest.
Voices sounded outside the door, low and urgent. Shanti let her Gift unfurl, pushing through the room, then expanding across the city. The spicy feeling of her Joining with Cayan simmered up, warm and delicious. She felt the answering throb of his power, feeling hers and wanting to play.
The voices outside stopped. The door swung open, showing a drawn and pale Cayan with desperate relief coating his face. Shanti saw him take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You had me worried,” he said.
“You, a man, admitting to being worried? Wow. You must’ve been out of your skin.”
His lips tweaked up into a smile. The tightness around his eyes, and within his shoulders, eased. “You weren’t getting any better.”
“Was it poison?”
He entered the room stiffly and took a seat by the bed. Rohnan stepped in after him, calm yet appearing exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes. Kallon followed, entering the room enough to scoot along the wall and take up residence. He, too, had deep purple bags.
“Yes. Some sort of root.” Cayan didn’t seem to notice the others. His eyes were roaming her face. “One of the Inner Circle Graygual told Ruisa what it was as he was escaping.”
“One.”
“One of the Inner Circle Graygual, yes.”
“No, I mean, it was One. The man I had you take over fighting?” Shanti watched dawning light his eyes. She nodded. “You let him get away, huh?”
Fire kindled Cayan’s look. “If he’d stayed and fought, like the higher-leveled Graygual usually do, I would’ve killed him.”
“Which is probably why he ran.” Shanti twisted and flexed, making sure everything was working properly. She glanced under the sheet and smiled. “No sickbed nightgown in his hospital, huh?”
Cayan grinned. “Despite Marc’s insistence, no. It has not been so long that I have forgotten how you’d prefer to be treated.”
“Why wear a sheet in a bed covered in sheets?” Kallon asked. “It makes no sense. Your people are very prudish.”
“At least we’re back to trivial matters.” Cayan stretched and rubbed his neck. His gaze came right back to her face. “You were out for three days.”
“And where am I now?”
“Clintos. We arrived late last night. This is the finest inn in the city. And though I’ve tried to pay several times, the innkeeper won’t let me. For you, anyway. The Wanderer will be taken care of wherever she goes. Or so he says.”
“I see. I really could’ve used that when I was first running from Xandre.” A heavy weight settled on her chest. She let her head fall to the side where Rohnan sat in the corner, rocking placidly. “I killed him.” She looked at Kallon and found pride. “I killed Xandre. The Being Supreme. I did it. I fulfilled my duty.”
Tears came to her eyes. Rohnan’s eyes glossed over, too. Cayan took her hand.
She couldn’t believe it. All her life, she never thought she’d actually see this day. Even when hope glimmered, she thought that she’d die to succeed. And here she was, with the man she loved by her side, with her loved ones in the room with her, alive.
Unfortunately, it came at a cost. “How many did we lose?” she asked Rohnan. She couldn’t celebrate the victory without mourning the lost.
Rohnan’s face fell. Kallon’s hardened. “Two from our group,” Rohnan said. “And five more from the larger battle on the other side of the swamp. We burned them in a pyre after the battle, and carry their ashes with us. We’ll release them among the trees of the Westwood Lands, I think. In our new home. The Shadow will be doing the same.”
Shanti stared for a minute with her heart in her throat. Her eyes burned again, for a different reason. “You’ve chosen that as your home? You won’t be going back?”
“We’ve chosen you as our home, Shanti.” Rohnan smiled with the name change. She was no longer the Chosen. That duty had been fulfilled. Nor the Wanderer. Since finding Cayan, she was no longer lost. “We have sent for the children. Seafarer and his crew will take trusted men and secure them. The seas are safer than land, still. It’ll take longer, but we’ll compensate them well. If they’ll take it.”
Shanti smiled with Rohnan talking about compensation, since he had not one gold piece to his name that didn’t come from Cayan. She bet those words even came from Cayan. She said nothing, though. She’d saved a land, but it would’ve been futile if she didn’t also save the children.
“Sanders? The Honor Guard?”
Shanti noticed Cayan’s eyes dim. He patted her hand. “When you’re better we’ll see everyone. Rest.”
“I’ve rested for three days.” She threw back the cover and swung her legs to the edge of the bed. Her head swam. She shrugged off Cayan’s hand and stood, reaching for the bedpost to keep herself upright.
“Now I see why Marc and the doctor are always so annoyed when trying to heal you.” Cayan stood to steady her, jealousy on a low burn. He didn’t like her being nude with other men around. It was nice that he was trying not to show it.
“You guys can sleep. I see you haven’t had much. Sleep, and when you wake, we’ll go home to put the lost to rest among the trees.” Shanti paused when she found two piles of clothing. One was a frilly dress as ugly as it was bright, and one was a pantsuit of a pale blue, an overly feminine rendition of Cayan’s army’s uniform.
“The Shadow Lord is of the mind that you should play the part of the victorious Wanderer,” Cayan said, his eyes twinkling again. “They left it up to you to choose.”
“No.” Shanti pushed them both away. “I want what I always wear. They can take it, or get a punch in the mouth.”
Cayan laughed and nodded at Rohnan, who went
to the corner and came back with clothes she could move in. She gratefully strapped on her weapons and felt the pinch of hunger.
“Sleep. All of you. I’ll be fine—” She paused. “What of Tac?”
Cayan stiffened and told her about Burson’s involvement with him, and his final words on Tomous. “He’s being held right now. He is not protecting his mind from Rohnan or anyone else.”
“He’s waiting for you to kill him,” Rohnan said solemnly. “He desires it. He’s suffered for a long time, in the presence of the man responsible for killing his loved ones.”
“Do we grant him peace, or do we help him to recover?” Shanti asked.
“I gave him a knife,” Kallon said. “He can grant his own peace, or he can harden up and keep going. Like we have.”
“Don’t come looking to the Shumas for sympathy.” Shanti sighed and gave Cayan a kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Everyone started. “Where will you go?” Rohnan asked, concern radiating from him.
“By the way you all look, tomorrow might be too soon.” Shanti walked out the door before they could protest.
Her first destination was one she wasn’t looking forward to. She tracked Marc down the hall of the—very clean—inn and to a room at the back. No one walked in the halls, and she didn’t hear any laughter or shouts filtering up from the common area. She could not remember ever being in an inn that quiet.
Of course, she’d never been in an inn where the bannister looked brand new and the floors didn’t have a scrape on them…
She knocked softly and waited until the door opened, revealing a face as tired as the others she’d seen. Marc’s eyes lit up and he surged out and threw his arms around her. “You’re alive. I was getting worried.”
“Do I have you to thank?”
Marc stepped away with a red face. “No. Ruisa. And that Graygual.”
“Who are you doctoring in here?”
His face fell. He stepped aside and allowed her to enter the large room. The wounded lined the walls, many with bandages, a couple moaning. Her heart sank as she made her way around, touching a shoulder, and smiling at another. Many she didn’t recognize, as they were Shadow who had not traveled with her, and a few were faces from her past, whether from her homeland or the practice yard in the Westwood Lands.
She spoke to everyone awake and laid her touch on those asleep. Finally, she arrived at Alexa, who lay with her eyes dazed and her stomach heavily bandaged. Next to her sat Xavier, a bandage around his leg and his face pained.
“What happened?” Shanti asked, wrapping her Gift around Alexa.
“The escaped Graygual threw a knife into her stomach. He could’ve killed her. Nearly did. He wanted her to quit using her Gift.” Xavier stared at Alexa’s face. “I should’ve done something.”
“Looks like you tried to.” Shanti indicated his leg. “That is more than many would’ve done.”
“We are monitoring for infection,” Marc said, standing behind Shanti. “I’ve done all I can do. She’s a fighter, though. She’s strong.”
“She’ll come out of it.” Xavier took a deep breath. He hunched a little. “She’s fierce. I’ve never met someone so fierce. She’s got something to prove. I know how she feels. She’s not like other girls.”
Marc inched away. Shanti laid a hand on Xavier’s arm. “Stay by her side. Give her support. Girls love that. She’ll get better.”
Shanti clenched her teeth and fists, willing the burning in her eyes to not turn to tears. Xavier was already close to breaking. Marc, too. They needed to see her strength and assurance. She needed to give it.
“And you?” she asked Xavier. “How is your leg?”
“It’s fine.” He shrugged it off.
“He keeps forgetting to change the dressings. I have to baby him so his leg doesn’t get infected and have to be cut off,” Marc grumbled. “That warning doesn’t seem to help, though.”
She moved on to Leilius, who slept soundly. He also had a bandage around his middle.
“He’ll be okay,” Marc said, shadowing her. “It was a deep cut, but nothing fell out or anything. His big danger was blood loss. But he’ll pull through.”
Shanti let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and nodded slowly, hating all the pain around her. She knew guilt wasn’t logical, that they were trying to free their homes and claim vengeance, but it didn’t mean she didn’t feel it.
“Keep me updated,” she told Marc, backing away. “If you need any help, let me know.”
“There are Shadow healers that change places with me.”
“I wasn’t asking for a debate.”
Marc hung his head. “Sorry, S’am.”
Outside the door, she took a moment to compose herself. It was at that moment that she saw Burson. He was walking away from her, but stopped suddenly and looked back. Indecision crossed his face until he turned and made his way toward her.
“Shanti,” he said in a soft voice. “I wanted to apologize for the part I played in all of this, while at the same time expressing to you that I acted in the way that, I believe, saved the most lives. I cannot be sure, of course, and every time I was around you, things changed dramatically without rhyme or reason, but our end goals were always the same. I want you to know that.”
“When did you think you’d die, out of curiosity?”
“I’ve seen my death in a number of ways. I prevented those that came before you met Xandre face to face, but afterward, I chose the best way to defeat him, which often had me dying early. I was ready. I’ve always been ready. I’ve always known that you were the key to my demise.”
“Yet you are still alive.”
“As I said, often plans change randomly around you. I still see my death, but each day, it gets further and further away.”
Shanti sighed and slipped her hands into her pockets, something she rarely did. “I don’t love the part you played, you know that. Cayan hates you for it. Sanders wants to wring your neck. But that is the problem with a Gift like yours. You had a duty, just like I did. I’ve caused people to die. So have you. Neither of us had a choice if we wanted to kill Xandre. I’m trying to come to grips with that. Trying to understand the guilt, and live with it. You’ll need to do that, too. It seems death will not save you from it.”
“It would’ve been easier if it had.”
She smiled. “I’ve thought the same thing once or twice. What will you do now?”
“Leave. Tonight. It is my turn to wander for a while. Maybe we’ll meet again.”
“Probably. You don’t seem like the lucky type.”
It was his turn to smile. “Very lucky in some ways. Not so in others. I think you have the same problem. Goodbye, Shanti. It was an honor being the one chosen to help you along your journey.”
She shook his hand so she didn’t accidentally lose control and strangle him with a hug, and watched him walk away. Heart heavy, yet again, she turned the other way, looking for a way down that wasn’t right behind him. It wasn’t until she was standing at the mouth of a large, bustling kitchen that she realized she’d taken a staff stairway. Steam rose from boiling pots, gravy splashed the table, and cooks moved around, heaping items onto plates and passing them off.
Shanti quickly moved through, apologizing.
“Hey!” someone shouted. “You shouldn’t be in here—”
“Is that the Wanderer?” A woman rushed forward and reached for Shanti’s face. Shanti slapped the hand away, but the woman was not having it. She reached again and captured Shanti’s chin. “The eyes. It’s the Wanderer!”
“Pardon me, miss. Pardon me.” A man bustled over, wiping his hands on his brown-smeared apron. “I am sorry. Please. Are you hungry? Let’s make you a plate.”
“Yes, get her a plate! What are you waiting for? Get moving.” The first woman, brandishing a spoon, waved the man away and smiled up at Shanti. “It is so nice of you to choose our humble inn. Truly, we are honored. Come. I’ll show you to your place.”
/> The woman ushered her out, but not before yelling over her shoulder, “She’s as thin as a rake. Make sure she has enough.”
Shanti received a pat as they entered the common room from the side. To the right was a grand bar with a shining surface and a jolly-faced barman. Tables dotted the floor below a high ceiling with artful wooden carvings. In the front of the space, card tables were mostly full, but the players, men and women both, bet and lost with good grace. Shanti did not hear one boast from the latest winner.
Dazed, she allowed the woman to sit her down at the large, round table in the middle. There the woman straightened up, clasped her hands in front of her, and said in a loud voice, “Can I get you anything to drink, Miss Wanderer?”
The movement in the room slowed, then stopped. Heads turned her way, eyes rounded.
“No, that’ll be all, thank you.” Shanti could feel her face burning. It took everything she had not to reach for her sword.
“Well, look who it is.” Sanders sauntered up as the cook cleared out. He had the same surly expression he always did. “The laziest one among us. How was your sleep? Restful?”
He took a seat at the table. Sonson and a tight-lipped Portolmous arrived a moment later, both with relieved expressions. That was, until Portolmous looked over her attire. His look turned sour quickly.
“You’re alive,” she said to Sanders. “Damn.”
“Can’t get rid of me that easy, try as you might.” Sanders rapped on the table with his fist, happiness radiating out from him, which in no way matched his continued frown. “Have you visited the wounded?”
“Hello!” The barman waddled up with a beaming smile. He rested his hands on his large stomach. “So glad you could join us, Miss Wanderer.” He glanced around the table, nodding, but his look returned to her quickly. “Our city is secure for you. We made sure of it. This inn is as safe as you can get, I assure you. We put great pride in maintaining our standards for nobility.”
Sanders sniffed.