“Like that?” he sighed, and I nodded my head, biting into my lip, desperate for more, for everything he could give me.
“Please,” escaped my lips, but it didn’t even sound like my voice.
His mouth pressed against my panties, and it felt like a bolt of lightning had shot through me. I’d never felt that before.
“Shhh...” he whispered.
My fingers went into his hair, grasping it as his lips pressed against me again. His fingers gripped the backs of my knees, and he tugged me forward, causing me to fall back on the bed.
He crawled over me and settled between my thighs. I could feel him, hard against me. His mouth hovered over mine, lips parted. His breathing was ragged, and it felt like my heart was going to beat its way right out of my chest. This time though, I wasn’t panicking in fear. I felt alive and desperate to be closer to him.
“Kiss me?” I asked, and before I could even get the words out, his mouth pressed hard against mine. It wasn’t gentle. There was hunger; a need, and I knew exactly what that was as his hips thrust down against me. I lifted mine to meet his movements, earning me a groan of pleasure as his tongue tangled with mine.
“I want you so fucking bad,” he rasped as his lips moved from my mouth, peppering kisses along my jaw before nipping the delicate flesh of my earlobe. His fingers were under my shirt, sliding against my ribs.
I closed my eyes, tilting my head back as I gave him better access. My own need growing inside me, desperate for something... more.
“You can have me,” I panted, feeling like I was on the precipice of tumbling over the edge of forever with him.
His mouth found mine again, but his kissing was slower now, the rock of his hips now steady, causing me to feel desperate. I looped my legs behind him, wishing that the thin scraps of fabric that kept us apart would disintegrate. I rocked against him as warmth radiated from my belly and spread like a white-hot light, pulsing between my legs.
I cried out, my nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders. His breathing was all I could hear; the heat of his flesh against mine was all I could feel. I was consumed by Ford, and it felt like the best kind of sin.
He pressed his lips one last time to mine before pulling back and looking me over with a slight smirk. Rolling to the side, it took me a moment to regain my composure before turning toward him.
“Wow. That was... Why didn’t we just... you know...”
He smiled, amused. “If you can’t even say it, we aren’t going to do it.”
“Why not just get it over with?”
He laughed, shaking his head. “It should be more special than that... than this,” he motioned around the dingy hotel room. “Than me.”
“What?”
I sat up, hating that everything I’d just felt was now wiped away. “Don’t talk like that Ford.”
“It’s true.”
“Maybe I don’t want something better.”
He laughed, rubbing his palm roughly along his jaw.
“You know what I mean.” I summoned all of my courage. “Maybe I want to be screwed by the heathen who lives across the street.”
A devilish smirk played on his lips as he looked me over. “You can’t say stuff like that.”
“Why?”
“Do you have any idea the things I want to do to you? I can’t stop thinking about it. You’re driving me crazy.” He laughed before tugging the ends of my hair gently.
“Like what?” I asked, my teeth digging into my lower lip.
His smile fell, his eyes darkening as he reached up and pulled my lip free with the pad of his thumb. I pressed my lips to the tip of his finger, and he groaned.
“Tell me,” I whispered.
“What brought that panic attack on?”
I sighed, aggravated that Ford wasn’t giving in. “I dunno. I was having this dream about being late for school and... it was so stupid,” I lied.
Brushing the hair back from my forehead, he gave me a weak smile. “It’s not stupid. You’re fifteen. Those are the things that are supposed to make you scared, not worrying about where we are going to stay or how we will make money.”
“I haven’t changed my mind, Ford.”
“I know you haven’t.” He pushed to his feet and held out his hand to me. I slid my fingers in his and let him pull me to my feet with little effort. “Go splash some cold water on your face. It will make you feel better.”
“I already feel better,” I whined, jutting out my lower lip to pout. He kissed the top of my head, and I reluctantly walked away.
I went into the small, dimly lit bathroom and ran the water in the sink as I looked over myself. Exhaustion was written all over my face, and my brain felt like it was zapping itself, a not so subtle reminder that I’d missed taking my medications.
My thoughts went to my mother and how mad she would be when she noticed I hadn’t taken them with me. I laughed to myself at how stupid that was, but my smile faded when I thought about my brother. I hated that my parents couldn’t see that he was hurting and needed help. He was probably laying in a hospital bed right now all alone.
“You okay?” Ford was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. He had pulled on a pair of jeans now, and they hung low on his hips, exposing a thick band of the blue from his boxers.
“I’m fine now. Thanks.”
He nodded, but his expression still showed how concerned he was. “The sun is up. You want to go for a walk?”
“Yeah. I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep anyway.” I shrugged before splashing some cold water on my face.
His gaze had dipped to my legs before he took a step back. “I’ll give you some privacy.” He disappeared. Leaving me alone with my guilt.
Pulling his shirt over my head, I inhaled deeply as the cotton slid against my face. The scent of Ford was growing addicting.
I rushed through a lukewarm shower, hating the tiny bar of soap that the hotel provided for washing. I missed my loofa and creamy scented washes.
The towel was well worn and had a lingering smell of bleach. I wrapped it carefully around myself, holding it tight to my chest so I wouldn’t accidentally give Ford a show.
He was perched on the end of the bed, his eyes glued to the news on the small television. He did a double take when he saw me, standing quickly as if he wasn’t sure what to do. My skin was covered in goosebumps from the chilly air of the room and water dripped from my hair to the dingy carpet.
“I could have brought you some clothes.”
“I should have remembered to take them with me.” I held my towel with one hand as I bent down, sifting through my belongings.
I settled on a tank top and jean shorts. Ford disappeared into the bathroom, and I quickly wrapped the towel around my long hair before pulling on my clothing. The fabric stuck to my still damp skin but it would feel nice when we ventured out into the muggy midmorning heat.
When he stepped out of the bathroom, he had a towel wrapped around his waist, but it was barely large enough to cover him. My eyes instantly went to the muscles near his hips that formed a V and disappeared below the swath of fabric.
“Do you mind? I’m not a piece of meat,” he joked, and I stiffened before spinning around to face the door to the outside.
“I’m sorry.” But I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. Just that site alone had made this entire trip worth it though I’d never tell him that. He didn’t need any more girls to stroke his ego.
“Don’t worry. I don’t blame you,” he whispered next to my ear, and I jumped as his hands came down on my shoulders. “Jesus, Emery, calm down. I’m just messing with you.”
“Yeah,” I spun around to face him before putting some distance between us. He was wearing his jeans now, but he still hadn’t put a shirt on. “I know. It’s just annoying,” I fumbled over my words, wishing I had said something more clever. But my mind instantly went back to the kisses we’d shared. I hadn’t been able to think about much else. It wa
s the first time I’d had any kind of sexual thoughts or feelings that weren’t accompanied by guilt.
All of this constant inner turmoil was beginning to get to me. I found myself missing the simpler times when all I needed to worry about was keeping my room clean. Being what I perceived as a typical teenager was exhausting.
Ford was hot and cold, and just when I’d think we are getting closer, he’d push me away. I wished I could talk to Bridget about how I was feeling, or even my mother. I never realized how much I relied on her guidance until I didn’t have it anymore, even if I kept my darkest secrets to myself.
A little girl is like a grapefruit.
That’s what my momma would tell me. Pretty, pretty pink and best when sprinkled with sugar. Each boy would take just a little bit of your sweetness, she’d say. If you give yourself to too many, you end up bitter.
Homespun southern wisdom grew on trees down here like Spanish moss. Hidden inside were little chiggers, bugs that burrowed under your skin and infested your body. See, momma didn’t realize it then, but her words would get under my skin too because I was already rotten inside.
“I thought we could venture a little further than the Quarter today if you’re up to it.” He pulled his gray shirt over his head before slipping on his socks and sneakers.
“Isn’t it kind of sketchy? You’re always telling me how dangerous it is.”
“I’ll be with you.” He smiled. “And I think most of the bad guys sleep until at least noon,” he joked, flashing me a lopsided grin.
“Let’s do it.” I grabbed my oversized sunglasses and slipped them onto my face as he shook his head.
He held out his hand, and I intertwined my fingers with his as we stepped out into the already too warm sun.
19
FORD
My eyes danced over the small, shoebox-shaped building in Tremé that was walking distance from the French Quarter, but it looked as though it was in a different country. The once vibrant blue paint was peeling off the exterior, and the screen door seemed to be only hanging on by one hinge.
“Ford Castille?” Emery looked at the name on the mailbox to me, her eyebrows drawn together. “What are the odds?”
I rubbed my hand roughly along my jaw. It had been a long time since I’d heard that name aloud. “It’s my name,” I admitted as I watched her try to figure out what was going on.
“Your name is Ford Beckett.”
“Beckett is my mom’s maiden name. We started going by it when she left my dad,” I nodded to the dilapidated building, “Ford Castille.”
Her expression fell, and the color drained from her face. “Ford, your dad lives here? The guy who used to beat on you and your mom?” She whisper-yelled as panic began to set in.
“Relax. He can’t hurt me now. He likes to pick on people much smaller and weaker than he is anyway. Besides, this place has been empty since Hurricane Katrina came through.”
“Why are we here?” I could tell she was worried that I was going to do something stupid. She didn’t know that I would have, had he been here.
“This is real life, Emery. This,” I raised my hands at the house, “Is all I could offer you.” I could see it all so clearly now. The fights and not giving a shit about anyone, myself included, was going to land me in the same shoes as my father. Sure, I would never lay my hands on a woman, but that didn’t mean I was going to end up as anything good. Now that I had someone else to take care of, I realized this wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be better for her. But it would never be what she deserved.
Her eyes had scanned the street before she looked down at her toes. I stepped in front of her, my fingers twitching with wanting to touch her. I reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear as she looked up at me, sadness in her eyes.
“You have a good life. And I know you think you need to go out and have fun and do stupid stuff... but you have forever to do those things.”
“With you?”
Her words caught me off guard, and I didn’t know how to respond. I wanted to lie and tell her that I would always be waiting for her because I would, but she deserved something better. I was selfish, but I wasn’t stupid. We were only kids.
“You’re not going to want me, trust me. But I will be waiting for an invitation to you and Prince Charming’s wedding,” I laughed sardonically, but she didn’t smile.
“Are you... are you taking me back home?” The hurt in her eyes felt like it was connected to a knife in my chest.
“No. Right now, I’m taking you to breakfast.”
Her face instantly brightened. “Good. Then let’s go get something to eat and figure out what we’re going to do next.”
“Next? Emery, who is going to hire a bunch of teenagers? We are about to be living out of my car, which I will end up having to sell to feed us.”
“Things will work out.”
“Things will work out?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes were wide and innocent, and I hoped that her little bit of time she’d spent with me didn’t dull any of that. She deserved every moment of the blissful naivety of childhood; every first that was ripped from her.
“Let’s get some food.” I conceded as I slid her hand into mine.
“Thank God. I was worried my new cause of death would be starvation.”
We made our way back to the Quarter. The entire walk, I couldn’t get her stupid book out of my mind. She didn’t think any of this through, not that I can say I thought when I ran off with the neighbor girl. But I, at least, had the sense to bring things that were important. She’d left her medicine and brought her homework.
I was so caught up in showing her how to live, I didn’t think about the dangers I was putting her in. The last thing I wanted was a tragic ending for her like that damn book. Emery didn’t need adventure, she needed safety, and that wasn’t something I knew how to provide. Hell, if I turned eighteen while we were gone, I could go to prison. I wasn’t entirely sure I wouldn’t be going already.
I treated Emery to beignets at Café Du Monde, and we spent the rest of the day seeing the sites. It felt like we had a giant clock counting down over our heads and I wanted to make sure that every second we spent here counted. By the time we arrived outside of our hotel room, we were both exhausted.
“I was thinking...” Emery’s smile was a mile wide, and I knew that she had enjoyed our day together as much as I had. Taking a girl out and showing her a good time was relatively new to me. If you had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said there was nothing for me to learn from someone like Emery. I was supposed to be teaching her how to live, and I had never felt more alive in my life.
“I thought I smelled smoke,” I joked, and she smacked me playfully on the chest.
“Very funny. I was thinking, why do we have to stay here?”
“You’re ready to go home?” I tried not to sound relieved even though I knew what that meant for us.
“No. Ford, I don’t want to go back. I want to stay with you.” Her smile disappeared. “I was thinking... we could go anywhere we want. We can go see Hollywood or go to an amusement park. I read that at the Magic Kingdom they have this whole Main Street thing with houses and stuff.” Her eyes lit up as she spoke, and it was hard not to get caught up in her excitement.
“And how would we pay for it?”
“We’d figure it out. Or... we could sneak in and just live there. I bet no one would even notice.” She bit down on her bottom lip like she did whenever she was nervous. I tucked her hair behind her ear, letting my fingers linger in the soft strands for an extra moment. I couldn’t look her in the eye and tell her no. Not when she was looking at me like that.
“I wish I could give you that,” I confessed. Emery stood up on her toes and pressed her mouth against mine. Catching me off guard and nearly causing me to lose my balance.
My arms circled her waist, and I pulled her tight against me as I deepened our kiss.
When we finally broke free, her eyes were still closed, lips stil
l parted and glistening. She was absolutely breathtaking, and I knew that I was falling for her. Hard.
“What was that for?” I asked as her eyes fluttered open.
“I had a lot of fun with you today.”
I smiled, genuinely unable to help myself and she did the same, running the pad of her finger over one of my cheeks.
“I’ve been waiting to see that smile since the day we met. You’re like the Romeo to my Juliet.”
“They die at the end,” I groaned. “Haven’t you finished that stupid book yet?”
“Spoiler alert,” she made a face, causing me to chuckle. “Fine. You’re like the Clyde to my Bonnie.”
“They die too. How about... I’ll just be your Ford, and you be my Emery.”
Her smile grew a mile wide. “My Ford? I like that.”
Taking a step back, she gave me room to unlock the door. We stepped inside, and I clicked on the television as she headed to the bathroom.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, my heart sank as I looked at Emery’s face on the screen with a number to call if anyone knew of her whereabouts.
“Can I wear one of your shirts?” She called from the bathroom, and I clicked the remote, turning the channel.
“Y-yeah. Of course.”
I pulled my shirt over my head as she yelled again.
“Can you bring me a hair tie? They’re in the front of my bag.”
I grabbed her bag and unzipped the front pocket, pulling out her cell phone and the battery before finding a hair tie. “Do you care what color?”
“Why would I care what color my hair tie is so I can wash my face?” She asked, and I heard her giggling to herself.
I knocked on the bathroom door, and she only opened it a crack, sticking her arm out with her hand extended.
“A thank you would be nice,” I joked as I placed the shirt and hair tie in her palm.
“Thank you, Ford,” she replied in a sing-song voice. “I’ll be out in a minute.” The door closed between us.
Something in the Water Page 15