“Finally!” I told him.
“Are you OK? I hurried back as soon as it started to storm.”
Funny that he didn’t look wet.
“I’m fine. Any luck?”
“Unfortunately, no. The storm didn’t give me much of a chance.”
I sat down and put my head in my hands, grabbing my hair. “I don’t believe this,” I mumbled. “I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone or some scary movie!” I looked back up at him. I prayed that he wasn’t really a lunatic.
“That’s one way to put it,” he answered. “I’ll make a fire to knock off the chill in here.”
I watched him build the fire while I tried to think of what to do or say.
“So,” he said, like he was trying to make small talk. “How old are you?”
“16.”
“How old was your sister?”
“She was 17. How old are you by the way?”
He hesitated. “I’m…17.”
“Really?”
“Why are you surprised?”
“I don’t know. You just seem older.”
“In a way I am.” He paused again. “Probably because I’ve had a lot to deal with, just like you have.”
He didn’t give me a chance to ask him to elaborate before he spoke. “You mind if I change out of my camo?”
“Um…sure.” I guessed his clothes were wet after all.
“Yeah, well, there’s not much privacy in here, so you’ll have to turn around.”
I blushed. “Oh, yeah, of course.”
I slowly turned around and pretended to look at the deer dressing book, but I couldn’t help sneaking a few glances at his shadow on the wall as he changed. I could see that he was muscular, but not too muscular. Thin, but not too thin. In other words, perfection.
“OK, I’m done,” he said.
I turned back around to see him standing there in a black shirt with the sleeves pulled up and jeans.
“Better,” I said as I smiled at him.
He looked embarrassed.
“So, why doesn’t your dad come out here anymore?” I asked as I glanced toward the picture. Only I shouldn’t have asked, since he immediately looked upset.
“It’s a long story.”
I tried to sound positive. “At least you still enjoy coming here by yourself.”
“I’ll always feel drawn to this place. I don’t really come here to hunt now, just to think.”
“That’s what I was doing before the crash. I was just driving and thinking. I glanced down for just a moment to look for a cigarette.”
He rolled his eyes.
“I know. I keep meaning to quit. Anyway, I missed the deer and hit a tree. You probably would have liked taking that deer home, though.”
“Who cares about the deer?” he said. “I just wish you hadn’t… crashed. Besides, I couldn’t do it.”
“Do what?”
“I had my rifle pointed right at one once, but I hesitated.”
“It was the eyes, wasn’t it?”
He looked at me, grateful that someone understood. “Yeah, it was the way it looked at me.”
We stared at each other just until we both started feeling a bit uncomfortable.
I got up and walked to the window. It was still raining heavily.
“Ethan, by the way, aren’t your parents worried about you too?” I asked.
“I hope not. But they should know that I’m in a good place.”
“You mean, alone in the woods with a girl?”
We both laughed, which was something I really needed.
“Do you bring girls here often?” I asked, hoping that he didn’t have any ulterior motives. Although….
“You’re the only one,” he answered with his smile that was intoxicating.
“So, you don’t have a girlfriend?” I boldly asked.
I could tell that this made him uneasy.
“I did,” he answered.
I waited for him to continue.
“She started seeing someone else. I just didn’t think she would find someone else so quickly.”
“I know the feeling,” I admitted. “Well, let’s change the subject then. What is our plan? I don’t think the rain is going to stop soon.”
“I honestly don’t know what I should do next,” he said, as if he were contemplating something other than how to get me in contact with my parents.
“I don’t see lightening anymore. Why don’t we head out again?”
“I think we should wait until morning.”
“Wait until morning?” I started panicking again. My parents would not be able to handle this.
“I don’t think that we should be out wandering around in the dark and the rain,” he explained. “I want to keep you safe.”
“Well, I’m glad you want to protect me, but I’m just thinking of my parents.”
“I know. You just need to believe that they are going to be OK.”
I decided to stop pacing and sit back down. “I’ll try.”
We both just sat there trying to think of what to say or do next.
“There’s not much to do here,” he said while fiddling around with a piece of rope, “but we should do something fun.”
I gave him a questioning look.
“Do you want to play cards?” he asked. He seemed to be excited about this.
“You’re kidding, right?”
He laughed and shook his head.
“OK,” I agreed. “What game?”
“How about Crazy Eights?”
He was so giddy about it that I had to laugh. It was cute how the child in him was coming out.
“Crazy Eights it is,” I said with a smile.
I determined that Ethan was not only gorgeous, but super cool. He had me laughing the entire time as we played about ten hands of Crazy Eights. He was winning most of them, and of course he teased me about that.
“Well, Sarah, even though you’re not good at cards, I’m sure you’re good at many other things,” he told me, after we decided to call it quits. “What do you like to do?”
“So this is the part where we try to get to know each other better,” I said. I smiled at him slightly. Normally I would be defensive, sarcastic, and always trying to keep my cool around a guy. I didn’t feel that way with Ethan, even though he was a still a mystery to me.
“I love to draw,” I told him.
“Draw what?”
“Everything,” I said, smiling shyly, “but mostly people.”
“I can understand that. People are more interesting than anything. If you can capture who they are, or whatever emotion they are having at that particular moment in time, then you’ve really accomplished something.”
“Exactly.” He really understood what I loved about drawing. “Some people are an enigma, though.” I looked at him, like I was still trying to figure him out, which I was.
He quickly got up and went digging through some storage containers until he found a pad of paper and a pencil.
“Here. Draw me,” he said.
“You’re really putting me on the spot.”
“Prove to me you can draw better than you can play cards,” he teased.
I made a face at him. “Fine!” I grabbed the paper and pencil. “Just be still for a few minutes.”
“Do you want me to pose?” he asked.
I laughed. “No, just be natural.”
“Natural,” he reiterated. “I’ll try.”
He sat perfectly still while I drew. It felt so intimate. I stared at him, studying every feature. He definitely was a good model, but he seemed to have no realization of how attractive he was. He stared back at me too, which made me nervous, but I didn’t let it affect my drawing. I wanted it to be good.
“OK,” I said as I bit down on the pencil eraser and reluctantly handed him my work.
He stared at it. I swear I saw him tear up a bit for some reason.
“Well? What do you think? Be honest,” I told him.
“You
’re really good, Sarah. You really see me.”
We talked about everything, almost. We talked about our childhood, our families, our favorite music and movies. We got excited about the things we had in common, and we laughed about the things we didn’t.
Ethan grew up in Sacramento and was an only child. His parents, like mine, wanted to expose him to the outdoors as much as possible, especially once they divorced when he was 13 years old. His father started taking him on hunting trips as a way to bond. Ethan always enjoyed spending quality time with his father. It wasn’t even about the hunting.
His hobby and dream was to play music. He wasn’t into all the head banging and electric music I listened to, but preferred to play acoustic guitar. He believed that was the best way to really hear a song, by breaking it down to the basics. I loved that he was also soulful. I was just in a car accident, yet I was having the best time of my life with this guy. Life was a mystery.
It was so easy with him. I knew that I had to look like hell since the accident. I hadn’t looked in a mirror, but I could just imagine. I still wasn’t hungry or tired, though. I only wanted to keep talking with Ethan, although I felt guilty every time thoughts of my parents entered my mind. However, according to Ethan, it was best that we stayed in the cabin until daylight. Until then, I was cherishing every moment getting to know him while trapped in this cabin, which looked very romantic with oil lights and candles burning.
“I wish more than anything it were under better circumstances, but I’m glad I met you, Sarah,” he told me as we sat side-by-side on one of the beds, leaning up against the wall.
Hearing him say this made me feel butterflies. I was too scared to speak all of a sudden, even though I wanted to say that I agreed.
He gently placed his hand on mine. It felt so different. I never felt this way before when a guy first touched me. I would feel nervous and excited, but not like this. It was like a warm blanket was wrapped around my body, and I felt nothing but peace and happiness. I longed to be wrapped in his arms, but knew it was best not to get carried away. Instead, I rested my head on his shoulder as he gently squeezed my hand.
“Me too,” I whispered.
4. Discovery
When I opened my eyes again, I noticed it was just beginning to get light outside. I was lying next to Ethan, and my head was resting on his chest. His arm was around me, and it felt so good, but I knew that it had to end, at least for the moment. I felt strangely connected to him, but it was all happening too fast.
Twenty-four hours had passed, and I still hadn’t been able to contact my parents. Had anyone found my car yet? Or did they think I was missing or ran away? The painful memories, confusion, and anger I felt after Alexis’ accident came rushing back. I knew what my parents were feeling, and I had to let them know that I was OK. No more waiting.
“Ethan.” I nudged him gently. “Ethan, wake up.”
He slowly smiled and opened his eyes. “Sarah, you’re still here.” He pulled me close to him.
I felt the butterflies again. I was tempted to stay in his arms a few minutes longer, but I couldn’t.
“Come on. We have to get up. It’s daylight,” I tried to convince us both.
He was slow to move, so I got frustrated with him.
“Ethan, don’t you understand what my parents are going through?”
“I know,” he answered, and I could tell that he understood, but he still seemed reluctant.
I walked toward the door, but he still wouldn’t move.
“Aren’t you coming with me?” I asked him.
“Let’s talk first, Sarah.”
“Talk? We’ve been talking all night!” What was his problem? “OK, let’s talk then!” I agreed, the anger rising.
I ran my fingers through my hair and decided to be totally honest. “Look, Ethan, I really like you…a lot. I loved being with you last night, and I want to spend time with you still, but you’re holding back something, and I need for you to be honest with me. I get it that you’re reclusive. I always want to get away from it all too, but what are you hiding or hiding from?”
He was silent for a moment. “I’ve just been trying to protect you…and spend time with you.”
“Protect me from what Ethan? Is the boogeyman out there? This is getting ridiculous! It’s like you are trying to keep me captive here!”
“OK,” he finally agreed.
He got up and opened the door, motioning for me to lead the way. “Let’s go,” he said.
He gently took my hand once we started walking toward the trail.
“You’re right, Sarah. I haven’t been telling you everything. Follow me.”
He gave my hand a squeeze, then he let go. I tried to keep up with him as he walked quickly and determined.
“Where are we going?”
He wouldn’t answer me, so I shut up and just kept following him down the trail. We must have walked for about a mile before he finally stopped. I noticed we were close to the tree stand again.
“Over here,” he said. He pointed to a spot off of the trail, about 20 feet into the woods.
“Promise me you’re not a serial killer,” I told him jokingly, although I was clueless and nervous about what he was up to.
He was obviously frustrated and acted very serious, so I just kept following him until he stopped. He took both my hands in his and looked me in the eyes.
“Sarah…” he said as he seemed to struggle for words.
“What is it?”
He took a deep breath and began. “About a year ago, right here where we are standing, I spotted a deer, the one I told you about. Like I said, I had my rifle pointed right at it, but I hesitated. Its eyes drew me in, and I couldn’t do it.” He looked far away and distant as he was reliving this memory. “So anyway, I was just fascinated by this deer and wanted to get closer to it.” He paused for a moment and then continued, “And so, as I walked up to it, I got in the way.”
“In the way of what?”
He turned to look at me. “The bullet.”
“What? You were shot?”
“Another hunter saw the deer too, but he didn’t see me standing so close.”
“Where were you shot? I mean…thank God you survived!”
I heard a chuckle. We had company.
“Ah, yes. Thank God he survived,” said the man as he walked toward us. I immediately was on guard in his presence. He wasn’t bad looking and rather young, but he made me very uneasy. He had dark, shoulder length hair and was tall and slender, but his eyes looked mean. I moved closer to Ethan, gently grabbing his arm.
I could feel Ethan tense up as well. “What do you want, Sawyer?”
“Haven’t seen you for a while, Ethan. I figured you’d be out here, wallowing in self pity as usual.”
Ethan glared at him.
“Only now I see you have another reason. You have a new friend,” Sawyer said as he smiled and looked me up and down, like he was trying to attract me, only he frightened me instead.
“We were just leaving actually,” Ethan said as he took my hand and slowly started walking toward the trail.
“Off so soon?” Sawyer asked. He was suddenly in front of us again, blocking our way. “You haven’t even formally introduced us yet. I would also love to hear you explain the rest of your tragic story to her. She obviously doesn’t know how it ends yet. I would love to see her reaction,” he said, smiling at me.
Out of nowhere, three more men began walking over to us. They all had the same aura about them as Sawyer. I was feeling really scared and very confused.
“Damn it,” said Ethan. He looked at me like he was very nervous and didn’t know what to do next.
Sawyer acted annoyed by the interruption. “I told you to wait for me,” he said as he turned around to face them. He then joined them and began quietly conversing.
Ethan immediately took this opportunity to whisper to me quickly. “Go back to the cabin.”
“What? No. Not without you.”
; “Don’t argue with me, Sarah!” he said sternly as he grabbed my shoulders and looked at me. “These guys are evil. Do you understand? I’ll deal with them, and then I’ll meet you there. Now go! Run!”
I then believed what I’d heard about adrenaline from fear giving you incredible energy. I was back at the cabin in a matter of minutes. I looked around in panic to make sure nobody had followed me. I prayed that Ethan would be back soon. I opened the door, very thankful that he hadn’t bothered to lock it. My heart jumped when I saw a man inside the cabin.
He didn’t hear me come in. He was sitting in front of the fire place. He was a handsome, older gentleman, probably in his mid-thirties. He looked like a nice man, but he was deep in his own thoughts.
“Excuse me,” I said.
He didn’t answer. I guessed he didn’t hear me come in.
“Excuse me, sir. Who are you?”
Still no answer.
“Looks like someone’s been visiting our cabin,” he said. “I’ll have to buy a new lock.”
“Your cabin?” I asked.
Then it hit me. This was the man in the picture with Ethan. This was his father.
I suddenly felt guilty. I was sure he didn’t appreciate Ethan bringing a young girl over for the night, not knowing the circumstances. I noticed the cards still lying on the floor, the messed up bed, and the picture I drew of Ethan. I quietly placed the pillow over it so he wouldn’t see.
“Mr…,” I couldn’t believe I didn’t even know Ethan’s last name yet. “Please let me introduce myself. My name is Sarah.”
He still wouldn’t turn around and look at me. How rude. I could only figure he was really angry at us for hanging out in his cabin.
“I should have been coming out here more to check on the place,” he continued. “It’s just been too difficult letting go of you, just like I still haven’t been able to let go of your mother,” he said. There was a great sadness in his voice.
He must have thought Ethan had entered the room. What did he mean about letting go?
I slowly sat down on the bed and let him continue.
“It’s just so damn unfair! You were only beginning to live your life, Ethan!”
I could see tears in his eyes.
Sarah's Solace Page 3