Until you came (Series Stonebridge, #3)

by Diana Scott

  Blackman looked up at the sky and felt the fresh air rubbing against his skin, and the morning sun began to warm his face. He thought about how long it had been since he felt alive enjoying those little details of life.

  In all his years, he had never felt any happiness and was tired of running around with rabies as his only companion. His damaged body was the reflection of a life he did not choose to live. He looked at the horizon and smiled as he remembered her. She always had that effect on him. She was the will to live that he had never felt. She taught him the beauty of life without asking anything in return. She was hope, strength, courage... love.

  Many said they felt in love with him but none taught him to feel, none until she came driving him crazy with her stubbornness and a desire to live capable of pumping a heart as dry as his. She knew how to melt his ice and be a precious lover impossible to forget.

  He smiled eagerly, with sound and from the deepest part of his chest as she had taught him. He looked at his friend with true happiness and he hugged him and hit his back.

  “Welcome home.”

  Reed got rid of the embrace and with determination focused his blue crystalline sapphires on his companion who understood him instantly.

  “To the hospital?”

  “Quickly," he said as he struggled to get into the car as fast as he could.

  She was to be discharged that very morning and he thought of being at her side and doing whatever it takes to get her back. He would tell her everything that had happened, forget the half-truths and focus on a future together. He would confess the reason for his actions and pray to heaven that Anne could understand.

  Eleven women had been saved thanks to his lies and Anne herself was alive thanks to the fervent disinterest in her he showed in public. If Falconi had suspected for a minute about his feelings toward her, Anne would have had no chance.

  Reed looked out the window begging heaven for a little compassion and some forgiveness.

  Suraj accelerated at full speed as he shouted out loud to release adrenaline. He knew perfectly well that Anne Foster would forgive his friend. Those two would be disgustingly happy forever and would eat partridges to their hearts' happiness.

  “If you sat in a chair it wouldn't hurt so much,” Suraj said annoyed at the sight of the sores starting to bleed again and pierce his friend's trousers.

  “I'm fine, though I think this is the last adventure I'll ever be able to do standing up.”

  “Don't fucking say that, Raymond will be able...”

  “Brother, I thank you for everything you've done for me over the years, but it's time to leave me alone.”

  Reed didn't want to discuss the state of his health, he knew perfectly the consequences of his actions, but he didn't care about it if thanks to that Anne was safe.

  He felt the weakness of his legs and the excess to which he had exposed them, the wounds were serious but he didn't want to think about them, he was in front of the room and his girl was inside, that was the only thing that mattered to him.

  If Anne Foster accepted him with a wheelchair under his legs and a baby in his arms, then he was willing to thank heaven for his damn good luck until the end of his days.

  Suraj patted him on the back and Reed took a breath to take courage and get in. He cursed low, he was nervous and he was never nervous. In the past, he didn't care about anyone's feelings but today his life hung on the forgiveness of a single woman and that wasn't very common in someone like him.

  He entered slowly and saw her concentrating folding a sweater into a small leather bag. Her head was bowed but he could still distinguish the violet of the bruises that ran all over her face. He cursed in silence and knew that although it was painful, the decision he had made to separate from her had been the right one. If that son of a bitch had for a moment guessed his true feelings, he would have offered her to some madame from any illegal club that he used to frequent until he managed to destroy her.

  “I told Jane I didn't need another sweater but you know how overprotective sisters are. Maurizio, give me a minute and I'll be ready.”

  “I'll always wait for you,” his deep voice resounded with confidence.

  His girl wore jeans and a very simple white t-shirt, but he thought he had never seen her prettier than she was at the time. His hair gathered in a ponytail reminded him of the silkiness of caressing her and he could feel her perfume enveloping him once more.

  “What... what...” Anne leaned back and Reed was confused by her fear.

  “Please don't be afraid. Didn't he tell you?”

  Anne moved and covered herself with the chair. Her hands were shaking and her legs were weak.

  “I'm not going to hurt you. Baby, I would never hurt you. You have to know the truth.”

  Anne was trying to breathe but the air was stuck in her throat. Her knees loosened and her heart seemed to have stopped beating. She tried to hold on to the piece of furniture and barely made it.

  “Anne.”

  Reed tried to get close but she raised a hand to stop him.

  “Don't touch me!” The bruises and fear barely let him speak.

  “You have to know the truth, please I need you to calm down and listen to me.”

  Reed wanted to show calmness even though he was shattered inside by nerves. She was supposed to know the truth. "Fucking Italian," he thought annoyed.

  Anne looked at him with exorbitant eyes as she looked at the door as the only way out.

  Maurizio had told the truth to her, but she could not avoid the fear of seeing him. He had told her about Reed's supposed infiltration among those unfortunates. Suraj and he were supposed to be on a mission even Maurizio didn't know about, but by seeing him she couldn't help remembering Reed's cold words when he asked them to get rid of her.

  Her hands began to shake again and she nailed her nails to the wooden chair to support herself. She looked into his eyes and noticed something different in his look, it seemed lighter, cleaner, as if the ice floes had melted. His hair was still black and shiny as always, he had a few small wrinkles around his eyes fruits of tiredness but despite of feeling as scared as she did, he was still as devilishly irresistible as ever. She shook her head trying to deny the turmoil in her heart at the sight of him. Not after what he had done to her.

  “Anne...”

  His torn voice seemed like a plea and she looked away, focusing on the floor. She couldn't have him around, not without continuing to feel a crazy and irrational love. One that was begging her to forgive him so that he could lie down in her arms.

  “You have to listen to me, you have to know the truth.” Reed tried to get closer again but she stopped him with a stronger order this time.

  “Don't come near me or I'll scream!”

  Reed clenched his teeth annoyed with his reaction. He never thought that she didn't know at least half of the truth. That wretched Italian had made good use of his opportunity.

  “Anne, he didn't tell you the truth, I never wanted to hurt you, baby, I risked everything to save you...”

  “Yes, he told me that!”

  “What?” Reed lost the thread of his speech.

  “Maurizio would never deceive me.” Reed felt her words like a punch in the stomach.

  “It doesn't matter," he said for a moment, "I want to tell you myself in my own words. I want you to know how I feel.”

  “Why? What for?” She whispered without strength.

  “Baby, I know you're hurt and I understand, but I had no choice. Falconi would have killed you if he had got a simple hint that there was something between you and me. I had to play a role and I swear that I hated myself for each one of my lies but I didn't know how to do it any other way. You have to believe me, I couldn't play with your life.”

  Reed's explanations begged for understanding, but Anne began to feel that courage replaced the original fear. Despite Maurizio's explanations, she wan’t able to excuse him. Reed had humiliated her, used her, stolen her, lied to her, and all in equal parts
.

  “You deceived me to the point of breaking my heart. I suffered your contempt day by day and then I heard how you wanted to see me dead. You played with my life in order to satisfy your desire for revenge. I gave everything for you but you put your past before our present. Your past almost killed me and you allowed it.”

  “That is not true! I didn't know that they had captured you, as soon as I knew I did everything to free you. Anne, you have to believe me, the plans for revenge ceased to exist the moment you came into my life.”

  “It's not true! You let me suffer for you! You didn't care about my pain. You could have trusted me but you didn't, you preferred to see me cry again and again before leaning on me and sharing your grief with me. I had to see you give to another what I begged for myself...”

  The torment was reflected in Reed's countenance and she hated herself for being satisfied. This was revenge, and she was disgusted to feel it, but she couldn't help it. She loved him too much not to keep bleeding from the wound yet.”

  “That woman didn't mean anything, I had to get information from her, I couldn't take risks... Anne, I couldn't let them destroy you like they did to my mother or me... you must believe me, I've never loved anyone but you.”

  “Why should I believe you? Many times you have said with words what you have erased with actions.”

  “Because it's all over, that son of a bitch won't come back to our lives. He will never hurt you again. My love, we are free.”

  “I'm happy for you.”

  The coldness of her words froze him inside. He was losing her and he didn't know how to bring her back to him. He didn't know much about words of love but damn it! He had never been in love until now.

  “My happiness is by your side. My sanity depends on your protection.”

  “I didn’t want your protection! I was looking for your love and your understanding. I have always tried to tell you that but you never wanted to listen to me. I begged you to tell me your secrets and to trust me, but you decided for both. You always solved what was good or bad for me but you never counted on my opinion.”

  “Damn it! That bastard wanted you dead! I couldn't take any risk. You're too important to me, is it so difficult to accept?”

  “You could have trusted me with your plans! But you didn't think I was capable of being your companion.... Don't you understand that it was you and only you who separated us?”

  Reed listened to her words but refused to analyze the background of their conversation because that would mean he was losing her. He approached without paying attention to her gestures. He pulled the chair aside and held her by the arm to hold her in a tight embrace. She felt rage when she noticed a small vestige of fear in her body but she didn’t give up. He needed her to feel the electricity that arose whenever they were together.

  He had to show her that not everything was lost. What they felt wasn’t something built overnight. Perhaps she thought he was the most stupid of men and he wouldn’t deny it but she had to forgive him because their lives and futures depended on her forgiveness.

  “I have never loved anyone like you. I would give my life for yours. I love you...”

  Anne felt his words speak the truth and her heart shrank out of love but it wasn't the first time she trusted Reed and it turned out to be the most painful of her mistakes. She could not fall again. Reed's strong arms held her tightly desiring to close her wounds and she felt his heat unwind her.

  Reed kissed her cheeks with desperation and Anne let herself be caressed trying to erase his lies but the images of him with another woman were harder than any of the other hundreds of lies.

  “Let go of me...”

  “I can't, if I let you go, you'll leave me.”

  “You left me. You were with her. I needed you and you weren't there...” Anne cried as she expressed her fears out loud.

  When that man captured her, she was very afraid. She felt her body break from Falconi's blows and Reed hadn’t been by her side. He may have tried to save her but then left to continue his damn revenge. He did not care whether she was in the hospital alive or dead. No, he didn't love her, not like a woman deserves to be loved.

  “They needed me, without me they couldn't...”

  “I don't want your explanations anymore, they don't make sense.”

  Anne didn't want any more explanations. Reed Blackman was who he was and nothing would change him. He had decided for her, had not trusted her as his partner and had not thought of their relationship as an "us". He used the excuse of protection to decide for her instead of relying on her intelligence.

  “Olivia is underground, can't you understand that I was terrified of losing you?” He spoke in despair.

  “Olivia...” She said with a humorless smile. “I had forgotten about her. Another unfulfilled promise. Remember you swore to me not to love her? Well, look, she turned out to be your daughter's mother.”

  Reed snorted annoyed, his mistakes had been so many that he felt it would be impossible to explain.

  “The girl is not the fruit of any love, you can't be jealous of her.”

  “Yes, I am! I am jealous of her, of the idiot of Collette and of all those who were with you while I was suffering your indifference. You used me for your own ends and you are fooling yourself if you think that you did it all of that for me. It was your interests that always dominated you.”

  “I love you, I am yours and I always have been, my revenge has been forgotten long ago”. His arms grabbed her by the shoulders and then he kissed her, taking possession of her lips as he murmured words of love. “I have never kissed anyone like you," he held her delicate hand and leaned to his rampant riding heart. “Do you feel it? It has never beaten like that for anyone but you.”

  Anne closed her eyes as she rested the palm of her hand against his chest but she did to separate her hand from him.

  “I don't trust you.”

  “Anne, you can't do this to us.”

  “It was you who did it.”

  The woman let go of his grip and turned to leave when she found an expectant Maurizio at the door.

  “Please take me home,” she told him broken by grief.

  Reed watched as the Italian rushed to pick up the little bag with her belongings and left with the love of his life. His rage erupted from the deepest depths and he cried out in tears.

  “I love you! And you love me Anne Foster. Only me, I will always wait for you! You hear me, always!”

  The woman walked down the long corridor without stopping. Tears clouded her eyes, but she didn't stop. Her heart was broken with grief. Of course she knew it perfectly, she wanted him madly and desperately but this was not about forgiveness or apology but about non-existent trust.

  Blackman shouted furiously, he wanted to hold her by force and force her to stay by her side but he knew that it wasn’t possible. She had made a decision and he had to accept it even if his only reason to live left with her.

  "Look at me, look at me," he begged as he watched her disappear into the cold hospital but she didn’t turn to see him.

  Anne was right, he had been an arrogant who had decided for her. He could have trusted Anne and her wisdom, but he preferred to do it his own way.

  His legs began to shake, he tried to lean on the wall but his weakened muscles could not bear the weight and his body collapsed, hitting the floor sharply. Suraj rushed in trying to hold him while shouting for a doctor desperately. His legs were bleeding and there was no response.

  “I told you you could leave.”

  “And since when do I listen to you?”

  “She left me...”

  Suraj didn't answer, he had heard part of the conversation behind the door and he didn't need any further explanation to predict the horrible ending. Reed's trousers were all wet with blood and Suraj was terrified.

  “A doctor! Where the fuck is everybody!”

  A doctor approached in alarm at the screams and when she saw Reed and his dead legs, she screamed calling a nurse in
a wheelchair. The doctor knelt on the floor and cut her pants in one fell swoop.

  “Do you feel this?” She asked as she pressed hard on him.

  “No.”

  “And this?” The woman pinched him by twisting part of his skin.

  “No." Reed replied regardless of his condition and Suraj cursed loudly.

  A nurse came in with the wheelchair and they both took him away quickly. They had to try to heal those wounds and verify the depth of his injuries even though his diagnosis seemed pretty clear.

  Half the truth, a lie.

  Six months later...

  “Honey, I'm going to town for a moment, do you need anything?”

  “No thanks.”

  Anne replied with a radiant smile as she sat on the floor of the garden and replanted a very perfumed basil.

  “See you in a few hours, miss me a lot.”

  Maurizio spoke in love when he kissed her on the head. Anne saw him leave and sighed as she smelled the aromatic plant. She had been living in Italy for a few months. The people welcomed her with open arms and Maurizio was the perfect man. As affectionate and sweet as the best prince of tales, the one who destroys dragons and stores partridges to eat by your side until the end of your days.

  Kneeling on the grass, she hit the base of the flowerpot trying to clear the roots and cursed high by the hardness of the soil. She was angry and irascible and knew she had no reason to be. Maurizio was perfect, the town was perfect, her neighbors were perfect and everything around her was damn perfect! Self-esteem is boring.

  She hit the ground with a clenched fist and a worm fled in terror in front of the rabid giant. The woman tried not to analyze the reason for her frustration but, as always, Anne's thoughts never obeyed her. She looked at the infinite asking for a little compassion, she was trying. Every morning when she got up she expected a miracle that refused to appear.

  Maurizio deserved her love, her whole heart, one hundred percent of her sighs. He was sincere, he had been by her side in one of the worst moments of her life. During the three days she was interned, the Italian didn’t move from her side, neither day nor night, nothing separated him from her, instead he... She closed his eyes trying to refuse to remember him, even if she felt like her love cut through her bones.