It didn’t matter because it wouldn’t change the fact that he couldn’t give Ashley what she would need. He simply would have known about it sooner.
Ryan’s jaw tightened and he leaned against the locker, loosening his tie. “Yeah. Their dad headed out when Jillian was ten. She can still remember him telling her mom that he didn’t want to listen to their whining anymore. They were whining because they were hungry. He spent everything on booze and women.”
It didn’t surprise him, though it did speak to Ashley’s own inner strength. She hadn’t had a ton of love as a child and yet she had an enormous amount of affection to give. She had a smile for everyone. He’d had a great childhood and couldn’t even call his parents. “She doesn’t talk about it a lot. I know her mother died and Jill had to pass on college to take care of her. I assume the dick dad wouldn’t take her in.”
Ryan pushed a hand through his hair, leaning against the locker. “He had another family by then. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her or Jillian. But what you have to know is that their mom never once let them forget how they had wrecked her life. She blamed them for their dad leaving.”
The testosterone level seemed to be dipping. It looked like he wasn’t going to get his throw down. “Do you want me to be one more person who leaves her?”
Ryan sighed, long and deep. “I want you to love her, but I don’t think you will. You know what my first instinct was when I heard you were seeing her?”
He could guess. “To set my entrails on fire?”
Ryan huffed out a laugh. “After that. I would have had that reaction about anyone. She’s a sweet girl. I love her and I adore Emily.”
His gut churned every time he heard the name. Emily was the very reason he would never take the relationship any further. “I understand.”
“No, you don’t. I was happy because I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have in the family. Damn, man. I love you. You were there for me when no one else was. I would give almost anything for you to be the right man for Ashley. What I can’t stand the thought of is her being one of your many girlfriends.”
He’d kept his relationships casual since his divorce. He’d spent time with a lot of women, sometimes more than one at a time. It was merely sex, nothing more than pleasure, a way to forget for a while. “I’m not seeing anyone but Ashley.”
He’d meant to. He’d actually meant to keep the dates he’d made. He had a couple of standing appointments with women who wanted nothing more than sex from him. He should have called them, but he’d broken off everything after the first night with her. He couldn’t stand the thought of seeing one of those women and then facing her.
“Are you serious?”
Keith nodded. He could give his friend that satisfaction. “I won’t touch another woman as long as our contract is in place. Look man, I care about her. I’m not a long-term guy, but she’s serious about exploring the lifestyle. Do you want her to do that with someone else? I’ve been nothing but honest with her. Everything was laid out in that contract. Taggart wrote it and he’s a tough son of a bitch. Trust me. Ashley has a D/s mom and dad. The Taggarts have been watching over her.”
Ryan took a long breath. “Yeah, well, her family is back. We’ll watch out for her now. I wish you hadn’t done this.”
Ryan’s objections hurt way more than he’d expected them to. “You seriously wanted someone else to mentor her?”
Ryan’s eyes were so grim. “I guess I didn’t want to lose a friend, and I can’t see this going any other way. When the chips are down, and they will be down, I have to choose her. I have to protect her because she won’t have anyone else. Take care, brother.”
Ryan walked out, and Keith felt something stir inside him he hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Regret. Pain. He’d been happily numb for so damn long that it lanced through him.
“Don’t take that too bad, mate.” The big Brit with the scars came around the lockers. He was dressed for play, but there was a grim set to his eyes. “At least your friend was honest. Most aren’t. Everyone fucks you in the end, you know. Better to figure that out before you get a bullet in your heart. You mind if I switch on the telly?”
He’d just lost his only real friend in the world. God, Ryan didn’t really know him. How could he call Ryan a friend when he’d never even told him he’d been married? Never mentioned John Michael. “Nah. Go right ahead.”
He went back to his preparations while the Brit started watching some soccer game.
Maybe the big guy was right. Friendship, love, companionship—all those things were an illusion. If no one ever really knew him, knew his secrets, knew who he was on the inside, would it be like he’d never existed at all when he was gone?
All he knew was he had a contract to honor. That was real.
* * *
“Did you get a plate number?” Karina asked. She was wearing a corset that barely contained her magnificent breasts and a thong that didn’t bother to cover her ass cheeks, but there was a competent look on her face that told Ashley she’d done the right thing.
“Yes.” She reached in her bag and handed her the slip of paper she’d jotted the number on. “But it’s probably nothing, right?”
Karina’s perfectly plucked brows rose. “Dallas is a city with a population of one point two million. What do you think the odds are that you see the same SUV following you more than once in a week when you don’t live in the same neighborhood and he’s not a student at your school?”
Her heart sank a little. It was highly unlikely. “Okay. I’ll try to get a better look at him next time. I could only make out that he was male.”
“And Caucasian,” Karina said, giving her a supportive smile. “Hey, it’s more than I have to go on sometimes. The last time Tag asked me to find someone and I asked for a description, he told me to look for the biggest asswipe I could find. I chose not to point at him and ask for my check. I’m smart enough to know which tiger’s tail to tug. And don’t you dare try to get a better look at this guy until I know more.”
“What does Keith think?” Avery asked from her comfy chair.
Ashley sat down in the chair Serena normally occupied. She’d gotten close to the pregnant twins, as the others affectionately called Serena and Avery. They had lots of questions about childbirth and Ashley was happy to help. It would be so good to have other moms to talk to. “I haven’t told him.”
“That’s a mistake.” Avery whistled. “You know, the kind that gets you tied down and plugged.”
They hadn’t even talked about plugging, yet. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go there. “I don’t want to bring him into my problems. We talk outside the club, but we don’t meet or anything. I don’t want to push him.”
And she sure didn’t want him to think she was some kind of clingy ball of neediness. That would put a damper on the relationship real damn fast.
“Yeah, I don’t think you know how this works,” Avery replied. “Doms like to solve problems.”
But no man wanted that much responsibility. He’d offered to help her find the discipline she needed to reach her goals. That had been ironed out in their contract. This was something else. “I’m handling it. That’s why I went to Karina. Speaking of, do you need a check or something?”
She had some money saved up. Not much.
Both Karina and Avery laughed.
“What?” Ashley asked, not quite getting the joke.
“Honey, she makes two hundred dollars an hour,” Avery explained.
Shit and balls. Ashley quickly calculated her bank account. “Could you solve my problem in three hours and fifteen minutes?”
Karina chuckled and put her notebook in her locker. “You get the friends and family discount. I can look into it for free and if there’s anything really going on, we’ll go to the police together. Not that they’ll do anything, but we’ll get the stalking on record so when I shoot the fucker, I’ll have cause.”
“You’re going to shoot someone?
Can I come?” Serena said as she waddled in. There was no other word for it. She was nine months pregnant. She waddled. Ashley remembered it well. She’d seen Serena walk between her husbands, each man with a hand on her to make sure she was safe.
Ashley had been on her own. Serena had two men, but Ashley had struggled to get out of bed and been forced to wear slip-on shoes because she couldn’t tie them. She got up and surrendered the seat to Serena.
“I have a strict policy of no pregnant chicks at my murders,” Karina tossed out. She turned back to Ashley. “And you should tell Keith because Avery’s right. He’s going to spank you silly when he finds out.”
They didn’t understand her relationship. Maybe they had Doms who wanted in on everything, but Ashley didn’t. “What happens in the locker room…”
All three of the other subs sighed because they knew the drill. “Stays in the locker room,” they finished together.
And that was how she liked it.
Chapter Seven
Ashley watched as Damon Knight attached the TENs unit to a pretty brunette’s nipple and flicked the switch on.
For a potential psychopath, he was pretty delicate with the attachments. The sub started to squirm, but it seemed like a pleasurable thing.
“You’ve been a very bad patient,” the Brit said in his clipped, aristocratic accent. “Do you know what happens to bad patients?”
He twisted the dial and now the sub groaned and squealed.
“He’s sending electricity through her nipples?” Ashley whispered the question.
“It’s mild.” Keith grimaced as the sub’s body went taut. “Well, not at that setting it’s not. It looks like Master Damon is taking out some of his frustrations. I don’t think he likes doctors very much.”
Master Damon pulled out another set of attachments. “Spread your legs.”
“Is he going to…?” Ashley couldn’t ask the whole question.
“Oh, yeah.” Keith slipped his hand into hers and led her away as the sub screamed.
She hadn’t screamed her safe word. Ashley had talked to the woman earlier in the evening and she’d been looking forward to playing with Master Damon. When Ashley asked if she was afraid, she’d claimed to be a massive pain slut and excited that someone would finally hurt her.
And she’d heard the Brit had a big dick, though he hadn’t seemed interested in using it on anyone. She was hoping to break the Brit’s celibacy.
Gosh, Ashley wanted to see Keith’s dick. “Are we going to the bar?”
That would be disappointing. The bar always marked the end of their evenings together. It was a peaceful time after the scenes and play were finished. They hadn’t played together at all. It had been hours and Keith had been very solicitous. Very polite. Very hands-off.
She gave Ryan a smile as she passed him. He was dressed in his leathers and motorcycle boots, very much the big bad manager of Sanctum. He nodded her way but pointedly kept his eyes off her body, which was nicely on display if she did say so herself.
He didn’t look at Keith at all.
“Shit.”
Keith turned, his mouth in a gorgeous frown. His hand slipped from hers. “What did you say?”
Shit. She’d said it out loud and that wasn’t allowed. It was a playful reason for him to spank her. She got ten licks when she cussed in his presence. It had been her idea because Emily liked to repeat anything she said and she didn’t want her baby girl to have a whole vocabulary of curse words.
Maybe they would end up playing. “Sorry, Sir. I said shit.”
“Don’t do it again.” He turned back around and started to head for the bar.
She stood there. They had an agreement. When she cursed, they stopped whatever they were doing and he spanked her. The week before he’d heard her cuss because she got an order wrong at the bar and before the poor Dom could get his whiskey sour, she’d been over Keith’s lap, counting it out.
Was he bored? Had two weeks with her been enough for him?
“You all right?” Ryan asked. “You shouldn’t be without your Dom, honey. I don’t like the idea of you walking around here alone.”
“Did you say something to him?”
Her brother-in-law frowned. “I do talk to the man, Ashley.”
“What did you say to him?” She didn’t get stubborn often, but she felt it now. She stood up to her brother-in-law. And looked up to him because he was about a foot taller than she was.
“Ashley? Are you coming?” Keith asked quietly.
She didn’t turn around because she wasn’t sure of the answer to that question. She wouldn’t be coming at all if Keith dumped her because her overly protective brother-in-law had decided to inflict some damage on him. She might never come again, and that kind of pissed her off. “I don’t stick my nose in your business.”
Ryan frowned down at her. “Of course you do. You live on my property. You’re in my house constantly. You definitely stick your nose in my business. Do you think I missed the pamphlets about proper business practices in the third world? That didn’t come from Jillian because she doesn’t give a crap about my new idea. And it didn’t magically appear.”
Well, forgive her for giving a crap about indigenous labor. “I wasn’t talking about that and you know it. I was talking about Keith.”
“Where does she think we can set up the manufacturing?” Keith asked, looking at Ryan for the first time.
Maybe she did know way too much about Ryan’s business but she was in college. She was curious. “How about here? Why don’t you create jobs in your own community?”
“Because my own community charges through the roof. Do you know what the product cost would be? Your boyfriend over there would laugh me right out of his office if I came in and pitched him a product that included First World labor costs,” Ryan argued back.
“I would turn him down flat. Ashley, why are you bugging Ryan about his labor costs? You’re a first year business student. He’s made millions. Lost it, too, but he’s well on his way to millions more,” Keith said.
“Yes, well, I would prefer those millions didn’t come with blood on them.” Ashley stopped. How had she lost control of the conversation?
And why were they both smiling?
She ignored them because that wasn’t the point. “I want to know what you said to Keith because he’s acting weird and I don’t like it.”
Keith stared at her. “I’m acting weird?”
“Yes,” she shot back. “You haven’t touched me all night and you didn’t spank me.”
“God, that’s rough.” Ryan grimaced.
Keith ignored him. “And you didn’t like that? You didn’t like that I haven’t touched you?”
She shouldn’t have started this, but she was certainly going to finish it. “I like what we have, and I don’t think Ryan should have a say in our relationship. We’re adults and we’ve both consented. I like our friendship.” It was so much more than that, but she couldn’t say the words. “And I won’t have Ryan manipulating you because he doesn’t like the idea. This is my life and my choice. I love you, Ryan. I’ll always be grateful to you, but I won’t let you walk all over me. I won’t.” They stood there still smiling while she had damn tears in her eyes. “Why are you two grinning like loons?”
“She never used to argue with me,” Ryan said, his eyes on her but his words directed at Keith. “She would start to tell me what she thought and then she would mumble something about needing to be somewhere else.”
“She’s smart. She has good ideas. Well, except about the labor issues. She’s crazy about those,” Keith admitted.
Ryan took a long breath. “Okay. I’m going to back off entirely because I like where this is going. Ash, let me know if you need any…let your Dom know if you need anything. You’re wearing his collar so you need to go through him. Keith?”
“Yeah?” Keith’s eyes were guarded as he looked over her brother-in-law.
“Want to have lunch tomorrow? Go over some of those
crazy ideas I have?”
Her Dom’s mouth curled up slightly, and he held out a hand. “I’m pretty sure I’m free.”
They shook hands and Ashley felt the tension leave. “So, everyone’s okay?”
“Everyone except the sub who’s about to get her ass smacked red for cursing and not following her Dom and smarting off to another Dom. Other than her, everyone’s fine. Well, except for the Brit’s sub. She’s got electrodes attached to her clitoris.” Keith shuddered before reaching for her hand again. “See you later, Ryan.”
He started walking down the hall but not toward the bar this time.
“Hey, uhm, what just happened?” One minute he’d seemed reluctant and now he was striding through the club like he couldn’t wait another minute.
He stopped, turned on his heels, and suddenly crowded her. She backed up, surprised at the way he was looming over her. He was always so polite, always controlled, and now she sensed something primitive in him.
“You happened.” He moved until their chests nearly touched, until she had to drop her head back to look at him. His handsome face was staring down at her. “I thought I wasn’t good for you, but maybe I am.”
Sometimes it was easy to forget that he was only human. In the short time she’d been with him, she’d started to see him as some sort of superhero. He handled his business with ease. He was rich and successful and yet he was also kind to the people around him. He was together, but he was just a man and men had insecurities like everyone else.
She put her hands on his chest, soothing her palms across his skin. “You are very good for me, Sir.”
“Tell me you’re happy with this.”
“I am happy.” She was happier than she’d been in forever. She had something to look forward to, something that belonged to her.
His fingers came up and he tangled them in her hair. He rarely touched her like that. He petted her, but when he did it he smoothed her hair down, a calming sensation.
She wasn’t calm now and she could tell he wasn’t either. His jaw was tight, all his words grinding out of his mouth.
Modern Fairy Tale: Twelve Books of Breathtaking Romance Page 106