He didn’t understand her. “I’m damaged.”
“I still love you.”
“I’m not as strong as you.”
Her hand squeezed his. “I still love you.”
“I’ve been cold and cruel to people who love me.” That hurt most of all. He’d been cold to her and god, what had he done to his parents?
“I still love you. I bet they still love you, too. And if you would give her a chance, Emily would love you. Kids don’t care that you don’t share blood with them. They love the people who love them. They love the people who teach them. They love the people who are there for them.”
He didn’t know if he could do it, didn’t know if he wouldn’t get two days in and back out on her, but he knew one thing. She was offering him something unconditional. She would sign that contract and be with him on his terms even if he wouldn’t honor hers. She would give him a year of her life with no conditions, just a simple request.
And he couldn’t take it. Not the way he wanted to. He picked up the pen. He didn’t need to read it. There was one person in the entire world who could offer him a contract, tell him the terms, and he would believe her without proof and that was his sub, his lover, his woman. He signed his name.
“I’ll be there on Sunday.” He couldn’t let her get nothing. He would grin and bear it because when offered paradise, he would take a couple of nights in purgatory.
As he walked out he decided that the smile on her face was worth any discomfort he would endure.
* * *
A few weeks later, Ashley stepped out of Emily’s bedroom after looking in on her.
“Is she asleep?” Keith was standing right outside the door. It still shocked her every time she looked up and he was standing in her small house. He was a gorgeous masculine beast amongst her very feminine décor.
“Yeah. She’s okay. I was worried because she had a low-grade fever earlier, but she seems fine now.” She closed the door behind her. He still wasn’t comfortable around Emily. He wouldn’t look right at her. He ignored her most of the time, but when she’d reached out to him earlier, he hadn’t flinched. He’d gently patted her head as he paled and moved on by.
She was calling it a win.
It was easier to deal with now that she knew the reasons behind it. Time. She needed time and patience to show him that he could do this. Maybe she was fooling herself. Maybe he would walk at the end of their contract, but she would go down fighting.
“Then come with me.” He used his Dom voice on her. It had the immediate effect of making her pussy go soft and wanting.
He’d played with her in the club, even fucked her a couple of times, but he hadn’t reached the intimacy level they’d had before that terrible night they had broken up. He’d held a part of himself back, giving her every ounce of pleasure she could wring from the physical, but just shy of being pure heaven because she knew he was thinking. He was considering. He was plotting instead of being in the moment with her.
He turned and walked down her small hallway toward her bedroom. She followed him, her heart starting to pound because his shoulders had squared, his energy transformed from laid-back to alpha male.
He stopped at her bedroom, opening the door and gesturing her inside. “Get undressed and present yourself.”
Desire crept across her skin. She needed this and she hadn’t really gotten it since before their breakup. He hadn’t dominated her. He’d made sure she had her pleasure, but he hadn’t demanded from her and she’d deeply missed it.
The last two weeks had been a slow, awkward dance. He’d been obviously nervous the first Sunday he’d spent with her. When he’d shown up on Tuesday afternoon, she’d been a bit shocked. When he’d knocked on her door on Wednesday, she’d smiled.
He loved her. He might never have said the words, but she knew it. He couldn’t look at her the way he did and not want her. He couldn’t show up on her doorstep after everything that had happened to him and not love her. It hurt her heart that he shied away from Emily, but they were working on the problem.
Love wasn’t easy. She’d learned that a long time ago. It had taken a while to put it together, but having her baby had crystalized so much for her. Her mother had been wrong. Her mother had allowed a single man to define her. Ashley wouldn’t make the same mistake. She was worthy. She was good. No one could take that from her.
But she could give to those she loved and she intended to give to him.
She walked past him with a confidence she hadn’t had before she met him. He thought he had nothing to give her? Oh, he’d given her this. He’d given her a sexuality she hadn’t known existed, a sexuality that wouldn’t exist without her deep love for him.
Her shirt was a button-down so she eased it off, unbuttoning one at a time. There was no real hurry. He liked to watch her. She liked to watch him watching her. She let the shirt fall to the floor before shoving out of her jeans. She’d noticed that he stared at her when she was in street clothes, like he was utterly fascinated by her normal life. Seventeen days. It had been seventeen days since they had signed their contract. She’d only asked him for two of those nights to be spent with her and yet he almost never went home. The moment she’d requested his presence, he’d taken advantage, sleeping in her bed far more often than he didn’t. Yes, he usually was gone before she awoke, but she had to think it was progress.
“The rest of it,” he said, closing the door firmly behind him. He glanced over, looking at the baby monitor.
He might not look directly at Emily, but he always made sure that her monitor was on before he got into bed.
Little things. They gave her hope. She’d realized that she couldn’t judge him by his words. His words came from fear. His actions came from his soul.
She slipped out of her bra first, releasing her breasts. Cool air hit them, making her nipples peak. She let her hands slide down her body, skimming her curves until her thumbs tucked into her panties. Pushing them down, she followed the line of her body until her knees hit the carpet. She shoved the undies aside and let her knees slide open. Her whole body relaxed as she slipped into her submissive role.
This was where she’d longed to be. Everything faded away except the need to serve him. There was nothing except pleasure in this place. There was no responsibility beyond answering his call. For however long he chose, she was free. She didn’t hate her life. She loved it, but that didn’t mean she needed these moments less. It simply meant she acknowledged her needs, her secret self.
“Do you know how beautiful you are to me?” He put a hand on her head.
Tears pierced her eyes. “I know how beautiful I feel when you’re with me.”
There was a moment of silence, but she’d gotten used to that. Whenever she told him she loved him, he paused as though he needed to soak it in. After a long moment, his hand moved, cradling her skull. “You make me a better man.”
Hope sparked through her. It was going to work. It would. He loved her. She loved him. It might take a while, but he was smart. She could teach him. “You make me a better woman.”
“I doubt that, love, but I’ll listen to it.” His hand moved to the back of her neck. “Help me out of these clothes.”
She reached for the fly of his slacks. He always dressed for business if they weren’t at Sanctum, and if she had a chance, she would get him in a pair of jeans. They would hug his perfect ass. He was so freaking gorgeous, but he didn’t know it. He dressed for occasions, not to show off his body. He dressed for work or the club and he struggled at anything else. She could so help him with that. She would dress him to please her because he was the most beautiful man she’d ever met.
His cock sprang forward. It was always like that. It was such an eager beast. Long and thick, his cock pointed right her way. She couldn’t feel like crap about herself when his cock was so deeply interested in being close to her. She took a deep breath because she loved the way he smelled. Spicy. Masculine. Clean. He smelled so damn good. But she wanted him
to have what he needed and that was control. “I want to taste you, Sir.”
“I’m your Master, Ashley.” His words were a hard grind from his mouth. “Call me by my title. You could call any Dom Sir. You won’t touch another man for a damn long time.”
She couldn’t help but poke at him. “Some Doms share their subs.”
She felt his growl along her spine. “I don’t share shit. You’re mine. All fucking mine. If you have a problem with that, you shouldn’t have signed that fucking contract because I will hold you to it.”
“Good to know. So, how do you feel about me tasting you, Master?”
His hand sank into her hair, gripping her on the right side of pain. “I feel like you better do it or I’ll slap that ass silly.”
She actually kind of liked having her ass slapped silly, but she had other plans for tonight.
She leaned forward, licking at his cock in affectionate teases. A warm-up before the big show. She licked around the head of his cock, following the ridges and valleys, delving into the tiny slit that was already pulsing with cream. She loved that taste. His desire was salty and sweet and coated her tongue.
“You’re going to kill me.” He pulled on her hair, lighting up her scalp. “Take more. I need more.”
She sucked the head inside, running her tongue over the V on the back. She worked that very sensitive piece of his flesh, enjoying the deep groan she elicited from him. She whirled her tongue around, treating him like the sweetest bit of candy she’d ever sucked on, trying to make it last forever.
He sighed, a long, happy sound. “You feel so good. Suck harder. Take more.”
This was what she’d been missing. Before he never hesitated to tell her what he needed sexually, what made him happy. He’d been a shutdown bastard in real life, but he’d talked in the bedroom.
She began to work her way down his cock, licking and sucking in long passes.
“That’s what I want. I want you all over me.” His hand softened and he pumped his hips, forcing another inch in. “You’re such a smart girl. You know. You fucking knew.”
She dragged her mouth back. “Knew what?”
Before he had a chance to chastise her, she sucked him hard again.
He groaned, thrusting deep. “You knew I wouldn’t be able to resist. You knew I was addicted. If you got me here one night, I wasn’t going to be able to stay away. I want you to move in with me.”
Progress. Sweet progress. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Master. Maybe we should give it another couple of weeks.”
“Get up. I don’t want to come yet.” He reached down and helped her to stand. He kicked off his slacks and drew his shirt over his head, leaving himself beautifully naked, his every muscle tense with arousal.
She let him draw her close, their chests nestling together. He’d gotten so much more tender with her since he’d stopped keeping their relationship strictly to the club.
“Why won’t you come live with me? We’re together for the next year. I don’t want to sleep alone anymore.” He rubbed his cheek on her hair. She could feel his erection against her belly.
She wrapped her arms around him, hoping he understood her reluctance. “Keith, I have to think about Emily.”
“I’m not asking you to leave Emily.” He sounded so hollow, his voice going low. “She can come with you. I have a big house. You can pick her room. You can redecorate all you like. I want to be close to you.”
He was willing to endure her daughter. Her heart ached, but she had to be patient. He was still touchy, still not ready to open himself. She had to give him time, but her baby came first. “I’ll think about it, but I need time.”
He pulled away, taking her hand and leading her to the bed. “I have time. I’ve got nothing but time, Ashley. Would you move in with me if I married you?”
He sat down on the bed, pulling her in between his legs.
How could he be so casual about that? “You told me you didn’t want to get married.”
He leaned forward, kissing her nipples, one after another. “I don’t know that I do, but I want you. If you’re dumb enough to marry me, then I’m willing to do it.”
“That is the worst proposal I’ve ever heard.” But his mouth was doing amazing things to her. He tongued her nipple, making circle after circle around the nub.
“I can try again later.” His eyes came up. “I wasn’t the best husband.”
It was the first time he’d willingly talked about it. “You were probably very young.”
“Get on the bed. Hands and knees. If you want me to explain, then I get to play while I talk. I’m not good with the whole self-expression thing. It’ll be easier if I have something to distract me.”
She was willing to do just about anything to keep him talking. She crawled on top of her comforter. Almost immediately, she heard him rooting through his bags. He’d shown up this evening with an overnight bag and his kit. She was betting he wasn’t looking for spare clothes.
“Ask me your questions.” The bed sank beneath her under his weight.
“How old were you when you got married?” She gasped as he put a hand on her ass.
“I was twenty-one. I met her in college. This might be a little cold.” He parted the cheeks of her ass, and she nearly screamed when the cold lube hit her asshole. “Her name was Lena. She was pretty and submissive in bed.”
She closed her eyes even though it wasn’t like she could see what was happening behind her. “She sounds perfect for you.”
“Maybe not so much. I was a kid. I was impatient. I had already started my business even before I graduated. It seemed like the next step. You see, in my head, there were these steps and if I took them I would be happy. I watched my mom and dad. They were happy.”
He’d never talked about his parents before. If she hadn’t read Karina’s report, she would guess they were gone. “You sound like you were close to them. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
A hard hand smacked her ass, making her gasp. “You know damn well I’m an only child. You got a report from Karina. Are you going to lie to me and tell me you didn’t read it? Because I warn you, I already know the answer to that.”
“Okay, okay.” She tried to relax again. Her backside was on fire. He’d meant business with that slap. “I know. I know you were close to them and you haven’t talked to them in a very long time. Is it because of what happened?”
He’d said something about being hard on the people who loved him. She couldn’t think of anyone who would love him more than his mom and dad.
His fingers rimmed her asshole, a lazy motion as though he was considering what he would say. “Yes. I was close to my mother and father. They were good parents, but they were keeping a pretty big secret from me. I’m going to press in. Don’t clench.”
A finger started to breach the tight muscles of her asshole and she clenched. She told herself not to, but it happened anyway. It was perfectly normal to try to keep him out.
He smacked her ass hard three times in rapid succession. She couldn’t stop the groan that came from her mouth because her pussy was getting wet and wanton. She was almost ready to forgo the talking portion of the evening.
“Don’t you even try to keep me out,” he growled her way. “Your ass is mine the same way your body is mine. It all belongs to me and I’ll fuck you wherever and whenever I want to. I’m only playing tonight. I’m going to plug you and then fuck your incredibly tight pussy.”
She felt him try again, pressing his finger to her lubed-up asshole. “Why don’t you talk to your parents anymore?”
She needed to know. She needed to know why he no longer spoke to people who loved him.
His finger pressed in, making her squirm. “They didn’t tell me.”
He was killing her. He rimmed her ass, pressing in and gaining ground.
“About your condition?”
“Yes, about the problem with my DNA. They knew there was a possibility that it could happen and they didn’t
tell me.” He pressed in, opening her up. “It runs in our family. They lost my brother. They thought because I was normal, they were safe. I didn’t even remember that I had a brother. I was two at the time. They never talked to me about him.”
“Why wouldn’t they tell you?” It was difficult to breathe. She could feel hard plastic or glass against her asshole, working to get inside her. She wasn’t sure which.
“There was only a twenty-five percent chance that I would pass on the faulty gene to my kid. They knew me. I wouldn’t like those odds. I would never have tried, very likely never even have married if I knew the truth.”
“But you’re willing to get married again.”
He stopped and she was worried she’d lost him. “I want you. And you already have a kid. I don’t think you’ll be happy not being married. You’ll want that stability. You don’t understand that nothing is really stable, and I plan on you never understanding that. I won’t ever leave you, Ashley. If you marry me, I’ll stay with you.”
He didn’t understand the heart of the problem. “I’m not worried about me, babe. I’m worried about Emily. I can’t let her be raised in a household where she doesn’t feel one hundred percent welcome. And quite frankly, you’re right. I want more kids. I know you think I’m going to demand that my genes be involved in that in some way, but you’re wrong. There are so many kids who need a good home. I can be their mom, too. Besides, childbirth kind of sucks ass. I could totally avoid it for the rest of my life.”
“I hope that’s true, Ashley.” His voice didn’t hold a lot of hope. Or a ton of interest.
It was the only place where she wasn’t sure of him. It was the huge risk she was taking and she wasn’t just taking it for herself. She was risking Emily and that was why she couldn’t say yes to him. He was bending about some things and far faster than she’d dreamed he would, but she couldn’t negotiate with her daughter’s happiness.
Modern Fairy Tale: Twelve Books of Breathtaking Romance Page 112