by ANDREA SMITH
“Naw,” I said, not looking away from my computer screen. “Dinner out with the roomies. They insisted.”
“Did they now?” he asked, quirking a brow, and getting a bit of a devilish grin going.
Really dude?
What’s up with that look?
“Is there something you want to say, Darin?” I asked, giving him a slight glare.
“Just wanted to wish you the best on this special day,” he said, walking away. “You’ve been looking great, by the way.”
I contemplated his curious behavior. I mean, I was so over all of the bullshit that I’d encountered with him, having chalked it up to “That’s life” and gone on my way, hardly giving it much thought anymore. I certainly didn’t confide in him—or anyone for that matter—about my relationship with Cain and Eli. I wasn’t the chatty type about my personal life; I never had been.
It dawned on me that Darin, with his “you’re looking great” compliment just might be trying to rekindle something with me, and if that were the case, he was definitely barking up the wrong tree.
These past couple of months with my guys had been an experience for me, and not one that I’d likely ever want to part with.
I mean sure, there had been feelings within me that were confusing at times; little pangs of jealousy on the nights that I had opted to sleep in my own room (mainly to get a good night’s rest due to Eli’s snoring) when I’d hear the familiar headboard banging against the wall.
I had realized that they were going on without me, and yes, I had felt a bit jealous and insecure about that, I’ll admit.
But then I had thought it through, and had realized that if I’d gotten up and went into their room, they would’ve immediately welcomed me into their bed, and made love to me so hard that it would’ve taken my breath away, as always. So, I had reminded myself that it had been my choice, and not theirs, to sit this one out.
The only other aspect of it that still bothered me a bit was the fact that I knew I was head over heels in love with Cain. You see, I lay awake one night and totally dissected the dynamics of my relationship with these men.
And here’s what it boiled down to: we were all in love with one another and the depth of each person’s love couldn’t possibly be measured. I might’ve been a bit more in love with Cain; Eli might’ve been a bit more in love with Cain, but I was fairly certain that Cain was in love equally. And maybe that’s exactly what was needed to make this all work out.
But what about long term? How could this possibly work out long term if it continued being kind of lopsided like that, I had wondered?
And even if it did work out well, what then? I had to think about my future, and I guess on one’s birthday, there was a tendency to do just that.
I mean, somewhere in my future I knew that I wanted children. Marriage wasn’t mandatory for that to happen, so at least that wasn’t an issue.
I felt my eyes roll with my thoughts. Here I was, presuming things that I had no right to presume only two months into this…relationship.
My thoughts and reflections were interrupted when my cell vibrated on my desk. It was Trace.
“Hey,” I greeted him.
“Happy Birthday, lil’ sis,” he replied, very cheerfully.
“Thanks,” I replied, smiling into the phone.
This was the first we’d spoken since New Year’s Day when I had groveled. I had called him back that evening and told him to never mind, that I was staying put for now. Blessedly, he hadn’t asked for any detail. He’d probably just been relieved that I wasn’t moving in. Things were still a bit uncomfortable. I had decided that the next move would have to be my brother’s, and I was glad that he’d made the move.
“So, do you have plans for dinner tonight? Lindsey and I would love to take you out if you haven’t made other plans. I probably should have called sooner, I know.”
I was silent for a moment, not quite sure how I should respond. “Well, Eli and Cain planned on taking me out to dinner tonight for my birthday.”
“Hmm,” he responded, “How about if Lindsey and I join the three of you?”
Shit.
“I’m not sure what restaurant they had in mind,” I replied slowly, “But I guess I could find out and give you a call back?”
It came out as a question which is so not how I wanted it to sound. Like I didn’t want anyone else invading my inner sanctum with these men.
Luckily, Trace hadn’t noticed. “Great—call either me or Lindsey with the time and place. We have a gift for you, and well, it’s been a while since we’ve seen you, you know? I think we need to mend fences, Paige. I know that I want to and I hope that you do as well.”
“I do, Trace,” I replied. “I just felt like maybe you guys wanted to put me out of your lives…forever.”
“You’re family,” he sighed. “You’re stuck with us, and we’re stuck with you because that’s what being a family means, got it?”
I nodded and squeaked out a “yes.”
It was easier to reach Eli than Cain during working hours, especially around lunch time. I finished my now-cold cup of hot chocolate that I’d bought from the vending machine earlier. That was going to be my lunch after that huge breakfast I’d inhaled.
Eli’s office phone rang several times before he picked up.
“Chambers,” he answered, using his brusque workplace voice.
“It’s me,” I said, looking around to see how much privacy I had in my cubicle. Eli had an office, so there were no worries there.
“Hey babe,” he greeted, his voice softening. “How’s your birthday going?”
“Good so far,” I sighed, feeling my belly tingle like it did whenever either one of them used some form of endearment when speaking to me. “But I did get a phone call from Trace.”
I explained the conversation to him. Eli had no issue whatsoever with Trace and Lindsey joining us, in fact, he offered to phone Darcy to see if she and Easton wanted to join us as well.
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble,” I argued. “I don’t want everyone making a big deal of my birthday and feeling, well…obligated or anything.”
“Hey, no trouble at all, babe,” he laughed. “Besides that, with Easton there, we’re pretty much guaranteed that he’ll pick up the tab.”
“Eli, you’re so bad,” I giggled, swivelling my chair around so that I could toss my empty paper cup into the trash can.
“I know, babe, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, would you?”
I felt my cheeks flush as I recalled the delicious, “bad” things he’d done to me last night in our ‘family’ bed as we had started calling it.
“Would you?” he pressed softly.
“No, Eli. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I confirmed.
“Okay, so I’ll make the arrangements with Darce, and I’ll give Lindsey a holler, so that we’re all on the same page for our Paige tonight at La Chaumiere.”
“Now that was cheesy,” I giggled. “But I love you anyway, especially since we’re eating at La Chaumiere.”
“Love you,” he said. “See you at home later.”
“Bye,” I said softly into the phone, as I swiveled back around in my chair.
My smile froze when I saw Darin Murphy standing no more than three feet from me, in my cubicle, with a look on his face that told me he’d heard everything. He was just trying to digest it in his own mind.
Men like Darin weren’t used to dumping a chick and not having them heartbroken (like Darcy was) about it. At the very least, I’m sure he took offense to the fact that I didn’t at least stalk him a bit afterwards; or try to find out who his latest conquest was at the academy. That just wasn’t me.
Well…not anymore.
“Excuse me?” I said, clearly irritated that he hadn’t made his presence known.
He quirked a brow at me, his eyes narrowing infinitesimally as he spoke. “That explains it all,” he said, his li
ps forming a stiff smile.
“I beg your pardon?” I asked, feeling my blood pressure shooting up at his total disregard for my privacy.
He shook his head, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as if he were feeling some sort of strain. “The way you’ve been acting the last couple of months; all happy and bubbly—and not giving any of the dudes here a second glance. Several of us have noticed the subtle but definite change in your demeanor, hell—you’re in love with your roomie, aren’t you?”
I immediately tensed up.
“That’s really none of your business, Agent Murphy,” I snapped, trying my best to give him an arctic glare.
“Well, answer me this, Paige. Does the other fag know his dude is bi? And that Eli’s a cheater to boot? I could’ve sworn Darcy said Eli was gay.” He scratched his head in faux confusion.
“It’s none of your damn business what goes on in our house or in my life. I’ll thank you to keep your nose out of places it clearly doesn’t belong.”
Oh, I was pissed. That much was obvious and, if I had given a damn at the moment, I might’ve re-thought those words that had just been spoken.
By me.
“Our house?” he said, echoing the words I’d just put out there in anger. “Fuck me,” he laughed, “You’re banging both of them, aren’t you?”
“You’re out of line, Darin,” I deadpanned, trying to keep my cool before I let anything else out of the bag in anger. “What did you need? Why are you here?”
He turned around and looked at me, and I could tell he now was feeling kind of…stupid. “I was going to see if you wanted to get dinner—you know, for your birthday. Sounds like you have other plans.”
He turned and left my cubicle before I had the opportunity to tell him that having dinner with him—ever, wasn’t going to happen.
I put my head in my hands, wondering just how long it would take for Darin to spread some vicious gossip about me around to the rest of the office staff.
And then I remembered: it’s only gossip if it’s not true.
Still, I couldn’t think that anyone I worked with would have the nerve or the audacity to ask me straight-out about my private and personal life.
Darin had no class.
I was betting the rest of my colleagues did.
chapter 22
I snuck out of work an hour early, wanting nothing more than to put this day behind me. Darin’s innuendos had unnerved me. I didn’t need him stirring up any drama, especially since my internship was ending next month, and I had applied for a permanent position with the bureau.
I beat both Eli and Cain home, going to my room to take a shower and change into something suitable for La Chaumiere. If I even had anything suitable, that is.
I saw that two wrapped boxes had been placed on my bed. More gifts? One dress-sized box, the other one small.
My guys…damn.
I knew I should probably have waited until they got home, but shit, you knew that wasn’t going to happen.
I tore into the big box immediately, taking off the lid, and separating the tissue paper.
Oh. My God.
It was the most beautiful black dinner dress that I’d ever laid my eyes on. It was simple, but chic in the way it was cut. It had a sweetheart neckline with long sleeves that tapered at the wrist. It was perfect for La Chaumiere. I looked at the designer tag and saw that it was Donna Karan.
My Eli.
The other box contained a pair of earrings that matched the birthstone encrusted necklace they had bought for me. My birthstone was on the post, and each of their birthstones dangled daintily on a tiny gold chain from it. There was a note in the box.
“These will look great with the necklace.”
Lindsey, Trace, Darcy and Easton were already at La Chaumiere when our threesome arrived. I felt nervous for some reason, and by the time our entrees were served, I was pretty damn sure that Darcy had finished analyzing me under her mental microscope.
“I love your necklace,” she commented, glancing over at my birthday gift, “And the matching earrings,” she finished, her eyes skimming over them.
I fumbled with an earring, and felt my face flush under everyone’s perusal.
“Thank you,” I said. “Birthday gift from my roomies,” I smiled, doing my best to avoid looking at Eli who was sitting across from me. I felt Cain’s hand move over to cover mine in my lap. He gave it a squeeze.
“Well, they certainly spoil you; that’s for sure,” Lindsey piped up, taking a sip of her white wine. “How about a birthday toast?”
Trace cleared his throat.
“If I may?” he said, raising his glass of wine. “To our little sister on her birthday—in hopes that this will be the best one yet, and wishes for many more to come. And also to welcome Paige Matthews as the newest member of the F.B.I. family.”
“What?” I gasped, my eyes immediately widened in surprise.
Trace and Lindsey’s smiles were panoramic, and contagious, it seemed, as everyone else at our table smiled as if it were no surprise that my application for permanent employment with the F.B.I. had been accepted.
“You were going to find out tomorrow anyway,” Trace said. “I just pulled rank a little bit to get the information to make your birthday that much sweeter,” he finished, giving me a brotherly wink.
All eyes were on me and, for some reason, I was simply speechless. I mean, I thought I’d had a fairly good chance, but in all honesty, I just wasn’t one to believe in myself all that much.
“You seem surprised, babe,” Cain said quietly, his gaze penetrating me.
“I just don’t know what to say,” I said, a smile finally breaking through.
“Well I do,” Trace said. “Good job, Paige. You worked your ass off and I, for one, am proud as hell of you.”
“Hear, hear,” Eli chimed in, beaming.
“Congratulations and cheers,” Easton said, as we all held up our wine glasses to tap with one another’s—well, except for Darcy who was obviously not imbibing since she was pregnant.
“Thank you all,” I said, suddenly feeling shy at the amount of attention on me, and seriously not accustomed to it. “This is totally awesome.” I took a long sip of wine, and the warmth spread throughout me; my brother’s words echoed over and over in my mind. I never would’ve guessed just how much hearing Trace tell me that he was proud of me would make me feel. I felt an unfamiliar bit of self-pride and damn it felt good.
I was grateful as hell when Easton started conversing with Eli and Darcy started talking to Lindsey about the new nursery for the baby. I could feel Cain’s hand move from mine, and gently rub my nylon-clad thigh beneath my new dress. Immediately, my face warmed with a flush, and I felt that familiar tingle in my belly.
I took another sip of my wine, looking over his way, but he had started conversing with Trace. Although I knew where his focus really was at the moment: between my freakin’ legs.
I crossed my legs and squirmed a bit, however that did nothing to dissuade his talented fingers from finding my mound, his thumb now rubbing against my slit from outside my clothing.
Sweet Baby Jesus!
“Umm, excuse me,” I said, “I’ve got to make a visit to the Little Girl’s Room,” I lied. If I continued allowing him to do what he was intent upon doing, it would only be a matter of minutes before I’d be moaning my release.
“I’ll go with you,” Darcy piped up, scooting her chair back. “These last couple of months are hell on the old bladder.”
“Hurry back,” Cain said with a slight twitch of his lips, as he looked over at me.
The door to the large powder room had barely closed behind Darcy and me when she spoke.
“Hold up, Paige,” she said from behind, causing me to halt in my tracks.
Oh…dayumm.
I turned around to face her, and the accusatory expression on her face didn’t go unnoticed.
“Can we sit for a minut
e?” she asked, nodding toward the intricately carved, plum velvet settee against the mirrored wall of the powder room.
“Sure,” I shrugged, my pulse speeding up a bit because this could mean only one thing: Eli had shared the details of our relationship with her.
How stupid was it that it hadn’t even crossed my mind to ask him after all these weeks?
“Paige, you must know how important Eli is to me, right?”
I nodded silently.
“Then, please don’t think it’s none of my business, because when it comes to protecting him, there are no boundaries for me. Are you fucking Cain behind Eli’s back?”
Holy shit.
“Wh-what?” I stammered, momentarily taken aback by the conclusion she’d jumped to. “Why would you ask me that?” It was my turn to put some edge in my voice.
She leaned back against the cushion on the settee, one hand rubbing her baby bump in a circular motion, as if that had some sort of calming effect on her.
“The chemistry going back and forth between the two of you is kind of…well, obvious. And let’s just say I’ve been around long enough to know when a dude’s feeling you up under the table,” she finished, her eyes directly on mine.
Busted.
“It’s not what you think, Darcy,” I replied, feeling a sigh escape through my whole body. I hated that I felt compelled to be so secretive about my feelings for these men. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of it; it was just that I wasn’t ready for the negative reactions, disapproving comments and judgy attitudes that I knew would be forthcoming.
“Then what is it?” she asked pointedly.
I fingered my new necklace nervously, trying to decide whether I should tell her, and wondering if I did, could I trust her not to broadcast it? Her eyes were now on my necklace, watching as my finger rubbed each stone in it.
“Wait a minute,” she said slowly, “That’s a custom necklace, isn’t it?”
She didn’t wait for me to respond. “That’s your birthstone in the center. And the aquamarine—that’s Eli’s birthstone for March. What month was Cain born?” she asked, her eyes narrowing just a bit.