Brayden hangs his head. "Damn, just thinking about what she went through makes me want to kill someone. I don't want her to do it alone anymore. I want her to feel like she can turn to me."
"All we can do is give her time." We finished the rest of the lunch talking about Noah and this baby on the way. We ended up having a good visit. I feel a little lighter by the time I left. One talk is down, another big one to go.
It took a few more days and several more phone calls and texts, but Missy finally agreed to meet with me. I called Lani as well. I've tried to get in touch with Kerrigan, but haven't heard anything back. I thought she might like to be here since she was a part of what happened.
Both of them are coming over while Noah is at work. Lani arrives first. Missy arrives about five minutes later. Immediately, Lani starts crying. I can see that Missy has already been. Since I invited them over, I start our conversation.
"Thank you both for coming over. I've been worried about you since that night at Hansons." I continue on speaking directly to Missy.
"Missy, first off I want to say that I love you. I love you for the wonderful friendship that you have given me. I didn't know a single person when I moved here. You have been nothing but good to me and I thank you so much for that. If you don't want to talk about that night, that's your right. I will never ask you to tell me something that you don't want to. I want you to know that I am your friend regardless. If you decide to talk about it, please know that what's said here today will not leave this room."
Missy is still silent, but Lani decides to talk.
"Missy, can I ask you a few questions? Not about the night. I've been trying to make sense of a few things."
"Alright, I guess." Missy says quietly.
"Did we go to school together?" I see what Lani's doing. She's opened the door to get Missy to talk, asking an easy question. I hope this works.
Missy takes a deep breath. "Yes, we did, though I didn't realize it until I heard you talking at Hansons. I was a grade ahead of you and Kerrigan." She closes her eyes and continues on with her story. "A boy I had a crush on was going to the party. I heard him talking about it in Algebra. He called it the 'Party of all Spring Break Parties.' Everyone was going. It was going to be huge.
One of my friends was supposed to meet me there. We were both so excited. She helped me work up the courage to finally tell him. He didn't know that I liked him. I'm not even sure now if he ever really if knew I existed. I got to the party and waited for about an hour for my friend. I didn't find out until a few days later that she got caught sneaking out and got grounded. I never saw the boy I liked. His name was Danny. As I started to walk through the crowd, a boy came up to me and started talking to me. He was so nice. No boy had ever talked to me like he had. I was having such a good time. He offered to get me a drink. I didn't want to be rude, so I said yes. After that, I can only remember bits and pieces. I remember I started to get sick after drinking about half of the cup. He told me to finish my cup and I would feel better.
I had never drank before so I didn't know then that it wasn't normal. The room started to spin. I thought I was drunk. He told me to follow him and he would take me to the bathroom. Only he didn't take me to the bathroom. Lani, the story you told the other night, listening to you, I could hardly comprehend what you were saying. When you started telling us about you and how Kerrigan got brought into the room. I felt like I was right back in in there, except now I know more of what happened. I felt so ashamed, so sick. I didn't know how to handle it. So, I left. I ran and I've stayed away from everyone. I thought I was over what happened to me so long ago, but I guess I never will be."
At this point, I'm speechless. I don't know what to say to make it better for her. I can't stop the tears coming out of my eyes.
"A couple of months later, I found out I was pregnant. I have never told anyone my story. Not even my parents know what happened. I was a good girl."
"Missy, what happened that night wasn't your fault. EVER! I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"The only good thing that came from that night was Cade. He's been such a blessing to me. He's such a good boy. I don't want him to know how he came to be. I don't want him to think he was a mistake. He's never been that to me. In fact, he saved me. I don't know what I would have done without him. He gave me a reason to live. I made an appointment for an abortion. It was for two weeks after I found out. In those two weeks, I found myself talking to myself and talking to my stomach. I tried explaining to my baby why I couldn’t have him. When it came time for my appointment, I realized the baby inside me had given me the strength to get through the hardest time in my life. I didn’t go through with it. I couldn’t. I am so happy I didn’t."
"I'm so sorry, Missy. I never knew. I would have never hurt you intentionally. I would have never said anything if I had known it was you." Lani grabs Missy's hand and holds on tight.
Missy began talking again. "For years, it's all been fragments of memories. I can see the boy who gave me the drink. I remember bits and pieces of what those boys did to me. I remember hearing another girl's voice in the room. I didn't know the voice. I remember thinking that I knew the other girl in the room. She was familiar. I could hear the boys taunting you all. I wasn’t passed out. I was drugged. I had to have been. Lying there, my head was spinning. Things were blurry. After all this time, I wanted to forget that night ever happened, the things that happened to me. I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching this past week. I know now that I can't do this alone. I can't make myself forget. I've started counseling. It's going to take time, but hopefully I can get better."
"We're here for you however you need us to be," I say.
I had lunch delivered from a local Italian place. We ate, tried to get some normalcy back in our day. We all laughed a little. They couldn't believe how much my belly had grown. I seemed to have popped out since they last saw me.
Lani left a little after we ate, but Missy stayed behind a little longer. I'm glad for the chance to talk to her alone.
"Have you talked to Brayden yet?"
"We aren't going to work out. I need to find a way to tell him to stop calling. I need him to leave me alone."
"Why won't it work?"
She starts to cry. "Who would want me? Why would he want me now that he knows I've been raped? I feel so disgusting, so used up. I wish I had been able to tell him the truth when he asked me about Cade's father. But Molly, no one knows. My parents think I had a one-night stand at a party. I've carried this burden all by myself. It's been slowly killing me. Brayden's probably disgusted with me. I'm disgusted with me. How can he ever look at me the same?"
"Oh, Missy. Please don't think of yourself that way. He loves you. He wants you to confide in him. He was so upset when I spoke to him. He feels like he let you down. When you are ready, will you talk to him? Hear what he has to say? I'm glad you're talking to someone about that night. If you ever need anything, anytime, I'm just a phone call away.
“I’m not ready yet”
“I know.”
~~~
Work has been tolerable. Missy has weekly sessions with her therapist. She seems to be doing a little better. I catch Brayden watching her all of the time. He told me he is giving her space. He has stopped calling her, but still sends her one text a day. Every night, it's the same message. It never changes. Tonight, before Brayden left, I watched him typing on his phone. He was standing by the door, out of Missy's sight. I watched Missy get her phone out and swipe her screen. As she read her message, she smiled.
“I'm still here. I'll always be-B”
Chapter 30
Molly
It's 6 weeks until my due date. I'm standing in front of the mirror looking at my stomach. Every week I think I can't possibly get much bigger. Every week, I prove myself wrong. I've already started having the practice contractions called Braxton Hicks. Tonight, they are a killer.
I have kind of felt a little off all day. Noah tells me I worry too
much, but that's what pregnant nurses do. We know all of the things that can happen. Nurses are the worst patients. I have proven that every time I have an OB appointment. I even caught Dr. Chaney rolling his eyes at me.
Tonight we are going to a fundraiser for the hospital. We don't do these often, but this one benefits the E.R. in particular. I know I've taken forever to get ready. I'm sure Noah is about done waiting.
"You ready yet?"
"Yes. I guess, lets go."
"You sure this time?" He hugs me and smiles. I can't get comfortable. I've changed my clothes about six times already and even broken down and cried at one point.
"I'm feeling extra fat and very pregnant. I feel like I can't breathe and I have a lineman in my belly. I'm telling you Noah, something is off today." We've had this same conversation about every week. Every doctor appointment has gone great. Dr. Chaney tells us everything looks fine.
"Baby, we were just at the OB appointment two days ago. I've seen the ultrasounds and lab work. It's normal to be nervous. Besides, you've got your own personal emergency doctor."
"I know, I know. Come on. Let's get this night over with."
Noah
I hate these things. I know Molly didn't want to come either, but it's for the E.R. and we desperately need some new equipment. We start making our rounds to the tables; stopping to shake hands, make small talk. Schmooze and talk the rich people into opening their wallets and writing a big fat check. It’s crazy how much money people will shell out to get their name on a hospital wing.
Molly and I are making our way back to our table. She's really not feeling well and wanted to go sit down for a while. Just as I we are ready to sit down, I hear Avery speak.
"Hi there, Noah. How are you doing tonight?"
Hearing her speak my name irritates the shit out of me. I have told her to back off numerous times. I mean, Jesus, I'm married now. The bitch seems to try even harder, especially when Molly isn't around.
"Wow, Molly, you look great. I don't know how you do it, though."
"Do what, Avery?" Molly asks.
"Carry all that baby weight. How far along are you? Surely you have to be over your due date."
As Molly starts to say something back to Avery, I place my hand on Molly's stomach.
"She's beautiful isn't she? Knowing that she is carrying my son in this amazing body is stunning. It's incredible what a mother's body can endure, isn't it? I'm a lucky man. I hope everyone enjoys their evening." We go to sit at our table, leaving Avery looking like the stupid bitch that she is. First thing when I get back to work, I'm having a talk with Avery to let her know I will file formal complaint against her. I hope to put this shit to rest once and for all.
After sitting down to eat and finishing, I see some hospital staff that I need to speak to.
"Hey, I have to go talk to the chief and a few members of the board. Why don't you just stay here?"
"I have to go to the bathroom," she half smiles.
“You okay?"
"Yeah. Braxton Hicks again."
"Okay, go to the bathroom. I'll talk quickly and we can go home."
Molly
I've been feeling a lot of pressure down there. When I step inside the bathroom, I have to grab the sink to hold me up. I don't think these are practice contractions anymore. I'm in so much pain now I want to scream. Suddenly, I feel water trickle down my leg. Shit...I look up in the mirror and see Sarah coming out of a stall. She looks at me, looks at the floor and goes to quickly wash her hands.
"Are you okay? Did your water just break?" she asks.
"Yes, my water just broke." Without warning, I fall to my knees. I know in my heart that something is wrong. Call it a mother's instinct.
"Sarah, I need you to check me and see if you see anything. I'm having so much pressure. I know something is wrong." Son of a bitch, this hurts!
"Okay. Lets get you on your back. I'll take a quick look, and then go find Noah."
The pain is getting worse. Something is wrong. Sarah lifts my dress; her face falls.
"What? What is it?" I ask. I'm so scared.
"Molly, I need you to get on your hands and knees. Now." I don't even ask I just do it. I see her dial her phone.
"Yes. My name is Dr. Sarah Grant. I'm at the Belmont Hotel, the women’s ballroom bathroom. I have a pregnant woman who has a prolapsed cord." I die inside. I know exactly what that means. "I am placing a cloth on the cord now."
"Molly, how many weeks are you?"
"Thirty-four."
“Sarah, I need to push. I can't stop it. Please tell me it's okay for me to push."
"Yes, Molly. The baby needs to come out quickly." She starts counting for me.
I start pushing. Praying to God my baby will be okay.
"Good, Molly. That was good. Again."
Noah
I finish talking to the chief and am on my way to find Molly. I see paramedics come in. I follow them. I have no idea what was going on. When I see them heading to the women’s bathroom, I start to panic. I am paralyzed on the spot when I see Molly on all fours and Sarah is counting.
"What's going on?" I demand.
"Sir, I'm going to ask you to wait outside."
"No, I'm her husband and an E.R. doctor. Move out of my way!" I take a deep breath and go into doctor mode. I can't get through this any other way. "Molly I'm here. Sarah what's going on?"
"Molly's water broke, lots of pelvic pressure. She was having severe pain. Asked me to check her, said she knew something was wrong. She's fully dilated. Prolapsed cord. The baby's almost here."
"Noah, please help me. Make sure the baby is ok. I'm so scared. Help him, Noah." Molly is crying. I can't help the tears falling down my face.
"You're doing good, baby. Listen to Sarah. Keep doing what you're doing."
Sarah continues to coach Molly. "Again Molly, push again. He's almost here, one more time. Molly one small push and your baby will be here. Here Noah, you deliver your baby."
The next thing I know, I have this perfect tiny little boy in my hands. The paramedics hand me the scissors to cut his cord and a blanket. I suction his throat and rub his back to get him mad. I hear the most amazing sound I have ever heard. A loud, mad crying scream coming from my son. I can't take my eyes off him. It’s instant love.
I look up and see that the paramedics are working on getting Molly to the gurney. I stand up and place him in her arms.
She looks at me, then at him. We're both crying. She asks me if he's going to be okay. "You did so great, Molly. He's tiny, but perfect. Let's get him to the hospital so he can be checked out."
Seeing my wife holding my son for the first time is something I will never forget. She looks at me and says, "His name is Landon. Don't you think he looks like a Landon?"
"Yes, I think you're right, Landon Jay Stone." Honestly at this point, I would have agreed to anything she chose.
As the paramedics start rolling Molly and Landon out, Molly grabs a hold of Sarah. "Thank you, Sarah." Molly’s voice is filled with tears and the deepest gratitude. I look at Sarah and say, "You saved my son's life. Thank you."
When we arrive at the hospital, I follow Landon. Molly insisted. I watch them work on him. The doctor lets me know his lungs are under developed and he needs to be placed in an isolette. Other than that, he looks perfect. I put my hands through the holes and hold his finger. He wraps his very tiny hand around my index finger. When I feel how strong he is, I finally exhale the breath that I’ve been holding. I also start crying. I start thinking about my life and all the moments that have lead me here. Staring at Landon, I feel complete. If Molly had never come into my life, I wouldn’t know this unconditional love. It makes me wonder what was going on in my father’s life that would make him hate me so much. Landon will never have to worry about that. No matter what, he is my son. He will know that I love him, that I would do anything to protect him. I lean down and whisper into the isolette.
“Happy Birthday, Landon. I love you so much.”
He is sleeping peacefully. I pull out my phone and take a couple of pictures for Molly. I text them to my brothers. Then I head over to the postpartum unit. I get an instant text from Evan.
Is everything okay?----E
He’s perfect. Working on getting his oxygen levels up. Will let you know when you can visit. -N
Name?--E
Landon Jay Stone.--N
Nice. Congrats bro.--E
I walk in the room to see Molly crying.
“You okay babe?” I ask.
“No. I want to see my baby.”
“Has Dr. Chaney checked you out yet?”
“Yes, he said everything looks okay.”
“Let me get a wheelchair. I’ll take you over.”
“Thank you. How is he? Is he okay?” She is panicked.
“Yes. Here I got some pictures.”
“Oh my gosh. He is so tiny. Hurry Noah. I want to go over.”
We are on our way back to the NICU when I get a text from Maddox. It makes me sad.
You’re a lucky man. I can’t wait to see him. -M
You’re next.- N
I know he is ready to settle down. He has been for a long time. Soon he will figure it out, but he doesn’t know it yet.
If only. Kiss my nephew and tell Molly I said congrats. -M
Will do. —N
Chapter 31
Noah
Six weeks ago, the night Landon was born was one of the scariest nights of my life. Being born at just 34 weeks, he has done so well. He was little, just 5lbs 8oz. I was a basket case when we got to the hospital that night. He had to stay in the NICU for two weeks. His lungs weren't fully developed, which is common for premature babies. He had the hardest time learning how to eat. Molly was amazing through it all. She was with him almost constantly and there for nearly every feeding. She worked so hard doing everything she could to give him the best start in life. Each day he kept getting stronger. We are so proud of our little guy.
Finding Stone (The Stone Brothers Series) (Volume 1) Page 18