“Don’t apologize. We all have our things. I think people who make fun of others who are trying something out of their comfort zones are assholes.”
Avery wondered if that went back to his days of being bullied and getting in fights. Putting the snorkel back in her mouth, she bent at the waist and put her face in the water. Once she was comfortable with her breathing again, she kicked her legs up so that she floated in a straight horizontal line in the water. Although her feet leaving the ground made her stomach flip in a nervous little knot at first, she forced herself to breathe slowly. She soon realized that everything was fine, and she could just stand up again when she felt like it. Putting her feet in the sand, she lifted her head.
“I think I’m ready,” Avery said.
“Great, you’re doing wonderful,” Roman assured her. “But maybe just hold my hand in case.”
Not saying anything, Avery dipped her face back in the water, and when Roman reached out for her hand, she let him take it. Together they kicked lazily through the water. Well, Roman kicked and basically just tugged Avery after him, but she found herself enjoying it and relaxing bit by bit. When a huge school of blue tangs swam past them, she was able to smile at them through her mask and not freak out and run away. She prided herself on working through her fear, but a few minutes later she froze when she saw a large silver fish circling her. Almost as long as her, with tiger stripes down its side, the fish had a menacing jaw filled with jagged teeth and Avery could have sworn it was eying her up. Gasping, she went to put her feet on the ground and stand up, wanting to shoo the scary fish away.
When her feet didn’t reach the ground, Avery realized how far out they were. It only took an instant for panic to race through her, choking her throat as she flailed, the snorkel falling from her mouth. Opening her mouth to scream, she gulped a huge amount of sea water and coughed, sputtering as her head went under the water.
Muscular arms circled her, dragging her to the surface and spiriting her quickly toward shore. Avery clung to Roman, her eyes wide in panic, as she choked out the water she’d swallowed, sputtering and trying to take a breath.
“Shhh, just in through the nose, out through the mouth. Slow breaths,” Roman said, dropping to his knees in the sand and placing her on the ground. “Slow even breaths. On my count… one, two, three… and out again.” He ran his hand in circular motions on her back, soothing her as the panic slowed, until she could take a normal breath.
Tears welled in her eyes and Avery dropped her face to her hands.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
Chapter 31
“Don’t be. Let’s walk through what happened out there,” Roman said, sitting down in the sand beside her. “I find it helps take some of the scary stuff away if you talk through it right away.”
“There was a big fish. With nasty-looking teeth. He was eyeing me up like I was dinner. I was just going to stand up and shoo him away, since I know he’s probably more scared of me, but then my feet didn’t reach the ground and I realized how far out we were.”
“Barracuda,” Roman said, and reached out to touch the pendant at her chest, “I forgot to tell you to take off your necklace when you were snorkeling. He probably wasn’t looking to bite you, but rather the necklace. It looks like a lure to them.”
“Shut up. I was wearing a fishing lure on my neck?” Avery looked askance at her necklace.
“Pretty much. Best not to wear jewelry in the ocean. So was it the barracuda or the depth that scared you?”
“The depth.”
“Why?”
“I thought I could stand there and I couldn’t.”
“Didn’t you say you were a strong swimmer?”
“I am.”
“What happened to make you afraid of the water?” Roman asked, accurately surmising that there was much more to her fear than just what had happened out there.
“So… I’ve never been the biggest risk taker,” Avery began, pushing the wet hair from her face.
“Here, come on, let’s get in the shade and dried off. It sounds like a glass of wine may help?”
“Yeah, it will,” Avery said, and stood on shaky feet. Roman kept an eye on her as he laid out a beach blanket on the sand and pulled the cooler and hamper from the Jeep. Ushering her over, he pointed to the blanket.
“Sit.”
“Yes, sir,” Avery said, plopping onto the blanket. He handed her a towel and she wrapped it around her, grateful for the coverage.
“Talk,” Roman said, handing her a glass of white wine that he had poured. She took a sip, the cool liquid soothing her throat.
“As I said, I’m not much of a risk-taker. I was dating an outdoorsy adventure type – you know, all, Woooohoooo! Let’s jump from planes! and all that. Everything for him was an adventure. Frankly, he was a little exhausting, but still, it was fun to try new things and sort of open up a different way of living.”
“Sure, I get that,” Roman said, unpacking the hamper as she talked.
“Anyway, he took me kayaking on a river. Without telling me there were rapids. Like… big rapids. He thought it would be funny to see my shock.”
“That’s just… wow, that’s really dangerous.” Roman looked at her in shock.
“Yeah, like expert level rapids. I shouldn’t have been on that river. I… well, I died that day,” Avery said. She took another sip of wine and stared out at the water. Not only had she actually died that day, but it seemed like a part of her spirit had died along with her.
“Avery, I’m so sorry,” Roman said, reaching out to grab her hand. He squeezed it for a moment and said nothing else, letting her speak at her own pace. She appreciated that about him.
“The kayak flipped… yadda yadda. Basically, I had to be revived and then was in a medically-induced coma for a week. After that… It took a long time to recover from my injuries.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“It was, yeah.”
“And the boyfriend?”
“Took off as soon as I came out of the coma. I’m not sure if he wasn’t ready to face what a negligent asshole he’d been, or if he just wasn’t capable of helping me recover. I wasn’t exactly a fun girlfriend there for a while.” Avery shrugged.
Roman shocked her by letting out a string of obscenities. “Being in a relationship isn’t always about being there for the fun times. What kind of jerk leaves his woman in a hospital bed? What an incompetent stupid asshole. I’m sorry, Avery, but you’re better off without him,” Roman fumed.
“Yes, well, I see that now,” Avery admitted, hugging her arms around her knees. “It just stung for a bit. Like, made me feel not all that worthwhile. If he could only stay with me when I was whole… you know?”
“Not all men are assholes. Sounds like he was incredibly immature.”
“I know that. I know all of it. Rationally I know all the things, but the water thing still kind of gets me.”
“I don’t doubt it. Drowning will do that to a person,” Roman said.
Avery was shocked to feel a giggle bubble up. “You’re absolutely right. Drowning will do that to a person.”
“Well, I think you’re pretty brave for going back in the water.”
She smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you. I don’t particularly feel that brave, especially not after gulping a gallon of sea water, but still. It’s nice to hear. Even coming down here was a huge step for me.”
“Have you dated since your accident?” Roman asked.
“Nope. Hid myself under a rock and worked my way up the career ladder,” Avery admitted.
“Hence the part about you not getting any in a couple years?” Roman asked, then laughed at the look of shock on Avery’s face.
“Roman!” she shrieked, and smacked him lightly on the arm. “You weren’t supposed to eavesdrop!”
“It’s not like you all were talking that quietly. I was just walking down the hallway.”
“My mortification is complete,” Avery decided, burying her fac
e in her hands.
“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Roman promised. “I’ve gone a long time in the past before, too. But, you know, should you want to change that…”
It was meant to be a joking comment, but the silence stretched out between them as Avery looked over at him, her eyes huge in her face. Reading her correctly, Roman came and crouched in front of her, his face inches from hers.
“Are you telling me you want to change that?”
“I… Roman…” Avery looked helplessly at him. “This is weird. I’m on a dating show –”
“Do you like him?” Roman whispered.
Avery shook her head no. “But it wouldn’t speak well of my character if I didn’t give it an honest shot,” Avery whispered back, though it pained her to say the words.
“I think about you, Avery. A lot. More than I would like,” Roman said. Reaching out, he brushed his thumb across her lips.
“It’s a tough time. I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to kiss you,” Avery said, knowing her cheeks were probably flaming, and not caring.
“Then why don’t you?”
“Because I don’t like muddy waters. And this whole show thing is very muddied water,” Avery admitted. “I’m not a liar or a sneak, and I’m certainly not savvy enough to juggle two men. I… can you wait?”
“Wait to see how your date with Beckett goes? Wait to see if he chooses you? Now, what kind of man would that make me?” Roman asked, frustration lacing his voice as he sat back on his heels.
“And what kind of woman would it make me if I dated two men at once?” Avery whispered.
“Ugh.” Roman let out a sound of frustration, then wiped his hand across his face. “I hate to say this, but you’re right. And I did promise you this would be just friends today. So I’ll stand by my word – but promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“When this is over, no matter how it ends, you’ll give me one date. One actual real date where we can give this an honest chance. If you haven’t fallen head over heels in love with Beckett, that is.”
“I don’t think that’ll happen.” Avery smiled and felt the tension ease from her shoulders. “But yes, I’ll give you that promise.”
“Fair enough. In that case, may I interest you in a sampling of cheeses?” Roman brandished a plate of cheese under her nose and Avery found herself giggling again.
“Why yes, you may. I love nothing more than cheese on the beach with a friend.”
“For now,” Roman promised.
Chapter 32
It felt weird, sleeping alone in their room that night, and Avery wondered if Cherylynn had made her move on Beckett or not. What would it say about him if he made a move on her the next night, or whenever they had their date? Was he just going to sample all the women and then decide which flavor he liked best? Avery was struggling to wrap her head around how that worked, and it just really didn’t sit well with her.
She could leave, she thought, turning and punching her pillow under her shoulder more. She could just get up and leave and quit the show.
And be with Roman.
The thought of being with Roman was really what was keeping her up, if she were to be honest with herself – which wasn’t always a fun thing to do. But she couldn’t stop thinking about him and their almost-kiss. How could she be falling for another man when she was supposed to be focused on Beckett? What kind of weird alternate universe had she landed herself in? She wished she had her phone so she could talk this out with Ruby, but that wasn’t an option right now. Sighing, she resigned herself to a long night of lying awake.
Avery blinked awake, the sun in her eyes, and took a moment to register what had woken her. The gong below sounded again – it was their fifteen-minute warning before filming. Shoot! She must have fallen asleep late into the night after all, and overslept this morning.
Scrambling, Avery shoved her messy hair into a high ponytail, took the world’s fastest shower, and brushed her teeth. Throwing on a pair of cut-off shorts and a breezy red tank top, she zipped downstairs just as Jack stepped onto the pool deck. Beckett stood next to him, and Cherylynn was back, standing next to Lisette in the clothes she’d worn the day before. Avery craned her neck to try and catch Cherylynn’s eye, but she just looked straight ahead.
Hmmm. Avery wondered what was up there. Casting an eye back at the coffee station, she snapped back to attention when Jack began to speak.
“Good morning, ladies. I trust you all made good use of your downtime yesterday?” The women all nodded; Avery wondered what they’d all done, or if any of them had seen her ride off with Roman. In retrospect, it probably hadn’t looked that good to be leaving the villa with him.
“Avery,” Jack said, and she realized that he had already said her name twice.
“Yes, I’m sorry,” Avery said, a sheepish smile on her face.
“Beckett would like to take you on a date next. Can you be ready to leave in about thirty minutes?”
“Of course,” Avery said, and then remembered she was supposed to be smiling, not looking worried about the upcoming date.
“Lovely. Meet in front in thirty minutes. The rest of you, enjoy your time in paradise,” Jack said, beaming his too-white smile at them. Beckett wiggled his eyebrows at Avery. She grinned – while mentally cringing – and went back up the stairs, trying to figure out what to pack for her day out. Remembering Ruby’s advice about layers, she kept the outfit she had on and packed a few more things. Taking a few moments to tame her hair, she waited in the room until the last possible moment, hoping Cherylynn would come upstairs and tell her about her date, or what to expect. When her friend didn’t arrive, Avery had no choice but to descend the deathtrap stairs and meet Beckett, who was waiting at the front door.
“Ready for our big day out, baby?” Beckett asked, grinning at her and throwing an arm around her shoulder. Avery cringed at his familiarity, but forced a smile for the cameras as they climbed into the van outside.
“What are the plans for the day?”
“Oh, I’ve got something great planned, don’t you worry,” Beckett promised. He began chattering away about surfing and how he wished the island had bigger waves so he could show off his moves. Avery just stared at him, and finally nodded along, learning quickly that she didn’t have to say much for him to just keep talking. And talking. And talking.
When the van finally rolled to a stop, Avery glanced out of the window.
“Azure Falls Hotel?”
“Yeah, baby, they got a lazy river and a DJ. We’re gonna party all day. It’ll be sick,” Beckett promised as he helped her from the van.
Avery pasted a smile on her face and walked with him through the lobby, cringing a little as people turned their heads to stare at the cameraman following them. Beckett seemed to enjoy the attention, and smiled and nodded at everyone like he was a famous movie star. They were quickly ushered to a VIP section where a cabana bed was set up by the pool. Even though it was only mid-day, a bottle of champagne chilled in a bucket by the bed, and a waiter stood by at the ready.
“Welcome to Azure Falls. We’re here for anything you need today, please don’t hesitate to ask.” The waiter smiled, and Avery took the opportunity to order a large coffee and a croissant. She’d need the caffeine to get through this day, she thought.
“How about a mimosa instead?” Beckett asked, popping the bottle and laughing as the cork sailed into the pool, narrowly missing a woman swimming there.
“Mmm, not quite yet. I want coffee first,” Avery said and sat down on the bed.
“Oh, the DJ’s starting already. Sweet,” Beckett said, and stood by the side of the pool. When the DJ began playing an easygoing beat, Beckett whooped and fist-pumped the air.
Did this guy have no idea how out of line he was? It wasn’t like this was a party place. Avery looked around at the families staring at Beckett like he was nuts. The DJ was playing a super mellow regga
e song, which was absolutely fitting with the relaxed vibe of the pool. Clearly Beckett had no sense of his surroundings. Or maybe he just didn’t care.
“Beckett,” Avery called, patting the bed beside her, “why don’t you come sit down?”
“Sure thing, baby-cakes.” Beckett laughed and dove onto the bed, leaning on one elbow and trailing a finger down her back, making Avery cringe. “I like a woman who wants me in bed.”
Great, Avery thought. It’s going to be a long day.
“Why don’t you tell me about yourself, Beckett? How long have you lived in California?” Seeing that his glass was already empty, she figured out her strategy pretty quickly. Keep his glass full, keep him talking about himself, and – somehow – get through what was already shaping up to be a nightmare of a day.
Two hours and two bottles later, Beckett was snoring soundly in the daybed, much to everyone’s relief. He’d treated the crowd to a rendition of “One Love,” had pretended to ride an imaginary pony, and had cannonballed into the pool enough times that the manager had finally had to have a quiet word with him. Avery had intervened at that point, dragging him back to the daybed, feeding him French fries and water until he’d finally passed out – hopefully for a long time, Avery thought.
Pulling her book from her bag, she commenced to have a lovely afternoon, catching up on a few chapters and sampling a lovely fruit salad from the kitchen.
“Hey, baby! Oh man, what a great nap. I have to take a leak. I’ll be back.” Beckett woke up at full speed, startling Avery, and was gone before she could say anything else. Taking a deep breath, she put her book away and steeled herself for what came next.
“I’m hungry. Are you ready for our dinner? I have something special planned,” Beckett promised, smiling at her from the end of the cabana. He was handsome, Avery would give him that, but the idea of spending the night with him was proving to be increasingly difficult to swallow.
“What’s that?”
“We have a suite upstairs that we can go change in. Then I’ve got a romantic dinner planned.” Beckett offered her his arm and Avery took it. What else could she do?
A Good Chance (The Siren Island Series Book 3) Page 18