by M Dauphin
I know she told me last night just to do it and get it out of my system, but I know she’s currently muddling over that decision in her mind right now. She wasn’t thinking last night about the ramifications of everything if I let this happen with Max.
That’s why I can’t.
Right?
I head back into the office and leave the door open this time around. Maybe he’ll be less inclined to ignore my personal space and pin me against it if it’s open.
“You ready?” I smile, walking over to my desk.
Granted, my desk isn’t but three feet away from the desk he’s sitting at, but at this point in my day it may as well be a fucking crater sitting between us.
“Ready and waiting,” he says, eyeing me as he grabs the list. “But I don’t understand ‘balls’ Nora. I mean… you’re going to have to explain some of these to me.” He tosses the paper at me and chuckles, watching my cheeks flush in embarrassment.
“Well… Balls.” I clear my throat. “I mean…” I stare at him, that smile of his bright on his face, laughing at me as my face turns into a damn tomato. “I got nothing. I have no clue why this says balls,” I say, shaking my head.
He lets out a laugh and leans back in his seat.
“I think you need me more than you realize, Ms. Avondale.”
I narrow my eyes at him, those words so heavy with meaning, and nod.
“Then we should probably get started if you’re ever going to give me what I need, Mr. Holzer.”
He grins at me and clears his throat and we get to work, leaving behind all the sexual tension that laced this room mere minutes ago.
It’s three in the afternoon by the time we break for lunch. I order subs and head out to the boutique to find Ava texting someone with a dumbass grin on her face.
“How’s it been today?” I ask, leaning on the counter, eyes slowly trailing towards my office door.
Stop that, Nora.
“Slow,” she sighs. “But I’ve got a lot of merchandise restocked and a list of things for you to re-order.” She hands me a paper and smiles. “That’s it. How’s it going in there? You two looked hard at work all afternoon.”
“Yea,” I smile, thinking of all the times I caught him watching me as we went over things. “It’s going well.”
“Well enough to extend it to an all-nighter?”
“No,” I say, not giving in to her wanting to talk about us.
There is no ‘us’. There are two people that met randomly in a totally different part of this country. There are two people that enjoyed each other’s bodies that night, six months ago.
There’s also two people that I’m certain want it to happen again.
I huff and walk outside to wait for my food.
I can do this. I can work with him, try my hardest to ignore the attraction to him, and keep things where they are with Nick.
Nick’s not a bad guy. Sure, he’s a little stuffy, but he’s nice and he treats me good. I don’t want to be exclusive with him because I don’t want to get lost again. I did that once years ago and I vowed never to turn myself into someone else just so they like me. Nick’s family is money… lots and lots of money. If I were to agree to be exclusive and all that shit, I’d have to make sure I was always on the top of my game, and some days I like walking around in my Victoria’s Secret sweat pants and no bra.
Nick’s safe.
Max? Well… Maxwell Holzer is someone I could fall deep into, with no way out.
I don’t need that.
Our sandwiches arrive within five minutes of me being outside, soaking in the warm sun, and when I make it back to the office, Max is nowhere to be seen. I set our things down and head out back to grab him so he can get some food in him. I can’t believe we almost forgot about lunch.
I swing open the back door and glance around, finding him leaning against his truck on the far end of the parking lot. His eyes meet mine and hold me there, standing in the doorway just staring at him. The dark denim, the mussed hair, the black t-shirt. Maxwell Holzer has ‘bad boy’ written all over him, but my lady bits don’t seem to get the same signal.
Right now, the signal they’re getting is currently calling them towards him so they can be fucked in the back of that huge black monstrosity he calls a truck.
I slowly walk out to him, keeping my eyes locked on his as I make my way out to him. He takes a final drag of his cigarette and tosses it to the ground, only looking away briefly as he snuffs it with the tip of his boot.
“Those things are gonna kill you,” I say, nodding towards the ground.
“I hear that a lot,” he says, grinning. “Lots of things in this world will kill us, Nora. We can’t not live because of fear of death. We’re all dying. It’s all about making life worth it, isn’t it?” His gaze is so intense it takes me by surprise. I wasn’t ready for some in-depth conversation; I was simply stating a fact.
“No, we shouldn’t,” I whisper. Max’s hands are tight in his pockets and he raises his eyebrows at me as the wind picks up and blows my hair directly in my face. He chuckles and reaches out, swiping it out of my face and locking eyes with me again.
“Those eyes don’t deserve to be covered,” he whispers. His words take my breath away, and for a moment I completely forget about my decision to keep him at arms length. When he takes a step towards me, I can feel his body heat he’s so close to me.
Then I snap out of it.
“I just think we should be friends,” I blurt before I lose my nerve and jump him right here in the parking lot.
He pauses, obviously taken by surprise, and a slow smile creeps up the sides of his mouth.
“You do, huh?” Max cocks his head and shoves his hands back into his pocket but doesn’t make a move to back away, and I don’t have it in me to move away from him. Hell, he even smells good!
“I do,” I manage. “It’s for the best. Business and all. Plus Nick,” I murmur. Shit, Nora, why the hell did you have to bring Nick into this?
“Nick, huh? You guys serious? You two like, dating or something?” His eyebrows rise as he watches me for a reaction.
“That’s not it,” I blurt too fast, then watch another smile creep onto his beautiful face.
“Right,” he whispers. “Then Nora, my friend.” He stresses the word friend, like he knows this whole game isn’t going to last long. “I’m happy to have a friend like you.” He winks, then before I have a chance to retort he brushes gently past me, allowing me to smell him even better than before.
“Come on slow poke. Your lunch is getting cold,” he calls over his shoulder, smiling that beautiful smile back at me.
I roll my eyes at him and trudge back inside, suddenly feeling all kinds of wrong.
This doesn’t feel right.
I just friend-zoned Maxwell Holzer.
***
“What?! You what?” Ava is staring at me wide-eyed but I’m trying to ignore her. This dinner isn’t going to cook itself and it’s already after seven.
“You want a salad?”
“I’m not eating a damn thing until you tell me why you did that,” she protests. I roll my eyes and start chopping the lettuce. She’ll damn well eat it if I make it.
“Can you grab the wine?” I ask over my shoulder. If I ignore her enough maybe she’ll stop.
I feel the anger rolling off of her, but the mention of alcohol calms her the slightest.
“Only because I need something to take this edge off,” she mutters, hopping off her stool and walking over to the wine fridge. After pouring herself a glass, she walks over to me with an empty glass and sets it in front of me, clutching to the bottle and glaring at me.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” I mutter and roll my eyes. When I reach for the bottle she pulls it away and tsk’s at me.
“Not until you explain to me what you did and why you did it, missy.” She’s clutching the wine bottle so hard I’m surprised she’s not shattered it by now. I stare at her, knowing from experience she’s more stubborn than I am.
“Fine,” I groan. “You pour. I’ll talk.” I walk over to throw our chicken parm in the oven then stomp back over to the island where my wine is waiting. After a sip, I sigh and lean on the counter. “He’s not good for me, Ava.”
“Bullshit.”
“Excuse me, I’m talking.”
“And I’m calling bullshit. You know how cautious I am with everything, Nora. If you haven’t noticed, I’m on Max’s side on this.”
“Oh I’ve noticed. I don’t appreciate it.”
“I saw how much your loins yearned for him,” she says, trying to hold back a laugh but failing miserably.
“He’s danger wrapped up in a beautiful, delicious package, Ava. It wouldn’t end well and I know it. You should too, this isn’t like you,” I say, waving my arm at the cackling woman in front of me.
“Come on. You, of all of us, know it’s okay to take chances sometimes. Why not give him a chance?”
I narrow my eyes at her and sip my wine. He is pretty. Pretty damn sexy. And he’s good in bed, and he makes me laugh more than anyone else even if it is because he’s being cocky or a smartass.
He’s fun to be around. More fun than Nick.
And I’m not taken by anyone at the moment.
But I just can’t get my head out of that whole ‘bad news’ feeling it has.
“I’m not saying no chance, Ava,” I finally say. She squeals but I stop her in her tracks. “But the friend zone is where it’s at. For now.”
“Okay, that’s okay.”
“And we don’t say a word to anyone about this whole thing. Got it?”
“Girl Scouts honor,” she says seriously, holding up her three fingers.
I just need to keep reminding myself why he’s not good for me. I mentally start checking them off in my head the reasons why I should stay away.
Smokes, tattoos, mysterious, cocky.
So cocky.
Beautiful. Playful. Strong. Smells good. That smile.
Fuck! Wrong list!
I’ll figure this shit out.
At nine Nick calls and I almost let it go to voicemail.
“Hey,” I answer, sliding into bed for the night. For once I’m actually going to bed early; it feels nice.
“Hey you,” his crisp, clean voice comes through the line and I relax just a little. “How was today?”
“Good. We got a layout for a new add campaign started. Some new social links to startup. I guess I never really new the importance of being on every platform there is available, but Max seems pretty into this. He definitely knows his shit.”
I’m met with silence for a moment. “Nick?”
“I’m here, sorry babe. Listen, I’m thinking of a weekend trip in a few weeks up to the slopes of Colorado. I know you said Ava and you used to ski. How about heading up with us?”
“Wow,” I mutter, shocked. “Um… can I think about it? It sounds great, but I just don’t know if I can close the shop for that long without hurting from it, you know?”
“Absolutely,” he answers. “Will you let me know by the end of the week though? There’s extra space in the house if you guys don’t go.”
“Yes, I totally can do that.” I sigh and rub my face.
I really don’t want to go… but I really don’t want to be a bitch and turn him down again for the second time in two days.
He makes small talk with me, trying to be nice, but obviously wanting to pry every detail out of me about Max being in my office today. Nick is too nice, though. He’s not going to push. He’s not going to force my hand at anything. He’s a good guy and I suddenly feel a smidgen guilty over this whole Max thing. I mean, I’m not leading Nick on, by any means. I’ve made it very obvious I don’t want to be exclusive or anything and for now he’s okay with this situation we’re in. It’s a friends-with-benefits type of situation. No strings, no commitments. I’m not taking anything away from Nick by thinking this way about Max. Now, if I told Nick I didn’t want commitment, then ran into Max’s arms and shut out Nick, there’d definitely be a pissing war.
I said Nick was a nice guy; I never claimed he was a pushover.
I need to decide what I truly want. Talking to Ava today opened my eyes to the fact that I’m playing it super safe, but what if Max is too dangerous? A little is nice, but too much can mean jail time or worse.
“New shipment, boys,” I boast, closing the door behind me and walking into a room full of college kids in need of their next fix.
I’ll never get over this feeling of power I have when they look at me like the dogs they are, begging for their next meal. Most of them look to be handling the delay pretty well, but the one in the corner, black shaggy hair and red-rimmed eyes, looks like he’s about to kill for his next hit. Even from this far away I see the tremble in his limbs. He’s withdrawing and he’s about to hit rock-fucking-bottom if he doesn’t get some quick.
“’Bout damn time,” one of them grumbles from the back.
“You wanna get the fuck outta my room?” I say, squaring my shoulders with him. He narrows his eyes at me, his hand practically scratching the skin off his forearm.
“Nah man,” he huffs, backing up a bit.
That’s what I fucking thought.
“All right boys, first come, first serve, no holds. There’s pot, a few different types of pills, a few ounces of crack, and some rocks here for those of you who like to live on the wild side.” I wink at Deig as he starts collecting money, and within five minutes we’re completely cleared out. Most of these kids are here for the pot. The majority of the students I sell to just want the relaxation to take the stress off.
Some of them are more hardcore though. The one in the corner makes his way to me, knowing the crowd, he’s not too rushed to push through them. What he wants isn’t their taste.
“All the weed gone?” he asks, looking around the room nervously.
“Yea man. I know that’s not what you want.” I smile and slide the bottom drawer out, revealing the white powder.
“How much?” He sniffles, his hand shaking in his pocket.
“Fifty a pop.” I pull out a baggie and hold it up for him to see.
“I’ll take them all,” he grunts, tossing a wad of bills on the counter.
I narrow my eyes at him and flick my gaze to Deig who’s cleared the room of everyone else and is watching us carefully.
I’m not one to deny a sale, but there’s enough shit here to kill someone six times over. I’m sure of it. This kid looks like he’s got a fuck ton on his plate and I don’t want to be the reason for someone’s life to come to an end.
“Maximum is three bags, man,” I mutter, watching Deig’s eyes narrow at me.
“The fuck?!” The kid shrieks. “I have the fucking money, just sell me the drugs!”
“Three or none; your call.” I shrug, starting to close up the case.
“Fine, fine,” he blurts. “I’ll take the three. Where will you be next?”
“You’ll know,” I say, winking. “Pleasure doing business with you, kid.” I hand him the baggies and he all but runs out of the room, head hung low and on a mission. After locking up the precious cargo and tossing it in my bag, I sling it over my shoulder and look over at Deig who hasn’t moved.
“The hell you turning down that much money for?” He crosses his arms and glares at me.
“You really wanted me to sell that kid everything? He was on a fast track to the grave and you and I both know we don’t need that shit traced back to us.”
“The money, Holzer! You turned down a fuck ton of money!”
“To save his life, Deig!”
“Oh, right, you all of a sudden care about these kids’ wellbeing? Is that it? Then why the fuck do this anymore?”
I glare at him for a moment and almost run after the damn kid and unload on him, but I can’t do that.
“Smoking pot… snorting a line… shooting up once in a while—those are all things I can live with. Hell, we
both know I don’t judge when it comes to that. But when someone wants to use my product to end their life, I’m going to put my fucking boot down, Marcus.”
His stance relaxes and he shakes his head.
“You’re right. I’m not happy about the money thing, but you have a point,” he huffs.
“Can we go now or are you going to throw a hissy fit about something else?” I grin, walking past him.
“Fuck off, Holzer.”
“I love you too, man.”
We make it back to the apartment and go our separate ways. I used to like living alone, but now it can be very, very boring at times. I could go out and party but I have to be back at the store at 9am tomorrow, so that’s probably not the best of ideas.
Do I need to go back there tomorrow? Nope. I have everything I need from her and anything from here on out can be done through emails. I’ve been working in her office for three days now and each day the sexual tension in that office could be cut with a knife. She put me in the zone that most men don’t come out of, but I’m not most men.
I will get through to her. I know I will, because I see it happening already. No, there’s no reason for me to need to be in that store tomorrow. I want to, though. I want to go back and get in her space. I want to make her uncomfortable with her decision to fucking friend-zone me. The more I slowly push myself into her life the better.
Hell, I wonder what she’s doing right now?
I pull out my phone and shoot her a text.
ME: Dinner plans?
My finger hits send and before I know it my phone’s dinging in response.
Nora: Not yet. Staring at an empty fridge.
I smile and sit on the couch, typing out my response.
ME: I feel like hanging out with a friend. You in?
I stare at my screen, waiting to see that she read it, then waiting for her reply. As the three tiny bubbles start blipping across the screen, I feel a grin sweep over my face.
Since when do girls do this to me? Make me stare at my phone screen like a fucking fool with heart flutters when it comes to seeing answered texts.
So fucking weird.
Nora: Pizza? Meet me in thirty at the pizza place on 5th.
Yes.