by M Dauphin
“Hey, Carl,” I huff, walking over to him slowly. His eyes trace the roof and find me. He’s shaking, the gun in his hand gripped so hard his knuckles are white, and his eyes are bloodshot and dripping wet.
“It’s no use. They’ll find me. They always do. I need to get away from them before they find me, then they get to everyone else.”
“Who, man? Who’s going to find you?”
No one, you fuck. Because you’re fucking high as a kite and on so many drugs right now you have no clue what’s reality or hallucinations.
“Them. All of them. I’m saving you all, Max,” he whispers, his eyes wide. His mention of my name sends chills down my spine.
Shit, this shouldn’t have ever gotten this far. I had a bad feeling selling to this kid last time but I never thought it’d get this bad. I figured maybe he’d end up in the hospital and rat me out or something. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he’d end up crazed out and on the rooftop, threatening to blow his brains out in front of everyone at the party. Never did I think he’d steal from me in order to get what he thought he needed. Fuck!
“Listen. Can you hand me the gun and get down from there, then I can make sure they don’t get you?” I hold my hand out to him, scared to death he’s going to jump away and fall before I can grab him.
“No, man. I can’t. They’re coming for me!” He’s shaking, his eyes bright red, and I can’t even tell at this point if it’s the coke that’s making him this crazed or if he’s on something else.
“Just… come on. Do you really want to die today?” I point to the ground and see him look around frantically. “No. No you don’t. Just hand me the fucking gun, man. Then we can talk about getting you help.”
He stares at me blankly for a moment before taking a breath and grinning. His hand stretches out, the gun resting in his open palm.
“Fine, take it,” he whispers, his eyes wide. I breathe a massive sigh of relief and snatch the gun from his hands, sliding it in the back of my jeans then watch as he grins at me.
“Come on down now. Let’s get you help,” I say, holding my hand out for him. There’s a short wall behind him to stop him from falling off, but the minute I take a step forward he turns and steps on top of the ledge. The screams from down below echo throughout the night and I hear the police sirens in the distance.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Dude, the cops are coming. Get down and I’ll get you away from here before they find you and take you in.”
“I have a better idea, Max,” he says, looking back and winking at me before stepping off the ledge. I scream and lunge for him, barely making it to him, my finger brushing his shoe, as I watch him go down. Holy Shit. My stomach drops and I watch as his body hits the pavement below. A four-story building, surrounded with brick sidewalks, and he’s gone.
I was too fucking late.
The crowd goes silent and the thud when his body reaches the concrete is something nightmares are made of. Watching his body hit… good God. The blood… the crunching. Even from this far up it was like I was right next to him. Those poor people on the ground. I hear screams, I hear the crying, but my eyes won’t leave his body.
Fuck.
I think I’m going to vomit. Scratch that…
I back up and hurl on the rooftop, wanting nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.
“Fuck,” I groan, wiping my mouth and trying to stand up. Everything’s moving in slow motion as I move down the stairs. Nora’s body slams into mine the minute I get to the bottom of the stairs. She’s sobbing… I think Ava’s sobbing. Everything’s a blur.
I’m the reason someone’s dead.
Does that make me a murderer?
The cops arrive and we’re all told to wait around for statements. The rest of the night is a blur. The smell from the body that they still haven’t cleared is getting to me and I think I could hurl again. Nora’s clinging to me, her hand tight in mine, but I still feel cold. So fucking cold.
“Let’s go, man,” Deig says after we’re cleared to leave. I nod and take Nora’s hand in mine. I need her to ground me right now… because I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to get through this if she finds out the truth.
He ushers us back to my truck and climbs in. The girls take his car back to our place and he drives my truck.
Fuck, what if someone rats me out.
“Hey, it’s fine. You’re covered, Max. It’s fine.”
“I need out, Deig. We’re done. No more of this shit,” I growl, wringing my hands together with worry.
“Yea, no fucking joke. Too far, Max. This all got too out of hand.”
I shake my head and groan.
“You gonna tell her?” He nods to the girls in the car pulling in next to us at the apartment.
“No,” I snap. “No need. Why? Ava know?”
“Nah man. I don’t know what the hell we are yet, but I haven’t told her anything.”
“Good. It stays that way.”
I get out of the truck and Nora’s body is immediately wrapped around mine. She smells divine, like heaven, and I’m a total jackass for putting her through all of this.
“You okay?” she whispers, hugging to me tightly.
“I will be,” I manage.
“Let’s go in,” she says gently, grasping on to my hand and walking me inside my apartment.
Slowly she strips me of my layers. Her fingers graze the lines of the bold tattoo running down my right arm. We lie in bed together and I hold her tight, wanting tonight just to be over with.
“Are you sure he’s okay?” Ava asks.
Last week something happened that changed all of us, but none of us are really talking about it. Ava said Deig has been closer to her lately than he ever has before, but Max has been quieter than I’ve ever seen. I’m sure it has something to do with what happened that night, but there was nothing he could have done. That kid was ready to jump before we even got there. Max got the gun out of his hand, potentially saving a bigger hell for other people around, but it couldn’t save the kid from jumping and I don’t know what to do to help him. We made love last night. It wasn’t a quick fuck, it wasn’t hard; it was slow and steady and so perfect I almost cried.
When he told me he loved me the other day I almost said it back, but I didn’t and I don’t know now how to say it without him thinking it’s just because I feel guilty for not saying it before. I do love him, I just think it was all so sudden and now I don’t know when a good time to say it is.
“He’ll be fine,” I huff, wrapping up the work for the week. We’re officially closing the store for three days to all head up to Chicago for my dad’s wedding. Ava, obviously, is a part of the wedding and she’s bringing Deig, so we’re all flying in together tonight. I’m looking forward to getting away from here for a few days. I think it’ll do everyone good.
“Let’s party!” Ava squeals, jumping up from her seat and running to lock up the store. This is the longest we’ll have ever been away from it and I’m looking forward to having a break from work. Granted, it means money will be tight, but hopefully with the holidays coming up in a couple of months we’ll make up for it. There’s no way I was missing my dad’s wedding and Ava feels the same way.
I call for a car to pick us up and we stop by the boys’ apartments on the way there.
“Hey, princess,” Max says smiling as he climbs into the back seat. “You look comfy.” He rubs my leggings and slides his hand up my leg as he pushes his lips to mine. “So comfy,” he growls.
“Stop, guys,” Ava whines. “Wait till your hotel room for that shit.”
I laugh as Deig climbs in and starts the same treatment to her, rolling my eyes when she doesn’t retaliate.
“Easier said than done, Ave.” I laugh, pulling her ponytail from the back seat.
The airport isn’t too crowded for it being a Wednesday night in September. We make it through security in no time, and when we get to our gate I smile over at Max.
“I h
ave a fondness for airports,” I say, smiling.
“Yea, why’s that?” He leans back in his seat and crosses his ankle over his knee, fingers clasped behind his head.
My eyes flick to the tattoos on his leg and I smile, remembering when we first met how I thought he was such a bad boy. He is, in a way I guess, but he’s really just a big teddy bear. With lots of sexy ink and a cocky attitude I love.
“I met some hot guy at one once.” I shrug and grin.
“Oh yea? Please tell me more about this hot guy.”
“Meh. He’s okay. Kind of cocky, but super fucking hot so I put up with him.”
He chuckles and reaches his hand over, wrapping it around mine.
“Well I’m glad you put up with him.”
“Me too,” I say, smiling up at him. He cracks a smile and I feel him relax a little.
He needs this trip more than any of us.
***
The next morning we wake up in the hotel room, limbs wrapped around each other and the sun threatening to blast through the curtains. We got in late last night and everyone was exhausted. I had full plans of bringing him to the room and fucking his brains out, but I think I ended up falling asleep before he was finished showering.
I grin and push my body against his, hearing him groan in his sleep.
“Jesus I love waking up this way,” he whispers, pulling me on top of him. He’s hard already and grinning up at me. His groggy voice is enough to make me wet immediately. Everything about this man is pure sex and he’s all mine.
“Morning,” I say, pushing myself on to him. He groans and his hands go to my hips.
“You wouldn’t believe I was just dreaming about this.” He sighs as I start to rock back and forth on him. “I’m perfectly okay with waking up to this every fucking morni— Fuck, Nora,” he groans, losing his concentration as I grind on him, leaning down and biting his collarbone.
He growls and spins us, pinning my hands over my head, slamming into me. Eyes locked on mine, he fucks me hard. Hard enough that I’m being sent over the edge and spiraling down, clenching around him and screaming out his name almost immediately. The feral look in his eyes right before he cums makes me fall apart under him.
“Mine,” he growls, slamming into me one more time then collapsing on top of me and pressing his lips to mine.
Panting, sated and sweaty, we don’t move for almost an hour.
“When’d you start getting these?” My fingers are tracing the bold black lines on his arm.
“I got my first at sixteen,” he says, eyes closed lying on his back, allowing me to inspect his tattoos.
“That’s so young. Did your foster parents know?”
“Not immediately.” He chuckles. “They were so pissed at first. Eventually they got over the inking and rebellion and found a way to get through to me. Scott has done wonders for my life. He’s the closest thing to a father that I’ll ever have.”
“I’d like to meet him one day.”
He shifts and grins at me, that smile sending chills through my body. Good chills.
“Me too. I think he’d like it too.”
I smile and continue my inspection of his ink, leading to the door on his forearm. It’s beautiful. I remember seeing it in the airport and knew it had to be special to him, but I’ve never asked. He’s closed off in some regard, only really giving information when I’ve asked.
“Hey, what’s this mean?” I trace the color bursts coming out of the half-ajar door. Around and around my fingers go, the colors change every inch or so, all mixed together to form one burst of light in an otherwise dark scene.
“That was my first one,” he grins at it, lifting his arm to look at it. “I don’t have a solid explanation really. At the time I was really into creating bright, bold statements. I thought it would look cool so I did it.”
“I mean, it kind of fits your life,” I shrug, smiling at him.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, you were dealt a shit hand. The door was closed on your future before you even had a say in it. But you’ve brought your own life and success, your color, to a dark world. You’ve broken through the stigma that foster kids who never get out of the system have. I’ve seen it too many times with my dad; foster kid breaks the law too many times and is sent to jail. Jail makes kid worse. Kid leaves and kills someone and boom, life ruined.”
He’s looking at me, eyes wide, stunned… or something. Whatever emotion it is, it’s new.
“Well… that’s a beautiful explanation of it. I like it a lot more than mine.” He clears his throat and shifts back to his back, eyes pinned on the ceiling. I sigh and wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his chest.
A knock on the door, followed by Marcus’ voice, brings us out of our ‘alone time’ and back into the present.
“Time to get a move on,” I groan, rolling out of bed and heading for the bathroom as Max heads for the door.
By the time we leave the hotel and head to my dad’s house I’m a ball of nerves. I don’t know why, but this weekend is big and Max is meeting people I grew up with. This is a huge step, him coming to my childhood home. I really need it to go smoothly.
“Ava!” my grandma croons when we walk through the front door.
“Nan,” Ava says, walking over to her and taking my grandma’s hug as if she were her own granddaughter. “How was your flight?”
“Well, some young punk had his head-buds on way too loud,” she scoffs.
“Head-buds, Nan?” I laugh, pulling her in for a hug.
“Whatever those tiny things in his damn ears were. You hipsters and your technology.”
Max barks out a laugh and everyone turns to stare at him.
“We’re the furthest thing from hipsters, Nan.” He chuckles, wrapping his arms around her. She swoons, literally swoons, and pats him on the chest when she pulls away.
“I’m just happy you’re here,” she says, smiling at me.
“Oookay. How about we get these wedding festivities underway? I have a father to give away tonight.”
“That’s my cue.” Max wraps his arms around my midsection and kisses me on the neck. “I’ll see you at the church.”
“Where are you guys headed?” I furrow my brows at him.
“Touristy shit. We’ve never been here.”
“Don’t get into any trouble. And no later than six, Max. I’ll need you there.”
“I know. I promise.” He presses his lips to mine and I think I hear my grandma sigh from the hallway. Rolling my eyes, I shove at him and laugh.
“Go, shoo. You two have fun!” I holler as they walk out to the waiting Uber car.
“You have that boy wrapped around your little finger,” my grandma says.
“Yea.” I laugh, heading for the kitchen.
“He tell you he love you yet?”
“Yes, Ma’am he has.” I smile widely.
She whoops and claps her hands, sitting at the table to finish working on the final arrangements for the boutonnieres.
“Thank God. It’s written all over his face.”
“I didn’t say it back.” I cringe.
“Why in the heavens not, Nor? You love him!”
“I know, grandma! I freaked and then it was awkward and then I didn’t know when the right time was. So, now I’m waiting.” I shrug and grab a cup of coffee.
“Honey, just tell him. Waiting for the right time… there’s never going to be one. You’ll make the time right by telling him.”
I sigh and smile at her.
“I’m serious, Nora. I may be old, but that means I’ve seen enough in my day to know when it’s real. Whatever he’s feeling for you is real, true, love. It’s the type of love that will crush you if you’re not careful.”
“I know,” I say. “It’s intense, grandma.” I pause and stare out back at the swing on the tree. I have very limited positive memories here of my family. For a short time we were happy I think. I want to remember my parents pushing me on that swing; I
want to remember taking long walks with them, but I don’t.
“Grandma, did you see it in my mom and dad?”
She stops what she’s doing and looks up at me with sadness in her eyes.
“Your mom,” she starts and shakes her head. “Your mom didn’t let me in until after she had already met your father and fallen for him. She was a rebel in her teenage years. They met and fell in love in a whirlwind of raging emotions, fights, and threats from your grandpa. There was nothing we could do to talk her out of it. We… your mom wasn’t programmed like you are, Nora.” She stands and walks over to me. “I’m sorry I don’t talk about her much. She’s my daughter, but she ruined so much, it’s quite embarrassing for me.”
“It’s not your fault, Grandma. She was a grown woman who made her own choices. I’m just happy you’ve stuck around and allowed me and my dad to be in your life after everything that happened.”
“Stop that, you’re my granddaughter and he’s a son to me. The son I never had. I love you two.”
“We love you too, Grandma.”
“Good. Now can we stop this nonsense and get back to work? We have only a few hours until we need to start preparing for the wedding and these flowers aren’t going to make themselves.
“Absolutely,” I say, smiling.
By the time six o’clock comes around I’m waiting at the church, nervous Max and Deig are skipping out. They haven’t messaged all day and they left so abruptly that I feel like something’s going on and they aren’t telling me.
“You look beautiful,” my dad says, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me.
“You ready for this, Daddy?” I say, smiling up at him.
“Absolutely. I’m so happy you’re here, Nora.”
“I wouldn’t miss it, Dad.” I shrug him off and pretend to fix my hair.
“Looks like you and Max are getting pretty serious,” he says.
“We are?” I furrow my brows at him and he gives me a weird look before a smile sweeps across his features.
“Yea. Just... happy you brought him with you. He seems nice.” He looks around the crowd of people waiting in the lobby and nods at someone. “Excuse me,” he says, kissing me on the cheek before walking away.