by Claire Adams
“So, you are okay with everything that I have discussed?”
“More than okay with it,” I said, putting my hand on her shoulder. “I love the care that you put into it more than anything.”
“I thought that once we were through most of the rooms, and Kayla had gotten used to the fact that there was going to be change, we could let her help us design her bedroom,” she said. “Really make it her space, instead of the blank canvas that it is now.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” I said, taking in a deep breath. “I really can’t wait for you to make all of these changes. We have needed some serious change in this house for a very long time, and these ideas are really going to make us feel more at home.”
“Good,” she said, smiling. “That is the idea: to make you feel like you live in a home. Like you can’t wait to be within these walls with the laughter of your daughter, friends, and family.”
“I’m actually thinking I’ll take a few days off of work and help,” I said. “That will leave you the ability to not worry about hiring a carpenter or painter, and I can really put my hands into this redecorating. I want to feel comfortable, but I want to feel accomplished in the work as well. Proud that I had a hand in making this place mine and Kayla’s. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but it will make it all that more rewarding in the end.”
“It’s not a guy thing.” She laughed. “I feel so much more accomplished when I am able to do these things on my own as well.”
I watched as she pulled out her tape measure and began writing out different measurements for the curtains and the photographs. Ten years ago, I would have done anything I could to get out of shopping for curtains, but with Alissa standing there, I couldn’t wait to help her do that kind of stuff. It almost felt like we were creating a space together, and that feeling was warm and comforting, not what I had expected at all. Me wanting to give her free rein was not like it was with Christina. I gave my ex the reins so that she would leave me alone about it. I was giving Alissa the reins because I trusted her and I wanted this to be something we did together.
Alissa finished up her measurements and smiled at me before walking out of the room and into the hallway. I stood there for a moment, watching her, wondering what she was feeling and what she was thinking about me. I was going to be spending quite a bit of alone time with her over the next couple of weeks, and that was exciting to me instead of scary. When I was with her, all the anxiety over our parents being married just floated away. I didn’t know if it was comfort or just not giving a damn, but it was nice to see her for who she was and not worry about labels or societal views on everything. It was the first time in a very long time that I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for my feelings, and I liked that feeling.
She looked up at me and smiled, motioning for me to follow her to the guestroom to hear her thoughts. At that moment, I felt like I would have followed her anywhere if it meant that we could extend our time together. In reality, I didn’t care what she did with the guest bedroom. I was just happy to watch her eyes glimmer as she explained what her vision for the room was. She was passionate about her career, like I was with landscaping, and I realized why she loved to do what she did. It wasn’t always fun or exciting, but it was what she was really good at, something I understood very well.
Standing there and watching as the sunshine cascaded through the windows and lit up her face, I couldn’t help but feel like I was making the right decision. Getting involved with Alissa was no longer wishful thinking to me. Getting involved with Alissa had become a goal, something I wanted more than anything at that point.
Chapter 10
Alissa
It had been hours since I arrived at Ryan’s house, and we had made some seriously good headway into the decorating. He had been okay with all of my ideas, including his bedroom, and after we toured the place, we sat down at the computer and started going through the different furniture and accents for the house. I was surprised, but he actually had a lot better view on things than I thought he would, and I was more than excited at the different pieces he picked out.
I tried to stay focused as well as I could, especially since there was a serious intensity between us that I couldn’t put my finger on. It had been there since I walked in the door, and I was finding it harder and harder to breathe every time we were close to each other. While we were looking at the different sites on the computer, my knee brushed against his, and I could feel the heat rise in my chest. I didn’t think I could have moved if I wanted to, which was okay because he seemed more than happy to have my leg rest against his.
I was still there when Kayla came home, and she looked at me and half-smiled as I poured her some juice and got her a snack. She thanked me and made her way up to her room, leaving us alone again in the kitchen. Ryan finished bookmarking several things that he thought would be great in the house and sighed, stretching his arms over his head and smiling.
“This is fun.” He laughed.
“I think so,” I said with a smile. “I was thinking, maybe we shouldn’t wait on talking to Kayla about her room. That way, I have time to really make it as special as I can.”
“I agree,” he said. “She should definitely have input, and the more time we have to find her style, the better. That way if nothing else, she loves her room and can feel comfortable in it. She spends most of her time there these days.”
“Well, hopefully when the whole house is done, it will bring her out of her space, and she can be happy anywhere in the house,” I replied.
We walked together toward the stairs, and he let me go ahead of him. I could feel his eyes on me as I moved up the stairs, and I found that I really liked that feeling. That feeling of knowing that someone is desiring you, that someone is finding you attractive in ways you don’t even feel about yourself. I knew that I had done it to him more than a handful of times, but with the tides turned, it was extremely arousing. I pushed the thought from mind as we made our way down the hall to Kayla’s room. Ryan knocked and walked inside, and I followed behind him. He sat down next to her on the bed, and I looked around the room.
“So,” he said, looking at Kayla. “I hired Alissa to redecorate the whole house to give us a fresh start. We thought that it was really important that you give us your input on how you want your room to be. I want you to feel at home, and I want you to start brightening up a bit. This is your house and my house now, and it can be anything we want it to be.”
“She’s the decorator with all the plans,” Kayla snipped, nodding toward me. “She is going to do whatever anyway, so what’s the point?”
“That’s not true, Kayla,” I said, stepping forward. “I want your room to be yours. I value your opinion very much. You are already a very talented decorator, and I think if we put our minds together, we could come up with a really amazing room for you.”
“All right,” Kayla sighed. “Tell me what you think.”
“No,” I replied. “Tell me what you think. I want to know what you envision.”
“Well,” she said, standing up. “I have given this quite a bit of thought actually. I want to get rid of all the baby stuff, including the dresser and bed. I’d really like to have a queen-sized bed with posts, like the one in Dad’s room. I’d like to have a dresser and then start hanging a lot of my stuff in the closet. I would like to see cubby holes for my notes and drawings, a desk for drawing, and then a computer desk for homework and stuff.”
“I like that,” I responded. “What about colors?”
“I like dark blue, and I like pink,” she said. “Maybe the walls could be dark blue.”
“Well, if you do the walls dark blue, the room is going to look a lot smaller,” I replied, trying to steer her away from the cave she was building. “What we could do is do a neutral color on the walls and accent that with different colored square cubby shelves. Those can be attached right over your desks so you can store things in there but not take a bunch of your floor space up. Then you could do a bedspread on
your bed that has those colors in it. Maybe like a blue and pink paisley print. We have lots of ones you can look at and choose from.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding.
“And, if it’s okay with your dad, since he is getting all new furniture in his room, you could take his furniture. It would reuse the existing stuff but be exactly what you described. We could even take your closet out a few more feet and make a small walk-in for you.” I opened the closet door. “Then you would have all the space you could ever want for your stuff. We could put in a set of speakers so you could listen to your music, too.”
“Wow,” she said in amazement. “I really like that idea. Dad?”
“I’m perfectly fine with that.” He smiled.
“Yes,” she said excitedly. “What about pictures?”
“What were you thinking?”
“Well, there is one painting downstairs that I would really like to have, and then I was thinking of pictures I’ve taken with my phone, framed like a collage,” she explained, holding up her hands to the walls. “Like all framed and hung properly but easy to get to so I can change them out whenever I want to.”
“That sounds like a great idea,” I said, picturing what she was talking about.
I stood back and watched as Kayla excitedly walked around the room, her imagination taking shape around her. She was really pretty good at this decorating stuff, and I was impressed that I didn’t have to talk her down from a pink tutu room. She was only seven, and I could tell she wanted to be older, but I could also tell that she wanted a space where she could read, write, draw, and all the things she was so passionate about, but had let go since her mother left. It made me feel optimistic thinking that this new space could inspire her to start moving forward instead of standing still like her and her father had been doing for months now.
It was the first time that Kayla had actually warmed up to me, and I really liked it. She had stayed at an arm’s length since I met her, keeping her guard up because I wasn’t her mother. I tried to understand how she must be feeling, and there were moments as a kid that I just wanted to be around my father, but she looked like her excitement and passion had opened up a small window of opportunity for her and me to begin building some sort of relationship. What that relationship was going to be, I didn’t know, but at that point, I would have taken any type of relationship with her.
I looked over at Ryan, who was leaned against the doorframe, smiling as he watched Kayla prance around the room. He looked really happy about how Kayla had opened up, and I was relieved that he was willing to let her have that furniture. It was important that she kept the good parts of her mother close to her. I knew that throwing them away with the rest wouldn’t solve anything for her. She continued on for another few minutes and then decided that she was going to get on her computer and plan it out on her new software system.
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said to her as she walked over to her bed. “You can show me your work up, and we can go online and start ordering everything for your new room. Does that sound good?”
“Yes,” she said excitedly.
I went to turn but stopped as Kayla jumped up off the bed and ran over to me, pausing for a moment before throwing her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. I ran my hand over her head and leaned down, hugging her back. The warmth in my chest was almost too much, and I had to hold back tears that were pulling at the corners of my eyes.
It wasn’t the fact that she was opening up to me. It was the fact that I was getting to see Kayla act like a normal seven-year-old for the first time ever. She seemed like she was carefree and worry-free for several moments, which was exactly what she should be. I was so glad that I could make this little girl smile in the midst of all the drama and heartache that she was going through. This job was personal to me, but it was also the best one that I had ever taken. I was changing people’s lives through my skill, and they were two people that I desperately cared about.
Kayla let go and ran over to her bed, pulling her laptop into her lap. I smiled and backed out of the room into the hallway, feeling like a million bucks. Ryan walked quietly ahead of me, and I followed him down into the kitchen. I stood there for a moment, watching him pace with a smile on his face. He must have been feeling the same exhilaration from Kayla’s response that I was. He walked over and wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tightly as I laid my head against his chest. He pulled away and stepped back, shaking his head and still smiling.
“That is insane,” he said in disbelief. “That is the happiest I have seen my daughter since before the divorce. I mean, I knew that this would help her, but I didn’t realize that it would jumpstart that beautiful little soul inside of her. She is truly happy about this whole thing. I can’t even begin to tell you how ecstatic I am to have brought you into our lives. You truly have made a huge difference.”
“Aww,” I said, moved by his words. “Kayla’s hug was all I needed to remind me how important all of this is to you and her. She has really made an impact on my life, and that hug was like the best thing that has ever happened between her and me. Maybe she will begin to be herself again, and maybe she and I could actually have a relationship. Thank you, Ryan.”
“Thank me? For what?”
“For bringing me into your lives.” I laughed.
“You seriously have the biggest heart ever.” He chuckled. “You are the one that is saving Kayla and me. We should be thanking you.”
“Well, let’s just say that maybe we are saving each other,” I replied, my cheeks blushing.
“I think you might be right,” he said, looking over at me.
If the hug didn’t do it, that sultry stare did. I was in way over my head, but I didn’t feel like I was drowning at all. In fact, I felt more comfortable at that moment than I had my entire life.
Chapter 11
Ryan
When I decided to redecorate, I was more than happy to volunteer my time, especially since it meant I would get to spend time with Alissa. One thing that I completely neglected to realize was the fact that in order to transform the house, I would first need to get all the old stuff out. Alissa showed up bright and early, right after the school bus had taken Kayla off to school. Kayla wanted to stay and help so badly, which made me feel better, considering she wasn’t taking the redecoration too hard. When Alissa arrived, she was carrying two cups of coffee and was more awake than I was on my best day. She came bopping through the kitchen, smiling at me as she laid out her plan of attack. I grumbled into my coffee with sleepy eyes and smiled as she looked up at me with her hands on her hips.
We spent the entire day moving everything out of the house for the truck to pick up. She had arranged for a custom shop to pick all of our old things up, minus the art, and have it put on consignment at their shop in the city. The art was actually quickly scooped up, and I mean quickly, as in hours after she left the day before, by a dealer out of Phoenix who was planning on holding a show with all the pieces. They purchased all of it outright so that we wouldn’t have to deal with the show and commissions. They were pretty positive they would sell every single piece almost instantly. I was just glad to get rid of it all, except the piece that Kayla wanted. When we were done moving everything out and stripping the curtains, she went to her car and brought in several boxes containing new curtains, shelves, and everything else I could imagine.
We decided to order all new cabinets for the kitchen because it was quicker and pretty close in price, so the guys were there to take measurements for that and the granite. It was pretty much a circus in the house, but I appreciated that she wanted to expedite the process so that we wouldn’t have to live in a construction zone for very long. She put me to work hanging shelves, and even though I was more than happy to oblige, I couldn’t seem to keep my concentration focused on the task at hand. Alissa looked fucking amazing, with a form-fitting tank top, short cutoff shorts, a sweater tied around her waist, and Chuck Taylor’s. Her body looked even sexier than I had
imagined before, and every time she walked past, I seemed to not be able to keep myself from falling into a lustful trance. I knew I needed to be a little more mannerly about the whole thing, but her curves were killing me, and I really wanted to take her right there on the ladder.
As she turned back around, I looked away, going back to focusing on the shelf I was screwing into the wall. I realized very quickly that I had screwed it in lopsided, and I shook my head, reversing the drill and pulling them back out. I could feel Alissa walking up behind me, and I could hear the light giggle coming from her throat.
“What happened?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” I chuckled. “I guess I got distracted.”
“Come on down,” she said, reaching her hand out. “Let’s eat some lunch, and then we can continue. We’ve been killing it this whole time.”
“Sounds good,” I said.
We went down, and Alissa fixed us a couple of sandwiches and some chips for lunch. We sat in the kitchen, staring around at the boxes of dishes and such that we had pulled from the cabinets. It was a bit of a mess, but I knew within a few days to a week, it would look so much better.
“So,” I said, looking over at her. “How did you get into interior design?”
“Well,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I thought, ever since I was Kayla’s age, that I wanted to be an architect, designing skyscrapers that reached the clouds. I really liked the design aspect of the whole thing. However, as I went deeper into those classes, I realized architecture isn’t as glamorous as they make it seem, and I started drifting toward interior design because I liked the artistic side of things. The part where you create the life of the building, not just the structure itself.”