Leah pressed a shaking hand over her mouth as the swill of nausea she’d felt minutes ago surged up her throat. “Oh God. Stop.”
Marcus didn’t seem to hear her. He made a sound that might have been a laugh if it wasn’t so choked with sorrow. “Battlefield surgery. Jesse’d done it before when Gabe was shot, and that turned out okay, but…not this time. He found the bleed, clamped it. Except there was another. And another. Eventually he stopped looking and shook his head. He told me later that Danny’s heart was pulverized. He was surprised it had continued beating for as long as it had.”
Leah couldn’t hear more. She thought she could do this. Thought she was strong enough now to hear the details, but she wasn’t. She knocked her mug off the railing as she spun away and fled down the stairs. The crack of the ceramic shattering sounded miles away.
Once she reached the pool and garden, she staggered to a halt. She didn’t know where to go. She was trapped inside this villa because someone wanted to hurt her. Just like how someone had hurt Danny. Pulverized his heart. The same heart she had listened to every night for thirteen years.
She jolted when Marcus touched her shoulder. She felt like she’d jump out of her skin if the wind blew in the wrong direction.
“I’m sorry,” Marcus said and turned her toward him, dragging her into his arms. He held her tight and pressed his face against the top of her head. “I shouldn’t have— I’m so sorry.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on until the tremors passed. He felt safe, and she savored it even though she knew it was a false safety. The crash of emotions she felt toward him were anything but safe.
He eased away and gazed down, worry creasing his forehead. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, but when she tried to speak no words came out. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I thought I was ready.”
He cradled her face in his hands, and she’d never seen his eyes so kind, so tender. “Danny’s last thought was for you and the kids. He loved you so much, Leah. That’s all you need to know about what happened that day. That’s all you need to hang on to. Let me carry the burden of remembering the hard parts, the ugly parts, for you.”
She brought her hands up to his wrists. “That’s not fair to you.”
“He’s dead and I’m alive. I’d say that’s plenty fair.”
She wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she stood up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Maybe it was the emotional upheaval of the last few minutes. Maybe it was the way he looked at her with such tenderness, like she was the most precious thing he’d ever held in his arms. Maybe it was because she’d been yearning for the kind of connection she once shared with Danny. She’d never felt alone when he was alive. Now it was nothing but lonely days followed by even lonelier nights.
It was selfish, but for a moment, she wanted to be selfish. Right now, she just wanted to feel something other than anger, hurt, fear, and sorrow.
Marcus’s muscles tensed as she slid her hands from his wrists to his shoulders. He wasn’t responding to her kiss. He just stood there, all statue-like. She drew away, heat flooding into her cheeks.
Dammit, that had been stupid. “I-I shouldn’t have—”
Marcus released a shuddering breath and grabbed her around the waist with his big hands, drawing her flush against his hard body as his mouth descended on hers. He wasn’t gentle, wasn’t asking. He was taking, devouring, and nerve endings she forgot she had sparked to pleasurable life. Every worry vaporized in the heat of his kiss. Every fear. Every horrible image filling her mind. Everything. He made it all disappear. She gripped his shoulders, clung to him, feeling anchored for the first time in a year.
But then he released her.
The action was so abrupt she wobbled and nearly fell over. No more anchor. He’d ripped it away and left her drifting again.
Marcus stared at her with hooded eyes, his chest heaving with ragged pants. Since he wore nothing but sweatpants, it was impossible to miss how the kiss had affected him. He was aroused. Very aroused. Her gaze skimmed down to the tent at the front of his pants, and she felt an answering clench of need deep in her belly.
Marcus casually covered his erection with one hand. “I, uh, have work to do before the team gets here.”
He spun away, poised to bolt like she was a dangerous creature he had to escape. She couldn’t let him. If she let him run now, he’d keep running. That was what he always did.
“Marcus, wait.” She caught his hand and he glanced over his shoulder at her. Their gazes clashed, held. In his dark eyes, she saw the heat of desire, but also the blaze of anger. Was he angry at her? Or himself?
She dropped his hand, letting him go. He didn’t move. Just stood there, half turned away, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
“It’s not right,” he finally said so softly she wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly.
“What?”
“It’s not right.” This time, there was no doubt in his voice. He waved a hand back and forth in the empty space between them. “This. You and me. Can’t happen.”
Everything in her chest tightened, twisted, and squeezed. She pressed a fist to her heart to make sure it was still beating, because it sure felt like there wasn’t enough room in there for it to properly do its job. She opened her mouth, but he didn’t give her the chance to formulate a reply.
“Can’t happen,” he said again and gave her his back. “Your phone’s ringing,” he tossed over his shoulder as he walked away. “If it’s Mom, be careful how much you tell her. Let’s keep the target on us, not her and the kids.”
He took the steps to the living room two at a time and snapped up his bag from the floor by the sofa. He shouldered it, grabbed his own phone and laptop, then took the long way around the pool to one of the guest rooms.
Avoidance. It was what he did best.
Oh, damn.
Leah reached for her phone and answered with a shaking hand. “Regina?”
“Hey, sweetheart. Is everything okay? You sound rattled.”
Rattled. Yep, that kiss had certainly rattled her. She’d only ever experienced sexual attraction like that with her husband, and feeling it now toward Marcus had knocked her off-kilter. She touched her lips, puffy and well-used and still tingling from his kiss. Heat prickled along her cheek where his beard stubble had scrubbed her skin.
“Leah?” Regina said, worry creeping into her voice.
She gave herself a mental shake and focused on the conversation. “Um, yeah. Everything is fine.”
“Did you find Marcus?”
“I did. He’s going to help me. He called in HORNET and they’re on their way to us.”
“Good.” Regina breathed a sigh of relief. “They’ll figure it out and keep you safe.”
Was it wrong that she very much doubted that?
“You should let me take the kids to their compound,” Regina added. “It’s the safest place for us.”
“No.” Everyone seemed to have so much trust in HORNET—Marcus, Regina, even Alexander Cabot had put his life in their hands—but she couldn’t bring herself to have faith in them.
They got Danny killed. Full stop.
If she’d had anyone else to turn to in this situation, she wouldn’t have contacted HORNET and she didn’t want her children anywhere near that team.
She had no doubt Regina knew what she was thinking and changed the subject before she received a lecture that she’d heard many times before. “How are the kids?”
“Oh, the boys think we’re on a great adventure.” Affection warmed Regina’s voice and lifted some of the weight from Leah’s shoulders.
“Sounds like them.”
“I forgot how entertaining little boys can be. Marcus was a handful, always trying to give me a heart attack, but we had so much fun together.” Some of that warmth faded, replaced with worr
y. “How is he?”
Once a mother, always a mother. Even when your son was an adult. Leah didn’t know whether to be amused or terrified by the prospect of spending the rest of her life worrying over her children.
She scanned the guest rooms out behind the pool. She hadn’t seen which one Marcus went into. “He’s…about like you’d expect.”
“Can I talk to him?”
God, the hopefulness in Regina’s voice was painful. She doubted Marcus would talk to his mother even if he was available. “He’s in the shower. I’ll have him call you when he gets out.”
Regina said nothing for a beat. Probably because they both knew he wouldn’t call.
“What about Maya?” Leah asked. “Is she okay?”
Regina sighed. “She’s withdrawn. She’s not… I can’t really get her to talk to me.”
Her baby. Her sweet, sensitive little girl. What damage was she doing to her child? She wanted to demand to speak to Maya, but that would only make things worse. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Tell her I love her. The boys, too. Tell them I’ll be home as soon as I can. I should probably go.”
“Leah,” Regina said before she could hang up. “Trust Marcus. He’ll protect you.”
“I do.” He was about the only man in the world she trusted right now. “It’s the rest of them I’m nervous about.”
“You shouldn’t be. They’re good men and women.”
Maybe, but her husband was still dead. She’d be damned before she buried her children, too. “Keep my babies safe. Please.”
“Like they’re my own.”
“They are,” Leah said softly. “You are more their grandmother than my mom is. If anything happens to me, will you take care of them?”
Regina made a muffled sound, something between a soft sob and a laugh. “Oh, amore. You know I will.”
“Thank you.” She spotted Marcus leaving one of the guest rooms, his hair curling in wet ringlets around his face. “I need to go now. I’ll call back when I can.”
“Have my son call me. Please.”
She drew a breath as he stalked toward her. His mood might as well have been a dark cloud trailing behind him. “I’ll try.”
Chapter Twelve
It was a kick in the gut seeing her, standing there by the pool, virtually where he’d left her. The morning sun sparked off her hair, shimmered through the long strands like gold. He wanted his hands in that soft hair, wanted to tug it until his mouth was fastened firmly back to hers.
Fuck.
He stopped walking. He’d taken a cold shower, but obviously that hadn’t helped. So much for telling himself that nothing had changed, that everything could go on like he hadn’t just kissed the hell out of his best friend’s widow.
But there she was, looking vulnerable and gorgeous, and he still wanted to run his hands and mouth all over her.
She hung up her cell phone and faced him. “That was your mom. She wants you to call.”
He made a noncommittal sound and continued past her, through the garden to the steps leading up to the living room. He loved his mom, but he couldn’t deal with her right now. Not while everything in the quiet world he’d constructed for himself was shattering to pieces around him. “The team will be here soon.”
She followed him. “And then what?”
“Then we figure out what the hell’s on that flash drive Cabot gave…” He trailed off as he topped the steps and spotted an old Indonesian man shuffling along the walkway between the front entrance and the living room. His wrinkled face contorted as he gasped for breath. He moved like he was in pain, one hand clutching his chest.
Marcus recognized him from the pictures Tuc had sent of the villa’s live-ins, but something wasn’t right. He held up an arm to block Leah from running to the man’s aid. “Bakti? What’s wrong?”
Bakti staggered precariously back and forth and nearly toppled into the koi pond before catching himself on his knees at the edge of the walkway. Blood dripped onto his weathered hand and spread into the water. He gazed up and whispered something in Indonesian. Only then did Marcus see the hole in the man’s chest.
Shit. They’d been found.
He spun Leah around and gave her a little push. “Hide.”
“W-what?”
He didn’t have time to answer or explain and dove for his weapon. He nailed the first guy through the door right between the eyes. Damn lucky shot, since he hadn’t been keeping up with target practice since leaving the States. He wasn’t so lucky with the next shot and the returning fire tore up the couch. He grabbed his bag from the floor and Leah by the arm, but when he took the first step, pain blazed through his leg and it went out from underneath him. One of the bullets had opened up a strip on his thigh. He gritted his teeth and tried to stand, but the damn leg wouldn’t bear any weight, and he ended up landing on his good knee. And that fucking hurt, too.
“Marcus—”
He dug in the side pocket of his bag for the flash drive. He held it out to her. “Run. Make sure the team gets this.”
She stared at him in horror. “No. No, no, no. I’m not leaving you.”
He tucked the drive into her palm and gave her a gentle push. “There’s a garage at the back of the property. Take one of the cars and—”
But it was too late. A flood of black-clad men banged through the front door, shouting orders in a mix of English and Russian. Leah gasped and let go of his hand. The flash drive dropped to the teak walkway and skidded over the edge.
“Fuck.” Marcus watched it sink into the koi pond as the men stormed the walkway. They kicked Bakti into the water and filled the living room. They hadn’t sent only a handful of men this time. They had come in force.
Marcus wasn’t a gambling man. The odds of making an escape and getting out alive had just dropped to sub-zero. He set down his weapon and shoved it across the floor toward the nearest man, then held his hands over his head. He nudged Leah with his elbow, silently urging her to do the same.
“I thought we were safe,” she whispered and raised her own hands. “I should’ve known better than to trust—”
She didn’t get a chance to finish the thought. One of the men stepped forward and cold-cocked her with the butt of his rifle. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t need to finish. He knew exactly what she was going to say. You.
That one unspoken word echoed through his mind as the butt of the rifle came down and shut his lights off.
I should’ve known better than to trust you.
Yeah, maybe she should’ve.
…
Nothing good ever came from a door hanging wide open.
It was a motto Ian lived by. Doors were meant to be closed and locked, especially doors on a safe house.
“Ah, shit,” someone muttered from the back of the SUV.
He didn’t turn to see who it was as he brought the vehicle to a halt in front of the villa. The heavy double doors stood wide open, and something that looked suspiciously like blood smeared the metal handle. In the passenger seat beside him, Tank vibrated with the need to bite someone. After an eighteen-hour flight, Ian was kinda feeling the same way.
He soothed a hand down the dog’s neck. “Not yet, buddy. Stay.”
He climbed out of the vehicle and took the rifle Seth passed to him.
“This is a fucking bad sign,” the sniper said.
“No shit,” Ian shot back and checked the rifle. They walked over to the second SUV, where Lanie and the others were gearing up.
“Where’s Tank?” Lanie asked.
He tilted his head toward the SUV.
“Get him. If there’s anyone left inside, I don’t want any squirters.” She leveled a cool stare at the rest of the team. “And if there are any bad guys inside, let’s keep at least one of them alive, yeah? I have questions.”
“Yeah, like how they fo
und this place,” Harvard said as he prepared one of his army of drones to take flight. “Tuc’s going to be pissed when he gets here.”
The men all nodded in agreement.
Lanie turned to her husband. “Jesse, if we have wounded inside, I know you’re gonna want to go straight to them, but let’s clear the area first.”
A muscle ticked in the cowboy’s jaw, and not for the first time, Ian wondered how difficult it was for him to take orders in the field from his wife. She was commander, he was medic. That was how the chain of command worked, but Ian wouldn’t do well with it in Jesse’s boots. Then again, he didn’t like taking orders from anyone, period. The only reason he listened to Lanie, and Gabe and Quinn before her, was because he respected the hell out of all three of them. Still, orders had a way of sticking in his craw, and the cowboy didn’t seem to be handling it well right now, either.
“If Marcus is injured—”
She cut Jesse off. “I know.” She reached out and gave his hand a quick squeeze. “But Marcus isn’t Danny. We’re not losing anyone today, and that includes you. We clear the area, then help the casualties.”
She shut the hatch on the SUV and expertly twisted her dark ringlets into a bun at the back of her head. Ian saw her as one of the guys and never noticed her femininity until she did something like that.
“All right,” she said and swung her rifle off her shoulder. “Let’s move. Seth, on me. Jesse and Jean-Luc have the middle. Ian, Harvard, and Tank have our six.” She engaged her comms with a tap on her earbud. “Sami, how are we looking?”
Back at base, Sami had control of the drone Harvard had released and was working her computer magic on the thing. “I see two bodies, one definitely civilian, male. Can’t identify the other.”
“Hostiles?”
“Negative.”
Lanie nodded to the group. “Let’s move in. Stay frosty, y’all.”
As the team moved into position, Ian walked over to the SUV and freed Tank. “We have work to do, pal.”
The dog’s tail wagged. He was always up for work. And play. And food. Basically, anything Ian wanted him to do, he happily obliged. Ian gave Tank’s one crooked ear a quick, affectionate rub before strapping him into his working harness. Who could’ve guessed an abandoned mutt from Afghanistan would turn into the best friend he ever had?
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