by Sherri Hayes
I followed Ross, allowing him to take the lead. Lunch was going to be uncomfortable at best. We didn’t get along, and I wasn’t sure we ever would. This was just for show, and we both knew it.
He turned the corner and slipped inside an upscale seafood restaurant. The place was filled with businessmen and women, all in suits. A few of them glanced up briefly at our entrance before going back to whatever they had been discussing prior to our arrival.
Ross gave his name, apparently having planned ahead and made a reservation. We were immediately taken to a table.
Taking a seat, I glanced around and realized instantly what he’d arranged. We were seated at a corner table by a large window. The placement of the table gave us some privacy, while the window allowed the photographers outside a clear and unobstructed view. It was the perfect photo opportunity. I had to hand it to him. He’d put a lot of thought into this.
Our server approached our table, and we both placed our orders. Once he was out of earshot, I planted a smile on my face and asked what I’d been dying to know since he’d walked into my office. “How is she?”
Ross dragged his gaze away from whatever he’d been looking at across the room. “She’s as well as can be expected under the circumstances.”
I nodded and let out a lungful of air. “Is she eating?”
He paused before answering. “Most of the time.”
The server came back with our drinks. I thanked him and returned my attention to Ross, ready to ask my next question. He beat me to it, though.
“I know you want to know about Anna. And since she knows I’m with you today, she’s probably going to have a million questions for me when I get home. The problem is I’m not sure how much I want to tell you. I don’t trust you. Not with her. But you already know that.”
“Yes. You’ve made that quite clear.”
He was getting agitated, but I saw him trying to school his features so that his irritation wouldn’t show to anyone observing our conversation. “You’ve made her dependent on you. I can’t support that.”
“Why are you here, then? Isn’t showing your support for me to the press contradictory?”
“No. As much as it pains me to say this, you don’t deserve to have your life ruined. You got her out, got her away from that . . . that . . . monstrous bastard. For that, I will play nice—at least as far as the public is concerned. You and I both know, and I want to be clear, I don’t approve of this . . . relationship—if that’s what you want to call it—you have with her. It’s messed up, and it’s not what she needs.”
Our food arrived, preventing me from responding. After thanking our server, I took a few minutes to consider my words carefully. “I suppose since we are being honest here—laying our cards on the table—I should reiterate that I couldn’t care less what you think of my relationship with Brianna. With that said, however, I also concede that at the moment you are able to give her something I can’t. But that doesn’t mean my feelings for her have lessened. And whether you believe it or not—whether you understand it or not—I do love her.”
“You love to hurt her, you mean.” Although his words were said pleasantly enough, there was no disguising the animosity behind them.
“I would never hurt her. Ever.”
He took a deep breath and smiled. “You’d better hope you can keep that promise, Coleman.”
Very little was said for the remainder of our meal. We fixed pleasant looks on our faces and pretended to be enjoying each other’s company. Although I wasn’t looking at it from the outside, I thought we were pretty convincing.
The server arrived with our checks, and I got an idea. “Would you come back up to my office with me?”
“I don’t do after-lunch rendezvous, Coleman.”
I snorted. “Not exactly what I had in mind, Ross, but thank you for the clarification. I’d like to write a letter for you to take to Brianna.”
“Why?”
“It’s been three months.”
For a moment, I thought he was going to refuse.
“Fine. I don’t like being your messenger boy, but maybe it will put a smile on Anna’s face.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m not doing it for you, Coleman.”
“I know. You’re doing it for Brianna. I’m still grateful.”
Ross stood, tossing his napkin and some money down on the table. I did the same. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
Chapter 8
Brianna
“What if they got into a fight? What if they hurt each other? It would be all my fault.” I knew my voice held a hint of hysteria, but I couldn’t help it.
Jade took hold of my hand and laced our fingers together. She’d skipped her classes today, knowing how nervous I’d be about Stephan and Cal’s meeting. “I’m sure it was fine. They’re both grown men. I’m positive they can control themselves.”
“Cal doesn’t like Stephan. He doesn’t understand.”
She continued to try and soothe me. “He made you a promise, Anna. He’ll keep it.”
I looked up at her and saw she earnestly believed what she was saying. In her view, the goal would outweigh any perceived obstacles. I only hoped she was right.
The afternoon dragged on as Jade tried to distract me. Cal had said he would be home early, but it was getting close to three and there’d been no sign of him. Jade had even tried to call his cell, but it went straight to his voice mail. With every passing minute, my anxiety increased. If Jade hadn’t been with me, I probably would have retreated into myself.
As it was, when we finally heard him arrive, I was shaking due to nerves. They were supposed to have met for lunch. No one had lunch this late, did they? Where had Cal been? What had he been doing? What had taken so long?
Jade held tight to my hand while we waited for Cal to make his way to my bedroom.
He caught sight of us on the bed and stopped. “Everything okay?”
“I don’t know.” Jade’s tone made Cal raise his eyebrows. She didn’t raise her voice, but it had that “I’m not happy” inflection I remembered my mom had used with my stepdad sometimes. “Is there a reason you didn’t come home right after your lunch or, at the very least, pick up your phone to let us know how everything went?”
“Oh.” For the first time in . . . well, ever . . . I saw Cal look somewhat guilty.
“Oh?”
“Sorry about that. I-I needed to clear my head and think about a few things.”
“And your phone?”
He sighed. “I turned it off. Like I said, I needed time to think, and I didn’t want the office calling me.”
Instead of responding to Cal, she rubbed my arm and spoke to me. “I don’t see any marks on him, do you?”
Cal stood at the end of my bed, and I took a long minute to look him over from head to foot.
“No.”
“What are you two talking about?”
“Anna was afraid you and Stephan would get into a fight. She’s been a nervous wreck all day.” The look Jade sent him gave me chills. “Which you would have known had you called.”
Cal stood motionless, staring at me, before pulling up a chair beside my bed. He reached out but didn’t touch me. “I’m sorry, Anna. I didn’t think, and I should have.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered. My reaction probably wasn’t normal. I didn’t want him to feel bad because I wasn’t strong enough to deal with things. It wasn’t his fault.
“No. It’s not. Jade’s right—I should have called.” He paused. “I have something for you.”
Cal reached into his back pocket and handed me what looked to be a folded piece of paper, careful not to let our fingers touch.
“What is it?”
When he remained silent, I looked up at him. “It’s a letter from Coleman. He asked me to give it to you.”
My eyes opened wide, and my hands began to tremble. Stephan had written me a letter?
I started to open it and then stopped, noticing
my audience.
“Let’s give her some privacy,” Jade said, standing. Cal was reluctant to go. Eventually Jade grew tired of his stalling and reached for his hand, dragging him with her out of the room.
Alone, I glanced back down at the letter. For a split second, fear raced through me. What if this was it? What if he’d finally realized I was too much to deal with? We’d been apart for three months—the same amount of time I’d lived with him. What if this time apart had convinced him—had shown him how much he’d given up for me?
I let the paper drop from my hands and watched as it landed on top of my thighs. As I continued to stare at it, the fear lessened and was replaced by a mixture of joy and sadness. What if he missed me even half as much as I missed him? It was difficult for me to accept, but I couldn’t deny how much I wanted it to be the truth.
Reaching out, I skimmed my fingers along the folded edges. I had to know. No matter what he said—even if it was that he didn’t feel for me as I did for him—I had to find out.
Before I could stop myself, I picked up the letter and opened it. Stephan’s handwriting filled the page, and as I began reading his words, my eyes filled with tears. I had to start over twice before I was able to get through it.
Brianna,
I hope this letter finds you well.
Ross came to see me today—he’s sitting on the couch in my office as I write this, bouncing his leg impatiently. I was surprised he agreed to deliver this letter to you, but grateful. He says you’re doing as well as can be expected. I’m not sure what to take from that, and he isn’t elaborating. I asked him if you were eating, and I wasn’t encouraged by his answer. You need to eat, Brianna. Do you understand?
He says you’ve made some sort of deal with him. This worries me. I don’t want you doing something you don’t want to do just to make things easier for me. I knew the risks, and I chose to take them. If I had to do it again, I would. You’re worth it. Remember that.
There is so much I want to say, yet I know I shouldn’t. Please take care of yourself.
Yours,
Stephan
Flipping over the letter, I hoped to find more of his writing on the back, but there was nothing. I wanted more. Then again, I wanted Stephan. I wasn’t picky about which parts. I’d take anything he was willing to give me.
I sat there clinging to Stephan’s letter. I had no concept of how much time had passed, but eventually I heard someone enter the room and felt the mattress give as the person sat down. No one spoke, so I knew it must be Jade. Cal would’ve said something after a few minutes. He hated prolonged silence.
Jade shifted, propping herself up against the headboard beside me. After a few minutes, I leaned my head against her shoulder. Her only response was to wrap her arm around my shoulders and hold me.
At some point in the middle of the night, I woke up alone. The letter was still in my grasp. Even in my sleep, I’d been unable to let it go.
Sitting up, I reached over and turned on the lamp beside my bed. Light illuminated the room, revealing a figure in the corner. Instinct kicked in, and I screamed.
Jade ran into the room seconds later. “Anna?”
She followed my horrified gaze to Cal, who was now standing frozen halfway between the corner chair and my bed.
“Cal, what are you doing in here sneaking about?” she asked as she gently made her way across the room to my side. Jade silently asked permission to touch me, and I nodded. It wasn’t the same as having Stephan comforting me, but I accepted it just the same.
“I didn’t think she’d turn on the light. I only wanted to make sure she didn’t have a nightmare like in the beginning.”
“Well, you nearly gave her—and me—a heart attack.”
Cal sighed. “I’m sorry, Anna. I’ll just . . . I’ll be right back.”
Once he left the room, Jade leaned back and searched my face. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. I know he means well, but . . .”
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t . . . I shouldn’t have reacted—”
“He was hiding in the corner of your room while you were asleep. You had every right to react the way you did. He’s lucky you didn’t throw something at his sorry ass.”
That made me giggle.
Jade smiled.
She brushed the hair away from my face. “He’s worried about you. I think he was hoping that Stephan’s letter would get a different response.”
We both looked up when Cal strolled back in the room with a glass of water. He handed it to Jade, who gave it to me. “I thought hearing from Coleman would make you happy. Instead, it’s caused you more pain. I shouldn’t have agreed to give it to you. I’m—”
“No!”
Both Cal and Jade jerked at my violent response. The water in my hand spilled onto the bed, as well as on Jade and me. Luckily Stephan’s letter was far enough away and was spared any damage from my outburst.
Without comment, Jade went to the bathroom and retrieved a towel to clean up the water. While she was dabbing at the wetness, Cal let out a frustrated groan and stomped over to the window. It was dark, so I doubted he could see much of anything, but he stared intently out into the night as if it held some vital answer.
Jade shook her head. “I think we’re going to need to change the sheets. This towel isn’t doing much, I’m afraid.”
I heard her, but I was focused on Cal. “If . . . if I give you a letter, will you give it to Stephan for me?”
Cal spun around, a look of bewilderment etched on his features. “What?”
Although I was trembling, I muttered the words again. “Will you give Stephan a letter for me?”
He took several steps forward and then stopped himself. “You can’t be serious.”
“Cal.” Jade’s tone had a note of warning in it.
Cal ignored her. “No. You can’t be serious, Anna. Here I was thinking getting a message from him would put a smile on your face. Instead, it made you cry. No. I won’t let you do that to yourself. I won’t.”
I opened my mouth to yell at him, but nothing came out.
My chest constricted, and it felt as if walls were closing in around me. Closing my eyes, I begged. “Please.” The word came out in a broken whisper.
When I opened my eyes again, Cal was kneeling on the floor next to my bed, looking up at me. He seemed to be in pain. “Don’t ask me to do this. I’d do anything for you, Anna, but don’t ask this of me.”
Trembling, I reached out and touched his face. It was the first time I’d willingly touched Cal since he’d come back into my life.
He closed his eyes. “If he hurts you . . .”
I slowly removed my hand and placed it back in my lap. “Thank you.”
Without a word, Cal stood and left the room. I heard cabinets open and close and then the sound of a bottle being opened. Cal had gotten into the liquor cabinet. I felt bad that I’d caused him so much grief—he didn’t deserve it, but I needed this.
“We should change the sheets before the water soaks in any more.”
Jade’s voice pulled my attention back to the woman now standing at the foot of my bed holding a fresh set of linens. I scurried off the bed, tucked Stephan’s letter in my pants pocket, and began removing the wet sheets.
On Friday afternoon, once again, Cal and Jade took me to see Dr. Perkins. Cal wasn’t really speaking to me. I knew he wasn’t happy about the note I’d written Stephan, but he’d taken it and begrudgingly promised to deliver it next week.
Unlike last week, when Dr. Perkins had opened her door inviting me into her office, Cal and Jade didn’t accompany me. This time I went in alone.
“How are you feeling today, Anna?”
I glanced around the office. Dr. Perkins had left the door ajar like last time, so I wouldn’t feel trapped. I appreciated that. “I’m okay.”
“I see your friends came with you again today.”
I nodded.
“Does it make you feel more comfortable knowing they’re
here with you?”
Glancing down, I picked at my jeans. I was torn. Cal and Jade said I needed to talk to someone. Stephan told me not to do anything I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to talk to Dr. Perkins, but after reading Stephan’s letter many times over the last two days, I’d realized that maybe, if I talked to her, she might be able to help me get better. That was her job, right? And if I could get better, then maybe I could be what Stephan needed me to be. It was a long shot, but I had to try, didn’t I?
“Cal isn’t talking to me.”
“Why isn’t he talking to you?”
I looked nervously around the room. This would be so much easier if Stephan was with me, but he wasn’t. I was on my own. “It’s complicated.”
Dr. Perkins jotted something down on the pad of paper she was holding and then redirected her attention to me. “Does this have anything to do with this Stephan?”
I nodded.
“I noticed tension between you and Cal last week when his name came up. Why don’t you tell me about Stephan?”
Without thinking about it, I drew my legs up, hugging them to my chest.
“Is there a reason you changed positions, Anna? Do you feel as if you have to protect yourself?”
I didn’t know how to answer her question. “Cal doesn’t like him.”
“Why doesn’t Cal like him?” She leaned forward slightly in her chair, waiting on my answer.
“He thinks . . .” I took a deep breath. “He thinks Stephan has made me too dependent on him.”
“And has he?”
I looked Dr. Perkins straight in the eye for the first time. It was a struggle to keep my voice from shaking. Everyone was against Stephan. I didn’t understand it. He didn’t deserve their ridicule. He’d done nothing to deserve it. “No.”
“I see.” She picked her pen back up and scribbled something in her notes.
Clenching my fists, I prepared for the battle I knew would come. I’d had it out several times with Cal in the last two days. He kept trying to get me to change my mind about responding to Stephan. I hated fighting with him—I hated fighting with anyone—but I wouldn’t let him say bad things about Stephan. I wouldn’t.