by Sherri Hayes
Positive I’d taken care of any stiffness she might have after being tied to the bed, I took my time washing her. Brianna sighed as I ran the loofah over her body. She even moaned a few times as I brushed it over her nipples. They remained extremely sensitive and probably would for the rest of the day. I was looking forward to that.
Eventually the water started to turn cold, and we had to get out. Once we were both dried off, I wrapped her in a robe and threw on a pair of boxers before leading her into the kitchen. It was almost four, and neither one of us had eaten anything since breakfast.
Brianna and I spent the next hour curled up in the living room eating leftovers. The last thing I’d wanted to do was waste time cooking.
I broke off a piece of cookie and fed it to her. “Brianna, we need to talk about this afternoon. Are you up for that?”
She swallowed and nodded.
“What did you think of being tied up?”
Brianna rested her head on my shoulder. “It wasn’t what I expected. I thought . . . I thought I’d feel trapped.”
“But you didn’t?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I felt . . . safe. Like I do when you hold my wrists down.”
I brushed my lips against her forehead. “I’m glad you felt safe. I always want you to feel safe with me, Brianna.”
She ran her nose up the side of my neck, and a shiver ran down my spine. Brianna had no idea the power she held over me sexually. When she figured it out, I would be in trouble.
Taking a deep breath, I continued. “What about the fur glove?”
I felt her lips curve up into a smile. “I liked the glove.”
“How about the nipple clamps?”
Brianna didn’t answer me right away, but I waited, giving her time to gather her thoughts. “They hurt, but . . . but they felt good, too?”
It wasn’t all that surprising that she was confused. Given her view of pain, it was going to take a while for her to reconcile the difference between good pain and bad pain in her mind. “Do you remember how we talked about how you like it when I pull your hair?”
She nodded.
“It’s the same thing, sweetheart, and it’s okay that you enjoy it. What we do together is completely different than what was done to you before.”
Brianna placed her hand over my heart and then lowered it to begin rubbing her fingers over my nipple. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. We needed to get through this conversation, but if she kept that up, I’d be cutting it short.
Reaching for her hand, I lifted it to my lips and kissed the inside of her palm before placing it safely back in her lap. “Do you see the difference, Brianna?”
“I don’t know.”
“What’s confusing you?”
She began to raise her hand again, but this time I caught it and laced our fingers together. “You had me tied up. I couldn’t . . . I couldn’t stop you.”
“Yes, you could have. You could have said your safeword, and I would have stopped. You know that, or else you would have panicked.”
“I know it’s different, but I don’t understand. I don’t.” I felt the moisture against my shoulder before I heard the first sob leave her throat. Brianna had come so far, but she was still struggling. I knew she would for a while.
Setting the rest of our food down on the coffee table, I reached for a throw blanket and wrapped it around the two of us. Holding her close, I let her get it out of her system. I suspected some of her emotional state was an aftereffect of subspace, but I knew that was only part of it.
The sun had long set before I took her back into the bedroom. Brianna had stopped crying, but she refused to let me go very far. We took turns in the bathroom, but I saw her struggle with whether or not to allow me to leave her sight. She still had reactions to hearing me urinate even after all this time, so she ended up sitting on the edge of my bed waiting for me. I could see the relief in her eyes when I reemerged and joined her. I took her by the hand, and led her over to the side of the bed. It was early, but I could think of no better way to spend the rest of our evening together. I gathered her into my arms, and she curled up against my chest.
“I don’t like being scared,” she whispered.
I rubbed a hand up and down her arm and rested my chin against the top of her head. “I know you don’t.”
She was quiet for a long time. “I hate him.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Who do you hate?”
“Ian.” Her voice as she said his name was soft, yet hard. I heard both her fear and her resolve.
What could I say to that? I hated the man, too. Him and every other man who’d hurt her—used her. If I had my way, I’d castrate every last one of them.
“My mom said I shouldn’t hate anyone, but I hate him.”
I ran my fingers through her hair, hoping to relax the tension I felt building in her body. “I think in this instance, it’s perfectly okay for you to hate him. I think your mom would understand.”
Brianna slid her hand up my chest until it was around my neck. She buried her head in the hollow above my shoulder, and I felt her shudder.
She cried for over an hour before falling into a fitful sleep. It hadn’t been the Christmas evening I’d pictured, but it was what she needed. The trial was less than two months away. She was going to have to stand up and testify against the man who had done things to her no human being should ever be subjected to. Brianna had every right to hate Ian Pierce. I was sure there was a very special place for men like him in hell.
Brianna
Stephan surprised me the next morning by announcing he wouldn’t be working for the rest of the week. The foundation closed between Christmas and New Year’s, and the conference call on Christmas Eve was the last obligation he had until after the New Year. I was beyond excited.
We ended up spending most of the week at a cabin about three hours outside the city. Stephan said he wanted to get away from everything for a while, that we needed the alone time. I completely agreed with him. It seemed as if so many things were bombarding us lately, between his work, the reporters who always tried to follow his car, to the upcoming trial . . . even my therapy with Dr. Perkins. All of it cut into our time together. It was nice to leave it all behind—even if it was only for a week.
On New Year’s Eve, Stephan turned on the small television in the cabin, and we curled up on the couch to watch the ball drop in New York City. It was the start of a new year. For many, it marked a new chapter in their lives. My new chapter, however, had begun eight months before, when I’d been summoned to Ian’s study.
I was in my room, or what passed as my room, when Alex came to get me. The sound of the lock turning made my blood run cold. “Master wants to see you, slave.”
Alex released the cuff from around my ankle, led me down the long hallway, and we descended the single flight of stairs. When we reached the main floor, I heard voices coming from Ian’s study. I braced myself. I knew what was coming next. Ian had a friend over. The only reason he would be calling for me would be to service his friend. He didn’t share Alex often. Alex was his. I was his, too, but only in that I belonged to him . . . that I was his property. Alex was shown affection. I was not.
Knowing from experience that it was best to comply with whatever was about to happen, I obediently entered the room with my head down. I listened to the men talk, and then the stranger took hold of my chin and brought my head up. Averting my eyes, I made sure not to look directly at him. I’d made that mistake before.
The man’s hands were hard and commanding. I held my breath waiting to see what he would do to me next.
Who would have known that less than an hour later, my life would change forever.
“Are you all right, sweetheart?”
I twisted my head so I could see him. Smiling, I ran my hand over the side of his face. All mine. “Happy New Year.”
He smiled and kissed me. “Happy New Year.”
Stephan kissed me again, and it wasn’t long aft
er that our clothes were discarded and flung into a pile on the floor. The television played on in the background, but we didn’t pay much attention to it. All thought of anything happening outside our tiny space ceased to exist. The only thing that mattered was him pressing me down into the couch as he took me. This was how sex was supposed to be.
Sadly, we had to drive back into the city on New Year’s Day. Stephan had to return to work the next day. Life outside the two of us went on, and we couldn’t hide from it any longer.
As things returned to normal in our schedules, I began thinking more about John. I hadn’t forgotten my father’s request. Questions as to why continued to plague me—so much so that I decided to bring it up in my next session with Dr. Perkins. “I think I might want to go see John.”
“Your father?”
“Yes.”
Dr. Perkins nodded and wrote something down on her pad. “Why do you ‘think’ you ‘might’ want to go see him?”
“He wants to see me.” I paused. “And I’m curious.”
“Completely understandable. He’s your only living relative, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“Only you know what’s best for you. Don’t feel like you have any obligation to him or anyone else. You said you ‘might’ want to go see him. What’s stopping you?”
“Stephan doesn’t want me to. And I don’t know if I should. The last time I saw him, he tried to kidnap me.”
“Is Stephan preventing you from going?”
I looked up at her, confused. “No. He told me he didn’t want me to go, but that if I did, I should go because I wanted to, not because it was something John wanted.”
“And do you want to?”
“I don’t know what he wants from me.”
Dr. Perkins sat forward. “That doesn’t answer my question, Anna. What do you want? Only you can answer that. Seeing him might give you some closure, though.”
“I don’t understand.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What don’t you understand?”
“Why? Why did he do it? Why didn’t he look for me? How could he just leave me there?”
Tears fell freely down my cheeks. Dr. Perkins handed me a tissue and waited until I was no longer sobbing. “I can’t answer that for you, Anna. I’m sorry. And if you decide to meet with him, you need to accept the possibility that he might not be able to either.”
I nodded and glanced down at the damp tissue I held between my fingers. There was only one person who might be able to answer my questions. I knew that. Even then, the thought of seeing my father again filled me with dread and panic. Still, I knew what I had to do.
When Cal pulled into one of the guest spots in the parking garage at Stephan’s building, he turned off the car and started to get out until he realized I hadn’t moved.
“Is something wrong, Anna?” Cal’s voice startled me, and I turned to look at him.
“No.” I paused and looked down at my hands. “I . . . I wanted to ask you for a favor.”
“Anything. You know that.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to find the words to ask him what I needed.
“Anna?” Apparently I’d been quiet for too long. Jade looked worried, too.
“Will you . . .” I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and spat it out. “John wants to see me. Will you take me to see him?”
Silence met my request, and I opened my eyes to find both Cal and Jade staring back at me. Cal had a blank look on his face. “You want me to . . . to take you to the prison to see your dad?”
I nodded.
“Why?”
“He’s asked to see me, and . . .” It was difficult to put into words all the whys. “I want to hear what he has to say. I want to know why he did it. How he could.”
Cal sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Wouldn’t you rather have Coleman take you?”
I shook my head. “He doesn’t want me to go.”
He snorted. “I can’t say I’m thrilled with the idea myself.”
“So you won’t take me?”
“I didn’t say that.” Cal let his head fall back against the headrest and gave me a sideways glance. “When did you want to go?”
Suddenly I felt nauseous. This was really going to happen. “I have to call Emma. She . . . she has to arrange it.”
He nodded. “Just let me know when. I’ll rearrange my schedule to take you.”
I think I nodded, but I wasn’t sure. My nerves were getting the better of me.
Cal must have realized I wasn’t completely myself. He and Jade rode up with me in the elevator as they always did, but they didn’t leave right away. I took the opportunity to call Emma. It was something to do. Also, I was afraid that if I waited, I would chicken out.
Emma promised to look into it, but she also reminded me that I still had a restraining order against my father. She doubted the prison would allow a meeting because of that, and if they did, it would take probably take months at best to make it happen.
I told her I understood, and she agreed to call me back as soon as possible. That turned out to be fifteen minutes later. The meeting was set up for next Wednesday at two in the afternoon. It wasn’t going to be at the prison, though—Emma had been right about the restraining order and their not allowing me to visit because of it. Instead, Emma had contacted Agent Marco, and the meeting was going to occur in his office. John would be brought to Agent Marco and custody transferred to him temporarily.
Emma confirmed that John would be restrained, and she, Agent Marco, and anyone else I wanted would be present. She didn’t want me to be alone with John. No one did. I thanked her and hung up the phone before relaying the information to Cal and Jade.
Jade walked over and hugged me. “It will be okay. I can come, too, if you want.”
“You have class.”
“I can skip it.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t want her there, but I needed to do this on my own. Cal would be there with me, yes, but while he would protect me if need be, I wouldn’t lean on him like I would Jade. That was the same reason I hadn’t asked Stephan to take me.
Stephan. I’d have to tell him, and I knew he wouldn’t be happy about it. He didn’t want me to go, but I had to. For some reason . . . I had to.
Chapter 43
Brianna
As expected, Stephan wasn’t happy that I’d decided to go see John. We were sitting in his chair on Friday night when I told him. He got really quiet for a long time before murmuring a barely audible “okay.”
It wasn’t until the next day that he asked me when I would be going. He was going to make arrangements to take the day off so he could take me, but I explained that Cal had agreed to do it. Stephan didn’t like that either. “I would rather take you myself, Brianna.”
“Cal will keep me safe.”
He twisted his mouth in distaste. “I’m sure he will, but that’s not the point. Keeping you safe is my responsibility.”
We were lying in bed, enjoying a relaxing Saturday morning. His arm was around me, holding me securely to his side. I tucked my head into his neck and tried to explain. “I’m afraid . . .”
Stephan looked down at me, lifting my chin and making me meet his gaze. “What are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid if you go with me that . . . that I’ll lean on you too much. That I won’t go through with it.”
He frowned. “You don’t have to go through with it. He deserves nothing from you.”
“I know.”
Sighing, he cradled my head back against his chest. “I want you to call me as soon as you leave Agent Marco’s office, and you are to come straight home once you’re finished.”
“Okay.”
“And you are to do exactly what Agent Marco and Emma instruct you to do.”
I nodded. “I will. I promise.”
Stephan combed his fingers through my hair. “I don’t want you touching him, Brianna. Not for any reason. I don’t trust him.”<
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A shiver ran through me. “I won’t, Sir.”
He took a deep breath and hugged me tight before kissing the top of my head. “I’m going to worry every minute you’re there.”
That was the last thing I wanted. I kissed his chest. His neck. Anywhere I could reach. “Tell me not to go, Sir, and I won’t.”
Before I knew what was happening, I was lying flat on my back with him poised over me. He looked down at me with a level of intensity in his eyes that had nothing to do with sexual desire even though I could feel his growing erection straining against my thigh. With one hand along the side of my head, gripping possessively, he brought our foreheads together. “As much as I want to do just that, I won’t. I won’t take that decision from you, Brianna. I won’t be like him.”
“You’re not.” Stephan was nothing like John or Ian. He always put me first. Always.
He skimmed his hand down my face to my neck until he reached my collar. A deep rumble erupted from his chest, and his mouth descended. He pressed his lips almost brutally against mine. I’d been kissed like this before, but not by Stephan. Memories began floating in my head, and I had to force my eyes open. Even then, the panic seemed to be rising faster than I could quell it.
Stephan must have sense my unease, because he pulled away, breathing hard. “I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry. It’s just . . .”
He shook his head and rolled over on to his back, taking me with him. I took deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart.
“I scared you.”
I shook my head.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. I let my emotions get the best of me.”
We spent the rest of the day lounging around the condo holding each other and talking about everything except John and my upcoming trip to see him. That night we had sex, but it was a complete departure from the aggressive kiss that morning. He kissed every inch of my skin before entering me, chanting over and over again that he loved me.