by Marie Force
“I hate that I wasn’t there for you the way I should’ve been after you lost Sam. When you came to my house after his funeral, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was to have missed it. I should’ve been right by your side through the whole thing, and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”
He brought her hand to his lips. “We need to be looking forward not backward.”
“Yes.” Her heart ached when she thought of the question she needed to ask him. It had been on her mind all night during the wakeful periods.
“What’s wrong? Something just upset you.”
She smiled despite the overwhelming sadness. “I should be freaked out by the way you read me so easily. I’d forgotten about that.”
“What’s going on inside that head of yours?”
She studied his handsome face for a long moment, wanting to memorize every detail. “Do you think it’s possible that too much has happened to us? That we’re deluding ourselves by thinking we can ride off into the sunset toward happily ever after? Maybe we just weren’t meant to be, Bri.”
His eyes flashed with emotion. “Do you really believe that?”
“I don’t know what I believe anymore.”
“Do you believe I love you?”
“Yes,” she said softly. “I do. I believe that.”
“And since I have no doubt that you love me, too, can you think of anyone who deserves happily ever after more than we do?”
She thought about that for a moment. “I can’t say I do.”
“Good.” He leaned over to kiss her. “Then no more talk about not meant to be or any other such foolishness, okay?”
“All right,” she said, but she still wasn’t sure. He was saying all the right things, but the conviction he’d once had was gone. She hoped it would be back in time for their wedding.
“I’m going to go talk to my parents about Zoë.”
“I want to come with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yes, Brian. Yes, I do.” She got out of bed and reached for her robe. “Give me twenty minutes.”
After a quick breakfast at Miss Molly’s, they walked through town to Tucker Road with a police officer following them. They stopped for a few minutes at the accident site where Carly pulled weeds and pinched off some dead blooms from the bank of wildflowers.
“I don’t even know what he does for a living,” Brian said absently as he watched her fuss with the flowers.
Still in a crouch, Carly turned and looked up at him. His hands were in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the white cross bearing Sam’s name. “Who?”
“Tom.”
“He’s a vice president at a pharmaceutical company. He oversees their New England sales force.”
“Sounds like a good job.”
“It is. He does well. And it’s flexible, so he can go to all the kids’ games and stuff. That’s important to him.”
“So then Cate doesn’t work?”
“She keeps threatening to go back now that Lilly’s in first grade, but she’s up to her eyeballs in all the kids’ activities. I don’t know where she’d find the time for a job.”
“They sound like good parents.”
“They are.”
His eyes shifted from the cross to her. “That’s what I’d want for our kids—a full-time mom and a dad who doesn’t miss much. Would you want that, too?”
“Yes.”
“You wouldn’t want to work?”
“Not if we could afford for me to stay home.”
“We could.” He rattled off the salary the attorney general had offered.
Her eyes widened. “For real?”
He nodded. “Do you think you might be pregnant? Can you tell yet?”
“Not yet. But I can take a test in a week or two.”
“I hope you are. I want you to have a baby you can keep.”
Carly stood and put her arms around him. “I want that for both of us.”
He held her close for a few minutes before he kissed her and said, “Let’s get this over with.”
Carly went up the short flight of stairs that led to the Westbury’s living room. Brian hung back for a moment to talk to his father, who had come home from the station when Brian called and asked him to.
“Did you talk to her about Luke?” Michael asked.
“Shit, I never thought of it.”
Michael stared at his son, astounded. “What the hell could be so important you’d forget about that?”
“Come on up, and I’ll tell you.”
They went up the stairs to the living room.
“Is everything all right?” Michael asked.
“Sit down, Dad.”
“You’re making me nervous, Brian,” Mary Ann said. “What’s going on?”
Brian and Carly exchanged glances.
With a deep breath for courage, he said, “I found out yesterday that Carly was pregnant when I left for college.”
“What?” Mary Ann gasped.
Brian told them the whole story, an abbreviated version that hit on all the important details. He held back the part about Zoë’s being born on Sam’s birthday, fearing that might be one detail too many at first.
When he finished, his mother’s face was frozen with shock. “You mean to tell me all these years I’ve had a granddaughter living less than two miles from me?”
“Mary Ann—”
She held up a hand to stop Carly. “Please. Don’t.”
“I know this is terribly shocking, Mom. It was for me, too. But after hearing Carly’s side of it, I can see how she did what she thought was best for me and for Zoë.”
“Zoë Murphy is my granddaughter,” Michael said, more to himself than anyone else.
“Yes,” Brian said. “And after talking to Carly, Cate, and Tom, they’ve convinced me that telling Zoë the truth now would not be in her best interest.”
“What about your best interest?” Mary Ann’s eyes were hot with anger. “What about ours?”
“It was important to me that you and Dad know the truth, but I assured them you wouldn’t do anything to upset her life. It’s too late for us with her, Mom. There’ll be other grandchildren. We hope soon.”
“When Brian and I get married, the two of you will become part of my family—if you want to, that is,” Carly said. “There’ll be holidays, birthdays, graduations. You’ll have the opportunity to get to know Zoë.”
Mary Ann glanced at Carly with hard eyes. “And that’s supposed to be enough?”
“Don’t you remember how awful everything was then, Mom?” Brian asked with a pleading edge to his voice.
“Do you think I need to be reminded of that?” Mary Ann snapped. “I live with it every minute of my life.”
“Then maybe you can try to understand the situation Carly was in after I told her I was leaving and not coming back. She couldn’t talk. She couldn’t leave the house. What was she supposed to do?”
“I would’ve raised her!” Tears spilled down Mary Ann’s face. “I would’ve done it without a second thought!”
Brian looked over at Carly and saw that she too was crying.
“I’m sorry,” Carly whispered. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to upset Brian’s life and his plans. I wanted him to get past what’d happened. I was thinking of him.”
“You were thinking of yourself,” Mary Ann said.
Carly shook her head to say no.
“Mary Ann…” Michael got up to sit next to her. When he tried to slip an arm around her she shook him off.
“You know Carly, Mom. Can you even begin to imagine what it cost her to give up her baby after she’d lost me and every friend she had in the world? Can you try to image that?”
Carly sent him a look that told him she appreciated him defending her.
Mary Ann swiped impatiently at her tears. “How can you stand having a daughter who’ll never know you’re her father? How can you stand that, Brian?”
“I can do it because it’s what Carly aske
d me to do. She knows Zoë, and she convinced me this is what’s best for her. She’ll be my niece. That’ll have to suffice.”
“And we’re expected to just fall in line and keep quiet about it?”
“I didn’t have to tell you,” Brian reminded her. “I assured Carly, Cate, and Tom that you and Dad would do whatever I asked you to. And what I’m asking you to do is what’s best for a girl who came into this world under less than ideal circumstances and who’s flourishing despite it.”
“How did you find out about her?” Michael asked.
“I took one look at Zoë, and I knew.” He added in a whisper, “I just knew.”
“So you weren’t going to tell him?” Mary Ann asked, her tone accusatory.
“No, I wasn’t,” Carly said.
Exhaling a snort of disbelief, Mary Ann sat back against the sofa to study her son. “How can you go forward with this marriage, knowing she would keep such a thing from you?”
“How can you ask me that after what we’ve been through? She did what she thought was best for me. She gave up her baby so I could get through college and law school. If that doesn’t tell me how much she loves me, what the hell ever could?”
“Brian,” Carly said, reaching for him.
He squeezed her hand, stood, and ran a hand through his hair as he fought to calm down. “I’m sorry, Mom. I just can’t bear the idea of you holding this against Carly like she set out to maliciously deny you your granddaughter.”
“He’s right, Mary Ann,” Michael said. “Those were dark days for all of us. It wouldn’t be fair to judge Carly on decisions she made at that time in her life.”
“Thank you,” Carly said to Michael.
“I’m sorry I can’t forgive and forget so easily,” Mary Ann said. “I understand it must’ve been a terrible time for you, Carly. As a mother, I get that. But how you could just leave us out of the whole thing … I’m sorry. That part I can’t forgive.”
“I hope in time you’ll be able to forgive me,” Carly said. “I’ve always loved you very much, and I’ve been so looking forward to being your daughter-in-law.”
“Now don’t you do that.” Mary Ann wiped furiously at tears. “That’s not fair.”
Carly moved to squat down in front of Mary Ann. “I thought of you. I did. How could I not think of you? And I knew what it would’ve meant to you to have Zoë in your life, especially at that time. But I put what I thought was best for Brian ahead of what was best for you. I hope you can forgive me for that.”
Mary Ann didn’t resist when Carly hugged her. “Again, that’s not fair.” She sniffled.
“There’s something else,” Carly said.
“Carly.” Brian’s tone was full of warning. “This might not be the time.”
“For what?” Mary Ann asked.
Carly clutched the other woman’s hands when she said, “Zoë was born on Sam’s birthday.”
Brian’s parents gasped.
Mary Ann whimpered. “Oh, Michael, did you hear that?”
As he dealt with a torrent of tears, Michael said, “I did. Yes, I did.”
“That sure is something, isn’t it?” Brian asked, sharing an intense moment of wonder with his parents.
“It surely is,” Michael agreed.
“He was with me,” Carly said. “I felt him all around me that day.”
Mary Ann suddenly stood. “I’m sorry. I just need … I’m sorry.” She left the room.
Michael got up to go after her. “She’ll need some time, but she’ll get past this.” He bent to press a kiss to Carly’s forehead. “She loves you, too. So don’t you worry.” On his way out of the room, he said to Brian, “Talk to her about Luke.”
Startled, Carly looked at Brian. “Luke? Luke McInnis? What about him?”
Brian urged her to her feet and put his arms around her. “Later, honey. We’ll talk about that later. Are you all right?”
Carly shrugged. “I feel beat up.”
“I know. I do, too.”
“Thank you.”
His eyebrows knitted with confusion. “For what?”
“The way you defended me. Earlier I was wondering if you’d ever be able to truly forgive me for this, but it seems like maybe you already have.”
“I’m still getting used to the whole thing, but I do forgive you, Carly. I just hope my mother can, too.”
“Will you be able to live with it if she can’t?”
“If you can, I can.”
“I should’ve told you.” She shook her head with regret. “My mother wanted me to. She warned me that someday you might find out, and I’d have to face the music.”
“You did the right thing. I would’ve come home and married you. We probably would’ve made a terrible mess of things between us and with Zoë. It was better this way. Maybe not for the rest of us, but definitely for her.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that. I knew you would’ve come home. I knew that for sure, Brian. But I also remembered what you said before you left about getting married and having to live in my parents’ house because I couldn’t leave there. As I thought about whether or not I should tell you, I just kept wondering how I could condemn you to that.”
“It overwhelms me to know you put me first, even after I walked away from you.”
“You didn’t do it because you’d stopped loving me,” she reminded him.
“I never stopped loving you.” He tipped up her chin so he could see her face. “You believe me, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.”
He kissed her forehead. “What you said, about my parents being part of your family and getting to know Zoë? That was good. I think it’ll help my mom to cope with this.”
“I hope so.”
He took a deep breath to clear his mind and refocus. “Do you think your mother would give us a ride to one of the car dealers on the south side?” he asked.
“I’m sure she would. You want to do that now? Today?”
“I’m getting tired of walking everywhere, and I was thinking I’d like to take my fiancée and my … niece out to Cape Cod for a couple of days. What do you say?”
For the first time since the day before, Carly smiled, a genuine smile that made it all the way to her expressive eyes. “Your fiancée and your niece would love that.”
Chapter 24
For the second time in his life, Brian Westbury had fallen flat-on-his-face in love.
Zoë hadn’t taken a breath in over an hour, chatting with excitement about Carly and Brian’s new midnight blue SUV, about the slumber party she had been to with her friends, and about the unexpected trip with her aunt and newfound uncle.
“I can call you Uncle Brian, right?”
As he looked at Zoë in the rearview mirror and fought through a storm of emotions, Carly reached for his hand. “I’d like that.” He was still getting used to how much she resembled Carly and had to remember not to stare.
“That was fun yesterday, wasn’t it, Auntie Carly? Wait ’til you see the dress she bought for the wedding—”
“Ah!” Carly cried, putting up a hand to stop her. “Don’t tell him anything about it.”
“Duh. I know that. What do you think I am? A kid? Jeez. Can I plug my iPod into the stereo?”
Brian reached back for it. “Sure.”
“Be prepared,” Carly said, amused. “She has eclectic taste in music.”
“That’s all right.” Whatever she wants, Brian wanted to add but didn’t. He cringed when rap music filled the small space.
Carly chuckled. “Told you.”
Brian turned it down. “Did you find a dress, too, Zoë?”
“Uh huh.” She made a face that he caught in the mirror. “It’s this frilly purple thing.”
“Lilac,” Carly corrected her. “And it’s lovely on you. We found smaller versions for Lilly and Julia.”
“I’m the maid of honor. Did Auntie Carly tell you?”
“I’ve heard that rumor.” Brian tried not to dwell on how surre
al it would be to have their daughter serve as a witness to their wedding. She’s not your daughter. She’s your niece. Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you’ll believe it.
“Does that mean I have to dance with your father?” Zoë snorted. “Me and the chief of police. How funny is that? My friends are going to freak.”
Brian glanced over to find Carly looking stricken. Clearly she hadn’t considered that pairing. “I’m sure he’ll love having such a pretty girl to dance with,” Brian said.
“How cool is it to be riding in a car again, Auntie Carly?”
Zoë shifted gears so fast Brian struggled to keep up—and to hear her over the horrible music.
“I’m getting used to it,” Carly said. “I like being able to get out of Granville once in a while.”
“I can’t imagine not leaving that boring-ass town for fifteen years.”
“Zoë. ” Carly frowned at her niece’s language.
“Someday that boring town might look pretty darned good to you,” Brian said, speaking with some authority on the subject.
Zoë shrugged. “I doubt it. I can’t wait to get out of there.”
“And go where?” Brian asked.
“I don’t know. Anywhere.” Shifting gears yet again, she said, “So you’re a lawyer?”
“That’s right.”
“I wouldn’t mind being a lawyer.”
Brian had to remind himself to take the next breath. “Is that so?”
“Uh huh. My mom says I’d be a good one, cuz all I do is argue.”
Brian and Carly laughed, and he could honestly say he had never been happier in his life than he was in that moment. It had been a long time coming.
Michael waited until Matt Collins, Nate Barclay, and the other FBI agent, Jeff DiNardo, had taken seats in the conference room. He had spent so much time with Nate and Jeff in the last month that he’d almost forgotten they were feds. He had called this meeting on a Sunday afternoon after finally getting the chance to talk to Carly about Luke the night before.