He cleared his throat and leaned a little closer. "If it's stressing you out too much, we can change the subject. What do you want to talk about?"
My pulse picked up speed. "I don't know." I looked down at my food, but I'd lost whatever appetite had remained.
What was wrong with me?
Something inside me nudged me to tell him.
Now I was hearing voices, to top everything off. Tears misted my eyes. I tried blinking them away.
"Victoria?"
I glanced up at him. A single teardrop clung to an eyelash.
His mouth dropped. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, fine." I wiped my eye, brushing away the tear. "Everything's great."
Toby frowned and put his hand on top of mine. His skin was so soft… his touch, so familiar.
The voice inside of me screamed to tell him everything.
I swallowed, ready to burst into tears. I couldn't lose it in the middle of the bustling campus. In a matter of minutes, people would pour out from the cafeteria and the surrounding buildings. But somehow, crying in front of the man in front of me seemed infinitely worse.
He removed his hand from mine and cleared his throat. "Just know that if you need to talk about anything, I'm here. Not just as a math instructor or faculty adviser." He pulled out a business card. "This is my personal cell phone number. Call anytime you need something, okay?"
I nodded and stuck the card in my bag. The voice inside urged me to talk about what was going on. I rose and picked up my tray. "Thanks, Toby. The—" I froze, realizing I'd just called him by his first name.
Our gazes locked. His eyes widened and his pupils dilated. Something else registered on his face. Surprise? Hope? It was hard to tell, though it had to be shock. He'd never told our class his first name.
"I-I'm sorry," I stammered. "I don't know where that came from, Professor Foley. I meant no disrespect. I'm sorry."
I grabbed my tray and ran into the cafeteria.
Chapter 16
Victoria
I slumped into the seat and closed my eyes. Around me, everyone discussed how mean Massaro was for making us write the papers at exactly three thousand words. At least I wasn't the only one annoyed, but at this point, it was the least of my concerns.
Someone sat next to me.
"Are you okay?" Carter asked.
"Yeah." I didn't open my eyes.
"You emailed in your paper, right?" he asked.
"This morning, before my first class."
"What's the matter, then?"
"I'm just tired."
He patted my hand—the same one Toby had touched.
My eyes flew open, and I gasped for air.
Carter studied me. "Maybe I should tell Yurika you need to work a little earlier."
I shrugged. "I don't want to be a pain. I'll work around her schedule."
"What would help you get more sleep? Studying earlier?"
"Not having to write a paper with an exact word count," I mumbled.
He chuckled. "Let me rephrase that. Is there anything I have any control over that I can help with?"
"I wish. No, I probably just need to get used to college life."
Carter leaned close and whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. "I'm sure it would be a lot easier if you could remember your life, right?"
I nodded and rested against him. "That would definitely help."
He kissed my cheek. "We'll see what we can do about that."
"How?"
"Maybe we'll find the answers in this class. It is psychology."
"I'm not going to hold my breath."
"Why not?"
"I've never heard of an intro psych course solving anyone's problems."
His lips curved into a smile. "There's always a first time for everything. And besides, it's not like your memory is the best."
That comment hit me like a slap to the face. I scooted away from him.
"Wait, I didn't mean—"
"Someone didn't send me their assignment," Massaro bellowed as he entered the classroom. "Which one of you bold souls dared to defy me? You'd best admit it now since I already know who you are."
Silence hung in the air. Despite all my problems, I pitied the person who hadn't turned in the assignment.
"Nobody wants to take responsibility?" He dropped his bag onto the table. The sound echoed all around.
He narrowed his eyes and glanced around the room. "It would be better for the person to stand up now and admit her shortcoming."
Massaro paced the room, taking the time to make eye contact with each student individually.
Finally, he stopped. "I'm almost impressed with this student's brazenness. But I urge her to speak up now."
The only sounds in the room were of people breathing.
"Who is Victoria Bernhardt?"
My throat closed up.
"I thought you said you sent it," Carter whispered.
"Where is Miss Bernhardt?" Massaro demanded.
I raised my hand.
He came over to me, glowering. "Why didn't you do your assignment?"
"I did." It barely came out as more than a whisper.
"I don't have it." His eyes narrowed and walked over to my desk, towering over me.
"But I sent it."
"When?"
My entire body shook. "This morning, around nine."
"Sure you sent it to the right email?" He leaned down, closer to me.
"Y-yes. I double checked."
He shook his head, making a tsk noise. "Yet four hours later, I still don't have it."
I sat up straight. "I can prove it. It's in my sent folder."
"You'd better hope so. Show me now."
Carter met my gaze as I pulled out my laptop. My hands shook so bad, I nearly dropped it. Once my email was open, I was so nervous, I had to type my password four times before I got it right.
I scrolled over to my sent messages and showed him. "See? It's right here. There's your email address, and it shows I sent it at five after nine, exactly."
He narrowed his eyes. "Open it."
I did and then scrolled through my exactly three thousand word essay.
"Leta Hollingworth. Good choice, though I was looking for someone a little lesser known. Resend it, and if I don't reply, print it out and hand it to me tomorrow. Got it?"
"Yes. Thank you."
He turned around and opened his own laptop. "Turn to page twenty-two of your text books."
I slunk down in the chair, still shaking. Somehow I made it through the class, but once Carter and I were outside the building, I couldn't recall anything Massaro had said after humiliating me.
Carter turned to me. "I'm so sorry you had to deal with that."
"At least I could prove I'd sent it."
"Still, that sucked a big one. I had to keep myself from punching that jerk in the throat."
"It wasn't his fault the email never showed."
"Yeah, but he didn't have to treat you like that." Carter's face pinched. "I still have half a mind to go back in there and—"
"Don't. He has something to prove, and I don't want him taking it out on you. If I have to print out my assignment, I will."
He frowned. "If you're sure, I'll drop it."
"Thank you."
"I gotta get to my next class. Study at the Jag again?"
"Yeah, that would be great."
He pulled me close, embraced me, and kissed the top of my head. "It'll all be fine. Maybe take a nap. I'll call you when I'm ready to head over."
I stared into his eyes. "Thank you. You make me feel sane."
Carter ran the back of his fingers along my jawline. "My pleasure, and you're as sane as they come. I'm serious about that nap." He brushed his lips across mine and walked away.
I watched him until he was out of sight. He really did make me feel normal, which given the circumstances of my life, was a miracle.
A group of four girls came over to me.
"Are you da
ting Carter Jag?" asked a girl with wavy auburn hair.
"You're so lucky," gushed a blonde. "He barely gives anyone the time of day."
"Have you been to the Jag?" asked the first girl.
My head spun. "Yeah and yeah."
They all squealed.
"What's it like?" asked a redhead, her eyes wide.
"It's really nice," I said. "Look, I have to get going."
"Are you the one who had lunch with Professor Foley?" asked the fourth girl.
"Um, yeah. He was helping me with stats."
The blonde stepped closer to me. "Can you rub some of your hot-guy magnet on me? Oh-em-gee. You're, like, the luckiest girl on campus."
"Right?" The redhead scowled at me. "Save some hotties for other people. So selfish."
"Seriously, I have to go." I adjusted the strap on my backpack and ran for the Waldensian.
Once I got to my room, I found Sasha sitting on her bed, blasting music and typing on her laptop. "Hey! How's it going?"
"Worst day ever." I kicked my shoes off and threw myself on my bed.
She turned the music down. "That bad?"
"Worse. The only good thing is that things can only get better from here."
"Ouch. Can I help?"
"I just need a nap."
"No problem. I can scram. I have a study group soon, anyway."
"Thanks." I pulled my covers back.
"Oh, your dad called not long ago."
The blood drained from my head. "What?"
"Yeah, he called the landline. Nice guy."
My mouth gaped.
"Have a nice nap." Sasha smiled. "Don't forget to call your dad later. Sounded like he really wanted to talk to you."
"I… Did you get his number?"
Her brows came together. "I didn't think I needed to. You don't have it?"
"Uh, never mind. Sorry, like I said—bad day."
She gave me a sympathetic glance. "Take that nap. Seems like you need it."
"I will."
Sasha gathered some things and left the room.
I flopped onto my pillow and pulled the covers up. My dad had called? And talked with Sasha? Why hadn't he called the cell phone? Or was he expecting the service to be cut off?
I dug into my bag and checked my phone. Full service. Everything seemed fine—except for the lack of contacts.
Was there another phone somewhere with all my memories? Pictures of friends and family? Toby?
It was too much to think about, and I didn't want to think of my professor. Not after the way lunch had gone. If he didn't think I was nuts before, he was sure to after the way I'd ran off.
I glanced back and forth between my phone and pillow. As tired as I was, I doubted I could sleep now. I got up and checked the caller ID on the phone. A blocked number. Of course. Maybe there was a way to find out the number my dad had called from.
A half hour later, my online search had yielded nothing useful. The number was blocked, so there was no way I could find it.
Maybe I just needed to take Carter's advice and get some sleep. I still had to study and then work.
At least I had a parent. Maybe whatever Sasha had said convinced him to give me access to the money again. Not that I'd stop working. If this had taught me anything, it was that I needed to make sure I could take care of myself.
I yawned. Maybe a power nap would help. If nothing else, I'd at least feel a little better. I climbed back into bed and closed my eyes. It was too bright to sleep. I pulled one of the pillows over my eyes. Much better.
My body gave into the exhaustion and stress. I fell into what felt like a deep sleep…
Dark woods surrounded me. I could see a few stars between tree branches. The metallic odor of blood hung in the air. Shouts and cries sounded not far away. A wolf howled somewhere in the distance.
A tree fell behind me, landing with a harsh thud. I jumped and turned around.
"Victoria!"
I spun around again.
Toby ran toward me, covered in blood. "They're going to kill us. We have to leave now."
Fear tore through me. "But my sister—"
"They won't hurt her. She's done nothing wrong. Come on."
"She covered for us. They'll kill her."
A shot rang through the air. Something hit the tree next to Toby's head.
I screamed.
Toby covered my mouth and put an arm around my shoulders. He guided me around the fallen tree, and then we ran, darting around bushes and low-hanging branches.
Footsteps thundered near us. A group of men blocked our path, bearing hatchets. I recognized Toby's father. His eyes narrowed and he aimed his blade at me.
I sat up in bed, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.
The dream had felt so real.
I threw aside the covers and jumped onto the floor. The smell of blood and gunpowder mixed with Toby's rugged scent lingered in my nostrils. I had to get out of there. Away from everything.
My pulse drummed in my ears as I ran down the stairs.
"Are you okay?" Landon called from the kitchen.
"I'm going for a run."
"Without any shoes?"
I glanced down at my bare feet. "Yeah." It didn't matter. I'd had enough of it all—and it was only the second day of classes. I ran out the front door and headed straight for the patch of woods near the Waldensian.
Rocks and twigs dug into the soles of my feet. It felt good in a way—physical pain was better than emotional.
My feet pushed harder, and I finally made it to a small path. Several fire pits were nearby, all littered with bottles and wrappers. I ran faster, feeling the burn in my lungs and legs. Sharper rocks pricked my feet, but I didn't let that slow me down.
It wasn't until I could barely breathe that I stopped. I leaned against a tree and gasped for air. Everything around me seemed blurry. I couldn't remember what'd had me so stressed.
Good.
I huffed and puffed, breathing in the clean, fresh air. Somehow I knew I'd always loved the woods because of all the wonderful smells. Today, it was a pleasant mixture of soil, pine needles, berries, and something musky. I sniffed the air, zoning in on the musky scent. Though I couldn't place it, it struck me as familiar.
A gray and black wolf walked up to me. I gave it a double-take. It was the same one I'd seen when jogging a few days earlier.
It sniffed my leg and then plunked its backside on the ground.
"You again?" I exclaimed. "What's the deal, big guy?"
The animal nuzzled its nose against my leg and pushed its head underneath my hands.
"And now you want to be petted?"
I had some interesting luck—at least it wasn't attacking me. I rubbed its ears and the top of its head, half-expecting it to bite me despite how things had gone before. Instead, its tail wagged and whipped against the ground.
It seemed to remind me of something. Maybe I'd had a dog growing up that had acted similarly.
"If we're going to keep running into each other, I should give you a name. What do you think?"
He continued wagging his tail.
I studied the cute face. "You seem like an Alex. Sound good?" Not only that, but it was a name that could belong to a male or a female.
The wolf continued to rub against me, apparently agreeing, or maybe just enjoying the attention. Maybe it wasn't a wolf, but just a lost dog. How would I know the difference? I felt confident that it was a wolf, but really, why was I so sure?
I slid down to sitting and the animal sniffed my face, rubbing its wet nose on my skin. Though I should've been concerned, I wasn't. I closed my eyes and he rested his head in my lap.
After a while, I woke with a start. The wolf glanced up at me, seeming to question what was going on. I rubbed my eyes.
"I think I'm supposed to meet Carter." I jumped up and ran toward the mansion, groggy and with slow reflexes. A low-hanging branch hit me in the face and as I rubbed my face, I tripped over a root and tumbled to the ground. I r
olled a few feet, picking up dirt and leaves in my hair.
I tried dusting myself off, but it was pointless—I'd need a shower. As I ran, more twigs and pebbles dug into my feet.
Once I finally reached the Waldensian, the cherry-red Ferrari sat in front.
My stomach dropped. I didn't want him seeing me like this.
Chapter 17
Toby
I closed the office door. My afternoon class had felt like it went on for an eternity. I still couldn't get over the fact that Victoria had called me by my first name. I hadn't told any of the students what it was.
Somehow she'd remembered. It had freaked her out, but she'd remembered.
A mixture of hope and frustration filled me as I watched her run into the cafeteria after our lunch together. It continued to run through me, making it hard to focus on anything else.
Despite her inability to remember our life together, it was still there. It was just a matter of breaking the barrier, and it was already cracking.
The sound of her voice saying my name continued rolling around in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking of the look in her eyes when I'd put my hand on hers.
Things were clicking—her memories awakening. I just needed to find a way to help the process along without sending her running every time.
Knock, knock.
I sat in my chair and grabbed a stack of papers so I'd look busy. "Come in."
The door opened and Roger came in. "Some of us have a weekly poker game, and a spot just opened up. Interested?"
His question caught me off guard. "I'm not really a gambling man."
"Oh, it's just for fun. I've never lost more than forty bucks. Drinks, snacks, and guy time."
I thought of my unruly pack the previous night and wasn't sure I needed more testosterone-filled time.
Roger closed the door and walked to my desk. "Let me level with you."
I arched a brow.
"It wasn't easy convincing the others to let you in."
"Why's that?"
"No one trusts you, but if you join us—"
"What? Why doesn't anyone trust me?"
He took a deep breath and sat in the student seat across from me. "Look at all the facts, man. You're new and young, yet you have a reference list longer than anyone else."
Lost Wolf (Curse of the Moon Book 1) Page 11