“I’m safe with you, Jacob.”
He’d never felt such a surge of emotions as he did at that moment. Not trusting his voice, he nodded his approval.
“Thank you, Master.”
He’d also never been thanked after a session, not like that. His emotions threatened to spill over. He gently ran his hand over Lee’s head, petting him. “You’re welcome.”
The scene may be over, but the dynamics weren’t. Now was the time for the most important part of play—aftercare. He knelt next to the bed and continued to soothe his slave, slowly drawing him out of his role. “You did very well tonight.”
He drew in a deep breath and slowly released it. “I’ve never felt a high like that.”
“Never?” It was a good session, but it wasn’t a great session. That would come in time.
“It’s like this weight has been sitting on my chest, crushing me. Every session. Every chance to play, this tightness gripped me and made it impossible to stay in my role.” He pulled in another breath. “Until now. I can finally take a breath without my safe word hovering on my lips.” Lee blinked his eyes open and studied him. “Does that make any sense?”
Jacob continued to stroke Lee’s head. “That’s fear. You were scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of not having control.” He struggled with that fear every damn day. “Just remember what I said.”
“I’m safe with you.” As he said the phrase, his gaze fixed on Jacob’s.
He waited until he swore he saw into Lee’s soul before repeating it back to him. “You’re safe with me. Always, Lee. Always.”
Lee nodded and closed his eyes as he drew in another deep breath. “Jacob?”
“Yeah?”
“I can’t feel my fingers.”
“Shit.” He removed the restraints and gently touched where the leather had rubbed his delicate skin raw. “Oh, babe. Shit!”
“I’m fine.” Lee pushed off the bed and checked his phone, frowning. “It’s not even nine.”
“Got a hot date?” Who cared about the time? They were in the middle of something, here.
“No.” He glanced at him and back to the phone, clearly avoiding Jacob’s gaze.
He got it. When he played, he played hard. This wasn’t hard, but it did push Lee’s limits. The man needed time to recover. They both did. Aftercare was just as important as the session, if not more. Maybe Lee wasn’t the type who liked to be touched after a scene. Jacob had played with partners who insisted on being alone once the scene ended. Lee seemed more like the cuddling type, but maybe not tonight. Maybe not after their first time together.
“Let me draw you a bath.”
Lee shook his head. “I’m fine.”
“I insist.” Jacob wouldn’t allow his sub to regret their session. He’d do whatever it took to bring him comfort, to care for him as he’d promised he would.
“I don’t want a bath.”
The tone of his voice stopped Jacob in his tracks. He spun around, facing him. Lee quickly placed his back to Jacob as he grabbed his pants, dressing.
Not sure what to do, he dressed and waited for Lee to look at him. When he didn’t, Jacob understood. It wasn’t regret. It wasn’t embarrassment. Lee was emotionally exhausted from the session and needed time alone to recover. He couldn’t fault him for that. Jacob could use a little time by himself as well.
“Come here.” Jacob took his arm and led him to the bed. Without a word, he undressed his lover and placed him under the covers. He then went into the bathroom and grabbed the lotion, returning to slather it on Lee’s wrists. No words were spoken as Lee watched him intently. Jacob held his gaze as he took his time gently rubbing his lover’s skin. “Are you okay?”
“You’re right. I was scared.”
Shock and concern rocked his system. “You never used your safe word. Why?”
“Because I’m safe with you, Jacob.”
His chest tightened as he nodded, accepting Lee’s answer. He dropped his attention to his hand tracing Lee’s arm. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
“I’m not.”
He jumped his gaze to Lee’s. “You aren’t?”
“I needed that,” he explained and rolled to his back to face Jacob. “Something tells me you already knew what I needed long before we started to play.”
Grinning, he leaned in and brushed his lips across Lee’s. “Get some rest.”
“Where are you going?”
“We never did eat. This place has a restaurant, right?” Or better yet, a bar.
He nodded and his eyes closed.
Jacob finished dressing and turned to say something, but Lee looked so peaceful. He didn’t want to disturb him and instead quietly slipped out.
13
Lee made sure he had everything packed up and gave the room one last cursory glance. Since Jacob hadn’t even stuck around for morning after coffee, he couldn’t see dropping another grand on a room he’d be sleeping in alone.
He couldn’t blame the man. They’d neglected one of the first rules of play—alone time after the session. They needed time to recover. Lee hadn’t been physically spent as much as emotionally. He couldn’t process what he’d gone through with Jacob in the room.
Having to repeat that phrase over and over forced Lee to finally confront the biggest fear of all, the one he’d been hiding from, the one that had him on the verge of his safe word every time he tried to play.
He no longer felt safe.
Until last night.
Last night was the first time he’d had a dreamless sleep since the attack. Every night he dreaded sleep, knowing he’d return to that alley. He’d see those men corner him, closing in. Then the unrelenting pain as the shots rang out.
Until last night.
He glanced around one last time as disappointment gripped him. How would they move past this? Could they? They should have never come here in the first place. What were they thinking, going from strangers to friends to long lost acquaintances to jumping right into BDSM relations? They were both clearly mental.
The room phone rang, startling him. He grabbed the receiver. “Hello?”
“Mr. Lamont? There’s a Jake—”
“Jacob,” he corrected in a growl.
“Sorry,” the clerk sang in a snotty tone. “There’s a— Hey!”
“Lee, will you tell this guy to let me up to the room? Breakfast is getting cold.”
Breakfast? “Of course. Hand the phone back to him.”
“He’s lucky I don’t shove it up his—”
“Jacob.”
He growled again. “Fine. Here.”
The clerk came back on the line. “Mr. Lamont?”
“He’s with me.”
“Are you sure? Because if he’s a threat to you in any way…”
“What?” Jacob barked in the background. “Give me the phone. Give me the phone!”
Lee chuckled. “You’d better let him up before he loses his temper.”
“Before?” The clerk’s voice faded as he replaced the receiver. “Sir, those are for registered guests.” The line went dead.
Oh boy. Jacob was going to be in a mood when he got up to the room. They may not know each other well, but he at least knew that much about the copper top. He had a short fuse.
The knock on the door announced his arrival. Lee opened it and leaned against the doorframe, studying the man with a tray of food in one hand. When Lee didn’t immediately let him in, Jacob placed his free hand on his hip.
Lee crossed his arms and eyed his appearance. Disheveled hair. Same clothes as last night. Glassy eyes. He’d been up all night. “Where’ve you been?”
“Out. Do you mind? This is kind of heavy.”
He glanced at the tray. “It looks heavy.”
“Damn it, Lee. Just let me in.”
He jumped out of the way as Jacob entered and placed the tray on the dining table, thrilled the man had come back. “What’s for breakfast?”
“Eggs ben
edict, potatoes, and something grilled I’m not so sure you’re supposed to eat.”
Lee laughed and came up behind him, slipping his arms around his midsection and kissing him on the neck. He caught a whiff of what it smelled like being out all night and wrinkled his nose. “Whew. Did you roll in something? What’s that smell?”
“Desolation.” He sniffed at his shirt and made a face before pulling it over his head and tossing it aside. “I’ve been out.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Jacob searched the room, slowly making his way up the stairs. He faced the room again, glancing around. As soon as he spotted something on the couch, he made a beeline for it, lifted one of the pillows, and pulled out his phone. “Didn’t realize I left it here until I was already outside.”
Disappointment once again threatened to rob Lee of his good mood. So, that was why he’d come back. The food must be some sort of peace treaty.
“Didn’t think to grab a card to the room, either,” he went on. “I came back after walking around for a couple hours to give us both some space. The security guard at the front doors asked to see my room card. When I told him I didn’t have one, he sent me away.”
“You could have had them call me.” Lee hated how fast he jumped to the wrong conclusion.
“We both needed time apart. You know, aftercare.”
“You call walking around all night aftercare?”
“I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Jacob, waking up alone this morning disturbed me.”
He eyed the bag at Lee’s feet. “I thought you said we had the room all weekend.”
We. He said we. As casually as possible, Lee took a seat in front of the food and grabbed a fork, suddenly famished. “We do. I was just packing up the equipment.”
“No more play?” He pulled out a chair and took a seat across from him.
“Not when we don’t have designated safe places to return to after the session. That’s aftercare, not simply being apart.”
Jacob nodded and stole a piece of bacon off the plate. “I’m with you on that one.”
Even lukewarm, the food was incredible. “Is there coffee?”
“I’ll find some.” He stood and searched cabinets until he pulled down a single cup coffeemaker. He delivered the first cup to Lee while the second cup brewed.
Lee ate everything on the plate, sans the grilled tomato. That he moved aside to scoop up the last of the potatoes and washed it all down with the coffee.
Jacob stayed in the kitchen area, watching him as he sipped off his cup. Lee pushed the plate away and grabbed his mug. “Why are you staring?”
“I like the view.”
“You get a better view from over here.”
“I can see you fine from here.”
“Should I join you?”
Jacob shook his head. “Not until I know what I’m going to do.”
“About?” Lee finished his coffee and stood to make another cup.
“Delivering the punishments you earned last night.”
Lee sank back into the chair as uncertainty and curiosity battled for dominance over his reaction. “W-What?”
“Since we aren’t planning any more play here at the hotel, I guess I’ll just have to keep a tally. You’re up to two, in case you weren’t counting.”
“If I refuse?”
“That’ll put you up to three.”
He’d never had anyone tally his punishments. It both flattered and annoyed him. Flattered Jacob wanted to stick around and train him. Annoyed he felt Lee needed to be trained. “You and your tallies. You kept count of the number of questions I asked on our first date.”
He rose and said nothing as he made another cup of coffee. Jacob simply stood in the same place, his damn eyes dancing like hazel freakin’ ballerinas. Screw this. He needed something strong in his coffee and knelt to get at the minibar, realizing too late that Jacob was less than a foot away.
“You will stay on your knees until I finish my coffee.”
Goddamn him. Conceding, Lee accepted his punishment. It only took him a few seconds to find the loophole and proceeded to grab a whiskey out of the minibar, shuffle on his knees back to grab his coffee, and marry the combo.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m spiking my coffee.”
“I didn’t give you permission to move.”
“You didn’t order me to stay.”
“I…” He fell silent as he narrowed his eyes into a glare. “Are you sure you aren’t a lawyer?”
“Pretty sure.”
He tossed back the rest of his coffee and turned to make another cup. When he caught Lee rising to his feet, he brought up his hands. “What are you doing now?”
“Getting up.”
“I’m not done with my coffee.”
“Your cup is empty.”
He growled and thrust his fingers through his hair. He gave another look before reaching in and pulling out the other whiskey from the minibar, bypassing the coffee, and guzzling half the tiny bottle. He then shuddered and dumped the rest in his cup as the coffee brewed. “This stuff is nasty.”
“Why do you think I put it in my coffee?”
“How much is each bottle anyway?” He threw out the empties and brought the cup of steaming liquid to his lips.
“Ten buck apiece, and that’s the cheap stuff.”
Jacob sprayed coffee all over the counter.
“You just spit out at least two dollars.”
“Put it on my tab.”
“How about I keep a tally?”
He set the cup on the counter and faced him. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not okay with receiving punishment?”
“Because I’m not okay with receiving punishment,” Lee fired back.
“Do as you’re told, then.”
“You do as you’re told.” God, he sounded like a petulant ten-year-old.
“When we switch, I will.”
They stilled, eyeing each other. Did he just agree to another play session, this time as the sub? The thought of dominating Jacob stirred in Lee’s blood, kicking up his pulse. “When will that be, exactly?”
“Not this weekend.” He went back to his coffee. “The rest of our time in this room will be vanilla.”
As much as he didn’t like the idea of vanilla sex, he had to agree. They needed time together outside of play to discover each other’s likes and dislikes. Lee’s likes in bed weren’t always the same as when he role-played.
Jacob’s phone buzzed. He frowned and retrieved it off the table, reading the screen and frowning deeper. Instead of thumbing a reply, he typed in a number and brought the phone to his ear. “Burns. I couldn’t find my phone.” He flicked his gaze Lee’s way. “I’m here with him now… What?… What!”
“What? What!” Lee didn’t care that he’d just repeated Jacob’s exact words and urgent tone. It fit the situation.
“Are you sure it was him? You’re absolutely sure? I know, I know. You put Reynolds on it? Are you crazy, Walsh? That guy doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground.”
Why’d he call Walsh? Was there a case? Or find? Or whatever TREX called their missions. How’d that involve him? Or Jacob? He’d made it a point of saying they were together. Was he in some sort of danger?
“Is this about the break-in?”
Jacob shot him a look and faced the windows overlooking the water. “Why wouldn’t you put me on this? You know I’m the most qualified. The rest of the residents at the Farm aren’t former agents. Except for her. Malone, too? Well, at least I trust him. Why not put him on it?”
He stiffened and glanced over his shoulder, snagging Lee’s gaze. “Yeah, I agree. That is more important. You got it. No, I won’t lose my phone again. Just in case, I’ll text you Lee’s number as a backup. Hey, Walsh? Tell Kyle to keep my seat warm.”
He ended the call and faced him. When he waited a nanosecond too long to speak, Lee snapped. “What? Wha
t happened? What is it? Talk to me? Why aren’t you talking?”
“Oh my God. Breathe.”
Every time he said that word, Lee was back on the bed, blindfolded, close to losing his shit. He flared his nostrils as he struggled to control his breathing.
“TREX picked up some chatter. It’s probably nothing, but just to be safe, Walsh asked me to stay with you until he gives the all clear. Do you have a shirt I can wear?”
While he liked the idea of Jacob staying with him, he needed more detail or he really would lose his shit. He went to the bag by the door and dug out one of his T-shirts, tossing it at him. “Chatter? What kind of chatter? What’s that even mean?”
Jacob slipped it over his head and tugged it down. Lee had to stop himself from groaning. That shirt never looked that good on him. Jacob didn’t seem to notice the perfect fit and went back to the table for his phone, answering Lee as he scrolled through the messages.
“Chatter is a term we use when there’s a sudden spike in communication. Emails. Texts. Forums. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t understand half of it, which is why I’m a field agent.” He slumped and added, “Well, I used to be.”
“What are you now?”
He scowled. “I’m a rogue. That’s even lower than a mall cop.”
“I’m not going to pretend to understand your disdain for whatever you mean by a rogue. I want to know what any of this has to do with me. What chatter? About what? So far, you’ve only given me enough to really freak me out.”
“Walsh says TREX has had Orchid, Inc. on their radar for a while now.”
That news didn’t settle well with Lee. “Why? Have I done something wrong?”
“I don’t know.” He regarded him. “Have you?”
“No,” he answered quickly.
“Intel picked up a spike in communication.” He looked at him. “Chatter.”
“And?”
“And mentions you and something about a fire. Flash. Blaze. Something.”
His heart skipped. “Inferno?”
“Inferno,” he repeated with a nod, confirming Lee’s fear. That break-in had to do with the counter-virus software.
“There’s more.”
Jacob Page 12