Aymer grabbed Geoff and pulled him away before he could act on the slurs just voiced. Geoff heard the king call out to John, but ’twas too late. So many insults had been issued against Catherine that he did not know how to keep some of them from sinking in. Despite his efforts not to hear the words, John had been successful in planting doubts.
Once outside, Geoff let out the rage that had built inside of him with a roar. “I will kill him!”
His cry pierced the quiet of the night and he shook with the fury of it. He dropped to his knees and tried to pull air into his lungs. When he came back to his senses, Christian looked no better than he felt, and even Luc and Aymer looked shaken and grim.
“I will,” he repeated, even though he knew he could do no such thing. Pushing back his hair, he stood and faced his friends. “I am sorry for letting him goad me into losing control. You warned me of his method and yet still I failed.”
“He has had years of training in his craft, my lord,” Luc said. “Others more learned and more experienced than you have fallen into his traps.”
“I have failed Catherine in this, for now his words about her will spread through the entire castle and she will be held in disrepute because of them.”
“Do you believe them?” Christian asked.
Geoff could not answer, for some of the accusations rang true. She was not a virgin. And John’s comment about the noises Catherine made…
“Do you believe him?” Chris asked insistently.
“I am trying to sort through his words and recognize them for the lies they are.”
“Come, walk with me,” his brother said, and gaining his feet, Geoff walked beside him. When they were separated from Luc and Aymer by some distance, Chris faced him.
“Now you know the claims he will make on the morrow, before the king and his court. If you believe his words, if you will not stand by her, tell me now and I will go to the king on your behalf.”
“Go to the king? And say what?” How could John know such personal details about Catherine if he had not…if she had not… The worst part was that Geoff thought John was right about Catherine remembering her past. There was something in her eyes whenever she disavowed knowledge or said her memories of that time were gone that made him think she did remember it. And that she remembered it all and would not admit it to him.
“I will say whatever is necessary to break the betrothal. I will ask the king to exert his influence on the bishop to issue an annulment and have her put away in a convent.”
“There can be no annulment of this, Chris. You know we have consummated our pledge.”
What could he do now? If he did not fight for her before the king, his honor was lost, for he had pledged himself to her. If he did, he was certain that John would sully her reputation even more. How could Geoff keep her as wife if he was not sure of her part in this? Was this about revenge? Was John’s claim about her being barren another lie? How would he know? Geoff shook his head, not even wanting to contemplate the extent of the prince’s knowledge.
“Tell me what to do,” he begged.
“I fear that I cannot. I struggle even now with the knowledge that there has been one before me in Emalie’s bed. Even in spite of knowing who it was and knowing that she has been faithful to me from the time we took our vows before the priest. It picks at me still. If what John says is true, will you know how many came before you? Does it matter?”
He paused and gazed at Geoffrey with bleak eyes, a look he’d seen before when he spoke of his discord with Emalie. “For months I learned the truth, I suspected every man at Greystone and watched Emalie for some sign of her sins. It nearly killed me. So I am not the man to tell you how to deal with whatever the truth is with Catherine.”
There it was. The fear that existed beneath all the layers about honor and pledges and truth and lies. The ugly fear that was so base he did not want to acknowledge it even to himself. How could he trust her in the future if she lied about her past?
“I must think about the best way to handle this,” Geoffrey mumbled the only comment he could make.
“I know you love her, Geoff. Think about what public consideration of these accusations, lies and half truths will do to her if this is brought before the king on the morrow. No matter that there may something in his words, everyone who hears the gossip will believe it all and she will be damned as women who lose their virtue are. Is that what you want for her?”
“I know not…” He choked on the doubting words.
“Speak to her. Hear her words. Gain her explanation before this goes to the king.”
Christian nodded to him and walked away, leaving Geoff alone to contemplate all he had heard and all he knew. His love for Catherine had never been tested before. It had existed between them without planning or forethought, and he knew she returned his feelings. But now, doubt and fear had crept into his soul. How could he face her if he did not trust her word?
He was not ready for sleep, so there was no use in going back to his chambers. Although he would like to get drunk enough to forget the words spoken tonight, he also realized that the morning would be even more difficult to face than it already promised to be. So he climbed to the ramparts and walked and thought about the depth of his love for Catherine and the best path to take in this.
When dawn came hours later, he was still walking.
Chapter Twenty-Three
’Twas about an hour past terce when she was summoned to the Exchequer’s Hall to answer to the prince’s petition for her custody. Unusual though it was for the woman involved to be present, apparently the king and bishop had given leave for her to be there. When she saw Eleanor next to the king, she knew why.
Since they were still busy with some other question or petition, Catherine stayed in the back of the hall. That was where Geoffrey found her.
He looked wonderful. He looked terrible. Although he was dressed in his finest garments, with his gold chain around his neck, nothing could hide the circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. She supposed they were matched in that, for she had not closed her eyes once during the night. When he did not kiss her or even touch her hand, she knew the worst had happened.
Constance had already revealed to her the scene caused by the prince in the hall last evening, and although she would not repeat all the words said, her look of pity spoke clearly. Now, reading the doubt in Geoff’s eyes, Catherine could not let this go on. She loved him too much to subject him to the humiliation that the prince planned for opposing him.
“My lord,” she said as he stepped nearer. “We must talk.”
“Aye, Catherine,” he agreed.
“I have discovered that the queen is retiring to Fontrevault. With your consent, I would accompany her there.”
“You may visit the queen anytime you’d like. Fontrevault is not far at all from Château d’Azure.”
“I mean not to visit, my lord. I mean to stay there.”
He flinched at her words as he realized what she was asking. She must conclude this quickly before she lost her nerve. “We are betrothed, Cate.”
“I find I am not suited for marriage, after all, my lord. I would ask for release from our betrothal.”
He flinched again and this time, he shook his head. “You love me. We consummated our pledge. You cannot disavow this now.”
“But that was before you learned the truth.” She was giving him a way out, but he would not make this easy.
“What truth did I learn, Catherine? Do you remember what happened to you during that year? Tell me so I may know the truth.”
“The prince has made it clear to everyone last evening what I did, what I am…. Surely you believe him?”
“Because you give me nothing else!” He stepped closer and examined her face. “He said you remember everything. Do you? Do you remember?”
She could not say so, for if she acknowledged it even to him, it would be a weapon in the prince’s hands. Once she let down her guard, the rest of her would fall.
>
But Geoff must have read the truth in her eyes, for he backed away. “Tell me. Tell me what he did to you.” He did touch her now, taking her by the shoulders and pulling her close. “I need to hear it from you.”
“My lord… Geoffrey…do you not see what has happened? Even if I tell you or if I deny his words, you will always wonder if I ever spoke the truth. You have lost faith in me and I do not think you will ever regain it.”
“Just tell me, Catherine. Please.”
A part of her wanted to say it all. She wanted to scream out her rage and her hatred and her pain. It had taken three years of praying and living a quiet life to recover her self-control, and she would not relinquish it now and let the prince win.
“Do you love me?” she asked.
“I do, Cate, with all my heart.”
“Will you honor this betrothal even if I do not answer your question? If you hear not the words from my mouth about my past, to confirm or deny the prince’s accusations, will you take me as wife?”
“I will honor my pledge.” The words were gruffly spoken.
“Why? Why would you want me as your wife when you believe I was the prince’s whore?”
“I do not believe all that he said,” he began. When he realized how badly that sounded, he went on. “I gave you my word, when you accompanied me here. I promised to wed you.”
“So, for your honor’s sake, you will take me as wife?”
She saw the pain in his eyes as he admitted it to himself before he admitted it to her. This was no longer about love, this was about obligation and, most hurtfully, this was about pity. The love they shared would die a strangled death if she accepted this agreement, and she could not do that to either of them. A marriage of respect and property and titles was preferable to a marriage of lost hopes and dreams.
She loved him too much to subject him to less than what they had dreamed and planned for. But until the matter with John was settled, she could not risk giving up the only protection she had from the prince. Admitting her past would give him power over her. Remembering the past was remembering the packet of letters her brother had sent to her with instructions about hiding it from everyone. Remembering the past was answering for those who had been tortured or killed on her behalf. And remembering that would be more painful than she could bear.
Untying the ribbon that held it in place, she slid his father’s ring from her finger and handed it to him. Catherine managed to hold back the tears, though how she knew not.
“Would you ask the earl to speak for me to the king?”
At Geoff’s nod, she excused herself and ran back to her chamber. Throwing herself on the bed, she cried out at the pain of loss and of betrayal, and she cried for what could have been with Geoffrey.
“The lady has asked for an annulment?”
“Aye, sire. She has asked me to speak on her behalf in the matter.”
“An annulment?” The king’s tone told of his surprise over this change.
“This is outrageous,” John fumed. “But brother, before the issue of the betrothal can be settled, you must decide the custody issue.”
“You do not need to remind me of my duties.”
Geoffrey watched as the royal siblings fell into their pattern of nipping at each other’s heels.
He could not concentrate on their words. Nothing made sense at all. After believing for the last month that his dream of marrying Catherine would be realized, he could not fathom how to go on from here.
The woman he loved had given him the painful gift of bringing an end to their betrothal. She had recognized the humiliation and scandal and dishonor that the accusations made by the prince would bring to his name. Allegations that she was unable to answer. Or unwilling to answer?
That was the problem at the heart of this. He knew that she was lying about her memory. Her eyes disclosed that truth to him. She lied to him. She professed her love and lied in the same breath.
Geoff wanted to be any place but here. He wanted to witness anything but this. He wanted to be able to tell her that nothing mattered. But he could not.
Despite loving her, despite knowing that nothing that had happened to her was her fault, he could not trust her now.
“If you will use your influence with the bishop to nullify this betrothal, the lady Catherine wishes to enter the convent.”
“That would be appropriate in light of what is being said about her past behavior. Time to contemplate her sins and pray for forgiveness, sire. I would not be opposed to this.” Charles, bishop of Caen, added his esteemed opinion on the matter.
Her sins? Forgiveness? Did they even know of what or whom they spoke? She was one of the gentlest, kindest, most decent people he knew. She did not need to be forgiven.
Or did she? What had happened between her and the prince? Had he been the one to take her virtue? Had he been the only one or had there been others?
Geoff shook his head at the absurdity of it. He knew her, he loved her. Why then had he let the sordid words affect him? What fault was in him that caused him to hesitate instead of trusting her?
She’d lied to him. He had lost his faith in her words.
“My lord Langier? What say you on this matter?”
The king’s query brought him back to this sorry scene. What could he say? She had offered him a way out without his honor being offended. He would have completed the marriage—his word to her would have been carried out and he would take her back to his lands and try to forget all of the ugliness. The images of her and John that flooded his thoughts. The scenes of debauchery that John’s words had caused in his mind. The sound of her throaty cries as she reached her release that echoed in his memory. His stomach turned as he suspected that John’s words contained some of the truth.
What could he say?
“Sire, I would not think of coming between Catherine and her desire to pledge her life to God. If she has asked for a release from our agreement, I would not oppose it.”
Richard appeared confused and leaned to confer with the queen and the bishop. Geoff stood, stunned into silence over his words with Catherine, and watched as they continued for several minutes. All he knew was that Christian was beside him, that the prince paced angrily on the dais behind the king and that Catherine was gone. Finally, the bishop spoke aloud for them all to hear.
“Although annulling a betrothal is a grievous matter and a regrettable action for all involved, I find that there was a lack of consent on the part of the desponsata on entering into the betrothal, and will support the king’s decision to declare it to be void. The count is free to enter into lawful marriage to another.”
Geoffrey nearly laughed at that, but realized it would be inappropriate to do so. The only woman he wanted to marry was gone now, and he could not conceive of how to go back and live without her.
If only he could have given her the answer she needed instead of the one he had. If only he could have offered her the trust that she had given him each step of their journey. Love was not, as Christian warned him, enough. Trust and faith had to be present as well.
The rest of the proceedings went by in a blur. Geoff thought that Christian had offered to John an amount matching the original dowry he had held for Catherine. Once the king awarded her wardship to Eleanor, Geoffrey could not bring his attention to any more of it, for Catherine was no longer his. Aymer finally shook him from his dazed state and pulled him from the hall.
The grand adventure of rescuing the woman he loved from danger and bringing her to safety and a happy marriage had turned into a horrible tragedy. And he was not certain how he could bear the pain of knowing that, if he had not acted in the name of love and in such great haste, it might have ended very differently for all of them. Yet, once again, Catherine would bear the heaviest punishment for the sins of others.
Chapter Twenty-Four
With the help of an abundance of ale and wine, the days moved one to the next for him. Soon, with the king’s permission, both he and his brother pr
epared to take their leave of Caen. On the day they planned to depart for his lands, Aymer found him, bringing Lady Constance in an agitated condition.
“I know that the betrothal is ended, but you were the only one I could think of coming to about this,” she said, clutching Aymer’s willing arm for support.
“How can I be of service to you, my lady?”
“The last time this happened, I know that she was hurt.”
Geoffrey looked at Aymer over her head, but the knight shrugged. “Calm yourself and tell me how I might help.”
“’Tis Catherine. She leaves for Fontrevault in the morn, but she seeks out the prince for an audience.”
“The prince?” Geoff asked. “John?” He could not imagine why she would seek out the person who had done her the most harm.
“I tried to stop her. She would not listen.”
“What did she say?”
“That she heard about John’s threats against the Dumonts and that she would settle it before she leaves. I reminded her of the last time she met with him and came out with hand marks all over her gown and bruises on her arm.”
Geoff blinked and tried to understand what was happening. Even though he had not spoken to Catherine since that morning when their betrothal was ended, he could not stand by and let harm come to her.
“Where does she meet him?”
“In the chapel, my lord. She thought to meet him elsewhere, but I suggested the church for her safety, for surely the prince would not desecrate…”
The lady’s words drifted off, sounding less confident at the end than at the beginning. Other men, honorable men, would never dream of violating the sanctity of a church, but the prince was not other men. Catherine was not safe with him in any place. Geoff was already considering his course of action as he turned to leave.
“My lord, remember he is the prince. Tread carefully.”
“I will.”
“Let me escort Lady Constance to her chambers and I will accompany you,” Aymer said, looking from Geoffrey to the distressed lady clinging to his arm.
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