Outta My League (Providence University #4)

by Ali Parker

  Every step I needed to take to reach the future I wanted felt like it was turning into dust in my hands.

  “Okay. She’s good with driving your Mustang, and she promised to be careful.” Layla moved up beside me and slid her arm into mine, pulling me toward her Jeep. “You didn’t have too much to drink, did you?”

  “No.” I extended my hand and took the keys. “I started drinking about five hours ago and slacked off quite a bit when the sun set.”

  I opened her door for her and walked around to the other side, trying to mentally coach myself to chill out just a little. Things had changed a lot between me and Layla over the last month or so, but before that, we were tight, close, good friends. No, not good friends. Best friends. I needed that back if nothing else.

  I let out a long sigh and climbed up in the truck. I was going to have to tear open my chest and spill my heart out to her. I didn’t expect her to crawl in my bed or tell me that she wanted more than a friendship, but I needed to put things back together before I lost my mind. She was a huge part of my support system and one of the only reasons I survived when my sister left. I needed her.

  “It looks like it’s going to start snowing again.” She reached up and turned on the radio as I nodded my agreement. I was lost in my thoughts, trying like hell to figure out how to start a conversation like the one playing through my head.

  Making things more awkward for us wasn’t going to help anything. I needed to reverse time and keep the line drawn in the sand, where she was my closest friend and nothing else.

  “Yep. It’s going to snow.” Her voice sounded far away.

  I glanced over at her and nodded. “Winter’s not done with us yet, right?”

  “Jayce, you okay?” She reached out and squeezed my shoulder as I pulled into the parking lot.

  “Yeah. Why?” I took a short breath as I struggled to get enough air into my lungs.

  “Jayce.” She unbuckled and got on her knees in her seat, reaching out and unbuckling my seatbelt too.

  “What are you doing?” I reached out and gripped the steering wheel as the cab grew dark around me. Fuck. I was in the middle of a panic attack. Fuck.

  “Just breathe. Listen to me. Breathe, okay?” She pressed her hand against my chest and rubbed in big circles as she brushed her lips against my ear. “Breathe, baby. Breathe for me.”

  Something about the sound of her voice caused my throat to open up a little. I sucked in air greedily as fear raced through me.

  “It’s just a panic attack.” She continued to rub my chest and brushed her nose slowly down my jawline. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on how good it felt to be near her again.

  She was only being nice because I couldn’t catch my breath. She wasn’t really interested. She needed a break. Aubrey was gone. I’d quit hockey like the fucking loser I was.

  “Jayce, stop it.” She crawled into my lap, straddling me as she slid her hands over my cheeks and cupped my face. “Look at me. Right now. Look at me.”

  Her voice was so commanding, so familiar.

  “I’m sorry. I just started having these fucking things.” I gripped her hips tightly and closed my eyes. “I don’t know how to make it stop. It comes out of nowhere and I can’t get enough air.”

  “It’s from your thoughts. Calm down and keep your eyes open. Just look at me, okay? I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You promise?” I hated the neediness in my voice, but the day had been more than enough, and the night had kicked it over the edge. I was fucked up, and she seemed like the only one capable of saving me.

  What a shitty thing to put on the woman I loved.

  Chapter 20

  Layla

  The sorrow in his face ripped my heart open. He had no clue how much I loved him, how much I would sacrifice for him. I’d give up everything to be his.

  “I promise, Jayce. I’m not going anywhere.” I rubbed his face softly for a few minutes as he continued to stare at me, unflinching. “Aubrey used to have these when we were in junior high. I can’t tell you how many times I had to climb on top of her and calm her down.”

  “I don’t think she enjoyed it quite as much as I am.” He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh of pleasure.

  I leaned forward and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, pressing myself to the front of him. His erection was rock hard, which should have been a complete turn on, but I was terrified of something happening to him.

  “Tell me you’re okay.” I turned my face toward his and kissed the soft skin just under his neck as tears blurred my vision. “Tell me you can breathe again.”

  “I’m okay.” He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back softly. “I’m so sorry about upsetting you a few weeks ago. I just wanted to take our friendship to another level. I thought you did too. I’m sorry for pushing. I won’t do it again.”

  I sat up and wiped at my tears. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “In the hall, Lay. Don’t skirt around it. You’re one of my best friends. I need you so fucking bad right now and yet I’m scared I’ll upset you again.”

  “When did you upset me?” I pressed my hands into his thick chest and tried hard not to undulate my hips. My mind was scattered, but my body was more than ready to welcome his for a long night of anything he wanted of me.

  He let out a soft growl and glanced up at the ceiling as the snow began to fall from the sky. I glanced out the window, trying to think through the night we stood in the hall.

  “I asked you to sleep with me, but you were right to refuse me.”

  “You asked me to sleep in the bed with you but not to make love.” I touched the side of his face, forcing him to look at me. “I told you that I couldn’t do that. There is no way in hell I could get in your bed and lay there.”

  “It was wrong of me.” He shrugged and reached for the door handle. “Come on. Let’s get upstairs before we get snowed into the Jeep. That would be a night to remember.”

  “Jayce.” I pressed myself against him again, forcing him to sit back. “I wanted you that night like I’ve wanted you every night since I was a girl. Don’t misunderstand what happened in the hall. You’re the only man I want like that.”

  “Then why did you want to go slow? That seems like a sweet way of saying ‘fuck off’ to me. Since when do you go slowly in life? I just figured—”

  I couldn’t let him think the thoughts that he’d convinced himself of. They were a horrible lie. Aubrey was right. He thought I’d rejected him.

  “You figured wrong.” I pressed my lips against his and rolled my hips slowly to massage his body with mine.

  He groaned low in his chest and slid one hand up my back to grab a handful of my hair. The other hand gripped my ass tightly as he lifted up from the seat and ground against me.

  The kiss deepened as we took turns trying to outdo each other. I sucked his tongue softly and ran my fingers through his hair as he squeezed my ass and used his tight grip on my hair to keep control of the kiss.

  I finally pulled back, panting softly. “If you don’t want to go slow, then I don’t. I just wanted this to be more than sex. I love you. I always have.”

  He slid his hand out of my hair, around my neck, and down my chest, squeezing my breasts softly as I pressed into his touch and moaned unashamed.

  “You love me?” He licked his lips and pulled me down for another long kiss, not letting me answer.

  Where I was terrified that he might have another panic attack, I had to trust in the fact that his were caused by the same thing that Aubrey’s used to be caused by. Internally beating herself up until she couldn’t find a way out of the darkness.

  “I want you, Lay.” He broke the kiss, murmuring against my lips as I rocked my hips and whimpered softly.

  “Then take me. I’ve always been yours, you big idiot.” I nipped at his lips and opened the door. “I’m not sure how many more ways I could have shown it.”

  He helped me out of the tr
uck and got out himself.

  “You’re going to have to spell this out tomorrow. I need to know all of these ways. I thought I was the only one with feelings between us.”

  We jogged up toward the apartment together as the snow fell all around us. A lightness inside of me spread from my chest to my arms and legs, making it easier to breathe.

  I’d told him. He hadn’t really told me that he loved me, but I was done. I’d manned up and finally told him. Aubrey would be proud.

  I laughed softly beside him as he fumbled with the keys. He glanced over at me with a boyish smile on his face.

  “What? You try getting it in the hole with your whole body shaking.”

  “Is this a foreshadowing of our night?”

  He laughed and stood up, handing me the keys and moving back. “Have at it, beautiful.”

  I bent over and quickly popped the key in the lock as his strong hands moved over my back to my hips. I pushed the door open and walked inside as electricity danced across my pleasure points. I’d wanted this night for as long as I could remember.

  “Come here.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward him. “I can’t take things slow with you, Lay. I’ve loved you since I was a boy. I need to go fast and hard for a long time.” He licked the side of my neck as I groaned. “I’ll go slowly a few years from now when you force me to, but not now. It’s been a slow fucking road up to this point.”

  “Don’t go slow,” I whispered roughly as he moved back and reached for the zipper of my jacket. He had that and my shirt off of me in a matter of seconds. I reached for his shirt and pulled it over his head before he picked me up and gripped the back of my neck, forcing me down for another long string of kisses.

  “Your bed or mine?” He wrapped his strong arms around my waist as I clung to him.

  “I don’t care.” I kissed the top of his head as he licked my breasts just below the top curve of my bra. “Just get us there.”

  “Mine is closer.” He moved back up, sucking and licking at my neck as I tried hard not to shake. Everything about him left me buzzing with white-hot need.

  “A condom,” I panted as he laid me down on the bed and ran his hands up my stomach and over my breasts. I arched my back and moaned loudly as he took a shaky breath.

  “Yeah. I have some in the bathroom. I’ll grab them.” He leaned down and kissed me once more before walking out of the room.

  I sat up and took a few quick breaths. “This shit is really happening.”

  Before I could freak out too much, he walked back into the room and held them up. “I got three. I’ll get more in the morning. This is good?”

  “Three?” I laughed nervously. “Yeah. That should be good.”

  “Take off your bra, Layla. I wanna see you.” He unbuttoned his pants as he watched me like a hawk.

  I reached back and worked on the clasp, watching him like we were teenagers seeing the other sex for the first time. I felt silly and far too needy for the night ahead, but it was Jayce Moore.

  I pulled my bra off my shoulders and tossed it to the side.

  He groaned. “Fuck, you’re beautiful. You’re so far beyond everything I imagined you to be.”

  He pulled his underwear off, and I reached for his cock, stroking it a few times as I kept my eyes on his.

  “I just want you to take your time with me. I want you to touch everything, kiss everywhere. Don’t leave a part of me unmarked by you, okay?” I moved to the edge of the bed and leaned over to take him in my mouth.

  He dropped the condoms and moaned loudly as his fingers slipped in my hair. “Anything you want, baby. I’m all yours. I always have been, Lay.”

  My turn to moan. I took my time, kissing and licking every inch of him until he pushed me back softly.

  “No more. I want to feel you wrapped around me. I need to.” He pushed at my shoulder, and I lay back as he worked on my jeans, pulling them off slowly. “Mmm, your panties are wet.”

  “They always are around you.” I reached for him as he leaned down and pressed his mouth over my panties. I cried out as his tongue flicked back and forth roughly. “Shit.”

  “Mmm, I’m going to enjoy taking my time down there.” He kissed me a few more times before pulling my panties off and crawling up on the bed with me.

  “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding.” I sat up and rubbed his chest softly as he worked the condom onto his thick shaft. “I didn’t mean that I didn’t want you.”

  “I’m sorry I misunderstood. No more talking about it.” He pressed his lips to mine and forced me back as he climbed on top of me and nestled himself between my thighs. “Fast and hard a few times, yeah?”

  I wrapped my arms tightly around him. “Absolutely. Get your first time in and then I want on top.”

  “Fuck, that’s hot.” He kissed me again and pressed forward, opening me up as we shared a long groan.

  I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him in deeper, pressing my heels into his ass. It had been way too long and no one could tell me that love and lust could easily be separated again. It was bullshit. Lust with love was an overwhelming pleasure.

  “God, you’re tight, Lay. I’m going to work that out of you, all right?” I could almost hear his cocky smile as he pressed his mouth to my ear and thrust hard, filling me up.

  I cried out and arched my back as pleasure shot through my stomach. “Please?”

  “Anything for you, baby.” He wrapped his arms around me and took fast and hard to a whole new level. It didn’t take more than a few minutes and I was thrashing below him in the hardest and longest orgasm I’d ever experienced.

  I screamed his name as he whispered all the naughty things he was going to do to me now that I was his. I couldn’t get a word out between my moans, so I gave up trying. We didn’t fuck and we didn’t make love, but whatever we did, I was addicted completely. It was something beautiful in between where passion forced love into submission. I didn’t know that kind of pleasure existed.

  “I’m gonna come, Lay.” He pressed his elbows to the bed beside my head and kissed me softly a few times. “Tell me again that you love me.”

  “So much.” My heart felt like it might burst in my chest. “I love you so much. I have since we met.”

  He groaned softly and lay down, cradling me as he rolled his hips and pressed his mouth against my ear. The sound of him drawing pleasure from my body left my skin covered in chill bumps. “I love you too.”

  I rubbed his back as he slowed down a little. “This night ended so much better than I thought it would.”

  “Take it slow?” He moved back up to his elbows and scoffed at me. “That’s code for ‘I’m not interested.’”

  I rolled my eyes and pushed at his chest. “In stupid guy talk. I want on top. My turn. I’ll show you slow.”

  “Fuck yes. Please.” He rolled onto his back and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as I sat up. “I’m the luckiest bastard alive.”

  “You have been a bastard lately.” I moved off of him and grabbed another condom. “Good thing I know the softy underneath all that crap.”

  “Softy?” He chuckled and grabbed me, pressing me to the bed on my stomach as he crawled on top of me. “I’m not really that soft. It was just a ploy.”

  I groaned and rubbed my ass along his stomach. “It worked. Stop playing and fuck me again.”

  “You’re going to be the death of me, you bad girl.”

  “Your girl,” I moaned against the bed as he gripped my hips tightly.

  He left me speechless as he fulfilled every wicked fantasy I had that night.

  I wasn’t sure where we were going from there, but one thing I knew for sure, I was his, wherever the road led.

  Chapter 21

  Jayce

  The last week had been absolute bliss. The busyness of school and trying to get into the groove of just playing baseball had been overshadowed completely by the newness of my relationship with Layla.

  I knew she was the right girl for me,
but for some stupid reason, I’d fought against it half our lives.

  I glanced up from home plate and smiled at her as she sat in the stands at our first game of the season. I’d pitched like a pro for the first six innings. We were up three runs and the bases were loaded.

  “Smack it out of the park, Jayce!” She cupped her hands over her mouth as she yelled from the stands. The rest of my friends were piled up beside her, drinking beer and having far too much fun. Warmth raced through me, healing parts of me I didn’t know needed to be healed.

  I’d never be alone. The crowd of people chanting my name reminded me of that as I turned and lifted the bat. Grand slam time. A smile tugged at my lips as I exhaled slowly and nodded to the pitcher.

  The ball flew toward me at breakneck speed, but it felt right. It was my pitch. I twisted and swung the bat with all of my might. The sound of the bat connecting with the ball sent relief racing through me. I swung the bat and took off for first base, my heart racing and adrenaline pumping.

  I’d made the right decision to just focus on baseball. I’d grown stronger in my conviction over the last week about all of it. Mostly because of Layla constantly confirming and supporting me.

  “Grand slam, kid. Run the bases.” Our assistant coach popped my butt as I nodded and continued around the bases.

  The stands were going nuts like we’d just won the game, and maybe we had. I was a little more cautious about celebrating so early, but I couldn’t help but chuckle as I glanced up to see my friends dancing and raising hell in the stands. My victory was theirs as well.

  “Way to go, baby!” Layla bounced on her feet, waving her hands around.

  “All for you.” I blew her a kiss and jogged back to the dugout.

  “No getting sappy, lover boy. We still got three innings and this team is known for coming back strong.” Coach McMillian gave me a stern look as I pulled off my helmet and dropped down on a bench in the dugout.