by Toni Aleo
“Fall into place? What do you mean?”
His brows come together as he holds me close. “That my ma will leave us be and that you won’t worry about cooking your own dinner or mine. You’ll embrace this because this is what we are.”
“You don’t want more?”
“More? No,” he says, laughing. “I don’t want to do laundry or yard work. I have you and the distillery and one day, our children. Let our staff be responsible for all that mundane stuff.”
“Wow,” I say, shaking my head and backing out of his embrace.
Reaching for my jacket, I put it on as he asks, “Wow, what?”
Looking back at his confused face, I hate that I think what I do, but how can I not?
“This is the first time I’ve ever thought of you to be a snob.”
He looks at me like I’ve hit him. “A snob?”
“Yeah. Mundane stuff? That’s all I did when I was growing up, caring for my sick mother. It isn’t mundane. It’s what adults do!”
His confusion leaves his beautiful face, and compassion replaces it as he nods. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”
I shake my head, anger still coursing through my body. “It’s fine. Let’s go, your mom and dad are waiting.”
I go to leave, but he stops me, wrapping his arm around my waist and cupping my face so that look at him. “Declan—” I say, but before I can finish my sentence, he is shaking his head.
“Amberlyn, it isn’t fine. I can tell you are still upset, and please allow me to apologize.”
“I accept your apology,” I say, and I do, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not still upset over it.
“Sure ya do, but let me explain,” he says, still not letting me go. Reluctantly, I look up at him, and I know he sees the fire in my eyes. It isn’t okay what he said. Setting me with a look, he goes on, “This is how I was brought up. A silver spoon in my mouth, and thankfully, I don’t have to live any other way. If ya want to do dinner, fine, I’ll make arrangements for you to cook when ya want to. Want to do the laundry? I’ll have a washer and dryer put up here. Anything you want, you tell me and I’ll make happen.”
He is too good to me, but he isn’t listening to me. That’s not what I want. I mean, yeah it is, but I want more. “I want our own place. Somewhere where we can be alone and not worry about someone waiting on us hand and foot. Or your mother walking in on us.”
I know he doesn’t want that. I can see it in his eyes, but he nods his head anyway. “I’ve been here my own life. I had plans to carry ya over that threshold, to bring our babies home here and to grow old here. Me and you.”
“I can understand that, and I want those things too, minus this house.”
I can see the gears moving in his head as his eyes stay trained on mine. Letting out a long breath, he asks, “Can you give me till the wedding? If by then you still want that, then I’ll make the arrangements.”
That is only two months away.
Can I last that long? Maybe I’ll start to like it. This way he lives. Or, I’ll drive myself completely insane. I know I will put up with it because I love him.
“Yeah, I can wait.”
“Grand, love, thank you. C’mere,” he says, bringing me to him for a long, lusty kiss. The issue is still there, like a big fat elephant in the room, but at least we’ve come to a compromise.
One I can live with.
Once in the car—which is basically a limo—I lean on Declan’s arm as we drive through the country to the school that is outside of Mayo. It’s almost an hour away, and I am dreading the trip. I’m excited to get there, but being stuck in the car with Mrs. O’Callaghan means that I will not get a word in edgewise. I guess I could nap, but as soon as I close my eyes, she starts to talk to me.
“Amberlyn, honey, did you approve the seating chart?”
Opening my eyes, I look at Declan, confused. “Did we do that?”
He smiles as he nods. “Yeah, Ma, we did.”
“Grand,” she says with a nod, but then she lets out a sigh. “I hate that we have to do this today. I have my whole day planned doing wedding things.”
“I’m sure the wedding won’t suffer,” I say with a smile. “We will all be there, bells and whistles, no matter what. These kids won’t have school supplies without our help.”
An awkward silence falls as Lena nods. “She’s right, Ma, the wedding isn’t tomorrow. Let’s enjoy helpin’ the community, yeah?”
Folding her hands, Mrs. O’Callaghan makes a face like something stinks and nods. “Yeah, sure.”
Declan looks over at me and kisses my nose. “Not mad still, are ya?” he asks in a whisper.
I shake my head. “No, not at all.”
“Grand.”
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
I want to roll my eyes, scream at her to stay out of our business, but I know that would be frowned upon. Plus Declan’s dad still scares me, and he is staring at me as Declan shakes his head.
“No, Ma. Amberlyn isn’t used to having everything done for her. It’s all an adjustment.”
“It is,” Mr. O’Callaghan says with a smile. “Which is why we usually only marry people like us.”
That was rude, right? I feel like that was rude. Looking at Declan in disbelief, I see he is rolling his eyes. “And most of the time, they aren’t really happy, yeah?”
I notice Lena look away from Micah, biting her lips as his parents glare.
“I’m marrying for love. True, perfect love. She’ll adjust,” Declan says, wrapping an arm around me.
“I didn’t mean to offend you, son,” his father backtracks, but Declan shakes his head.
“But ya did and you probably offended her. Let’s drop it, yes? This is supposed to be a good day of helping people who don’t have the advantages we do.”
That shuts everyone up, and I am impressed with how Declan holds himself. He was so shy before, but now, he is so noble. I’ve enjoyed watching him grow over the last couple months, and I like to think I’ve helped get him to the man he is.
My future husband.
As everyone talks about whatever they do, Declan and I cuddle into each other, playing with each other’s fingers and just enjoying being near each other. It never gets old, the feeling of him near me. I crave it, the nearness of him, making me feel complete. It’s a beautiful feeling, and I know it’s one that my mother would want me to have.
Smiling, I realize something. “I haven’t had that dream of my mom in a while,” I whisper to him and he nods.
“I know. I don’t go to sleep until I know you are asleep, not dreaming. You’ve been quiet.”
“So you stalk my sleep, weirdo,” I tease and he laughs.
“I don’t want you to sleep poorly. I worry, ya know.”
“I know; it’s sweet,” I say, kissing him. “But yeah, I miss her.”
He gathers me in his arms, kissing my jaw. “I know, I’m sorry. I wish I could make it better.”
“Me too,” I admit. “But I doubt anything can.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, kissing me again.
“But thank you for trying,” I add quickly and he smiles.
“Always, mo stór, always.”
When we arrive at the school, I am bouncing in my seat against Declan. I am so excited to get out and do this. I love kids, and knowing that I am helping make sure they have a good school year is very rewarding. Hopping out of the car first, I grin as a very tall blond-headed lady comes toward us, matching my grin. She is huge, almost the same height as Declan, and soon I’m realizing her grin isn’t for me, but for him.
“Mr. and Mrs. O’Callaghan, so good to have you again,” she says in her thick Irish brogue. We all shake hands, and Declan introduces me after giving her a tight hug.
“Is this your bride-to-be?” she asks with a grin.
Declan grins. “It is. Amberlyn, this is my friend Amy. We grew up together.”
She sends me a full grin. “We did. I’ve been waitin’ years fo
r Dec to get married. Too bad he ain’t my type, huh?”
They both laugh at this, and I feel as if it is an inside joke. They have a very easy demeanor to them; it’s refreshing to see Declan like that with someone else other than me. I’m surprised I don’t feel the least bit jealous either since Amy is a very pretty girl. Huge, but pretty.
I smile as I hold my hand out, taking hers. “It’s wonderful to meet you. I’m excited to marry him.”
“I think ya both are!” she says, giving me a side hug, and I don’t pull away. She’s very easy to like. “Okay, well, let’s go. The kids are excited for all their new stuff.”
“I am excited too,” I exclaim, but I notice that other than Declan, everyone else does not look very excited.
That soon changes once we get inside with all the book bags. Kids are everywhere, and it’s so much fun passing the bags out to watch them tear them open to see what’s inside. For the first time, I see a true smile on Mr. and Mrs. O’Callaghan’s faces as they suit the kids up and listen as they talk of whatever they are thinking of. It’s a lot of fun and I can’t contain my excitement. Lying on the floor with three kindergarteners, I feel so amazing. This is what I want to do. I want to be a teacher. While a part of me wants to work with high school kids, it would be just as great to work with these sweet-faced little kiddos.
Either way, I want to teach, and I want to have a whole bunch of my own kids. I was an only child because my mom and dad were worried they couldn’t afford me, so why would they have more? It was a tough decision, they told me, because they loved having me so much, but I respect their decision. Plus, I enjoyed being spoiled by my parents, though I did miss having a sister or brother. Thankfully, I have Fiona now, but I plan on having a bunch, at least two, maybe four, tops.
Looking across the room, I find Declan on a play couch with a tea hat on as two little girls clank their teacups with his. He has this big, beautiful grin on his face as he plays animatedly with the sweet girls. As he meets my gaze, his grin grows surprisingly large and I smile. He is going to be a great dad. I chose well. When I blow him a kiss, the little kids I’m lying with all let out groans of disgust before we all dissolve in laughter. And soon I’m rolling on the floor like I am a five-year-old too.
Soon it’s time to go to another classroom, and for the next two hours, we go to each classroom, playing and visiting with each class. It’s so much fun, and at one point, I have to push my emotions down to keep from crying. All the kids are obviously not from money or else we wouldn’t be here, but I didn’t realize how bad off they are until now. Some don’t even have matching shoes on or clothes. I want to take them all home, but I’m sure that couldn’t happen. But there has to be something more we can do.
“We should do a clothing drive next,” I say to Declan as we head to the next classroom. “Or bring jackets and shoes. I can order a whole bunch from Target and Walmart back in the states.”
He nods. “Yeah, we will set it up.”
“That can cost a lot,” Mr. O’Callaghan says and I nod.
“Maybe, but I’m sure we can make it happen.”
“Yeah, maybe we can use the money from your pub job, yeah?” he says, and I don’t miss the acid in his voice.
Setting him with a look, I cross my arms as I say, “Yeah, I have no problem using my own money for it.”
“We’ll talk later, yeah?” Declan says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
I smile sweetly at him, but I don’t miss the look of annoyance his dad sends me as we reach the next room. While I want to get on the floor and play, Amy stops me at the door with a friendly grin.
“You are really great with kids,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning against the door jamb as Declan and his family pass out book bags. “Declan chose well in ya.”
“Thank you.”
“You’ll make a great ma.”
“I hope to,” I say, my cheeks burning a bit. “I also want to be a teacher though.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, maybe high school, teach literature or something along those lines. I’d love to be a librarian, read all day to the kids.”
She smiles as she nods. “I wish we had that here.”
Whipping my head to her, my brows come up. “What do you mean? You don’t have a library here?”
She shakes her head. “No, this school is new. They just built it, but they ran out of money along the way. They had to choose between the library and a gym. They went with a gym and said to put books in each classroom.”
“You’re kidding me,” I say, completely stunned. “Can they even do that?”
She shrugs. “I guess so since they did. Someone said that they’ll come back once the funds are raised, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
“That’s insane.”
“It is,” she agrees. “But that’s the age we live in. Money rules everything. I see our after-school activities going once we run out of funding for the teachers or equipment. It’s a hard business, this education. The kids you wanna help, you can’t, and they get lost in the system, when all they need is some love and help along the way. It’s heartbreaking, but at the same time, there are times I can help and it works, ya know?” With a determined nod, she says, “We’ll get our library, and then maybe we can hire ya as our librarian, yeah?”
I smile, my heart breaking for everyone in this school. “I would be honored to.”
“That is if they let ya out of the estate to do more than just make babies and be Declan’s arm candy.”
I don’t think she means to offend me, but I suspect my face gives me away. She quickly backtracks, saying, “That came off a bit rude. I didn’t mean to offend ya.”
“No, it’s fine. Apparently everyone has the same idea of what I am going to do once Declan and I are married, but the truth is, it isn’t like that. He is very sweet and cares what I want. We decide together what we will do. It’s really great, and I know he’d support me to work as a librarian.”
She nods as she looks across the room, smiling when her gaze settles on Declan. “He really is,” she agrees in almost a whisper. Looking back at me, she says, “I came out to him first. He thought I was in love with him, but really, I wanted to be like him. He was strong, popular, and a great guy all around. When he tried to kiss me once, I quickly told him I liked girls and wanted to be his mate instead of his girl. It was funny; we laugh now, but then, it was scary. He has cared for me no matter what, even when my family wasn’t supportive or even his.” She clears her throat, and I can’t believe how hard my heart is pounding in my chest for this woman I’ve just met. “So yeah, I get what ya mean and know that you’re right. He would support ya no matter what. The thing ya might have an issue with is that family of his.”
Noticing where she is looking, I nod. “Yeah, they’ve been somewhat of a problem, but we are considering getting our own place.”
When she laughs, I look at her, surprised. “He isn’t going to leave that house. He was born there, he’s gonna die there with his bride and kids living there too.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “So you’re saying I’m stuck.”
“I mean, he loves ya, and he never expected to find someone he would love when he got married. He was surrounded by so many fake birds, ones out for his money, and now that he has found someone who loves him for him, he might change his ideas a bit. But I wouldn’t hold yer breath.”
“That does worry me because I can’t stand it there.”
She laughs. “Who could, but them? Even Micah doesn’t like it there. Every chance he gets to leave, he does, but then Lena doesn’t really love him neither. She puts on a good front, but he isn’t what her heart wants. She wanted the wanker you’re testifying against.”
Again I whip my head toward her in complete and utter shock. “What?”
“Oh yeah, she loved him something insane, but once he raped her—and he did it because that girl was saving herself for marriage and he couldn’t take it—
it all went downhill. Ya don’t come back from the person ya first love, especially when they hurt ya the way Casey did. He not only raped her, but he broke her heart by not being the man she thought he was.”
“Oh my gosh,” I say, shaking my head as I watch Lena and Micah interact.
“But she’ll marry him because it’s what her parents think is right, and she’ll grow to love him. Hell, she may by now, but I know when she first agreed to marry him, she didn’t.”
“Wow,” I say, still in disbelief. “She’s such a sweet girl.”
“Yeah, and Micah is twenty times the man that Casey is. Which, by the way, don’t hold back. Make sure that wanker stays locked up, yeah?”
Meeting her gaze again, I bite the inside of my cheek. I want Casey to pay for his crimes, and I’ve already decided he will, but all I keep seeing is his ma crippled in her bed, thanking me and Aunt Shelia over and over again for paying for her housing. I didn’t tell her who I was, but when I walked out, I considered not testifying against Casey so he could be there for his mom. But then, how is that fair? He has to pay for his mistakes. He does. That’s all there is to it.
“Yeah, he will,” I say as Declan comes toward me, smiling as he wraps his arm around me.
“Gossiping with my lady, yeah, Amy?”
She laughs as she waves him off. “I don’t gossip.”
He laughs along with her. “Ya daft cow! Don’t lie to my face.”
That has them laughing harder as I stand there completely confused since being called a cow isn’t very nice, but I chuckle along, not to be left out.
“Whatever. Hush you,” she says, shaking her head. “But for real. I like her a lot.”
Declan grins as he holds me close. “She’s amazing, yeah?”
“Perfect for ya.”
We share a smile, and I can see the love shining in his eyes. He really is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Soon it’s time to leave, and as we hug Amy, I’m sad to go. I hug her once more as she says, “When I get that library, I’ll be calling ya.”