“Thank you for being honest,” Ellie said. Sophie had taken hold of his finger and was chattering away to it as if she had lots to tell her pa’s finger. It dug into Ellie’s heart and caused an ache so strong that Ellie knew right then that she was here to help mend this relationship. Thank You, Lord. The prayer filled her and she smiled.
“You do love Sophie, Mathew. You just have to make peace with the past and open your heart to her.”
He didn’t say anything, though his eyes held a light she hadn’t seen before.
“Tell me more of your life,” he said, his eyes searching hers, digging deep. “And don’t forget to tell me about this roping you’ve been hiding behind those frilly clothes.”
No one had ever asked her to talk of her life. Feeling suddenly lighthearted, she chuckled. “You are really worried about my britches. You see, my aunt was forced to find work after my uncle died. She opened a seamstress shop in the front parlor of our home, and I was trained to help her at an early age. I started working in the shop almost before I could walk, picking up scraps of material and tidying up. And later I was taught to sew. Aunt Millicent and the ladies were overly fond of frills and ruffles and an overabundance of petticoats. I hated every minute of it, I’m sorry to say. Cooped up in that house, forever reminded that I was the reason my aunt had to work to live. Every spare minute I could find I would escape to this small ranch not too far from town. Old Mister Clute owned it and he was getting up in age. He caught me trying to learn to ride one of his horses one day and took a shine to me. He wasn’t much for words, but he taught me to rope and to ride. I’d even help him with his roundups because he was getting too old to get around.”
“Well, I’ll be,” Mathew said, sitting back in shock.
“It’s true. See, he’d lost his son in the war. After that he closed himself off from the world. These here are his son’s clothes. He’d saved them in a trunk and he gave them to me. Those bothersome skirts were constantly in my way and he knew it. They’d get dirty too, and Aunt Millicent was getting furious about me disappearing and coming back filthy. It just made sense and helped keep our secret from her. She would have put a stop to my shenanigans if she’d known exactly what I was doing. Which she did when the truth came out three months ago.”
Mathew leaned forward, looking much steadier than he had. “What happened when she found out? And how?”
“Mister Clute died.” Sadness hit her. He’d been as close to a friend as she’d ever had. “His brother came and took over the ranch. When I asked him if I could help him out, he laughed at me and went straightaway and told Aunt Millicent. As you can imagine, she was horrified that I’d been going behind her back, and especially that I would wear pants. She informed me that it was time for me to find my own way in life and stop embarrassing her. That said, she laid the Hitching Post on the table in front of me and told me to find a husband, preferably one that didn’t live in Fort Worth.”
“So it was your aunt’s wish,” Mathew said, clearly taken aback. “You didn’t want this?”
Ellie shook her head. “Well, I was in shock at first. After a few minutes, I opened up the catalogue and immediately saw your ad. My heart latched onto your words as if you had written them directly to me. When I read how Sophie had lost her mama at birth, I felt drawn to her. I felt compelled by God to come so she would grow up feeling loved and wanted.”
“Something you never felt,” he said gently.
The compassion in his voice caused her throat to knot up with emotion. She could only nod.
“I’m sorry you went through all of that.” Mathew covered her hand with his, then stared at their hands while tracing his thumb slowly over her wrist. He swallowed hard, as if he too had a knot in his throat. After a moment he lifted sincere eyes to hers. “Thank you for opening my eyes to the injustice I was doing to my daughter. Beth wouldn’t have wanted me to give her baby any less than the love she would have lavished on her had she been alive.” He smiled. “She would have liked you.”
Joy flooded Ellie’s heart. “I’m so glad. And I hope you will want to tell Sophie of her mother when she is old enough. It will do her a world of good to know that her mother loved her.”
They stared at each other for the longest moment, and though there was so much between them that was confusing and unfinished, this was ground to build on. Sophie deserved it.
“Mathew,” she said, drawn to go on. “I need to tell you that I’m glad to be here. But I’m giving you fair warning that I just know God has a plan for my life. The Bible says He will give me the delights of my heart. And I’ve been holding on to that promise ever since I read your ad. It sustained me all the way here during that long stagecoach ride. And I’m not giving up on it now.”
Mathew patted her hand like a brother and drew it away. Feeling him withdrawing emotionally, she stood, hoping she hadn’t gone too far again. She wanted everything. Love, children, forever . . . and she knew he could see it in her eyes.
“How about some stew?” she said, breaking the connection. “It will help you feel better.” She placed his daughter in his arms to anchor him to the chair since he seemed steady enough to stay upright now. “Love on your daughter for a few minutes while I get the meal ready. It will do you both a world of good.”
“I AIN’T NEVER SEEN NOTHIN’ LIKE IT,” LEM SAID, A week after Mathew’s accident.
“What’s that, Lem?” Mathew asked. They were searching for a couple of missing calves that Mathew hoped had just wandered off from their mothers. He was now certain he had rustlers systematically picking off his herd and he was going to have to put his attention to catching them soon.
“Maggie’s got the notion to have a party. Says Ellie needs to be introduced around. And that’s all fine and dandy to me, but you ain’t never seen the likes of the work that thar woman’s got me doin’. Do this, Lem, do that. No, you ain’t done it right—do it this a-way. I’m right fond of you and your new wife, but if this keeps up, I ain’t gonna be fond of my own much longer.”
Mathew chuckled despite his wandering thoughts. Which kept going to Ellie as they had all week. His heart had cracked a little while Ellie told him about her past that night sitting at the kitchen table. How could her aunt be so cruel? So heartless? And how had Ellie survived it?
“Maggie comin’ over the other day was a good thing,” Mathew said. “Ellie really enjoyed it.”
Lem grinned. “Maggie tried to put some of my britches on soon as we got home.” He laughed. “You shoulda seen her. She looked like she’d been squeezed into a sausage skin.”
Mathew chuckled, pretty sure Lem would be in a heap of trouble if Maggie knew he’d just told him that. “You better watch out,” he warned.
Lem hiked a bushy brow. “I told her I’d buy her a bigger pair if she wanted them, long as she’d start mucking out the stalls.”
That got a hoot out of Mathew. “You said that and you’re still walking around?”
“I can run faster than her with them bad knees of hers. And that there is the only reason—” He spat a stream of tobacco. “I’ll tell ya that for sure. I hear Ellie’s done taken over up at the house.”
“She’s taken over the chickens and milking the cow. And feeding the calves too. Her and Prudence have become fast friends. I’m telling you there was no holding her back once she’d yanked on those britches.”
“Maggie said she was riding some too.”
“Yup. She’s riding some of the gentler stock I’ve broke, helping soften them up some more so they don’t go wild on me again. I worry, but she’s a good rider, I have to admit. Tell you the truth, she was born to be a rancher’s wife. If it wasn’t for Sophie, she’d be out here helping us right now.”
“You told her ’bout the rustlers, though, right?”
“That’s the only thing keeping her and Sophie from being out here. For Sophie’s sake she’s staying close to the house. She wants me to teach her to shoot a gun.”
“Look out, ever’body,” Le
m said, grinning widely.
“Yeah, that’s what I said.”
Lem sobered and he shook his head. “Mathew, I ain’t never heard of such as that aunt of Ellie’s.”
So Ellie had confided her past to Maggie when she’d come for a visit, Mathew realized. He suspected Ellie had needed a woman to talk to and Maggie was the best.
“There are small-minded people in this world,” he said, shaking his head. “Ellie tries to make something good out of the injustice that was done her.” Her attitude made him ashamed of the hard time he’d given her when she got off the stage holding her Bible.
He wiped the sweat from his brow. They were heading down a ravine, their horses carefully picking their steps. “I’ve got to confess, Lem. This is eating at me . . . I’ve known the love of my parents, and of Beth. Ellie hasn’t known the love of anyone. She was barely tolerated by her aunt and then kicked out first chance the old bat got.”
Lem looked over his shoulder, having moved in front on the narrow trail. “The two of you aren’t—”
“I can’t, Lem. It’s just not in me.” He had to admit sleeping on the lumpy mattress in the barn was getting old, especially when he thought about Ellie with her hair hanging loose and the feel of her soft lips against his—he stopped his thoughts in their tracks. No sense going down that road. Ellie had made it extremely clear she’d like more from their marriage, that she wanted children. But when he’d married her he’d vowed to protect her, and he aimed to do just that. Even if that meant protecting her from himself. They both knew from experience what could happen in childbirth and it wasn’t going to happen to Ellie because of him.
Lem’s eyes narrowed. “Boy, you got more room in that stubborn heart of your’n. All you got to do is open up.”
There was more involved than that now, and Mathew knew it. He didn’t want anything to happen to Ellie. He couldn’t stand to think of it.
“Look-a-there,” Lem hooted, spotting a calf caught in a bramble.
Mathew was relieved to have something to distract Lem from the subject at hand. Dismounting, they went to untangle the little fella.
It hit Mathew hard, knowing even his cows had him looking out for them. Caring for them. Ellie hadn’t even had that.
The calf bawled as Mathew tore the brambles off of it.
Looking into the young calf’s big brown eyes, Mathew’s stomach felt ill thinking of Ellie as a child. “Everyone should have someone looking out for them,” he said more to himself than to Lem. He lifted his gaze to his friend, who held the animal still. “This calf has us. Ellie deserved someone looking out for her—”
“She’s got you,” Lem said, puzzlement in his eyes.
“Yeah, and she’d look me square in the face and tell me God was looking out for her. But God wasn’t looking out for Beth.”
Lem looked sorrowful. “Son, you got to let that go. God’s got mysterious ways. Everyone is appointed a time to die when they are still in the womb. That ain’t got nothin’ to do with you.”
Mathew tore away the stickered vines. “God forsook Beth, sweet Beth. And left her baby motherless.” Left him with a gaping hole in his heart out here in the middle of the wilderness where they’d planned to build a life together.
Ellie’s face, so brave in the face of everything he’d seen thrown her way, blurred his vision. He pulled the calf free and pulled it into his arms.
“Let it go, I’m tellin’ you. Quit thinking about what you ain’t got and think about what you have.”
“Lem, it’s not that easy. Look, I’m gonna head on home. We’ll see y’all at the party. Ellie is so excited about it.”
“Maybe you should do some prayin’ on the ride home.”
Instead of responding, Mathew hoisted the calf in front of the saddle, then climbed up behind it. “Tell Maggie thanks, we’ll see you there in a few hours,” he said as he tugged on the reins, turning his horse around and urging him to a quick pace. It was time to get home.
The sun was hanging low on the horizon as they headed toward Lem and Maggie’s late that afternoon. “Do you think there will be a lot of people there?” Ellie asked, barely able to contain her excitement.
“Probably all of Madison, Brazos, and Leon County.”
“Really?” Ellie gasped, bouncing Sophie on her lap as the buckboard rolled along the bumpy road. Mathew chuckled, sliding his warm gaze her way, teasing her. That look sent her heart fluttering. She’d learned to control her temper somewhat and take her time where Mathew was concerned.
In her rush to have it all and not be patient with the Lord’s plan, Ellie had nearly messed up everything.
No, she was relying on God to help her not overwhelm Mathew.
She’d first wondered why a man like him would need to send off for a mail-order bride. Well, no maybes about it, he absolutely had a broken heart.
He’d loved Beth as Ellie could only dream of being loved. He’d said he couldn’t give his heart to Ellie, and now she understood. When you loved someone like that and lost as he had . . . how could you ever risk opening up like that again? Or even have any love left to give after having felt so deeply?
No, Ellie could only pray that she could show Mathew the depth of her own love for him and that at some point he might be able to share enough affection toward her that their marriage could become one of contentment. Maybe she could love him enough for both of them.
“I can’t believe they are having a party for us,” she said. Imagining the evening ahead, she smiled happily at Mathew. He chuckled. The husky sound of it and the sparkle in his eyes had her breathless and thinking of nothing but the moment.
“You deserve it,” he said, touching her hand and sending her heart into a gallop.
“Paudy fo us,” Sophie said, looking expectantly from Ellie to Mathew. She’d begun forming short sentences within the last few days and sometimes they were understandable. Ellie laughed in delight.
“Yes indeed, baby girl. A paudy for us.”
There were buggies and wagons all over the place as they drove into the yard. Maggie had set up the party in the barn and the doors were flung open wide to let the breeze in. Mathew took Sophie and then helped Ellie from the wagon. She smoothed the skirt of the yellow calico dress with the simple lace collar. Her excitement overshadowed any and all nerves.
“You look lovely this evening, Ellie,” Mathew said.
Ellie’s gaze swung to him—she wasn’t quite sure how to respond to his compliment. A thank-you would be a nice start. His eyes were warm with appreciation. Ellie heaved in a very unladylike breath. “Thank you. I . . . I removed some of the ruffles and that awful thick petticoat—” She clamped her mouth shut, not comfortable discussing undergarments with him. Even if he was her husband.
His rich chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. “It suits you much better this way.” He held out his arm. “May I have the pleasure, ma’am?”
Ellie took his arm and they walked together toward the festivities.
“Look who is here,” Maggie exclaimed as they stepped inside the large barn.
Ellie was so happy to see her new friend and hugged her hard. “This is wonderful. You’ve gone to so much trouble, though. You shouldn’t have.”
“I ain’t done nothin’ I wasn’t happy to do. Now come on in here and meet your neighbors. And tell me how this handsome cowboy of yours is treating you.” She winked at Mathew as she took Sophie from him. Mathew shook his head and grinned.
“Well, land’s sakes! That’s a smile if I ever saw one, and I didn’t have to draw it out of you like thick molasses.” She looked at Ellie and beamed. “You done good, girl. Real good. Now come on, you two. We got folks to meet and mingle with, and then there’s gonna be hours of dancing. Lem—Lem!” she yelled, motioning to Lem, who was deep in conversation with several other men. “Get yourself over here and greet Ellie.”
Ellie spent a delightful hour meeting people who were happy to meet her. There were several younger women, new brides themselves, who l
ived out on surrounding ranches like she did. Though there was distance between them, it was nice knowing she had females she could hopefully one day call friends rather than simply neighbors.
Soon the music began to play. Cute little man that Lem was, with his barrel chest and short legs, he played a fierce fiddle. Ellie found herself standing beside the punch bowl tapping her toes to the music. Mathew had been hovering close to her side for most of the first hour, even putting his hand on the small of her back as she was being introduced around. Ellie couldn’t help but feel proud that this handsome man was hers and that he seemed more than pleased to call her his.
When she and a group of younger ladies began comparing the progression of their babies, Mathew excused himself and headed over to talk with the men.
She watched as he approached and the others slapped him on the back in what appeared to be congratulations, so many times that she was certain he would have bruises by morning.
When the music started, Mary, Elizabeth, and Rebecca had all hurried to pull their husbands onto the dance floor. Ellie eased to the side of the refreshment table, out of the way as she sipped her punch and watched, memorizing the steps as couples twirled around the center of the barn. Dancing had always looked so fun.
Mathew was deep in conversation with two men outside beside the front doors. Ellie wondered what they were talking about. Sophie played over in the corner with several of the other babies as a group of older women and young girls watched over them. Maggie had insisted that Ellie have a good time and not worry about Sophie. She was in good hands.
“You should be dancing,” Mathew said, coming up behind her, leaning close to her ear.
Ellie’s heart jumped inside her chest. “No.” She was so happy he was here to stand beside her. “I don’t dance. But it’s lovely to watch and I love the music. Lem and the band play wonderfully.”
She turned her head, looking over her shoulder at Mathew. He remained behind her, bent slightly, staring into her eyes. His warm breath on her skin sent a shiver through her.
Margaret Brownley, Robin Lee Hatcher, Mary Connealy, Debra Clopton Page 13