by Tiki Kos
I couldn’t help but stare at the ground beef on the counter top.
The sides of my mouth salivated.
I could smell the sweet tenderness.
I knew exactly what my body needed.
I dove my fingers through the clear plastic wrapping, into the raw meat. I filled my hand entirely, and shoved the beef into my mouth. Then, another scoop. This tasted a hundred times better than the sausages. It was so moist and fresh. I’d eaten nearly half of it when the doorbell rang. I looked down at my bloodied hands. Little wiggles of meat hung between my fingers like worms trying to escape the dirt.
Oh my god, what the hell was I thinking?
My stomach tightened as I ran towards the kitchen sink. I flipped the hot water on, poured a handful of soap onto my hands and scrubbed the bits of meat away. I tried to take a deep breath, but every time I did, a wave of raw meat curled my stomach. The taste of bile rose up from my throat.
Don’t throw up.
It was going to be okay.
I must just be getting sick.
That’s all.
There had to be a reasonable explanation for eating raw meat, right? Japanese people ate raw fish all the time.
The doorbell rang again.
“J-j-just a minute,” I yelled. “I’ll be right there.”
I drank two glasses of water in record time. My feet twisted towards the door and I ran as fast as I could.
A man stood outside. He was wearing a brown leather winter jacket, dark jeans and a red lumberjack hat that hugged his copper beard. Around his neck was a gold chain that hung a glowing green orb surrounded by golden leaves.
“Hello, are yer Sunny Armstrong?” The man had a thick Irish accent.
His eyes were a weird shade of green. I wanted to say emerald, but they were darker, with specks of light brown or gold. For a second, I thought the gold swirled around the iris like a little contained storm, but when I blinked again, the colors stayed put.
“Yes, I am.” I gulped. I wondered if he thought it was weird that was I staring so intensely into his eyes.
“I’m Detective Oisin Martin. May I have a moment of yer time?” He smiled, pulled out a black wallet from his jacket pocket, and flipped me a glance of his Riverview badge.
“Of course. Please come inside.” I pushed the door open further, letting the cool air inside the house.
I looked around the living room, and my cheeks burned. I really didn’t want anyone to see the state the house was in. For a few heart beats, I wished I’d just caved in and cleaned it earlier.
“Sorry about the disgusting disaster. My mom and her friends had this stupid party last night and left it like this.”
He barely glanced towards the empty bottles, focusing on me.
“It’s no problem, miss.”
“Why don’t we just go into the kitchen?”
Oisin nodded and followed closely behind me.
“I’m here about yer father. From what I understand, you were with him when he was killed.”
“Right. I was.”
“Can you tell me why?”
“Where do I start? I guess my dad and I were going to the cabin.”
“For what reason?”
“We were just going to get some papers and head to Riverview.”
“Do you know why he was leavin’ here?”
I shrugged. “Not all the reasons, but I knew Mom was causing problems for him and he was sick of it.”
“He said she’s taking her role in the Disciples more serious. Whut does she do for them?”
“She owns a bar. That’s all I know.”
Oisin hummed, pulled out his phone and began to type.
“Did you know your father ‘ad an appointment with the Riverview PD this afternoon?”
“No. Why?”
“He ‘ad some information he wanted to share about the Paganos in exchange for protective services.”
“Dad was going to snitch? Why are you telling me this? Are you even allowed to?”
Oisin nodded. “Yer father wanted to stop these people an’ protect you. I made him a promise if anythin’ should happen to him, I wud ‘elp you.”
He pulled out the wallet and handed me a navy blue card. Mary’s B&B and Oddity Museum. “You’ll be safe ‘ere. Your father made all the arrangements.”
“That’s great, but what about the wolves? Are you going to do anything about them?”
“What wolves?”
“The ones that killed and ate parts of him. The ones that attacked me.”
“Sunny, you need to listen to me very carefully. The wolves are—”
The front door swung open, crashing into the wall with a bang. Oisin and I stopped talking as Caleb, Ryan’s beefier and more attractive brother, walked into the house. His black hair was grown out, shaven on the sides and slicked back. He was wearing a white muscle shirt underneath his black Disciple leather jacket. In his hand, he held a wooden baseball bat. There were notches in the bottom, and the top of the bat was stained dark brown, or maybe red. I didn’t really want to get close enough to find out what color it actually was.
“W-w-what are you doing here, Caleb?”
He lifted the bat above his shoulder and strolled towards us. His muscular chest was puffed out.
“You need to leave this house,” his deep voice growled at Oisin. “You don’t belong here.”
“Excuse me?” My eyes grew wide as I stared down at him. “You don’t tell someone to leave my house.”
Caleb ignore me and continued to walk closer to Oisin.
“I’m going to count to ten, and if you’re not gone, we’re going to have a big problem. One…” Caleb counted. “Two…”
“You can’t do that. He’s a c—”
Oisin placed his hand in the air, stepped around Caleb, and looked back at me.
“It’ll be okay; I was just leavin’.”
He turned to me before heading out of the house. “Remember, Sunny. He who lies down wi' dawgs gets up wi' fleas.”
I nodded as if I knew what he was talking about. With my best guess, I thought he was probably warning me to stay away from the Disciples—which I really wanted to do, but they just kept pushing themselves back into my life. They were like a horde of leeches; they wouldn’t let go until each of them had had their fill.
I slipped the business card into my pyjama pocket. I didn’t need Caleb asking about that, either. I’m positive he would have either ripped it apart or given it to his dad. The last thing I wanted to do was have Karl shove his charming face into my business.
“What did he mean by that? Sunny?”
“I don’t know what he was talking about. I just met the man and half the things he said didn’t make any sense.”
Caleb hummed and looked towards the open door. “You know you shouldn’t let people come into your place. You don’t know what kind of trouble they’ll bring.”
I rolled my eyes at the irony. “What are you doing here?”
“I was told to keep an eye out for you.”
“By whom?’ I knew the answer. It had to be Karl. Or my mom. Or maybe even both of them.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“You know Disciples take care of each other.” A smirk crossed his face, going all the way to his eyes. He was enjoying this.
“How many times do I have to tell you people that I’m not one of you?”
“Listen,” he hissed, “either you’re with us or against us. Is that what you want?’
“No, I just want to understand what happened to my dad and be left alone.”
“You’ll never be alone again.” Caleb chuckled, then looked around the living room. “I bet you already know.”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes again. “Whatever.”
“So…” He flopped the bat over and rested it on his shoulder. “You going to the Blue Moon Party next month?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.” And that was the tru
th. I’d never really had an excuse to go to the parties in the woods. At this point, I didn’t feel like it was safe for me to go wandering around at night.
“We could go together, if you want.” Caleb avoided looking into my eyes.
“Are you serious?” I wanted to scream at him to acknowledge the fact that my dad was dead.
He nodded.
“You just barged into my house and threatened someone, and now you want me to go to some party with you?” I groaned at the lack of understanding on his face.
He nodded once again. “I know you’ve always had a thing for me. Just come with me, Sunny. It’ll be fun. You ain’t got nothin’ to lose.”
I don’t know where Caleb was getting his imaginary information. Don’t get me wrong, he was nice arm candy, but he wasn’t boyfriend material. Plus, the whole gang affiliation was a deal breaker for me. If I wanted a boyfriend, it would be someone smart and caring.
“I don’t know if I’m going.”
“Oh, this will be the party of a lifetime. I’ll keep an eye out for you…Well, I was going to keep an eye out for you anyway, but now I’ll really look for you. “
“Maybe you should tell your Disciple friends to clean up all the shit they left in my living room.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll send someone.”
“I sure hope so, because next time you people have a party, I’m going to burn this house down.”
“You know, Sunny, you’re not that scrawny chicken shit little girl who used to go with my brother. You’ve changed…” He took a step forward as I took one back, into the counter.
“You look and smell…different.” Caleb leaned into me and sniffed my throat, darting out his tongue to lick my skin. My entire body froze, afraid of what might happen if I even moved an inch.
I gulped. This encounter reminded me of what a serial killer would say before chopping his victim up or wearing their skin like a housecoat.
“I like it.”
A shiver rose through me, and then died. What the hell was wrong with the Shelbys? This must be a record, getting hit on by two in one week. I wondered what would happen if Ryan hit on me. Would I win a grand prize and be dubbed trash queen of the misfit Disciples?
Caleb ran a hand through his thick black hair, making the strands ripple down to the right side. Then, he looked me up and down. His smirk lingered onto my neck and my chest, and finally back to my eyes.
“I’ll see you around.” His voice purred of something ominous.
I watched Caleb in utter confusion as he shut the door, but the tension in my body fled. My shoulders eased and I exhaled.
I took a whiff of myself over my shoulder. I probably did smell a bit like the undead, but that wouldn’t make someone like me more. If anything, it would send them running the other way. But who knows? Caleb was always a bit strange.
These past weeks made my skin crawl. Every part of my body felt unclean. I had only one option: a shower with burning hot water, followed by a long bath in which I could drown away my troubles. They were stacking up like a bunch of blocks ready to tumble.
I ran upstairs into the bathroom.
I stripped off the PJ’s, tossing them into the corner of the bathroom. Then, I peeled off the white gauze that clung to my neck. Any sign of the wound was gone. I was left with freshly pink skin and a cluster of dark brown hair.
My nose crinkled up. “Gross.”
I squished the hairs between my fingers and pulled. They were thick and coarse, unlike the thin borderline blonde hairs on the rest of my body. I needed to yank them out. I scrounged around the wooden drawer until I found a shiny pair of tweezers. I managed to get the majority of it in one pluck. Itsy bitsy rounds of red were left on the skin.
This day felt like an episode of The Twilight Zone.
I turned the taps of the shower on warm. Once I stepped into the bathtub, the water sent chills shooting my spine. I turned the hot water knob up a notch but it didn’t make a difference. It was still freezing cold. As I turned the knob all the way, steam began to fill the small room. Finally, some warmth.
Unfortunately, our hot water tank wasn’t the best, and I was only able to shower for maybe five minutes. From the small bathroom window, I could see the snow falling outside. I threw on a pair of jeans with the lightest t-shirt I owned and grabbed my cell phone from the charger in my room.
I heard the front door shut. I hurried down the stairs to find Mom and Karl standing hand in hand in the doorway. In Mom’s other hand, she held a silver urn. The sides were etched like dragon skin and it had the prettiest swirled handles.
I swallowed hard. “What’s in there?”
“Your dad,” Mom said solemnly. “I thought you would want to have his ashes.”
“You cremated him without even asking me?”
“What do you expect, Sunny? I’m the adult here, and I’m not going to ask a seventeen-year-old what to do with my dead husband.”
“All I wanted to do was say goodbye….”
My eyes were glued to the handles. I felt sick. Dad was gone, reduced to a pile of dust in a fancy vase.
My heart banged against the wall of my chest like a war drum.
“Now you don’t have to say goodbye. Why don’t you just take the urn and put it in your room?” She let go of Karl’s hand and offered it to me.
I nodded. I was afraid if I said anything, my voice would betray just how upset I was.
I reached out and brushed the pretty handles. They burned the tips of my fingers—sizzled, almost. I jerked my hands back and looked down to see red marks seared into my skin. I watched as white blisters bubbled up from underneath the still burning redness. A weird meaty smell slithered its way up into my nose.
“W-w-what is going on with me?”
Both Mom and Karl watched me in surprise. Neither spoke a single word.
I needed to get out of here. I twisted around and ran back into my room. I could hear Mom call to me, but it was too late. I wouldn’t turn back.
Once I reached my bed, I flopped down face first into the pillows.
I was running again. This time, the sun shined brightly down on the snow covered surroundings, making everything shimmer in its path. Even though there was no snow on the road, I would stay on the soft ground. It felt as though lava was coursing through my veins, and the smooth slush soothed my burning paws.
The snow started blowing and falling in bigger flakes, tickling the tip of my nose. I let my tongue waggle out, catching it.
A few cars passed by and slowed down once they caught a glimpse of me. I wouldn’t give the gawkers the satisfaction of looking their way. Instead, I ran faster. I turned away from their curious eyes, dodging towards the trees and pushing myself deeper into the forest. The snow stopped falling, revealing a blue, cloudless sky.
Something was coming this way. The rustle of trees echoed loudly in my ear drums. My head whipped around as a raven swooshed through the trees, flying above me. The bird cawed. He kept up the pace, and every so often I would jump, then try to nip its jagged pin-needle feet. He was too fast, and dodged every attempt.
We ran through the forest for what seemed to be hours. I caught a rabbit, and devoured the meat until all that was left was a pile of white fur.
Once the sky grew dark and the stars were out, we finally made it to the mountains. The bird squawked, swooped down, and nestled against my neck. Somehow, I knew in my heart he wanted me to trail behind him. He took me past the trees and into a clearing. There stood a row of six tan teepees and large blazing fire. He landed in front of the fire, and his wings fluttered.
A shriek spilled out from his beak, and the entire length of his body shook. Its head snapped back. Bloodied black feathers were torn from the raven’s body and revealed smooth tan skin. There, before my eyes, stood Sho. His hair was soaking wet and pulled to the side. The glow from the fire emphasized his naked, well-developed curves. There was no shame in his face, and his eyes locked with mine.
I didn�
�t know how to turn back into a human. Sho took a step towards me, brushing his hand through my fur, running his fingers down the side of my neck.
“Everything will be okay,” he whispered. “You’ll come back once you’re ready.”
Chapter Six
I woke up in front of the fire, with a heavy wool blanket wrapped around my naked body. There was a neatly folded pile of clothing on the nearest log. Sho was fast asleep, wrapped in a similar blanket. His snores and deep raspy breaths drowned out the crackling of the fire. I slowly stood up, tucking the blanket tightly between my armpit and body. My eyes stayed focused on Sho as I side shuffled towards the clothes. I quickly slipped on the sweat pants and long t-shirt that hung off my bones. They were about two sizes too big, but I was grateful anyway.
Sho yawned and stretched his arms towards the sky. He looked at me, his dark messy hair falling in front of his eyes.
“Hi,” I said, biting down on my lip and trying to avoid direct eye contact with him. The memory of Sho’s naked body flashed before my eyes. I wanted to curl up into the sweater and hide until he went away. Just the thought made my heart beat faster and my skin tingle. Was this normal, or just me being a wolf?
“Hey,” Sho replied.
“Hey…” I took a deep breath and managed to look him in the eye.
He smirked as if he could read the embarrassment across my face.
“You’re a raven?”
He nodded. “And you’re a wolf.”
“But...how is that possible?”
“Well, I was born this way, but you were…”
“Bitten.” I finished his sentence. “Or was I infected? Cursed? Did the rabies virus mutate, and I was the lucky one to be the first? Did I die, and this whole past week was me being tortured in hell? I know I’m not good enough to get into heaven.” Anxiety flared through me with the endless list of possibilities.
“No, no, no.” Sho shook his head. “Has your week been that bad?”