by Addison Jane
Maybe I was being irrational. He said he would come back. But what if he started demanding answers, ones I couldn’t give him without letting him in, and showing him that side of me that had always been looked down on in disgust, the side that had always made me feel shame.
It was all a stupid mistake, and now I was falling.
I was back in the pit that I’d fought so hard to drag myself out of, and people were starting to notice. My living hell was coming back in full force, and I’d left it too long. There was nothing I could do to stop it.
The shadows were taking hold.
“Open your mouth,” Peter urged, his hand stroking my hair softly.
I eagerly followed his instructions, desperate to be given the reprieve he offered, the escape from my own mind.
He popped the small pill in and I swallowed it greedily. The effects of it were never instant, but as soon as I felt it travel down my throat my whole body relaxed. It was there now, and soon the manic chaos in my mind would leave, and I’d be okay.
Peter knew what he was doing, he’d worked for a long time in this business, he knew exactly what I needed and he stood by me. He understood what I was going through, and was willing to do whatever he had to do in order to make me feel better.
Some days were better than others, but on days like today where I was struggling to simply breathe, I’d begged him for the drugs. In a dark closed off part of my mind, I knew that I was quickly becoming an addict, but I refused to take notice of that tiny little voice that begged me to stop.
Just one more day. Just one more pill.
One more, I told myself, and then I’d be okay.
“I’m going to invite some friends around for dinner,” Peter told me as he helped me to lay back on the bed. “You won’t even know they’re here. Just relax, Annabelle.”
The way he said my name was so soft, so soothing. I could already feel my body beginning to melt, my senses becoming numb, my body felt like it was floating.
And my mind… blank.
That’s what I wanted.
I wanted to sink into the black abyss where there wasn’t so much noise.
“Annabelle...” I could hear my name being spoken. “I’ll make you feel good again.”
Please, I whispered in my head.
I just wanted to feel good again.
“Get out,” Optimus ordered, his voice cold and distant.
I couldn’t breathe, his words striking me in the chest like a hot poker even though I knew they were coming. I’d pushed him to his limit, and I’d done it purposefully, blaming the club for the issues Harlyn was having at school. I wanted him to push back, but now he had, I could feel the spiral coming, sucking me into its depths.
Nodding, I reached out for Harlyn’s hand, my heart breaking as I watched her cling to Blizzard’s leg with tears streaming down her face. It was like she wanted him to protect her like he was her safety net, her strength, and I was the weak link.
I didn’t blame her, in fact, I was almost happy. She needed him, and Op, and this whole club, because I was about to walk away, and she needed to be protected—protected from me.
Barely able to compute a word he said, I rushed to the door, slipping past Wrench as I went. His scent filled my nose and I came to a standstill, wondering what I should do?
Whether I should just walk straight back inside and tell them the truth.
Would they understand?
Had I left it too long to ask for help?
I took off at a run, heading for my car. Climbing inside, my hands shook as I started the engine and pulled out of the compound with my foot to the floor.
Wrench hadn’t returned that night to spend time with Harlyn, the club had been called away to help Blizzard and Rose. One part of my brain laughed, telling me that it was just the escape that he needed, an excuse to get the hell away from me and my moody up and down rollercoaster ride of bullshit.
While he was gone, things only got worse.
There was a package left at my door. No name, just a white envelope and a note. The handwriting wasn’t familiar, but the contents inside were. Tiny white pills. The ones I’d spent the last six years trying to escape. The ones that held memories of my self-destruction and addiction. They were taunting me, laughing in my face, and even as I tipped them into the toilet, my hand shook as it hovered above the button, wondering if it would really be so bad if I just took one.
Always just one.
One more, and I’ll feel better.
Just one more.
When Harlyn had appeared in the doorway, the choice was stripped from me and I watched them swirl downwards, disappearing into the pipes, dissolving away into nothing.
He had come to my home, and I had no doubt that he’d sent that voice message a few weeks ago. Eric was right. He wasn’t just going to let this slide. He wasn’t going to be made to look like a fool and allow me to get away with coming back here and living a normal life. There was something he wanted, and he was coming for me. He was going to get it, whatever the cost. But this time, I was going to fight back, even if I had to do it alone. Even if I had to run again.
At least now I knew Harlyn would be safe. Optimus would protect her, the brothers would watch over her and give her the love and support she needed, while I fought to get my life back together. I had to do it for her, and I had to do it alone.
I’d made a mistake once of thinking that Wrench could save me, that he could be everything I needed and protect me from my past and my demons.
Now I was beginning to realize that the only person who could do that, was me.
There was a harsh banging on my front door. I sighed as I pushed off my sofa and headed down the hall to answer it. There was only a handful of people who it could be. None of them I wanted to face with tears streaking my face, and my heart feeling like it was about it shatter into tiny pieces all over my beautiful wooden floors.
I could see the shape of a man through the stained glass window that filled my door. I knew exactly whose form it was. The broad shoulders, strong stance, and the shadow of the cap that covered his head. I stopped moving forward and took a deep breath.
“Open the door, Sugar.” His voice didn’t boom or yell, but he knew how close I was to the door. He always knew when I was close.
Inhaling, I rolled my shoulders back, preparing myself for the onslaught.
Wrench didn’t wait a beat, as soon as the door was cracked, he pushed it open with his hand and stepped through, forcing me backward as he slammed it closed behind him. I jumped at the loud bang it made, even though I was expecting it. My nerves were shot, my mind racing but my body slow and sluggish—the aftermath of too many sleepless nights. Wrench looked at me from beneath the bill of his cap, his eyes penetrating me like he was filtering through all the secrets in my head.
“Stop it,” I growled softly before turning and marching back down the hall to my living room.
There were papers and folders scattered all over the floor. The joys of opening your own business. Pushing the paperwork out of the way with my foot, I turned to face Wrench. My body was stiff, my feet apart as I prepared myself for what he had to say. I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Spending time with Wrench had allowed me to see the sides of him that I knew he didn’t show outside his brotherhood. We’d gotten really close. But I’d ruined it. And I needed it to stay that way.
“Do you know how hard it is watching Harlyn mope around the clubhouse?”
My breath hitched. He wasn’t batting for first base, he was hitting a home run.
“I’ve never seen that kid without a fucking smile on her face. And now? Now we’d be lucky to see her without tears.”
Gripping my stomach, I had to force myself to hold down the bile that was rising.
This was my daughter.
She was my world. My everything. And I was hurting her.
I gasped, tears attacking my eyes.
It had been hard the last few days, fighting the urge not to walk righ
t into her school and put my fist through her teacher’s face. My girl was getting bullied and teased, and I was on the edge of a mental breakdown as I allowed her father to deal with the problem. Instead of stepping up and being the parent that I should be.
The only thing stopping me—she was safer with the club than she was with me. I never wanted to cause her any pain, but until I figured out my next move, at least, I knew they would look after her and care for her and she’d have so much love surrounding her.
My heart hurt to think about how much I missed her.
Feeling Wrench’s hands on my shoulders, I looked up at him through the mist that clouded my vision.
“It’s not too late. Come, talk to Op and we can sort out whatever it is that’s going on.” His voice was soft now, comforting.
I wanted to take him up on that, to trust that I could go to them and keep everyone safe. But the truth was, they didn’t know who they would be dealing with. My past was catching up to me. I knew coming back to Athens had huge risks attached, but like a fool I thought that maybe after five years that people would forget, that they would move on.
They hadn’t, and I could feel the dark clouds that had begun to roll in. The only difference between now and then, was that I wasn’t young and scared anymore. I’d found a place here, and Harlyn had the father and the family that she’d missed out on for the first five years of her life. I was following my dreams and starting a new business.
Then there was Wrench. The man who’d made me feel more alive than I’d ever felt in my life.
I wouldn’t let any of that be taken from me now.
Now I had something to fight for and I wasn’t running this time.
Squaring my shoulders, I took a deep breath. “I will sort it out. It’ll be okay.” The words were more for my benefit than his.
His eyes flashed with frustration. “You’re being fucking selfish.”
I fell out of his reach, stepping away and putting distance between us. “Think what you want. I don’t care.”
Pushing Wrench away was painful, but I stood my ground. He could see inside me, I could feel it. He knew something was wrong and the closer we got, the more dangerous it was for him.
“I think you should leave.”
I saw his jaw tick. “Maybe you’re right. I put my patch on the line, risked my brother’s trust. And for what? Some stuck up bitch who can’t even stand up and do right by her kid.”
The knife sliced through me, his words hitting every mark they were meant for with precision.
“Don’t worry. We’ll look after Harlyn. I’ll keep her safe and happy and loved because that kid deserves it.” His angry footsteps resonated through my body as he stomped back down the hall. My body jerked when the door slammed behind him, and the sound of a motorcycle starting up and revving as it took off down the street, chilled me to the bone.
I collapsed onto the sofa, my body cold and shaking.
I don’t know how long I sat there, unable to move without risking my stomach contents spilling onto the floor. My heart told me to chase after him, that he was right, I needed to go to the club and ask for help. I was a lone soldier standing on a battlefield, not knowing which direction the enemy would attack from. I just knew they were there, they weren’t just hiding in the shadows—they were the shadows.
A ringing filled the lonely, empty space of my living room. I scrambled for the side table, not even bothering to check the ID as I held it to my ear.
“Hello?” I answered breathlessly.
“Oh, Annabelle. Oh… how I’ve missed you.” I would never forget that deep voice and sarcastic tormenting tone that he saved just for me.
My fingers dug into the sofa cushion, anger spiking inside me. “What do you want, Peter?”
He clicked his tongue with a chuckle. “Now, now. That’s no way to speak to your husband.”
THREE WEEKS LATER
“Op not coming out tonight?” Slider turned his chair and straddled it, placing his beer on the table.
Kat dropped to her knees on the stage in front of us and grinned widely. Leo rolled his eyes but reached over and tucked a fifty inside her G-string, pulling the elastic back and letting it ping against her skin. I cringed at the sound, knowing that would have stung. Leo flashed her a smile as she flipped him off and began crawling to the opposite side of the small stage where there were four men in suits waiting with cash in their hands.
I chuckled. “Chel isn’t feeling well. He wanted to keep an eye on her.”
Groaning, Slider threw his head back. “He never comes out anymore. Especially now Harlyn is at the club full time.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s called being a parent, fucker.”
“Leo’s here,” he defended.
“Carly has her,” Leo answered, unfazed by Slider’s idiocy. “She’s been up my ass lately about what Macy is getting exposed to.”
I turned my attention away from Slider. “Why?”
Leo sipped at his drink. “Apparently when she was there last weekend she called her cousin an asshole.” I didn’t miss the small smile that played at the corner of his mouth.
I smirked. “Oh really? What was the cousin doing?”
“Being an asshole, I guess.”
I laughed. Leo loved his little girl. Macy was three, and she had grown up within the clubhouse. I always wondered why Leo hadn’t moved to his own place after his wife had died giving birth to their little girl. But I think being inside the club helped keep him sane.
“I should demand another fifty for that little stunt, Ethan,” Kat leaned over our table, her hands flat on the surface. She must have just stepped off stage because her breasts were hanging free and money still lined the bright pink scrap of fabric that covered her pussy. She was the only girl who worked here that could get away with talking to a member that way or using his real name without being fired on the spot. She’d been with us for too long, and we all had a soft spot for her. Until she got on that stage, then there wasn’t a soft nothing in this whole place.
She was sex on legs.
And she knew it.
“Well, Katrina, how ‘bout you book a room out the back and I’ll make up for it with this?” Leo palmed the front of his jeans, a wide grin on his face.
Pulling back, Kat folding her arms across her chest, blocking our view of her fake breasts. She smirked. “I’d rather the fifty.”
I snorted out a laugh along with my brothers.
Leo chuckled. “Send one of the girls out with another round of drinks will you.”
Kat rolled her eyes but smiled. “Sure.”
As she walked away, I watched her hips swaying seductively from side to side. I wondered silently, why one of the boys had yet to pick up Kat and claim her as property. She was hot, sexy as hell, had a heart of gold, and the right mix of attitude and obedience that you would look for in an Old Lady. She had a little boy at home, three-year-old, I think. She stripped to look after him and was putting herself through college to be a social worker. Kat knew what she wanted and where she wanted to be, and there wasn’t anything that was going to stop her from getting there.
Maybe if things were different I would have seen where things could lead. But there was another woman who had dug underneath my skin, one who I hadn’t seen in twenty-two days… but who was counting?
Sugar Sullivan.
“Wrench.” My head shot up hearing my name. Ham, one of our prospects, stood staring at me with a raised brow.
I cleared my throat. “What?”
“Connor wants to have a chat with you out the back,” he explained, throwing his thumb over his shoulder.
One of the girls placed a tray of drinks on the table just as I pushed to my feet. I grabbed a new beer, my mouth watering as I felt the coolness of the bottle against my hand. I took a mouthful before saluting my brothers and heading out the back to Connor’s office. The door was open, so I stepped inside, pushing it closed behind me.
Connor looked up from h
is chair. “Hey, man.”
I grabbed the front of my cap and twisted it on my head so that it was turned backward. “You needed me for something?”
He nodded and gestured to the seat opposite his desk. I shrugged and rounded it, taking a seat and sipping at my beer. Connor shuffled through a few things in silence for a moment, before he pulled out a single piece of paper and handed it over the desk to me.
I frowned, but leaned forward and took it from him, twisting it around so I could read the writing. “Ruby Danby, nineteen, blonde, blue eyes…” Looking up at him I raised my brow. “This a profile for one of your girls?”
“She just started here a couple of weeks ago,” he explained as I looked at her picture and details.
“Having problems with her already?”
He shook his head. “She’s good. Does her dances. Already popular with the customers for privates. Never argues or causes shit with the other girls…”
I chuckled softly. “So why am I here?”
“She’s from the wrong side of the tracks.”
Narrowing my eyes, I looked from him down to Ruby’s details. For a moment I was confused, most of our girls struggled from day to day and didn’t live in the best houses or apartments. We paid them well, but for the most part they still just managed to get by, given that a lot of them were paying for things like school, college, children or taking care of family members. But when I looked down at her address, I couldn’t help but be surprised.
“The girl comes from money.”
Where she lived was one of the richest suburbs in the city.
“Exactly,” he said, leaning back in his seat.
“Rich kid rebelling against her parents?” I questioned, the explanation totally plausible. It wouldn’t be the first stripper or club girl I’d met who was seeking a little ride on the bad side, in order to fight back against their parent’s strict rules.