by Addison Jane
I nodded, picking up Sugar in my arms and racing through the crowd of brothers to the elevator with Skins beside me, rattling off words into his cell that I didn’t understand. All I was focused on was the fact that Sugar was still breathing, and as long as she was, so was I.
My eyes fluttered open. My body aching in places that I wasn’t even sure I knew existed, and the pain in my head, it was very real. I groaned, rolling over, wanting so badly to just make it go away.
Why wouldn’t it go away!
“Hey,” a soft deep voice whispered, making me jolt back and the memories came flooding in.
I was with Eric. He wasn’t the man I thought he was. He wanted to hurt me. To sell me. He kept giving me those pills, and I stopped fighting him. I’d turned back into a junkie, just wanting the pain and the noise to go away.
The noise!
I could hear it in my ears, it was buzzing like there was a bee flying around my head. I tried to grab it, ending up with fistfuls of my hair in my hands.
“Sugar!” the voice hissed, and I stilled. They grabbed my wrists and gently pulled them away from my head, my fingers slowly becoming detangled from my hair until my arms were pressed down by my sides.
It wasn’t him.
Not Eric.
Someone else.
Eric didn’t call me Sugar.
Only the club called me Sugar.
I forced my eyes open, my eyelids so heavy I was straining just to move them, my breathing heavy.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”
Tears instantly sprung to my eyes, and I let out a loud sob.
It was Wrench.
My eyes were blurred, but I could see his face, his body, and that damn cap that he never went anywhere without. That cap that I absolutely fucking loved. He didn’t say anything else, just sat silently, his hand slipping into mine and our fingers intertwining. It reminded me of the first time he’d sat with me as I broke down. Only this time, I wanted his touch. My head was in a daze, and I needed to physically feel him there with me, I needed to know that he wasn’t going to leave me.
He held a glass of water up in front of me, and I sipped at it greedily, my throat raw and scratchy.
“Just a little bit,” Wrench warned. “Or you’ll make yourself sick.”
He pulled the glass away, and I pouted as an uncontrollable tremor went through my body. With Wrench beside me, the noise soon faded into the background, the sound of his deep masculine voice, so much more powerful. The other symptoms, though, they were still there. My mind was starting to catch on and piece together what had happened, flashes of memories sending chills through me. The effects of the drugs wearing off and leaving me with the physical withdrawals, though they were just as debilitating. My hands trembled as I searched for Wrench’s hands, the warmth of his skin soothing the chill that was settling over my skin.
“You’ll get through this,” he said simply. “And I’ll be here with you.”
Every part of me believed him.
There was no doubt in my mind that Wrench would stand with me.
It was a setback. Like I’d made it to the edge of the swimming pool, just to be picked up and tossed into the deep end again. But I had more than one reason to fight and come back stronger than before.
Wrench was my shelter from the storm that raged inside me, the thing that kept me grounded when I felt as though I was being swept away.
Then there was my baby girl. Harlyn was the reason I kept fighting to begin with, the reason I kept moving forward. I was on a mission to prove to her that anything was possible, no matter how much people tried to break you down.
I may not have believed that myself for a long time, but I would stand my ground now.
With her helping me move forward and him by my side, there was no way I could lose.
Sugar was in the hospital for a little over a day before her vitals returned to normal. The large amount of drugs he’d given her was almost like a fucking cocktail of death. It wasn’t just ‘Manic’ he’d forced into her system, she’d also had sedatives and other pills. Basically, Eric wanted to make her dopey, addicted and horny. All things that would appeal to her new owner.
Unfortunately, while she survived the lethal mixture, it had fucked even further with the balance that she’d fought so hard to find in her head. She was having nightmares which would result in panic attacks three or four times a night, which meant that neither of us was getting any sleep.
The days weren’t much better. I would find her sitting, gazing out into space with that blank look on her face and it scared the fucking life out of me, thinking maybe she’d taken something.
Harlyn wasn’t coping much better with seeing her mom so broken, she’d started talking back at school to her teachers and having arguments with her friends. Then she would come home and just curl up beside Sugar on the bed, and the two of them would stay like that for hours. It wasn’t fucking healthy, not to mention the fact that we were now also trying to cut off the fucking man who’d bought her—he either wanted her or he wanted his money back. One hundred thousand dollars.
Never a fucking dull moment.
I was sitting in church a week after bringing Sugar home, and my stomach was in knots. I was about to ask the club for permission to do something, and I wasn’t sure just how Optimus would feel about it.
“Anyone have business?” Op asked the table.
I took a deep breath and raised my hand. All eyes fell on me.
“Wrench, you have the floor.”
I cleared my throat and pulled my shoulders back. “I want to take Sugar away,” I said clearly, seeing the confusion set in on my brothers’ faces. “She’s not coping. Her medication isn’t working like it should, and to be honest man, I think she needs somewhere clear to get her head right again.”
Op’s jaw was set, his arms folded across his chest. “How long do you think she’ll need?”
“However long it takes,” Blizzard cut in, looking over to Op. “It could be weeks, it could be months, but you know that he’s right. She’s not doing well, and Harlyn is barely getting by, too.”
My brothers down the table nodded, it was obvious with her panic attacks and the way she simply couldn’t even smile, barely could stand being touched by anyone other than Har or me, that she needed space. She needed time to focus on what was important again. And if that time was away from the club where there wasn’t that reminder, then so be it.
Optimus sighed and reclined back in his chair. “Hurts to see her like this,” he said quietly.
Sugar and Op may never have been fully in love, but they shared a child, so they had a different kind of love between them. Optimus would always care for her and fight for her, but it was my job now to protect her and make sure that Harlyn, in a few weeks or months or however long it took, gets to have her mom back.
Sugar’s mind was delicate right now, and while the club was supportive, it was still filled with chaos at the best of times.
“You have something in mind?” Leo asked from across the table.
I nodded and pulled a pamphlet out of my back pocket, placing it on the table. “It’s in Texas. The program itself goes for a few weeks, then we just see what happens. We stay there as long as needed to get her back to a place where she’s… her again.”
I looked at each of my brothers around the table, and they all nodded in support. They knew this was what needed to be done, and they were going to support us because that’s what family fucking does.
“We’re with you,” Optimus said seriously. “We will do what we can from here. Money or whatever you need, it’s yours.”
I shook my head. “Thanks. The only thing I need is to look after her, and figure out what the hell we’re gonna do about this guy who still thinks he owns her. The only thing we can do is to try and give him back his money. And that’s gonna take some effort and time without me being caught, which is another reason why it’s best if we leave.”
My probation requirements
didn’t hold me within the state, but I’d still need to get approval to leave, given that it was going to be for some time.
But that was all minor details. I didn’t care what it took, I’d fucking jump through their damn hoops and roll over if it meant giving Sugar what she needed to fight back against the trauma she’d been through.
This woman was it for me.
I was done.
She was mine, and I was hers, and I’d willingly give up my life and my freedom if it meant giving it to her.
Wrench held my hand as we drove through the countryside that I knew felt so familiar.
Months and months had passed, and now we were heading home.
It was December Twenty-Eighth. We’d missed Christmas by a few days and barely missed the birth of Chelsea and Op’s twin boys, Jackson and Oliver. I’d seen pictures and while the boys were still in the hospital, having come far too early, but they were fighters and getting stronger every damn day.
It was that, that had spurred us to come home. We’d been discussing it for over a week now, the both of us sure in our minds that it was time. My heart was aching to be with my daughter and start our lives again, with the club and with the man who had stood by me through thick and thin.
The man whose hand was clasped in mine, his fingers fiddling with my ring, the ring he’d given me on Christmas Day with promises of love and support for the rest of my life.
“Tootsie roll?” Wrench called out from the porch of the small cabin we lived in, bringing a smile to my face. He’d never stopped changing them. Every day there was a new nickname, some kind of candy or something sweet that he liked to call me by.
I knew it had started out as a game, searching for something he could call me that was his own. But the game, in turn, had turned into just that, the new names he came up with was something that was special to us. Something that made both of us smile.
“I’m here,” I called back, drawing his attention to where I was feeding Butternut, one of the farm horses.
I heard his heavy footsteps move down the steps, the grass crunching under his feet as he made his way over to me. We’d been here on the ranch for almost three months.
The first month had been a pretty intense program that they specialized in here, helping people with disorders like my own cope with our emotions. At first, it was hard to see through the fog, my nights still filled with horrible dreams and memories, and my days spent missing my daughter and feeling like I’d failed her for walking away when she needed me the most.
But Wrench stood by my side, and the people who owned the ranch, they knew what they were doing, and they gave me the time I needed to work on myself. They taught us both skills, from how to remind myself that I wasn’t the only one dealing with the problems I had, and helping me accept the fact that I didn’t need to feel like I was an outsider, or an addict because medication helped me get through the days. They helped me to see that the guilt I harbored deep inside me because of my addiction to those pills was not my fault and that I was taking the steps I needed to take toward making myself better for my family and for me.
The ranch was busy, but it was also calming. There were times where we could relax and bask in the open air, take a moment to calm our minds, and there were other times where they worked us hard, showing us how to deal with stressful situations when they hit us head on.
It wasn’t all about learning how to breathe, it was also about learning my limits and knowing how to bring myself back or ask for help when I felt like I was getting too deep.
Sure, there were times when it got too much, when I missed Harlyn so deeply that my heart ached, and I felt like the shadows were coming back for me. But they also taught Wrench how to be there for me, while letting me have my space, so that I didn’t rely on him constantly to make everything better.
I was stronger within myself.
I was ready to be with my family again.
We weren’t sure when, but very soon we’d be heading home. Wrench had managed to pay off the debt that had been placed on me, using funds from Eric’s accounts. He had to do it slowly, though, pulling out small amounts over time. We were just thankful that technically, Eric was still classed as missing and not dead, so they hadn’t shut his accounts down, and showing that there was money going out was actually good for keeping that ideal alive, so people wondered whether he’d just done a runner.
A hand touched my back, and I smiled as his arms wormed their way around my waist. I never imagined having a man like Wrench do what he’d done for me. He stepped away from his family and the club for all this time, to make sure that I had the skills and the mindset I needed to survive. He reminded me every single day how much he loved me, and how he’d be by my side no matter what. And he proved it.
He didn’t want to fix me like so many others had thought they could.
“She’s gonna get fat if you just stand here all day and feed her,” he chuckled in my ear, reaching for his own hand full of pellets and offering it to her. She nibbled at them like the greedy girl she was.
“Isn’t that the point of Christmas Day? To eat all the food humanly possible and then spend the next two days regretting it?” I laughed.
He snorted. “You may have a point. On that note, the food is ready, so it’s time to eat.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the house as I giggled happily.
When we stepped inside, I gasped, and my hand went straight to my mouth. The table was set with two plates on either side and flowers in the center. There was one other thing, though. Something that made the smile on my face grow wider as I looked over at him.
He was grinning. “Romance isn’t exactly my thing, so I just went with what I knew.”
Candy and chocolate bars covered almost ever surface of our tiny cabin. There was only one room, except for a small separate bathroom. There was every type of candy you could imagine spread out across the bed, the coffee table, the sofa and the small kitchen. It was like a sugar factory had exploded in there.
“Where did you hide all this stuff?” I said in awe as I moved through the room.
He snorted. “Hiding it wasn’t the hard part, it was not eating it that almost got to me.”
I shook my head and laughed. Wrench’s body was in freaking amazing shape. He trained every day, yet never thought twice about what food he was putting into his body. I hated it, my jealousy rearing when I caught sight in the mirror of my slightly rounded stomach.
I forgot about it almost instantly though, when I remembered that I was the one woman who was allowed to appreciate his rock hard abs and feel his strong arms wrapped around me every single night.
“This is…” My words fell off as I turned around to talk to him, only to find him down on one knee with a small black box in his hand. He held it up and flicked the lid open to reveal a stunning ring with two beautiful diamonds on the top.
Tears sprung to my eyes, and even though I tried to hold them back, they quickly began to flow down my cheeks as I blinked. “Wrench…” I whispered.
“I want you to be mine forever,” he whispered, looking me directly in the eye. “I’ll give you everything you need. I’ll be there for you… and for Harlyn. I ain’t gonna take the place of her dad, she has a pretty amazing one already, but I’ll be a man she can look up to, that she can come to with her problems. I’ll be a man that will fight for the both of you to be happy for the rest of your lives.”
I dropped down to my knees in front of him and scooted forward. He opened his arms for me, and I threw myself into them, sobbing softly into his shoulder.
I never imagined I would ever get married again, not that you could call my marriage to Peter a real marriage. Growing up I’d never dreamed of the fairy tale wedding, and the perfect man like the girls around me had.
But I guess because this just wasn’t your perfect fairy tale. A perfect fairy tale didn’t involve bikers, addicts, sex traffickers and single moms.
But this was mine.
It was ours.
“Is that a yes?” he asked with a light chuckle.
“Yes!”
“We’re here,” Wrench said softly, nudging my shoulder. I looked up as the gates to the clubhouse pulled open, and Ham stood beside them with a grin on his face so wide that I thought his cheeks might split open.
He turned his body to walk back to the booth, and I gasped. “Ham got patched in?”
Wrench laughed. “Yeah, Optimus called me to get my vote.”
I hit him with the back of my hand. “You didn’t tell me that.”
He just smiled as we pulled up to the clubhouse and shut off the engine. I looked over at him and he met my eyes. “We’re home.”
I could feel the emotions already welling up inside me as I gave his hand one last squeeze before I reached for the door handle.
Someone beat me to it.
My door swung open, and I looked up to see Op’s bright face. We stared at each other for a moment before his face broke out into a wide grin. “Fucking come here already,” he said holding his arms wide.
I leaped out, and he caught me mid-air. I laughed as he squeezed me tightly and swung me around in a circle. “Damn it’s good to have you two finally home,” he said as he placed my feet back on the ground. “You look good.”
“I feel good.”
I looked over to see Wrench’s brothers crowd around him, each taking turns to hug him tightly as they welcomed him back.
The sounds of children laughing had me turning toward the wall that hid the backyard from the front of the clubhouse. My stomach turned nervously, knowing my daughter’s happy giggle instantly.
“Go,” Op said, pushing on the small of my back.
I took one step after another toward the space in the fence, my hands shaking and sweat beading on my forehead.
I saw her first.
God, she’d grown.
She was chasing Jayla, while Blizzard watched on with a smile from the porch. Her hair was out, and it waved in the breeze. I tugged at my own, thinking about how similar it was to mine.