by Amy Star
Jane frowned. “So mated bears live forever unless they die freakishly together? That sounds kind of like being invincible.”
Vincent shook his head. “No, it’s not a forever kind of thing, and often it’s not at the exact same time. It is more like the person who is dying feeds off the life force of the other person; if the other person is strong enough to help heal their mate and continue to live themselves, it will heal the wounded or sick mate. If the injured person is beyond help they’ll die, and their mate will pass away, too, usually of a natural cause within a few days or weeks, their life force being drained beyond the point that they can recover from it.”
“You keep saying 'usually,' are there exceptions to the rule?” Jane asked before pulling the chicken out of the oven.
“Yes, we don’t know why but every now and then, a mate will die and leave their partner healthy to live as if they weren’t mated. This happens rarely and is always hard for the surviving partner. It truly is a fate worse than death to be bereft of your mate. The emotional connection is so intense it’s like losing your other half. It’s rare for a werebear to live like that.”
Jane scooped the roasted veggies off the tray. “Well, maybe they weren’t really mated. I mean, maybe they got the emotions wrong or maybe it wasn’t mutual. How do you know you’ve found your mate? I mean as a human, it can be difficult to know when you’re in love...or how deeply you’re in love.”
“It’s, uh, pretty obvious for a werebear,” Vincent said with a small wince that Jane caught out of the corner of her eye.
“What do you mean obvious? Is it like in Twilight? You imprint or whatever?” Jane said trying to keep it light, but if it was instant for a werebear then that meant that Vincent already knew what their status was; that he had known for almost two months.
“Yes and no actually. It’s like imprinting in that it’s a biological thing and that it’s instant, the moment you meet your mate, you know. Though, it won’t happen until the werebear is of age, so you can grow up with someone and after fifty years or so you’ll realize they are your mate. Biologically, it’s a hormonal thing, but thankfully, it keeps everything less creepy that way.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed, “So you still haven’t said how you know that someone is your mate. How does that work?”
Vincent took a deep breath in and enjoyed the scent of gardenia for a moment before the shit hit the fan. “It’s the smell. Your mate’s scent will be strong, intoxicating, and something you are unable to walk away from. The instinct to protect isn’t quite as instant though it gains momentum quickly. You’ll want to take care of them, feed them, house them, clothe them. And uh, like Xavier said, sexually, it can be pretty intense. It’s impossible to deny.” Vincent finished his speech with his hands fidgeting with the silverware.
Jane froze. During his explanation, he’d started to look defeated. It sounded like a situation made of fantasy - to know that the person you were with was your soul mate; how many people would kill to have that instinct? Yet, Vincent looked like it was a curse or a burden to bear. She knew with her next question that there would be no going back from here, but Jane was helpless to ask, “Vincent, what do I smell like to you?”
Vincent didn’t look up as his tortured voice answered, “Gardenia. You smell like the ripest gardenia in the summer sun...and the moment you walked into Midnight Ink, I knew you were my mate.”
“You don’t sound happy about that.”
Vincent didn’t look up, but he was relieved that her voice sounded logical and calm. Perhaps she wasn’t going to go crazy over the news. Maybe he still had the chance to relegate their relationship to the sidelines. “It’s not great timing for me. I have so much else going on and to be honest, I wasn’t expecting to find a mate outside the clan,” Vincent said lifting his head and looking into Jane’s carefully blank face. “But so far I think I’ve managed to balance it all. I have you here and at work. I’m filling the need to take care of you and still running Midnight Ink and taking care of my role within the clan. I think I’ve made it all work.” He finished with a sigh.
Jane couldn’t believe it. She didn’t know what made her angriest. Was it that he had known since the moment they met? Was it that he had waited so long to tell her about it? Obviously, all of the other weres had known -- it’s why they had pushed her to ask about it. But mostly, it was the way he wished that he’d never found her as a mate; hard not to take that one personally.
“No, Vincent, I think I’ve made it work,” Jane began, the heat rising in her voice warning Vincent that he’d made a critical error in his monologue. Shit was about to hit the fan. “I make it work because I make your schedule, I make sure you have time for everything. Left to your own devices, you’re pretty shit about it. And you know, at first I thought it was because you were just bad at planning. But no one with as much success as you is bad at planning. No, you’re bad at it because you’re trying to hide from your responsibilities. You don’t want to be a leader in the clan, you don’t want free time with me. You want me under your thumb, following your orders, eating your food and wearing your clothing, because if I’m just a puppy for you to feed, clothe, and put in a cage, I’m one less real responsibility to deal with. Well, it’s time to man up, buddy. Grow a pair and take on the life you’ve been given. But I’ll make it easier for you; I’m out. That leaves one less stressor in your life. I have no desire to be someone’s burden. I wanted to love you - I do love you, but I will not be with a man because biologically he can’t walk away. I’m stronger than that and I’m out.”
Vincent watched as Jane stopped yelling at him, grabbed her purse, and headed out of the suite. He let her have a minute before going after her, the elevator would take a few minutes before arriving at the floor this time of night and he needed to rally himself up to finish this fight with her. Scrubbing his face with one hand, he took a deep breath and stood up. Walking out of the suite he looked down the hall and saw...nothing. Panic struck him in the gut and he looked back and forth before running over to the elevator. He watched as the numbers counted down to the first floor. The elevator must have been sitting at the floor for her to get on so fast. God, he’d fucked this up. What was he going to do now?
*
The question really was what did Vincent want to do? Vincent had raced down to the entrance and then back up to Midnight Ink and there was no sign of Jane anywhere. He’d started to get a little crazy until Carrie pulled him aside and said that Jane was fine. She was staying in a hotel for the night and was safe. The mated bear in Vincent didn’t want to believe that. He wanted to change into his bear form and rage up and down the strip till Jane came back to him. Carrie could practically see the hackles rise on Vincent and she sent him to his office until she had finished with her customer.
An hour later, she tapped on the office door. Carrie had known Vincent would stay in the office till she came to him because Carrie was Vincent’s best link to Jane right now. Jane had called her immediately after she’d left the suite because although Jane left with her purse, she left her wallet behind, on the kitchen counter. Jane had wanted Carrie to go up the suite and swipe it, but Carrie said she’d arrange with the front desk for a room for Jane and Jane could go get the wallet herself the next day and pay herself. Jane had wanted to get as far from Vincent as she could, but Carrie assured her that the staff wouldn’t reveal her whereabouts without her express agreement.
Jane had relented and was now ensconced in the penthouse suite that put Vincent’s suite to shame. There was a pool up there and a hot tub, Carrie knew from personal experience. Carrie was a good friend so she’d sent up a pint of Ben and Jerry’s along with a bottle of wine with a note saying she would be up for a sleepover later and to wait to pop the cork with her. Now, looking in at Vincent, Carrie had no intention of having a sleepover with Jane. Vincent would never last long enough not to smell his way up and down the strip, tracking his mate. Carrie had to fix this. She’d watched for too long as her boss and frien
d fought his destiny. It was time for him to accept that where he was going could be a good place. A place filled with the love of a good woman and the respect of a strong clan. It could be fulfilling...it could be better than the alternative.
“Hey Vince,” Carrie said as she stepped into the cramped office, “I never knew why you didn’t upgrade this space. There’s got to be room in the broom closet on the other side of this. You and I barely fit.”
Vincent took a sip of his beer and stared at Carrie. “I like a good cave.”
“Ha,” Carrie laughed, “I get it. Bears like caves.
Vincent gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Where is she, Carrie?”
Carrie sighed and sat down. “I can’t tell you that yet Vincent, we need to talk first.” Vincent’s grip tightened on his beer, but he remained silent so Carrie began, “She finally knows she’s your mate?”
Vincent turned to give her a “duh” stare. “I assume Jane has vented the entire situation to you.”
Carrie straightened up, ready to defend her friend. “No, actually, Jane didn’t blab the whole story to me. She was crying and very upset and I gathered it was over your relationship. Being a formerly mated werebear myself, I deduced the situation. Xavier and I have been watching and waiting for you to tell her for months now, why did you wait so long?” Carrie finished with concern.
Vincent spun his bottle round and round and considered. Carrie was his cousin and they’d known each other their entire lives. She had been one of the first cubs he was friends with to mate and because of this, they spent a good fifty years apart, meeting only occasionally at family events or the random group night out. But after her mate died and she had remained alive and healthy, Vincent had been the first to step up and offer her a place to work, live, and (they both knew it) hide. The werebear community was always wary of a mating that resulted in one mate outliving the other, most often it was the surviving mate who was the worst off; many committed suicide because they couldn’t deal with the reality.
So Vincent decided to be honest with this woman; a woman who was strong and proud and a special part of his life. “I didn’t want it, I didn’t want to find my mate. Not yet anyway. I know it’s wrong to say, but I had a plan for my life and I had a lot more to deal with before I was ready to settle down. And, to be honest, I wasn’t expecting it to be a human.” Vincent laughed at himself, “Jane was right, I sound childish,” Vincent finished, running a hand through his hair.
Carrie tapped her fingers on the table, letting his words sink past her pain. “I, uh,” Carrie cleared her throat before beginning again, “I didn’t want my mate when I found him either.” Carrie looked up and checked Vincent’s reaction, but he was just looking at her curiously, no judgment. “I was young, he,” Carrie swallowed again, she still couldn’t say his name, even after two years, “he was older. He had been hoping to find his mate and I thought I would have time to sow my wild oats. I tried to fight it for longer than anyone knew. But, when I gave in... it was the most wonderful thing you could imagine. Giving yourself over to a love like that...” Carrie looked up at Vincent with tears in her eyes. “It isn’t a burden Vincent. It’s the opposite. Jane will be a partner who will share your stress, your pain, as well as your love and happiness. Don’t fight it. Mating is a gift that weres have that the humans don’t. See it for the gift it is and let yourself be changed for the better because of it.” Carrie reached out and took Vincent’s hand. “I’m going to leave you to think it over. I love you both, but I need some space right now. It’s still difficult for me.”
Vincent pulled Carrie in and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Carrie gave him a small smile of thanks in return and squeezed his hand before leaving the room. Vincent watched her go and opened another beer to ponder his situation. Two women he respected were mirroring his choices and he had to admit that he didn’t like what he saw. Vincent had built a context around his life in which he was the victim. He had it that he was bombarded with expectations and he was doing all he could to meet them. However, after his last two conversations with the people he loved, Vincent had to admit that he could see their point. Even his father had commented that he was fighting his role in the clan rather than accepting it. Vincent could see how he’d lived the last few years of his life trying to avoid taking authority in any position he had been asked to fulfill. Being Jane’s mate was simply the tipping point in the long list because she was the one he cared about most.
He sat up straight as he realized that, in that line of thought, he admitted that he loved her. It wasn’t just a biological thing or a twist of fate, Vincent loved that curvy, smart, caring woman. He loved her for her. So why was he sitting here wasting time?
“Carrie!” Vincent shouted running from the room. He came out to the entrance to Midnight Ink just as Carrie was pulling on her leather jacket. “Carrie, where is she? Please, I need to see her.”
Carrie raised an eyebrow in response.
“Carrie, I love her. I’m ready to love her,” Vincent answered in desperation.
Carrie pulled a key card from her pocket, handing it to Vincent. “She’s in the penthouse.”
Vincent moved in and gave Carrie a big smacking kiss on the lips. “Thank you,” he said before moving past her and out the entrance.
He headed straight to the bank of elevators and pressed the up button. Vincent cut off an older couple with fanny packs and a group of college students who already looked drunk on their feet. Stepping into the elevator he announced, “I’m sorry, there’s an emergency,” as he keyed in the admin code into the elevator. The doors swung shut and he pressed the P for penthouse and, thanks to the admin code, he was shot straight to his destination.
The door dinged and Vincent stepped out into a small annex that held a mirror, potted plant, and a few pieces of good art. Shaking out his hands, he stepped to the door that led to the penthouse and gave a knock. Jane must have opened the door without looking because she was holding a pint of ice cream and an opened bottle of wine. Her tear-streaked face fell when she saw that it was him instead of Carrie.
Jane stood in the doorway looking wary so Vincent asked, “Can I come in?”
Jane looked at him for a long moment before nudging the door wide and turning her back on him. Vincent followed her into the massive suite. He knew there was a pool and a hot tub somewhere, as well as a movie theatre room, but the space he moved into had a ceiling two stories high and the outside wall was made entirely of glass. It felt like they were standing on the top of the world. On the big screen TV the movie “When Harry Met Sally” was paused and there was a scattering of chocolate, chips, and alcohol waiting for the sleepover Jane had been expecting.
Jane turned toward him after setting down the wine, her arms were crossed over her chest and she looked pissed in her zebra print pjs and fuzzy bunny slippers. “What do you have to say, Vincent? Because I thought I had made it pretty clear that I was leaving. At least for the night,” she finished scuffing the floor with a pink bunny.
Vincent started to move forward, but Jane moved back a step in response so Vincent stopped moving. It wasn’t going to be that easy. “I came to apologize Jane. I came to explain,” he started. “You helped me see my life for what it is. I’ve been scared to live for years now. I’ve been scared to take the leap into my role within the clan. I’ve been scared to move beyond the world I had built for myself as a young cub. Finding you and being with you showed me what being a mate could mean.”
Vincent stepped forward again and this time, Jane stood her ground. He was heartened by the response and continued, “Jane, I was an idiot. I spent all this time with you thinking that what was between us was only a biological connection; a function of my hormones that forced me to be with you. Carrie helped me to see that what I was fighting was the best part of my life; the most miraculous thing about being a werebear. Being mated is not being forced to be with you, it’s the gift that shows me who you are so I can get on with loving you right from the start
. I love you for who you are. You are the person who helps me live life, you are the person who brings me joy and gives me love. Forgive me, Jane, say you’ll stay with me.”
Vincent moved further forward, opening his arms in a question. Jane stared at the outstretched muscles and hands and thought hard about going into them. The physical part of her wanted to run into them without thinking, but Vincent had gathered his thoughts and she owed him the same respect. If she went into his arms, she was accepting this life. She would be a part of the werebear clan. Someday, she would be its leader’s wife. But most of all, Jane would be saying yes to this man forever and just this man.
When she thought of it that way, the answer was obvious. She gave Vincent a brilliant smile and ran into his arms. Vincent gathered her in a possessive kiss as tears streamed down her face. “I love you Vincent, you big dumb man. I love you so much,” Jane said between kisses.
Vincent laughed. “You know this is like the end of the movie.”
Jane leaned back in his arms and quirked an eyebrow. Vincent rolled his eyes with a smile. “The end of 'When Harry Met Sally' where Harry tells Sally that when he realized he loved her, he wanted his life to start right away. That’s what I want, my love, I want my life to begin with you.”