by Robyn Carr
“I have a better idea,” Owen said. “Let’s all go and throw together some dinner. I think it’s almost wine time.”
“What can I make?” she asked, trying to think of what she had.
“Let’s have a look through your refrigerator and see what’s there. I’ll cook,” Owen said.
It turned out a little help was needed from Owen’s kitchen in the barn. He concocted some chicken and pasta dish with a creamy pesto sauce, spinach, sun-dried tomatoes and mushrooms. Hannah was nearly drooling but she was sure she’d have to make Noah a grilled cheese.
But, of course, Noah loved it because Owen made it. And he told them, “My mom used to put spinach and other vegetables in everything. This is so good. It’s reminding me of her.”
After dinner Noah played with Romeo in the yard while the May sun hovered just above the Rockies. Owen and Hannah sat on the porch, trying to digest another wonderful meal. Then Noah came up on the porch and slumped against Hannah, yawning.
“Oh, no, you don’t, young man! You’re not falling asleep without a bath again. Let’s get you cleaned up, teeth brushed and in your pajamas...”
“I can’t,” he said with a whine.
“We’re getting it done even if I have to hold the toothbrush!” she said, lifting him. “You gained weight today!”
“I’ll clean up the kitchen while you get bedtime rolling,” Owen said.
Noah was so tired Hannah had to practically hold his head out of the bath to keep him from drowning. She did have to hold the toothbrush, but she got him into clean jammies and into bed. He was yawning big before she kissed him. “I love you, Noah,” she whispered.
“I love you, too, Hannah,” he said. Then he was out.
When she got back to the porch, Owen held up a bottle of wine. “It’s not your bedtime yet, is it?”
* * *
Late that night, much too late, she texted Kate asking if she was awake. Her cell phone rang immediately.
“Everything okay?” Kate asked.
“Oh, Kate, this is the best thing I’ve ever done. Noah is so happy, completely worn-out, his cheeks pink from sunshine, his laughter is quick and crazy. There is this wonderful man here with a big lovable dog named Romeo who adores Noah—the dog, I mean. Although Owen loves him, too. He took us to get wet suits today because swimming will be good for Noah and the lake is too cold and...and he’s so nice.”
“Oh, boy,” Kate said.
“I’m okay,” Hannah said. “It’s not romantic. But I’ve never met anyone like him in my life. I can’t wait to tell you about him. He’s sort of famous. Also, he’s kind of shy. He’s published these books. Wonderful, amazing books. I never imagined Noah and I would run into someone like this...”
* * *
The days became a kind of fluid beauty for Hannah. Noah rarely woke up during the night and when he did, he was able to go back to sleep. He cuddled a lot, especially if he was a little tired. He woke up each morning filled with excitement, anxious to get his playmates across the yard moving. A couple of mornings Romeo found deer in the yard and chased them. Once there was a buck and he briefly turned on the Great Dane, though he didn’t get too near, but Romeo yelped and ran as though he’d been gored, causing Noah and Owen to laugh wildly.
The wet suits arrived and Noah and Owen got right into them. They donned their rubber shoes, waded into the lake, and within a half hour Noah was swimming! They didn’t wear flippers because Owen had read that learning to kick using the power of his ankles was better for building strength and stretching out tendons. Hannah couldn’t get Noah out for two hours, and then only long enough for a brief rest and a lunch break, and then he was begging to go back in.
In the afternoons, Hannah read to Noah in the hammock. What she learned right away was that Noah had some powerful reading skills. When she asked him how long he’d been reading he couldn’t exactly remember. “I didn’t play outside as much as the other kids,” he said.
On an early-May morning they woke up to a gentle rain and Noah begged and begged to go swimming. Hannah was firm that he could wait at least until the sun came out. Since Owen had explained about Helen Culver’s occupation as a writer and since Hannah already knew about Helen’s experience “inheriting” her niece, she thought maybe that rainy morning might be a good time to pay a visit to the Crossing. “Let’s go to Sully’s and you can say hello to Beau,” she suggested. “Owen, do you want to come along? I’ll just stay an hour or two if Helen isn’t too busy.”
Owen decided that the time would give him a chance to concentrate on some of his work. Hannah stuffed her backpack with diversions for Noah—his tablet, a couple of games, crayons and pens.
“Well, look here, the rain brings you out again,” Sully said when she walked into the store. “How’s the vacation going, young man?”
“We have wet suits and we can swim in them without freezing our nuts off,” he said.
Hannah put her hand over her mouth. “I’ll, ah, speak to Owen about his choice of words.”
“Sounds like it’s accurate enough,” Sully said. “We men tend to speak our minds around these parts.”
“Can I play with Beau?” Noah asked.
“As long as you don’t let him out. There’s no dog I know who loves rain and mud like this one and I’m not in the mood to wash him. I have an idea. You want to brush him for me? Unload about ten pounds of hair?”
“I could maybe do that,” he said.
“On the porch, then,” Sully said. “And don’t you let him in the yard.”
“Do you think I could interrupt Helen’s writing?” Hannah asked. “I’ve been wanting to talk with her.”
“She’d prolly welcome it,” Sully said. “At least the people she’s killing off in that book will be grateful.”
“Do you mind if Noah stays with you and Beau for just a little while?”
“I’d be real happy about that,” he said. Hannah shrugged out of her backpack, handing it to Sully. “Well, now, I know there’s no bottles or diapers in here, so what’ve we got?”
“Games and stuff,” Noah said with a little giggle. “To keep me busy.”
“I see,” Sully said. “If you brush the dog, then you can maybe teach me one of these games.”
“I could do that,” he said.
* * *
Helen looked up from her computer and smiled at Hannah. “I was hoping you were coming for a visit.”
“Are you in the thick of it? Your story?”
“Ach, it’s the most boring story I’ve ever written. At the moment, at least. How is your vacation so far?” Helen closed her laptop and indicated the other chair at her small table.
Hannah sat down. “Magic,” she said. “I’ve never seen Noah so happy. I was so afraid that no matter what I did, he might never be happy again.”
“There will still be those days,” Helen said. “Right now he’s too busy to dwell, but that longing for his mother will come and go. You’re right to enjoy these days. And your color is so good, too. You’ve been spending lots of time outdoors, haven’t you?”
Hannah told her everything they’d been doing from swimming to piggyback hiking, ice-cream sundaes at Rob Shandon’s pub.
“Rob is married to my niece,” Helen said. “That makes him like a son-in-law.”
“My God, this whole town is connected!”
“Talk about a family tree...” Helen said.
“And Noah is taking pictures now. Owen gave him an old camera and showed him how to focus and shoot. Then they look at his pictures on the computer and he’s thrilled.”
“Isn’t Owen the loveliest man?” Helen asked. “The second I met him, I knew he was special. I love talking to him about his travels, about his accidental success. Well,” she laughed. “Accidental in that he didn’t plan it or expect it but when you look at those books of his, read his descr
iptive prose, it’s unsurprising. It was bound to happen. He has the heart of an angel.”
“I know! I admit, I’m thoroughly captivated! He’s made such a difference in Noah’s life. And mine! He seems like such a pure soul. But, Helen, I know you’ve been in my shoes—will you please give me your three or four strongest tips for learning to be a sudden mother? My friend Erin, though a single, working mother, was the most wonderful mother I’ve ever known. There’s no way I can ever measure up!”
“Oh, you’ll do fine. I had to build a network, not just so I could survive, but so Leigh had connections, too. Neighbors, mostly. I had to get cozy with her teachers, making sure they all knew it was just the two of us.”
“I have two other best friends who aren’t far away. They were also close to Erin and Noah. They promise to help and they have kids who are great with Noah. And I’ll get him going on a new physical therapy program. Although, if Owen has his way, Noah will be walking on his own before we leave.”
“I have something important to tell you, something I struggled with. You must always remember Noah’s mother’s death wasn’t your fault. He’ll need sympathy and reassurance but don’t let a cloud of guilt cause you to make bad decisions. Don’t overindulge or let him get away with being naughty just because you feel bad for him. That won’t help him. And my best advice—tell him you love him often but also tell him how much you want him. You miss his mom, too, but what a gift she gave you.”
“Yes,” Hannah said. “The first week I lived with this gift, that first terror-stricken week, all I could think about was how impossible it would be. By the end of that first week, after cuddling him at night a few times, after watching him soldier on despite how much it hurt, I knew I couldn’t live without him. How does a person fall in love with a child that fast? A child not even my own?”
“Doesn’t take long for that child to become yours, does it? Takes about twenty-four hours and you need that child as much as he needs you.”
“I didn’t realize...”
“Sadly, that’s not always the case. Some people don’t bond with their children, even the children that came out of their own bodies. I count myself so lucky in that regard. It was very hard at times but I was so lucky to fall in love with the child I would raise.”
Hannah remembered. She always felt her mother didn’t love her. There was a coolness about her when she dealt with Hannah. She always felt it was because she was adopted and didn’t look like her sisters. Hannah grew up being the least loved in the household, the only one with a different last name. She was resented and she knew it; she’d always known it. She had felt it long before she could put a definition to it.
It was not going to be like that for Noah. She would be his champion. No matter what it took.
“How did you manage a full-time job?”
“So much juggling. I was close with my neighbor who was a stay-at-home mom. On those occasions Leigh had to stay home with a cold or flu, my neighbor would look after her. Sometimes Leigh came to my classroom in the late afternoon. Oh, hell, she went everywhere with me. When she was a little older, she could go to a friend’s house after school. There was a lot of trial and error the first couple of years while we were figuring things out. Keep an open mind, Hannah. New ideas will present themselves.”
“I bet you were wonderful fun to grow up with,” Hannah said.
“On some days,” Helen said. “Are you doing all right, girl? You look like you’re happy.”
“I dread going back to the real world. But that’s where my network is. This has been like a fantasy.”
“Let’s walk over to the store and let Sully feed us.” Helen hooked her arm through Hannah’s. “A lot of us live here full-time, you know. And it might seem like a fantasy but I guarantee you it’s real life. It’s also real nice. I even made it through winter and I hate winter.”
“What’s winter like here?”
“Not too bad,” she said. “Don’t tell Sully I said that. It will take all the starch out of my complaining.”
“He dotes on you,” Hannah said.
“Oh, yes. And all winter he dotes more, bringing in firewood and making soups. He only knows four soups, by the way. And they’re a lot alike. This next winter we’re going to find some new recipes so I don’t go bat shit crazy.”
When they got to the store’s porch, Sully and Noah were sitting at a table playing checkers. And it looked like Noah was winning.
* * *
Owen was all too aware that he was counting the days. Counting down, actually. At first he was thinking they had ten days left and that seemed like plenty. Then it was seven. Then it was five.
From the first moment he saw Hannah, he was smitten and the more time he spent with her, the more he was intrigued. Her skin bronzed up at once, glowing in the warm Colorado sunshine. She had some freckles on her cheeks that made her look fresh-faced. She wore no makeup and pulled her hair back in a simple ponytail, and when she let it loose, it fell below her shoulders. She was beautiful, long-legged and athletic. Her smile was contagious, her laugh loud and unrestrained.
Every day they swam, hiked, took pictures, looked at the pictures they’d taken. Hannah and Noah read together every afternoon, often in the hammock. They all went to the market together and got ice cream. They had breakfast, lunch and dinner together. Then he would sit on the porch with Hannah after Noah went to bed. He wasn’t sure what part of each day and night he loved the most.
Sheila called him late one night just as he was getting ready to turn in. “How was Taiwan, Owen?”
“Oh, Sheila, I guess I should have called you. I never thought... My trip was canceled. Severe flooding. At first they wanted to delay it five days, but I couldn’t see making the effort then.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said. “Did it cost you a fortune?”
“Nah, I’ve learned to always insure the trips. The places I like to go are sometimes isolated and inhospitable.”
“What’s your next trip, then?” she asked.
“This is the best. Hang Son Doong, the largest underground cave in the world. Vietnam. I’m going on an expedition. I’ll be gone two weeks, about one week in the cave. Look it up sometime—it’s amazing.”
“Didn’t you have someone renting the house?”
“I didn’t cancel them,” he said. “I’ve been staying in the barn. And I’m glad I didn’t cancel—they needed this place. It’s a young woman and her boy. They’re in a challenging place—his mother was her best friend and she passed away suddenly. They’ve known each other, the boy and Hannah, but he’s only five and on top of that he has a mild case of CP affecting both legs. Smart as a whip, this kid. Romeo has been helping him adjust to what will be a new life.”
“And are you helping them adjust, Owen?” she asked.
“He’s a brilliant, hilarious kid,” Owen said. “Kind of reminds me of someone. You know?”
“We’ll always miss him,” she said. “That’s something we’ll live with forever.”
He laughed, though not with humor. “You do it so much more gracefully than I do. I buried myself inside myself.”
“I don’t know that I’d consider my coping graceful. I became a roaring dragon. As for you, it sounds like at the moment you’re not buried,” she pointed out. “Rather, you seem to be surfacing a bit.”
“Noah probably brings that out,” he said. “He’s so alive. So funny and engaging. Despite his vulnerability, his neediness, he might be the strongest one of us on the property.”
“I’d say we’ve come a long way, both of us. And what’s she like, Owen?” Sheila asked.
“When we first met, she’d only had Noah for a few weeks and she was still on shaky ground, trying to figure out how to be a mother. She’s a single woman and though she’d promised her friend, this was the last thing she expected. This little retreat has been good for them
. I can see the difference in her confidence already.”
“How much longer will they stay?”
“Five more days,” he said. He wondered if his voice lowered in some despair. “She lives in Minneapolis.”
Sheila was quiet for a moment. “Maybe they’ll decide to stay a little longer. Since it’s working out to be good for both of them.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “She keeps talking about all the details she has to get in order so she and Noah can get back to school and work and, you know, real life.”
Sheila laughed. “Sometimes real life is way overrated.”
And sometimes real life is what and where you make it, he thought. “How are Lucas and your girls?”
“Lucas works too hard on the foundation, but he’s getting so much accomplished. And the girls are busy and happy. We should book some time at your cabin and come for a visit. Soon.”
“Sheila,” he said with a laugh. “What kind of woman visits her ex-husband? With her new husband?”
“It takes a special ex-husband,” she said. “Listen, this woman and her boy—”
“Hannah,” he said. “Hannah and Noah.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t let them get away. Life’s short.”
“I know. Listen, I was just getting into bed but I’m glad we got to talk.”
“Ah. That’s Owen telling Sheila to mind her own business.”
“Not at all. Say hello to Lucas for me. Tell him to slow down—the work will never go away.”
“Speaking of work, are you getting any good pictures lately?”
“Fantastic pictures,” he said. “I’ll email you some. No, wait—I’ll email you some after the cave.”
“Sounds great, Owen. Take care of yourself.”
“Absolutely.”
He had been getting some great pictures. Noah swimming beside Romeo. Hannah in the hammock with a book, one leg out to push her into a slight sway. Hannah with some hair blowing across her face. Hannah and Noah with ice-cream cones, laughing, ice cream on their noses. A selfie with Hannah and Noah. Noah pitching the ball to Romeo. Noah sleeping against Romeo’s belly.