by Robyn Carr
“Like men will,” she said, just shaking her head. She ran her fingers through the longish hair at his temples. It was threaded with a little gray. No wonder Cal and Owen took to each other, seemed to be ready friends. They’d plowed their ways through difficult losses and not only survived, they’d come through very well. “I would love to have them to dinner but I can only seem to cook hamburgers and mac and cheese.”
“I know,” he said. “You’re very good with salad. Maybe you can add that. And I’ll do the rest.”
Owen took it upon himself to choose a day with Cal that Maggie would be in Timberlake so the two families could get together. Until then, Hannah and Noah were resuming their schedule—four mornings a week. Twice they would go to Aurora to the physical therapist and twice to the counselor. With Hannah and Owen continuing the PT at home the rest of the week, the therapist thought Noah was in excellent shape for his condition. And the psychologist pronounced him to be very stable for a child who had just lost a parent a few months ago. Of course, he was still dealing with grief but he was doing so in a loving family.
It was not lost on Hannah that Owen was busy in his shop when she was returning with Noah. He always made time to play—to swim, hike, throw a ball, whatever activity Noah wanted. But clearly he had work to do.
“Let me see if I can help you a little, then we’ll play,” Hannah said.
“I don’t think there’s any way for you to help, but thanks.”
“You never know,” she said. “What’s going on?”
“I’m transferring some photos onto other mediums for a gallery—canvas, wood, glass. And I’m going to try one large transfer that I’ll do in pieces.”
“Okay, I’ll empty trash, clean up and do whatever you want me to do. Noah, come over here a little out of the way and go through your pictures or color on your computer.”
“I’ve got a couple of transfers that are dry. I’ll show you what to do and you can rub off the backings. It’s very tedious,” he said.
“Sounds like work I specialize in,” she said with a smile.
At some point while they were working, Noah went to lie down on Owen’s bed and Romeo curled around him. They both fell asleep. Hannah cautiously and meticulously rubbed the paper backing off a photo transfer onto canvas while Owen was going through photo collections on his computer. He asked her opinion a couple of times and she fearlessly gave it. Once he said, “Yes, right,” and once he said, “Nah, not that one.” Whether or not he took her advice, she was thrilled to be asked.
Later that night when they were watching the moonrise over the lake from the front porch, she told him how much she enjoyed working in his shop, helping him. “You must promise to tell me if I’m in your way and less than helpful. You’re used to working on your own without anyone else in your way.”
Then she suggested transferring one of his trees onto a tall, slim pottery vase and he loved it. The tree was black, leafless, spindly with branches like long fingers and it was stunning when finished. It was easy, inexpensive and very artsy. He signed it in black ink.
“I think I’ve been working alone just about long enough,” he said.
And, with that, Hannah took her place beside Owen in his shop, helping. Not all day, of course. She had her own chores as well as tending Noah and his regular appointments. He brought her a picture he’d drawn in his counseling session—a very tall man, a woman, a child with crutches, an enormous dog and up in the sky, above a tree, a small, smiling angel.
“Noah, this is so beautiful,” she said. “We’re going to have to frame it, save it forever. Is that angel someone I know?”
“My mom,” he said. “I think she’s happy. I think Romeo is happy.”
“I know I’m happy,” Hannah said. “I miss your mom very much, but I’m still happy. Because of you, I think. You make every day special.”
“And Owen?” he asked.
“I’m sure Owen is happy. You can ask him, though,” she said.
“No, you,” he emphasized. “Are you happy with Owen? Because you guys kiss a lot.”
She laughed. “I guess it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m so happy with Owen. He’s a very good man.”
“And a very good boyfriend?” Noah asked.
“He’s an excellent boyfriend,” she assured him.
“But, Hannah? Sometimes I want her to be here so much I can’t even talk,” he said.
“That’s okay, buddy. That happens to me all the time, too. And sometimes I just talk to her anyway, like she’s right next to me.”
“Out loud?” he asked. “Right out loud?”
“Uh-huh. And sometimes right in my head. I think she is listening either way.”
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head. “She doesn’t talk back. She did that one time, but only that one time.”
Hannah was taken by surprise momentarily but hoped it didn’t show. “And when was that, honey?”
“Oh, it was... I was taking a nap with Romeo but I didn’t get all the way asleep and she was sitting right on the bed, petting his head. And she said, ‘I like this dog, Noah. I’m glad you’re friends. Be very brave and remember to always be kind.’ And then she said, ‘I love you, close your eyes.’ So I did and when I woke up, she was back in heaven. Is that okay, Hannah? That she was right on my bed?”
She fought tears. “I think that’s wonderful,” she said in a choked whisper. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Maybe she’ll come to your bed,” Noah said.
A huff of laughter came through her tears. Wouldn’t that surprise Owen, she thought. Or maybe it would surprise Erin? “I’ll be sure to tell you if I see her or dream of her. I promise. And I have an idea! We should make some cobbler for dessert one of these days, just like your mom used to do. Mine might not be as good as hers, but I’ll try. Would that be nice?”
“Peach?” he asked.
“I’ll have to find peaches. It might be a little early for them, but I’ll look.”
“That would be good.”
Late that night while they hovered under the covers, Hannah shared that conversation with Owen. He drew back and chuckled. “Maybe I should put my pants on?” he asked.
“Erin is very discreet,” Hannah said. “She’d never peek.”
* * *
A few days later they had Cal and his family over. They didn’t talk about the custody issue during dinner but when Noah and Elizabeth, watched over by Romeo, were settled with a movie and they moved their party onto the porch with nightcaps, Hannah asked if he had heard anything.
“I haven’t been holding out on you,” Cal said. “Late this afternoon the judge in the Minneapolis family court threw out the custody case, dismissed it for lack of standing. What that means is he wasn’t going to overrule another court, especially since you and Noah weren’t present. That’s done. This issue might not be completely resolved. Mrs. Addison asked how she was to go about finding out where her grandson was. The judge said her lawyer could walk her through that process. We’ll face that if we have to. Meanwhile, do you know Roger Addison or his mother?”
“I met Erin’s mother once, very briefly, years ago. I’ve never met Roger. And Erin’s stepfather is deceased. Why?”
“I’ve been looking into Roger Addison’s criminal history and it’s ugly, starting when he was a minor. He is a serial felon and has served time for battery, fraud, felony drug possession and theft. But his arrest record is worse—those are crimes he was indicted for but not convicted of. Armed robbery, more battery, rape, more theft. Young Mr. Addison, a mere thirty years old, is a criminal. And not a very good one. From the time he was fourteen till the age of twenty-six. He hasn’t had any run-ins with the police in the last few years. He’s either getting better at his crimes or has cleaned up his act. He’s been steadily employed, though in a number of different jobs, and no recent arrests.
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“I checked Mrs. Addison’s background and she appears to have a clean record. That doesn’t mean she’s a good person, but if she has committed crimes, she hasn’t been caught. And yes, she’s been very supportive of her son, paying bail money, drug treatment, et cetera.”
Hannah looked over her shoulder, making sure the kids weren’t in the doorway. “She’s not a good person,” Hannah said. “She hasn’t even asked about Noah. None of us have heard from her. I don’t know how anyone can think she has Noah’s best interests at heart. But it’s Roger who scares me and I don’t even know him. He’s the main reason Erin moved to Madison—she was done putting up with him taking advantage of anyone when he was in trouble. She and her mother would fight when Erin refused to help him. It was a complicated family. Their last blowout was before Noah was born. Which is why Erin has always been so adamant about how Noah should live. And with whom.”
“Roger Addison’s name doesn’t appear on Mrs. Addison’s court documents, but given what Erin described about their relationship, he might be driving the notion of custody for money. If you hear from either of them, refer them to me and hang up. If you see either of them around, call the police and then me.”
“I don’t think I’d even recognize either one of them! And what am I supposed to tell the police they’ve done? Given me the willies?”
“I’ll text you a couple of photos and I’ll tell Stan I’m representing you in a custody case with a woman who has personal ties to a felon who has a long criminal history. Roger Addison might be hoping if his mother can get custody and control of that trust, the money will somehow flow to him. Or maybe he thinks he’s smart enough to talk her out of it. It wouldn’t be the first time a delinquent kid out-conned his parents. I’m just being cautious, Hannah. I’ve handled custody cases that involved people with criminal histories before and it can get treacherous. It’s hard for me to believe that a woman who was completely estranged from her daughter and has no relationship with her grandson wants custody of him. There’s more to it. I don’t want to be right, by the way. I’d rather this just fizzle out.”
“Me, too,” Hannah said. “I asked Noah if he’d ever met his grandmother and he said he couldn’t remember. There’s obviously no history there.”
“Enjoy your summer and pay attention to anything unusual. Let me know if you’re contacted.”
* * *
A couple of days later they were all together again when Owen, Hannah, Noah and Romeo went to the Crossing for a Fourth of July picnic potluck.
“I apologize for bringing a Great Dane to the party but Romeo doesn’t enjoy the sound of fireworks when he’s home alone. He’s counting on Noah to protect him,” Owen said.
“I’m glad you brought him,” Sully replied. “The Fourth of July gets some of these animals all riled and sends them on the run. Connie and Sierra brought fireworks, like usual. The kids love ’em even if the dogs don’t.”
Cal’s sister Sierra and her husband, Connie, also brought their two little ones, a little boy they had adopted and a little girl about a year old who had been their surprise biological baby. Hannah made a mental note to talk to Sierra about adoption when there weren’t so many people around.
During the afternoon at the Crossing, Maggie and Hannah talked about Hannah’s job and when her family leave would expire. Being a neurosurgeon, Maggie understood the role of a sales rep of medical equipment quite well.
“My leave expires in September,” Hannah said. “The problem is sales involves a lot of long days and travel. As you would know, we spend a lot of time with radiologists, surgeons, ER docs and other MDs who use our equipment. We take them out to dinner to discuss how to better meet their needs, follow them into surgery and treatment, confer with them constantly and... Well, I don’t think those long days and a lot of travel are going to work out for me. I’m no longer a woman alone.”
“I was thinking about that,” Maggie said. “Have you thought about working in a hospital or clinic? It probably wouldn’t pay as well, but you never know until you look around.”
“That’s an idea,” Hannah said. “I’m looking for a change.”
* * *
A few days later, Owen mentioned his upcoming trip. “It’s time for me to get ready for Vietnam. If you’re at all uncomfortable being here by yourself, just say so. I can reschedule.”
“I can’t let you do that,” Hannah said. “Not only are you looking forward to the trip, I’m excited to see the pictures when you’re home!”
“Things are a little rocky right now,” he said. “It’s uncertain with the Addisons.”
“A bit, but so far Mrs. Addison has been taking her issues to court and for that I have Cal and Judd.”
“I’m going to talk to Cal again before I leave,” Owen said. “If there’s any word from them, consider staying with friends for a few days. There are plenty who would welcome you—Cal and Maggie, Leigh and Rob, Helen and Sully.”
“Please don’t worry,” she said.
“I’m not going to be able to be in touch when I’m in the cave.”
“Owen, I’ll be very cautious. And Noah won’t be outside alone for one second. Not even on the porch. And by not alone, I won’t leave Romeo in charge. But I bet he’d come in real handy if any uninvited guests showed up.”
“He’s never been put in the position of protector...”
“And hopefully he won’t have to be the protector, but he looks huge without even trying.” She reached up to palm his cheek. After his experience with his own son, of course he would be feeling nervous. “We’re going to miss you but we want you to explore that cave.”
“While I’m gone, think about something,” he said. “I don’t want to make you feel rushed or cornered or pressured but I want you to know, this works for me. I’m ready. Finally. Ready for a family. You don’t have to worry about a job. Not for money anyway. If you want to work because it feels good to be productive, there must be something around here that can fill that space. I love you. I want you and Noah to stay.”
“What about my house?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Rent it? Sell it? Let it sit for six months or a year while you give yourself time to be sure? While you see if this is as good as it feels? I’ll pay the mortgage.”
“Owen, you’re acting a little crazy...”
“Hannah, I’m pretty well-off,” he said. “It’s meaningless without a family. Shit, I was trying not to say anything that would pressure you.”
She laughed a little. “Owen, the last few months have been lifesaving for me because of you. I’m facing a whole new life with Noah and because of you, it’s been sane and manageable. I worry about taking advantage of you. But since I’ve been helping in the studio a little bit, I’m less worried about that.”
“Will you think about this while I’m gone?”
“As soon as you tell me what ‘this’ is,” she said.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “It’s whatever you want it to be. It can be just like it is now, two people sharing a house, a dog and a boy...”
“And having fabulous sex,” she added.
He grinned. “It can be a commitment, if you want. Or when you want that—I’m not in any great rush as long as you’re staying. It can be a commitment with an agreement that Noah’s trust will be managed only by you—we seem to be up to our necks in lawyers if we need documents drawn to protect you and Noah. ‘This’ can be us being a team that works together. Anything you say.”
“I will think about all of that, yes,” she said. “I want you to go to the biggest cave ever. And we’ll work on this project when you’re home.”
“Will you be lonely?” he asked.
“I’ll miss you just awful but I have PT, counseling, an active boy and dog and brand-new friendships. Maybe we’ll finish reading Treasure Island. I’ll be too busy to be lonely.”
He pushed her hair behind her ear. “I think you belong here.”
There is no doubt that it is around
the family and the home that all
the greatest virtues...are created,
strengthened and maintained.
—Winston Churchill
9
A feeling of belonging had long been an issue with Hannah, but she hadn’t quite realized it until Owen said it. Was it a place? A person? Was it a talent or profession? A group like the First Baptist Church, AA or the Boston Pops? The first time she was conscious of not belonging had been when she was about six and her mother had the second of her two new daughters and someone said, “Hannah’s not even the same color, is she?” Hannah’s hair and eyes were brown to their white blond and blue. Her skin tone was slightly more tan and rosy than her sisters’, who were ivory. And, of course, Hannah was adopted, but there were good records—she was supposed to be of French, German, Danish and Portuguese descent. Yet she’d always felt different. And why should she trust biological parents who gave her away? They might have tossed out some nationalities without knowing anything.
Owen wanted her to think about staying...with him. And she would. She couldn’t help it; she could think of little else. But she was also going to think about belonging in a larger sense, like what she was committed to and what and who was committed to her.
Owen left early in the morning but even though the sun was barely up, he wouldn’t leave without kissing Noah goodbye. “I’ll be back in ten days,” he said. “Will you take good care of Romeo?”
“I can do that,” Noah said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
“Remember, when you leave him home, tell him how long you’ll be gone.”
“Sure, okay,” he said.
Owen rubbed the big dog’s head. “You take care of Noah,” he told the dog. “I’m counting on you.”