by Jason Kenyon
‘Oaf, I am Archimegadon!’ Archimegadon said. ‘Single-handedly I have destroyed this threat…’ He remembered that his usual speech didn’t quite work here. ‘Ah… that is… with noble companions… this farmstead has been freed.’
The three companions before him exchanged sad looks.
‘Well, celebrate!’ Archimegadon said. He didn’t feel that this was working terribly well.
‘There’s a pub back this way,’ Mortimyr said, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder.
‘Farewell, travellers,’ Archimegadon said as they left without a word. ‘If you are ever in need of future aid, remember to call on Archimegadon.’
There was no response. Archimegadon remembered something.
‘I’m a Mage for Hire!’ he yelled. ‘Cheap rates if you book me for three quests!’
‘I’ll pay you to shut up,’ Obdo said, appearing suddenly at his side.
‘Ah, you,’ Archimegadon said. He pursed his lips. ‘I believe that this quest is somewhat complete. If you would be so kind as to pay me, I shall be on my way.’ He pointed in the direction of Mortimyr and his companions. If he could wheedle his way into their band, they would be useful for dispatching beasts that he could not, and for a while he would live the easy life. It had been done before.
‘Well, I’m not sure you killed it,’ Obdo said.
‘Child, do not doubt my power,’ Archimegadon said. ‘There are few beings on this earth who can match my skill. Those simple folk would have paid me as well, had they not spent it all on booze.’
‘You said they were your friends,’ Obdo said.
‘That does not preclude them from being simple!’ Archimegadon said.
‘I can believe you there,’ Obdo said. ‘How much was it again?’
‘One vallin, good sir.’
There were three types of coins in Valanthas. Relorans were rather nice shiny gold coins that rich people had plenty of, vallins were the regular type of coins that were somewhat dull grey coins, and the thick but rather worthless bronze coins were known as grobs.
‘It was fifty grobs before.’
‘Now look!’ Archimegadon said. ‘I thought you were being ravaged by wolves, not a vast hell spawn thing!’
‘If you please, I wasn’t being ravaged by anything,’ Obdo said.
‘Silence!’ Archimegadon looked around the stone platform. ‘I have to say, such things are not common. No, not at all. You haven’t been dabbling in the dark arts, have you? Bit of a necromancer on the side?’
‘By the gods, sir, you talk a lot of garbage!’ Obdo said. ‘Here, have two vallins, just to shut you up.’
‘A bribe, is it?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘Now I figure that you just took the credit for their job,’ Obdo replied in a measured tone. ‘I don’t think you’re much of a mage at all, in reality. This vallin here is a payment to save my soul.’
‘How so?’
‘Because if you don’t take it, I will push you in that ooze,’ Obdo replied. ‘And I don’t want a death on my hands. So I figure that you’d better choose wisely.’
‘Payment accepted,’ Archimegadon said quickly. ‘Remember, if you have just one more quest for me the rate becomes cheaper.’
‘Sod off,’ Obdo said, turning and striding back towards the farm.
‘Oaf,’ Archimegadon muttered at the farmhand’s back.
Silence settled over the valley. Archimegadon stood alone at the centre, staring at the two vallins in his hand. A fine bit of earning today, and less effort involved than he had expected after all. As befit the world’s greatest mage.
The presence of such a beast pestered him, but he supposed that that was life. A wolf one minute, a giant demon beast the next. Either way, they ended up the same when they went up against Archimegadon!
Mortimyr had mentioned a pub somewhere off in the direction ahead, and Archimegadon did not want to lose track of the knight and his companions. He waved his staff threateningly at Obdo, who was walking in the other direction anyway, and set off from the platform in search of glory and money.
Same as usual, then.
Chapter Two: Quests at the Inn
The path from the valley led into a densely wooded area that was lit only by the occasional sword of light that managed to cut its way through the thick ceiling of leaves. An old crumbled path swayed this way and that on its meandering trail between trees and bushes until it joined up with the main Central Way road that wound from one end of Valanthas to the other and beyond. Merchants usually could be found travelling down this road laden with all sorts of wares to sell to those in need or simply greedy, but today the road was largely full of solo travellers, either heading between towns for work or adventurers like Archimegadon.
Archimegadon himself didn’t much care for the other folk on the roads, for they were rarely willing to hire a mage like himself, partly because they were often in the same business. He didn’t care for merchants either, since they earned the money that he wanted for himself. There was little sign of Mortimyr, Terrill or Gelenn, but fortunately the travellers were moving away from or towards one particular spot, and from experience such a hive of activity would usually be a tavern of some sort. He checked behind himself just to be sure there weren’t two such destinations before heading off towards it.
Fortunately, on this occasion Archimegadon was right, and he beheld the Fox and Hart with a certain amount of relish. There were so many people clogging the tavern up that he would be sure to find somebody looking for a Mage for Hire, and hopefully the three who had helped him out earlier would be around to aid in filling his pockets. With a nod of certainty he pushed through the crowds and entered the tavern, using the Staff of Antagules to clear undesirables from his path.
Various scents filled his nostrils and he felt himself go a bit light-headed. Merchants travelling the Central Way had a habit of filling all available taverns with the strange spices and pipe weed that they had gleaned from foreign lands, and clearly a rather large amount was being peddled here. Archimegadon didn’t consider buying any. For one, it was too expensive. Equally a mage of his stature did not need to smoke a pipe to enjoy himself. Lastly, he could enjoy the effects simply by breathing in here.
Fortunately the tavern had the odd shadowed corner free, and Archimegadon settled down with foaming brew and watched the assorted travellers and their revels as he drank. He leant the Staff of Antagules at his side in plain view, so that anyone needing a powerful mage would know where to go. As for Mortimyr and his companions, Archimegadon could see no sign of them. It didn’t really matter all that much, although it would have been nice to have a little break from doing work himself.
A serving woman came over and picked up his empty jug of ale to take back to the bar. Archimegadon cleared his throat and she paused.
‘I’ll have another mug of the same, my good lady,’ he said, handing over a few coins. ‘I am a Mage for Hire,’ he added, dropping a couple more coins into her hand.
The woman winked. ‘I’ll be sure to mention it to a few people.’
She shoved through the crowds and was lost from sight. Archimegadon sat back and smiled to himself. Business as usual. Soon enough word would pass around, and then he would have streams of possible clients requesting his services. He usually calculated whether to take up quests using a simple formula – the money he would earn divided by the danger rating he gave it. If the resulting number was too low he would make his excuses and see to the next person in need of aid.
His next drink arrived and had nearly gone by the time somebody came over to see him. It was a fairly short man with eyeglasses that looked yellowed and cracked, but it seemed to give the fellow no trouble as he picked out the Staff of Antagules from afar and dodged through the hordes of drinkers. He settled on the other side of the table and looked between Archimegadon and the staff several times before speaking.
‘You are the Mage for Hire?’
‘I am indeed,’ Archimegadon replied, taking a war
y sip from his drink. This person did not look like the most trustworthy sort, though it didn’t really make much odds to Archimegadon in the end what type of person he was working for. It was their money that counted.
‘May I know with whom I am dealing?’ the man asked.
‘Only when I know who you are, sir,’ Archimegadon replied.
The man frowned and Archimegadon could see his eyes flash behind his befouled glasses, but the inner conflict was quickly fought and won and the man remained at the table. ‘I am Elsim Redrock, a clerk in the nearby city of Aldrack.’
‘I, sir, am Archimegadon!’ the mage said, his voice carrying unnoticed through the tavern, although Elsim could certainly hear him.
‘I see,’ Elsim said. ‘Well, we’re having a little bit of trouble. You see, there is a gang of thieves that has set up near Aldrack, and we need a little errand done.’
‘I would not call destroying a gang of thieves a little errand,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Oh, it isn’t that, sir,’ Elsim said. Archimegadon couldn’t help but be distracted by the man’s Adam’s apple, which was bobbing as though some creature was crawling around Elsim’s throat just under his skin, disturbing the bristles that the man had clearly missed when he had shaved the rest of his face. ‘I need you to take this item to a town called Melethas, where I believe there is a Mage School. Simply take it to the head mage, one Sen Delarian, and he will pay you.’
The mention of Sen Delarian embarrassed Archimegadon, for he remembered that Terrill had spoken of him earlier. Archimegadon still wasn’t sure he recognised the name, and it was a touch bemusing considering that Melethas’s Mage School was where he had been trained.
‘You have already made it halfway to Melethas,’ Archimegadon said to fill the silence that had surrounded him during his thoughts. ‘Apparently the thieves have not found you yet.’
‘Oh yes, but I would trust a mage far better than myself,’ Elsim said. ‘Your staff testifies to the gargantuan powers that you undoubtedly have, oh yes it does.’
Archimegadon eyed Elsim carefully to detect any trace of mockery, but the man did not so much as smirk. ‘What is this item, anyway?’ Archimegadon asked after a moment.
Elsim took out a piece of black cloth and unfolded it, removing a small amulet as he did so. He pushed it across the table towards Archimegadon, who looked over it with care. Such a magical object did not belong in the hands of a mere clerk, and it was a creepy thing to be sure. The swamp-green gem at the centre looked a little bit like an eye, and it felt as though it was staring at him.
‘This is a powerful amulet,’ Archimegadon said. ‘These thieves… who are they? Are they mages, to be seeking such items?’
‘No, merely those in search of powerful objects to sell for lots of money,’ Elsim explained. ‘However, they do not understand the risks involved. To give these magical artefacts to those corrupt and rich enough to purchase black market goods is to invite disaster. With all likelihood, if these reckless thieves are not stopped they will bring down the kingdom!’
‘Most unfortunate indeed,’ Archimegadon said. The danger rating on this mission was starting to reach undesirable levels. Unless the money involved was good, he would probably have to turn this down. ‘So… these careless thieves… they may be here even now? It is an awful risk for you to be doing this deal in open sight.’
‘Ah, but my good friend, if they see that a great mage is being given care of this amulet, they might not care to chance their lives on this mission so much,’ Elsim said.
‘Your reasoning is sound,’ Archimegadon said, stroking his beard. ‘Tell me, how many items have they already stolen?’
‘Oh, over a dozen at least,’ Elsim replied. ‘A couple of staffs and another amulet. One man went on a rampage and destroyed a couple of buildings, including a tavern much like this. Giving the untrained magical weaponry is inviting problems.’
Archimegadon hid his expression behind his jug. ‘What is the reward I can expect for this quest?’
‘I am a servant of the Lord of Aldrack,’ Elsim replied. ‘I have his seal here.’ He produced a ring, which had a rather complex symbol with three swords on it which was presumably this Lord’s personal mark. Elsim laughed. ‘I can promise you, amongst all this talk of thieves, that I did not steal this ring.’
Archimegadon chuckled in mock appreciation, although he was tired of this fellow’s chatter. ‘And the price, sir?’ he pressed.
‘Ah yes.’ Elsim produced a scroll and opened it for Archimegadon to see. ‘Give Master Delarian this letter of introduction from Lord Auber Bartell. Once he has the scroll and the amulet, you will be paid exactly one thousand relorans.’
Archimegadon nodded sagely. Then he blinked. Then he remembered what Elsim had said. ‘How much?’ he asked, trying to keep his voice down so that nobody would try to steal the job. This wiped the danger level right off the board.
‘One thousand relorans,’ Elsim replied. ‘We take the security of Aldrack and the surrounding towns very seriously, Master Archimegadon. If you can get this amulet to Sen Delarian we will have won one further battle against these thieves.’
‘I can imagine,’ Archimegadon said, thinking of other things. With this much money he could take a sojourn in the far off tropical isles of Filikis at last, and possibly buy himself a title and settle down as lord of a town somewhere. Melethas lacked a lord at present… perhaps he could fill that hole. ‘The quest is accepted. For a quest of this magnitude perhaps you require more assurance that I will not turn out to be a thief myself?’
‘I think that the reward money will outweigh those concerns,’ Elsim replied, smiling. ‘Your staff there is adequately powerful for you, I should imagine. The amulet would do nothing to increase your abilities, surely?’
‘Of course!’ Archimegadon replied, waving a dismissive hand through the air. ‘I have no need of this amulet. I, too, hold the safety of Aldrack highly, and will dispatch this quest quickly and efficiently. You have placed the future of Valanthas in the hands of the finest mage the world has ever seen.’
‘I am glad to hear it,’ Elsim said. ‘I hope to do business again with you soon.’ He handed over the amulet and the scroll and made sure that Archimegadon had pocketed them before rising to leave. ‘If you succeed, do drop by Aldrack and visit Lord Bartell. I am sure that he would be very happy to see you, especially if we need any more aid in our quest versus these thieves.’
‘Naturally,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I shall see you soon.’
Elsim disappeared with his yellow glasses and left the Mage for Hire in a very good mood. Archimegadon finished his drink and sat back, intending to doze, when a voice interrupted his thoughts.
‘Ah… sir?’
Archimegadon opened an eye and saw a young swordsman. He shut the eye again. ‘Go away. I already have a quest. I am a hired mage, no longer a Mage for Hire. Begone.’
‘But sir, I really need help.’
With a thunderous sigh Archimegadon sat up and frowned at the swordsman. ‘Who are you, and what do you want?’
The swordsman sat down. ‘My name is Neurion, and I’m actually a paladin.’ He whispered the last few words. ‘I’m supposed to be killing some evil monster hereabouts and taking the remains to the High Captain in the Guard Tower at Melethas. I need a bit of help.’
‘I see,’ Archimegadon said. Perhaps he could pick up a little bonus on the journey, then. ‘And what is this beast?’
‘Apparently there’s a farm just beyond the mountains, and there’s a farmer there who needs a nearby beast killed,’ Neurion replied. ‘It’s called the Shadow, and I hear it stands at twice the height of any man.’
‘Oh, that,’ Archimegadon said with a laugh. ‘Why, I killed it not long ago.’
Neurion leaned forwards. ‘Then you must be powerful indeed. But I need some of its remains to prove that it died. Can you take me to where the creature died?’
‘Not very honourable for a paladin to lie and take credit for oth
ers’ achievements,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Sir, I’m very hard up at the moment,’ Neurion said. ‘I spent all my money training in everything possible at the School of Paladins, and now I don’t have very much money at all. I’ve tried fishing for my food, but they never seem to bite. I need the money from this quest.’
‘How much are they paying you?’
‘Two relorans.’
Archimegadon blinked. Even with the promise of a thousand relorans, this was more money than he was generally used to seeing in his day-to-day work. ‘And how much would you pay me?’
‘Half of that.’
Archimegadon nodded. ‘I see. It would be a good deal.’ He frowned as memories of the battle with the Shadow surfaced. That vortex at the end had almost certainly removed all trace of the creature from existence. ‘Unfortunately, the spell I used to kill it may have… well, there wasn’t very much of it left when I finished with it.’
‘It wouldn’t hurt to check,’ Neurion said, looking a touch desperate.
‘I will take you to the place for five vallins,’ Archimegadon said. ‘If there is a piece of the beast then I will negate that deal and accept your earlier offer instead, once we have delivered the creature to the High Captain. Understood?’
‘That is fair,’ Neurion replied.
‘You’re dressed down a bit for a paladin though,’ Archimegadon said. ‘You look like a common ruffian.’
‘Ah, well I’ve noticed that paladins aren’t very popular,’ Neurion said. ‘I’ve been beset by so many thugs that it isn’t funny.’ He frowned. ‘They stole my armour. And my sword. I could only afford this thing.’ He pulled his sword halfway out of the scabbard to show how much rust was all over it.
‘Of course, any weapon is mighty in the hands of an expert,’ Archimegadon lied.
‘Not really the weapon of a paladin though,’ Neurion said.
‘Well, never mind,’ Archimegadon said. ‘You will soon be slightly richer.’ And Archimegadon would be very rich indeed. But he decided not to mention that. He didn’t need charity cases to ruin his day.