by Jason Kenyon
‘His fault,’ Mortimyr said.
‘Anyway, Sen Delarian isn’t a crook,’ Terrill said. ‘Did you see how excited he was when he saw we were actually trained mages? I feel sorry for guys like him.’
‘Why?’ Mortimyr asked. ‘He gets enough money for what he does.’
‘Yeah, but he used to be a hero,’ Terrill said. ‘Imagine it. One day you’re the saviour of a kingdom, victor of the greatest battle the land has ever seen. The next day you’re running a crappy Mage School just so the Mage Academy can make back some money.’
‘That’s life,’ Mortimyr said. ‘One minute you’re making a good business out of questing, the next you’ve been swindled by a strange little clerk and a former hero.’
‘Well, yeah, I guess,’ Terrill said. ‘Shall we go to Aldrack anyway?’
‘Might as well,’ Gelenn replied.
‘We aren’t going to get paid,’ Mortimyr said. ‘Trust me on it.’
*
Archimegadon and his companions had settled down in a small clearing in the midst of some tall pine trees, and the moon overhead was casting a pleasant light down over them. The campfire threw out a dome of red light that made Archimegadon feel a little uneasy, for some reason. Akarith had been tied to a nearby tree, and Obdo had been assigned to sit near her and ensure she did not escape. Neurion meanwhile was tending to the fire, using various items that Obdo had thieved from the Dusk Alliance refugees when he had infiltrated their camp.
‘Who’s for soup?’ Neurion asked.
‘I’ll have some,’ Obdo replied.
‘If it isn’t poisonous,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Neurion said. ‘It isn’t.’
‘I’m hungry too,’ Akarith said, although by the tone of her voice she didn’t feel too hopeful about getting anything.
‘Master Archimegadon?’ Neurion asked, looking over at his leader.
‘Not a drop,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Do you think I was fed during my stay at that base?’
‘We gave you some water,’ Akarith said.
‘When you remembered,’ Archimegadon said, ‘which was rare.’
‘I was running a large base,’ Akarith said. ‘Come on, things get forgotten.’
‘Well, I have forgotten you, then, milady,’ Archimegadon said, smiling. ‘No food for you. Obdo, pour some water on her.’
‘To drink?’ Obdo asked.
‘That too.’
Obdo offered the assassin a bit of water, deciding not to drench her as suggested, while Neurion filled two of their new bowls with soup and passed one to Archimegadon. After a moment’s thought Neurion prepared and delivered another to Obdo, although he looked very angry about having to do so.
‘Well, isn’t this fun?’ Archimegadon asked, his spoon poised over the bowl. ‘From rags to riches, eh?’ He chuckled. ‘Oh except for you, Akarith. Never mind, though. I’m sure you’ll receive a warm welcome in Aldrack.’
‘I’ll be burnt at the stake,’ Akarith said. ‘Sure you won’t reconsider? I have a lot of money stashed away somewhere.’
‘I imagine it all burnt away with your base, my dear,’ Archimegadon said. ‘No, I like my money certain.’
‘You said you didn’t expect Bartell to pay up,’ Akarith said.
‘Lies, milady, to fool you,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Nice to know you are still falling for them after I told you I was lying.’
‘Oh, shut up,’ Akarith said.
‘You should get over your grudge with the King,’ Archimegadon said. ‘That’s what caught you, really.’
‘Well, none of that mattered anyway!’ Akarith said. ‘It was that strange mage who defeated me, not you.’
‘That’s not what Lord Auber Bartell shall know,’ Archimegadon said. ‘An incredible joint effort by us three. An incredible feat of teamwork and power!’
‘An incredible feat of lying,’ Akarith said. ‘Although it isn’t incredible, it’s completely transparent. I know Bartell of old. He wouldn’t be fooled by that rubbish.’
‘Oho, one of our old heroes?’ Archimegadon asked. ‘Everyone else we’ve met has been.’
‘I fought against Tel Ariel with Sen and Auber, yes,’ Akarith replied.
‘The actual fight?’
‘One of them,’ Akarith said. ‘The last one. There were loads of us anyway. But still, we had one good fight before he turned into the famous Bone Dragon. We needed loads of us.’
‘Hmm, yes, I remember,’ Archimegadon said, sighing.
‘Don’t tell me you fought there,’ Akarith said with a laugh. ‘You? Come off it.’
‘Who fed you before that battle, eh?’ Archimegadon asked. ‘Who provided the meals that kept everyone going? Us wagon-runners, that’s who. No, I didn’t fight… but I did my part.’
‘Well, thank you, Mage for Hire,’ Akarith said. ‘Now will you please let me go?’
‘You’d just kill us if we did,’ Obdo replied.
‘I’m really very nice,’ Akarith lied. ‘If you let me go I’d be ever so grateful.’
‘Stuff that,’ Obdo said. ‘I don’t trust you for a minute, lady.’
‘Don’t be rude, Obdo,’ Neurion said. ‘However, we are bound by law to retain you in our custody, madam. You have broken the law, Akarith Kellason. I hope you feel suitably ashamed.’
‘Oh, just dreadful,’ Akarith said.
‘Hey, Sir Mage, think we’ll get a little bonus for delivering her?’ Obdo asked.
‘Well, one can hope,’ Archimegadon replied. But still, what was a little bonus compared to two thousand relorans? Ha!
‘Isn’t it a bit hypocritical to take credit for my capture when you were just lucky?’ Akarith asked. ‘That’s thieving too.’
‘But we did capture you,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘The means and manner of it are not important. The fact that we will lead you into Castle Aldrack ourselves will be testimony to the fact that we captured you.’
‘This sort of reputation could really get my Thug for Hire business off the ground,’ Obdo said.
‘“Thug for Hire”?’ Akarith repeated with a snort. ‘You’re joking, right?’
‘Sadly, he isn’t,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘He thought he would inch in on my territory.’
‘Run him out of business,’ Akarith said to Obdo. ‘Nothing would please me more than to see this lying bastard penniless.’
‘How could you have expected me to be honest?’ Archimegadon asked. ‘You tied me up and threatened to kill me! It is hardly the best way to cultivate friends.’
‘That’s the way things work,’ Akarith said. ‘Hey, wait a second. You were there to assassinate me anyway!’
‘You set Broadblade on me before!’ Archimegadon returned. ‘Just because I wanted to deliver a little amulet.’
‘Yeah, well…’ Akarith frowned. ‘Oh, forget it. This argument is going nowhere.’
‘That’s because you just lost,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Oh shut up, mage, you…’
‘Hey, calm down, everyone!’ Obdo said. ‘Besides, nobody’s tasted Neurion’s soup yet.’
‘With good reason, probably,’ Akarith said. ‘I wouldn’t touch that stuff for all the magical amulets in the world.’
‘Then you would be missing out on a great deal,’ Neurion said, sipping some of his soup.
Archimegadon had a mouthful too, and to his great surprise found that it wasn’t bad after all. Well, well, Neurion had a purpose at last. Perhaps the paladin knave would be employable as a cook in Castle Archimegadon.
‘Not bad, Neurion,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Not bad at all. Let Akarith have a sniff, Obdo.’
Obdo did as directed, and Akarith began to look very hungry indeed. She watched Obdo’s plate without blinking, wilting noticeably when the farmhand finished his share. Archimegadon finished his own and filled up his bowl again.
‘What a wonderful night it is,’ he said. ‘So peaceful, at last. No thieves to worry about.’
‘Hopefully they’
ll be along to rescue me soon,’ Akarith said.
‘They think you’re dead, milady,’ Obdo said to her. ‘And those that think otherwise hate you for bringing ruin to them.’
‘I didn’t bring ruin to them!’ Akarith said. ‘It was that damned mage! Oh, I wish I could get my hands on him.’
‘You won’t be getting your hands on much of anything,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Not so long as you’re in our care.’
‘This is so unfair!’ Akarith said. ‘I was a queen! I don’t deserve this treatment.’
‘Oh boo bloody hoo,’ Archimegadon said. ‘You should have thought about this when you strung me up, eh?’ He walked over to her and poked her nose. ‘Like a pig hung up for slaughter?’
‘You’re no different!’ Akarith said. ‘Look at you, lording it up! At least I was nice to you… on at least one occasion.’
‘Ah, but I am different,’ Archimegadon said. He showed her the bowl of soup. ‘Here, milady. A little soup for you.’
Akarith gazed hungrily at the soup, and then her eyes flicked up to his, suspicious of his actions. ‘You’re going to pour it over me, aren’t you? I’m just a little bit of sport to be mocked before you get me killed in Aldrack.’
‘Do you think so little of me?’ Archimegadon asked. He held a spoonful of soup out and she took a tentative sip.
‘Ooh, that’s nice,’ she said. She had some more soup and then glared at him. ‘What are you up to, mage? Kindness isn’t your style.’
‘That’s true, I suppose,’ Archimegadon said. ‘The reason, my dear, is because I can. Because I had the choice of punishing or feeding you, and I decided to be nice this once.’
‘Let’s hope the dice keep rolling my way, then,’ Akarith said. ‘The soup is very nice, by the way.’
‘You’re welcome,’ Neurion said.
‘It’s certain death for me in Aldrack,’ Akarith said after a moment. ‘You sure you want to take me there?’
‘That fate you made for yourself,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘If we let you go we cannot guarantee that you won’t try this again.’
‘Words are worth nothing these days, eh?’ Akarith asked.
‘I don’t think they ever were,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘Still, I had a good run,’ Akarith said. ‘Wish I could find out who ruined me, though.’
‘It’s a little worrying,’ Neurion said. ‘I don’t think there are any mages around that powerful that I know about.’
Archimegadon thought briefly about the single buyer mentioned by the shade. What if this was whoever that was? Certainly, with various magical items one could hope to attain a level of power unmatched by any other. Well, that was none of his concern. If there was such a person, then it would be up to the King and his men to deal with them.
‘Maybe he was on our side,’ Obdo said. ‘We never found out. Not like we spoke to him. Perhaps he was one of Bartell’s men or something. Maybe it was Sen Delarian, back to save the world like he did in the old days.’
‘He isn’t reliable enough for that,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Anyway, enough of this chatter. It’s high time we thought about sleep.’
‘We only just ate,’ Neurion protested.
‘Aye, but he wants to get to Aldrack for his reward,’ Akarith said. ‘Isn’t that right, Mage for Hire?’
‘True enough,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Well, wake me for my watch. Until then, I’m going to sleep.’
‘Night, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said.
Archimegadon dozed off, and soon images of golden fountains filled his head. The world was going to become the perfect place. Just a small distance to Aldrack and everything he had ever wanted would be his.
Chapter Seventeen: Welcome to Aldrack
South of Archimegadon’s little campfire, which had now been covered by falling leaves since it had been deserted three days before, was the grand city of Aldrack. Some had labelled it the jewel of Valanthas, the heavenly star that had fallen to earth in all its glory. Most of these people had never actually visited the city, but had instead heard of it and presumed what sensible people would have snorted at.
This was not to say that Aldrack was not a pretty city. Indeed, the towering castle at its centre was a truly magnificent sight, and the rest of the city fanned out around it in an orderly fashion, finally merging with the forest at its outer edges as though one with the trees.
The thing was, Aldrack was none too pretty in terms of character. In the fallout of the war that hung as a spectre over the kingdom, many had turned to relorans as a source of solace. Rebuilding Valanthas after the necromancer left it in ruins made rich men of the builders, and the knights of course flourished once they were set amongst the thieves who had grown in business during the wartime. The mages, as you hopefully know by now, lost so much money that they had to open their useless Mage Schools.
Money. This was the lifeblood of the new Valanthas, and the pulsing vein that ran from one end of the kingdom to the other, that travelled down every lane and every stream, that ran up the legs of all the people of Valanthas and gripped their minds. Money was power, and power was everything.
Aldrack had little idea that just at its fringes was the man who sought both beyond all else, the man who, given the chance, would sell the entire world just to buy himself a throne. His good mood still firmly in place, despite the troubles of the last couple of weeks, Archimegadon approached the crest of a hill that overlooked the outskirts of Aldrack.
‘Finally!’ Archimegadon said. ‘We have done it! We have reached Aldrack at long last.’ He glanced back at Neurion, Obdo and Akarith, who were trailing far behind. ‘Hurry up, you fools! Do you not want to finish this knavery at last?’
‘I don’t,’ Akarith said.
‘Didn’t you notice how steep that last hill was?’ Obdo asked. ‘Is your greed so powerful that you don’t even notice pain?’
‘Tush, it was but a minor slope,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Behold! Our salvation is at hand! And it has been far too long getting here.’
‘Sorry, Master Archimegadon,’ Neurion said.
‘It wasn’t so bad for you, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said. ‘You didn’t go looking for madam here.’
‘Madam?’ Akarith repeated with a frown.
‘I captured her myself!’ Archimegadon said. ‘Why should I have to capture her the second time?’
‘Because you were the one who let her escape,’ Obdo replied.
‘Well… ah… if you hadn’t been snoring so loudly I might have heard her run away,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Do I snore?’ Obdo asked Neurion.
‘I do not know,’ Neurion replied. ‘I sleep perfectly, unstirred by earthly matters.’
‘That’s one thing I’m looking forward to,’ Obdo said. ‘Getting rid of Sir Rusty in Aldrack. I never liked paladins before, but this one… well…’
‘Yes, well I have no love for necromancers,’ Neurion said. ‘Nor do I like lazy farmhands, before you start up with that lie of yours. I suggest that you stay far away from me in future, or there may be trouble.’
‘Cheer up, you oafs,’ Archimegadon said.
‘How did I get caught by this lot?’ Akarith demanded of the sky. The sky gazed back at her with silent condescension. ‘This is more than just embarrassing. It’s also going to be fatal… unless you’d reconsider?’
‘Very well, I shall reconsider,’ Archimegadon replied. He paused in thought for many a moment, and the clouds passed o’erhead on their grand journey in the heavens. ‘Nope, I’ve considered the matter again. We’ll stick to the original plan.’
‘I hate you,’ Akarith said.
*
Neurion was astounded by the scale of Aldrack as they entered through the grand gateway through which the Central Way passed. Columns towered to either side, although Archimegadon noted that they were not in fact holding anything up or indeed having any purpose at all aside from looking splendid. Soldiers, presumably in the employ of Lord Bartell, strutted this way and that, oblivious to t
he fact that just a bit north of them the Dusk Alliance had sat in complete comfort, untroubled by these supposedly mighty warriors.
It did not take long for one of these men to notice that Akarith’s arms were bound, and that she was looking sullen and frightened indeed. That soldier quickly called over several friends, since it was also clear that the robed Archimegadon was probably a magic-user of some sort. Neurion, who had lost his silver armour to thieves again when he had been captured by the Dusk Alliance, and Obdo, who had thankfully lost his awful fancy clothes and had them replaced with prison garb, looked like down-and-outs who would probably stir up trouble.
‘Ah, here comes our welcome,’ Archimegadon said to his companions. ‘Let us make our presence felt, eh?’
‘Don’t do anything silly, Sir Mage,’ said Obdo, who was now way out of his depth in this city. He had never seen so many bricks in the same place, and it made him uneasy to be unable to see any greenery. Even the Dusk Alliance base had been ridden with moss.
‘Bah, these knaves do not know what they are about,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Observe my technique in allaying their suspicions.’
‘You there!’ yelled the soldier who had first noticed them. ‘State your business and do not advance a step further!’
Several other people who were entering the city froze in place, unsure whether they too came under the mantle of ‘you there’. Others simply decided to watch.
‘Silence, you oaf!’ Archimegadon said. ‘Watch your tongue when you address me!’
‘That isn’t helping,’ Obdo said.
‘Obdo is right, for once,’ Neurion added.
‘You be quiet too,’ Archimegadon told them.
‘State your names and business here, or die,’ the soldier amended.
‘A fine welcome for such esteemed guests as us!’ Archimegadon said. ‘I have half a mind to turn around and leave after this!’
‘You aren’t going anywhere,’ the soldier said. ‘If you do we will kill you on the spot! Now tell us your name and business!’
Archimegadon assumed a regal pose. That is, he rose to his fullest height, folded his arms and glared with the utmost fury he could muster. ‘I, fools, am Valanthas’s foremost mage!’