by Jason Kenyon
‘You were captured by Ardon?’ Sen asked Akarith. ‘How embarrassing for you. The rumour about Auber doesn’t come close.’
‘He caught me trapped under rubble,’ Akarith said. ‘It wasn’t exactly fair.’
‘Even so, you escaped worse things,’ Sen said.
‘I was eighteen then,’ Akarith replied. ‘A little younger and thinner… as Auber has already reminded me.’
‘Your body has developed and blossomed,’ Bartell said. ‘You are quite perfect.’
‘Oh, shut up,’ Akarith said. ‘You’re as bad at complimenting a lady as you always were.’
‘I take it Archimegadon is here at the moment, then?’ Sen asked, a little too innocently.
‘I don’t appreciate the two thousand relorans you promised him, if that’s what you’re getting at,’ Bartell replied with a scowl.
Sen laughed. ‘You sent three men to me demanding vast sums of money. The first one I kicked out – he was a little weedy fellow anyway. The second I sent back to Elsim. I sent you the best of them.’
‘The one who would most annoy me, you mean,’ Bartell said.
‘Your fault,’ Sen said.
‘Redrock’s, actually,’ Bartell said. ‘He’s the one who went around making those promises. I just told him to get it done.’
‘I wonder when Ardon cracked,’ Sen said. ‘Does he really think people are impressed by him?’
‘I imagine so,’ Bartell replied. ‘He certainly thinks a lot of himself. He struts, you know.’
‘Of course I know,’ Sen said. ‘He was prancing around the Mage School when he delivered the amulet.’
‘You’re responsible for him,’ Bartell said.
‘Actually, I didn’t teach him,’ Sen said. ‘The blame for that lies elsewhere.’
‘He’s the least of our problems, anyway,’ Bartell said. ‘Our only real trouble will be Orgus, if he has any decent mages left.’
‘Hold up there,’ Akarith said. ‘You haven’t finished telling me about Sen’s plan.’
‘It was a joint effort,’ Sen said.
‘Just tell me the damn plan.’
‘Very well,’ Sen said. ‘Auber, go ahead. I don’t know how much you have said already.’
‘Thank you, Sen,’ Bartell said, pouring himself more wine. ‘So gracious of you. Now then… ah yes. Once word comes through that the burial chamber has been located I will head down to the tomb to claim what lies within.’
‘That could be a little risky,’ Akarith said. ‘What if it’s covered in curses?’
‘Hence all these magical amulets and such things,’ Bartell replied.
‘Why doesn’t Sen go there?’ Akarith asked. ‘He’s a natural magic-user.’
‘We rolled for it,’ Sen replied, with a sour side glance. ‘I lost.’
‘You rolled on who was to become a god?’ Akarith asked.
‘Well how else were we supposed to do it?’ Bartell asked. ‘Anyway, once I have my divine powers I will surely be able to bestow divinity upon my closest friends.’
‘Even me?’ Akarith asked, suddenly appearing a lot more eager.
‘If you want me to I shall,’ Bartell replied, shrugging nonchalantly. ‘Once I have the ultimate power that lies in the burial chamber I will reshape the world according to how it should have been.’
‘Is that so?’ Akarith asked, her expression somewhat cynical.
‘Look,’ Bartell replied, gesturing at a painting on his wall. ‘The world is like a great painting, and over time the people of the world have got dirt all over the painting. Heroes across the ages have cleared away these stains repeatedly, but now the stains have become so much a part of the pattern that it is impossible to restore the painting. What we must do now is discard this old painting and begin it again – but this time, we will not allow anyone near it with anything that could stain it.
‘The people of this kingdom were given freedom, and they abused it. In future, they will have their choices made for them. After all, who could possibly be ungrateful for having the right choices made for them all the time? That can only benefit them.’
‘How inspiring,’ Akarith said, looking more interested in the contents of her wine glass.
‘You have to see, Akarith,’ Sen said. ‘Money is all that matters to people these days. People only take jobs for the money involved. Nobody assumes roles because those roles must be filled for the good of other people. They fill roles that are likely to benefit themselves. Not others. This is the world we bought. A world where the only thing that matters is oneself.’
‘I know it wasn’t what we wanted, but I never really expected anything else deep down,’ Akarith said.
‘Didn’t you?’ Sen asked, his eyebrows drawing together. ‘Because I did. Auber did. We thought we had given Valanthas a wonderful gift – freedom from tyranny, the tyranny Tel Ariel had promised. But the people abused what we gave them. They spat on our gift. Just look at the money-grabbing Mage Schools I’m forced to oversee. They stand for all that is wrong with the kingdom. We must stop this disease now, or the world will have no hope. This is for the good of the people, Akarith. They don’t understand what they need.’
‘And you do?’ Akarith asked.
‘Indeed, or I would not even consider this,’ Sen replied. ‘This quest is unlike any other that has been undertaken before. We are taking the leap that other heroes dared not. We have to turn against popular opinion and do what we know is right. We are going beyond what any other hero has done. We are not content with status quo. Only this way can we achieve what that old war was for. We can restore true values to this cynical and bitter people.’
‘You certainly sound confident,’ Akarith said. ‘But I don’t know… it sounds like you want to kill everyone.’
‘No,’ Sen said. ‘Not that. But people must be made to understand, if they are so intent upon blinding themselves. We need a leader who can do what must be done. There is no other way. Currently people’s loyalties can only be bought with money. That makes them all mercenaries or thieves. You really want to live in a country of mercenaries or thieves? Is that what you fought for back then?’
‘Maybe not, but then I was both just a few days ago,’ Akarith replied. ‘There’s honour amongst thieves, you know.’
‘Not true honour,’ Sen said. ‘We don’t want to let that sort of elitism flourish. We don’t want people isolating themselves to exclusive clubs where only those like them will be accepted. No, the kingdom needs change. The world needs change. And now that Vortagenses’s treasure is within our grasp, that dream is about to be realised.’
‘You’re both insane,’ Akarith said, although she was starting to sound slightly impressed.
‘Come on, Akarith,’ Bartell said. ‘One final quest, eh? What else are you going to do? Go back to being an assassin? Take the lives of people who may be innocent to please evil men? You don’t want that life.’
‘You can’t tell me what I want,’ Akarith said. ‘But perhaps you are right this once.’ She looked away. ‘What about executing me?’
‘I don’t intend to,’ Bartell replied. ‘We shall have the feast tomorrow, Sen, I think. We don’t need to waste much time setting things up.’ Sen nodded. ‘Once that happens you are free to go, Akarith. I will be in total control of a wide area of land, away from the king’s jurisdiction.’
‘How?’ Akarith asked.
‘Never you mind,’ Bartell replied. ‘I’ll save the surprise. In any case, what we plan to do will take place soon after, with or without you. I would rather have you at my side, but if you choose to stand to the side I will not look down on you for it.’
Akarith was silent, and she stared into Bartell’s eyes for all the answers she was looking for. Her wine was forgotten, and probably everything around her too. For that moment in time, there was only Bartell and Sen, two faces that promised everything at no cost. Such a dream… could it be true?
Bartell held her gaze and willed her to side with them. He suddenly came
to understand how much he had missed her, and how much he had loved her. This life had been wasted without her, but perhaps now, as an immortal, he could achieve everything that he had lost. If Akarith would just choose right…
‘Fine,’ Akarith said, throwing the word out as though afraid she might reach out and snatch it back. ‘This could be madness, but… you’re right. Something must be done. You win, Auber.’
‘We all win,’ Sen said. ‘I am glad you’re with us again.’
‘Just like old times,’ Akarith said, allowing herself to smile again.
‘Indeed,’ Bartell said. ‘But just wait until you’ve seen the new ones.’
Chapter Twenty: The Etiquette of Life
‘What do you both look so angry about?’ Archimegadon asked his two companions. The Mage for Hire, Obdo and Neurion had gathered in Archimegadon’s room at Castle Aldrack on the next day, since both the farmhand and the paladin had turned up at the same time demanding to know about this fee Archimegadon was to receive. Archimegadon wasn’t exactly happy about it – his initial plan, after all, had been to tell them once he was a lord – but he supposed he would have to make do. He had refused requests for money before. This time would be like all the rest.
‘Two thousand relorans for delivering two amulets, Sir Mage?’ Obdo asked. ‘How did you wangle that?’
‘It was an important part of defeating the Dusk Alliance,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘What do you expect?’
‘Bearing in mind we got five relorans for defeating the Dusk Alliance entire, I think we’ve been sold short,’ Obdo replied.
‘Obdo is right this time, Master Archimegadon,’ Neurion said. ‘Those are riches.’
‘Tush, it is what you get when you reach my level of expertise,’ Archimegadon said. ‘If you two had as much reputation with Aldrack as I, you might be receiving a greater reward. As it is, you do not. Thus, you get little.’
‘Sir Mage, you wouldn’t have made it here without our help,’ Obdo said.
‘I fail to remember the moment at which you saved me,’ Archimegadon said.
‘When I woke you up that night in Salien for one,’ Obdo said.
‘Bah, I would have managed to deal with that oaf Broadblade easily,’ Archimegadon said. ‘You expect payment for crushing me half to death?’
‘A lot of people would be willing to pay me for doing that,’ Obdo said.
‘I am sure they would,’ Archimegadon said. ‘However, that is hardly of interest to one such as I. Why should I share the quest with you, eh?’
‘It’s the polite thing to do,’ Obdo replied.
‘Well, you know I am not polite when I have no call to be,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I am a Mage for Hire, not a walking charity money pot. Be off with you, unless you have something interesting to relate to me.’
‘I have something interesting to relate to your face,’ Obdo said. ‘It’s called my fist.’
‘That was nearly witty, Obdo,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Well done.’
‘Ignore him, Master Archimegadon,’ Neurion said. ‘Still, I think you should reconsider. We did help you where we could.’
‘And with your aid I was strung up in Akarith’s base,’ Archimegadon said.
‘We were all tricked, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said. ‘You too. You have yourself to blame as much as us.’
‘Indeed, but it wouldn’t make sense to refuse myself the money, now would it?’
‘That is true,’ Neurion said.
‘Let me do the talking, Sir Rusty,’ Obdo said, pushing the paladin aside. ‘Sir Mage, two thousand relorans is a lot of money. Surely you don’t need it all?’
‘Obdo, allow me to tell you some facts about life,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Life is the sort of game where one trusts other people to keep up their end of the bargain, only to find that they are not only not going to keep it, but they are going to steal as much from you as they can possibly manage. Those who profess to want to help you are merely after your money as well, and those who can help you with dealing with them also want your money. In the end, you end up with the same initial problem and no money – unless you go it alone and trust nobody else.’
‘That’s a little bitter,’ Obdo said.
‘Your parents left you out to dry, didn’t they?’ Archimegadon asked. ‘How was that for a lifetime of trust returned with betrayal?’
‘They were doing what was best for me,’ Obdo replied.
‘They let you go onto a farm so they didn’t have to fund you, Obdo,’ Archimegadon said. ‘That is the truth of the matter. Now they have one less mouth to feed.’
‘That was quite a few years ago anyway,’ Obdo said. ‘I don’t really care any more.’
‘Well, there’s your first step,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Neurion, how did you end up in the paladin nursery?’
‘My parents ran out of money after some deals went wrong, so they sent me out to make it back,’ Neurion replied. ‘They aren’t too happy that I spent everything on becoming a paladin.’
‘There’s true familial bliss,’ Archimegadon said. ‘You’re their get-out clause. They ran out of money from bets and now send you to do their dirty work. In actual fact they probably still have a lot of money and are living the good life while you toil.’
‘They did raise me,’ Neurion said. ‘I sort of owe them.’
‘Did you ask them to spawn you?’
‘Not exactly,’ Neurion said.
‘Not exactly?’ Archimegadon repeated. ‘Did you somehow pre-exist to ask?’
‘Fine, so I didn’t ask,’ Neurion replied.
‘Then there you go!’ Archimegadon said. ‘They created you and expect eternal servitude in return. Hardly a fair bargain.’
‘I think perhaps you should meet my parents before you decide their character,’ Neurion said.
‘Pssh, all people are the same deep down,’ Archimegadon said.
‘They aren’t all like you, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said.
‘If they were, the world would be better off,’ Archimegadon said.
‘I think there are already too many people like you,’ Obdo said.
‘You have no true vision, Obdo,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Listen. This is the crux of the matter. There is no such thing as loyalty. There is no such thing as dependability. There is only yourself. Don’t bother trusting anyone else, because they’ll let you down in the end.’
‘Like you, you mean,’ Obdo said.
‘If you trusted me in the first place then I am rather surprised at you,’ Archimegadon said.
‘You’ve got me there,’ Obdo said. ‘So why does this mean that you won’t let us have some of the money for the quest we unwittingly helped you complete?’
‘I don’t help other people out because the return is usually zero,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘That’s very selfish, Master Archimegadon,’ Neurion said.
‘Too bad,’ Archimegadon said. ‘What do you want, sympathy? I got the quest, and you didn’t. That’s life.’
‘You’re joking with us, aren’t you?’ Obdo asked, looking hopeful.
‘No, I am not,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘Not even a little?’ Obdo asked.
Archimegadon struck him soundly with the Staff of Antagules. ‘Do not make me repeat myself, knave. Now be off with you both. I am weary of this discussion.’
‘Come on, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said. ‘Just a couple of relorans. It’s not even about the money, it’s the principle.’
‘No!’ Archimegadon rose to his full height. ‘Did you carry the amulet?’
‘No, but…’
‘Did you demand my money when you didn’t know the fee?’
‘No, but…’
‘Then you are clearly motivated by money alone!’ Archimegadon said. ‘You too, Neurion! So much for this balls about not caring about the money! You’re no different from me!’
‘Yeah, I want to leech off your reward,’ Obdo said. ‘Isn’t that familiar? Remember the Shadow?’
‘For the pur
poses of this debate I have forgotten it,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Ah well.’
‘We could retire from this money,’ Neurion said.
‘You idiot, Neurion!’ Archimegadon said, suddenly angrier than he had been at any point in this debate. ‘Look at you both! You’re in the primes of your lives, imbeciles! I spent years of my life serving my country and I was rewarded with just enough money to afford the Mage School course, with a little left over for living expenses. Since I became Archimegadon, Mage for Hire, I made my riches! Since I forgot all that garbage about helping one’s fellow man I became the success I am now! But for you two to try retiring when the whole of your life is before you… well… madness!’
‘Steady on,’ Obdo said.
‘No, I will not,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I wasted all those years of my life. I had no handy helper to point out where I was going wrong back then. You do now, and that helper is me. I suggest that you listen to me and get on with your lives as they should be lived, instead of wasting it with the foolish preconceived notions of a nation of people who actually only want to get their hands on the money you have earnt.’
There was an awkward moment as Archimegadon glared at Neurion and Obdo, who both looked somewhat abashed.
‘So… is that a no?’ Obdo asked.
‘Gaah, you idiot!’ Archimegadon said. ‘Very well, I tell you what. For your aid in my quest I will grant you each a hundred relorans. Is that fair?’
‘No, I will not accept this after all,’ Neurion said. ‘I do not agree with all that you say, but perhaps it would be best to make my own money. I thieved the money for the Shadow… I should atone for it now.’
‘Oh tush,’ Archimegadon said. ‘This is a gift. Take it and be grateful.’
‘I’m going to,’ Obdo said.
‘Quite right,’ Archimegadon said. ‘You are learning well.’
‘I hope not,’ Obdo said.
‘Right, is that sorted out to your satisfaction?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘That is all,’ Neurion replied.
‘It is?’ Obdo asked, but they both ignored him.
Before Obdo could repeat the question there was a knock at the door, and Archimegadon opened it with a thunderous expression. The man who had knocked cowered and turned to flee when Archimegadon grabbed his tunic and dragged the man back.