by Jason Kenyon
‘You know who I am! I am Archimegadon, Mage for bloody Hire! Not some cheap necromancing ass. Now be off with you!’
Grand’s face went through various types of anger and rage before a strange and somewhat sudden sort of calm descended upon it. ‘Very well, mage. I have smelt the scent of necromancers before anyway… it does not lie upon you. Paladins! We ride to Horan!’
Archimegadon watched with rather a lot of confusion as the paladins simply rode off without another word. Obdo waved after them sleepily. Within a matter of minutes the paladins were just a blur in the distance, and calm settled over Belias’s farm once again, the torn earth the only reminder that an army of paladins had been there just a short while before.
‘What was that about?’ Obdo asked. ‘He sure changed his mind quickly.’
‘It is clear,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘The man was frightened of me. Now let us get the others to wake up. Tomorrow we set out for Melethas again.’ With the world hostile to Archimegadon, it would be better to travel in company and hide until he could reverse the damage Lord Bartell had done, much as it pained him to do so.
‘Oh yeah,’ Obdo said. ‘I hate that place.’
‘Enjoy it while you can,’ Archimegadon said. ‘It shall be our last stop before Aldrack.’
Chapter Thirty-Three: Bartell’s Kingdom
‘So, Sir Mage,’ Obdo asked as the various companions rode along the Central Way, ‘what happened to you?’
‘The answer is simple,’ Archimegadon replied, sitting rather unceremoniously on the same horse as Neurion. ‘As I was about to be munched by those Shadow demons I teleported away to the very original Valanthian Mage Academy. There I was able to break the curse Sen Delarian put on me and then I met with Antagules herself. Not much else to say on that matter, really.’
‘You seem to be missing out pretty much all the important details,’ Valia said. Her cheeks had gone a furious shade of red, probably because Obdo had taken a spot on her horse. ‘I bet Antagules broke your curse for a start, you useless old idiot. And saved you from Belias. And I bet she didn’t really hire you to defeat Bartell and Sen.’
Archimegadon nearly fell off the horse at that last part. ‘What… what nonsense!’
‘Look at it this way,’ Valia said. ‘You can cast a big flamebolt now, a bit like the one I’m told Sen cast on you back at Castle Aldrack.’ Archimegadon winced. ‘Compared with that, we have Lord Auber Bartell, who single-handedly destroyed the Dusk Alliance base with his magical amulets and was a renowned hero and swordsman, and Sen Delarian, possibly the greatest mage to ever walk the earth. I doubt a wise mage like Antagules – if your tale is actually true in the slightest – would be daft enough to ask a rubbish mage like you to save the world.’
‘This is merely because your vision is limited,’ Archimegadon said, brushing his beard in a wise manner. ‘Heroes are not marked purely by their brute force, but also by their quality of character, strength of will and their ingenuity when faced with adversity.’
‘I won’t make the obvious response,’ Valia said. ‘If what you say about Vortagenses is true, though, I think we should keep quiet about it in public. Nobody will put up with us bad-mouthing their founder. Valanthians are lazy in general but they do get patriotic about him.’
‘So patriotic you don’t seem to give a toss about it,’ Obdo said.
‘I lost my interest in those things after I became a knight,’ Valia said. ‘The trial involved kneeling for ages with no actual ability required whatsoever. Most of these great leaders and heroes are the same… all a pretty symbolic act without any substance.’
‘Aren’t you supposed to be praying during that?’ Neurion asked.
‘Yes, well… perhaps,’ Valia replied. ‘But do you really think that will do any good whatsoever?’
‘Better than just kneeling for all that time, I’d say,’ Obdo replied.
‘Obdo is right,’ Neurion said. ‘And I find it works. The Light has helped guide me on many occasions.’
Valia rolled her eyes and her mouth twitched as though she was about to reply, but she thought better of it and pointedly kept her gaze straight ahead. Archimegadon, meanwhile, raised his eyebrows.
‘Is that so? Does the Light… talk to you?’
‘Why, of course, Master Archimegadon!’ Neurion replied. ‘How else can we paladins use the power of the Light if not by serving it directly?’
‘Erm, well I must say I assumed the Light was rather like most elemental magic,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Either you can use it or you can’t. Most people these days have a vague spark of elemental magic at least, or the Mage Schools wouldn’t work at all. They sort of quickly coax out any hidden innate power within you and quickly teach you the basics of using it. With paladins I imagined the Light was just that bit rarer.’
‘Not at all,’ Anjilo said. ‘Sometimes the Light speaks to us directly, other times He gives us ideas or hints in the right directions, and others He sends us messages in dreams.’
‘I get the feeling most drunk people are paladins without realising,’ Obdo said.
Archimegadon pondered to himself. He wasn’t overly sure if he liked the idea of this Light fellow jabbering instructions to paladins but ignoring him. After all, was he not clearly material to be a hero of Valanthas?
‘We should have met with the other paladins,’ Anjilo said. ‘Wouldn’t it have been better to tag along with them?’
‘Ah, well I did speak with Commander Grand,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘He requested that we proceed as Antagules directed and sneak into Castle Aldrack while the paladins divert Lord Bartell’s attention. This is really no different from our operation to defeat Akarith before, after all.’
Obdo rolled his eyes but didn’t comment.
‘Only this time we have no cloaked destroyer to save us,’ Valia said.
‘Grand shall be that… erm… cloaked-destroyer-equivalent,’ Archimegadon said.
‘I’m not doing any acts this time,’ Valia said. ‘If you want to risk anyone’s neck, you can risk your own.’
‘Fear not, madam,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I shall play a part in this coming drama. However, circumstances force me, I fear, to adopt a new identity for the time being.’
‘What?’ Neurion asked. ‘Whatever do you mean, Master Archimegadon?’
‘It is steadily becoming clear to me that Lord Bartell, for whatever reason, has set out to tarnish my name and present me as a villain,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘As such, I am forced to assume a new identity.’
‘This should be interesting,’ Valia said. ‘Going to be Ultrasupersorcerermage?’
‘Don’t be stupid!’ Archimegadon replied. ‘I shall be the great magician Ub.’
‘Ub?’ Obdo pursed his lips. ‘Will you be able to bear such a tiny name?’
‘Probably not,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Regrettably, however, I must allay suspicions by having a name drastically different to my own.’
‘As ever, mage, your intellect far outstrips everyone else’s,’ Valia said with a snort. ‘What is the point of this daft identity change?’
‘Master Broadblade, didn’t you say there was some sort of display or something going on shortly?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘I did, yeah,’ Felick replied from beneath a ton of ooze, stumbling along while the others rode serenely on horseback.
‘There will surely be entertainers galore,’ Archimegadon said. ‘A humble magician will certainly be able to slip about unnoticed.’
The rest of the companions stayed very quiet.
‘Uhm, yes,’ Valia said eventually. ‘So. What are we even going to do? So far I assume we’re stopping at Melethas to dump this head for whatever reason and get the staff fixed or find a replacement. Then we’re going to Aldrack where you’ll pretend to be a magician so we can sneak into Castle Aldrack… or something?’
‘Exactly!’ Archimegadon replied.
‘Then what?’
‘Well, I suppose at that point we will need t
o assassinate Bartell, Delarian and possibly Akarith, if she shows.’
Valia gave him an extended dour stare.
The companions came to a halt at the edge of the road outside the Forest of Nalius, which looked considerably less inviting under the deep red glow of Bartell’s dome. Felick sat far from the group leaning against the grotesque demon head, while the rest dug through their supplies for some food and drink. Valia spent a while tending to their horses, which surprised Archimegadon – he would have thought she’d hate animals, but she looked uncommonly happy tending to them. When she noticed him looking, she blushed and her sterner demeanour returned as she walked back over to the group.
‘I didn’t think you liked anything,’ Archimegadon said.
‘I don’t like you,’ Valia said.
‘Charming.’
‘So as we were saying before, how do you propose we kill Bartell and his cronies?’ Valia asked. ‘Let’s think about this logically. We have me, and I’m an okay fighter but nothing special. Obdo’s… uhm… he can club things a bit. Neurion doesn’t know most of his spells. Anjilo… I don’t know much about you? Are you any good?’
‘That is for the Light to judge,’ Anjilo replied.
‘Didn’t you see her do that flashy skeleton stun thing?’ Obdo asked. ‘It was amazing!’
‘Yes, that saved us from all those skeletons,’ Neurion said. ‘We owe you our lives, milady Dawnfield.’
‘Ah, it wasn’t all that much,’ Anjilo said, grinning. ‘Skeletons are small fry for us paladins! And hey, don’t forget my little Handy Cleanser!’
Valia was looking decidedly sour. ‘Your what?’
‘Work-in-progress name,’ Anjilo replied. She took out a little cube and tossed it up in the air. ‘It’s an invention of mine. I managed to sort-of store a spell in this cube, and you throw it at the ground and the spell is cast!’
‘So it’s handy… and it cleanses things,’ Valia said, rolling her eyes. ‘It wasn’t exactly easy holding off the skeletons alone, you know.’ She eyed them all expectantly.
‘Yeah, just as well Missy Light here was around to save you,’ Obdo said.
‘To… save me?’ Valia asked, her eyes narrowing to slits.
Archimegadon was ignoring his companions meanwhile, looking over the broken Staff of Antagules, and he thought about his meeting with Antagules again, running through what vague details he could remember. It was him versus the Paladin Order, essentially. If he did not act, they would be the heroes of the story, and that ass Grand would steal the place in bardic tales that the mighty Archimegadon was supposed to occupy. Tell the paladins what to do! Such nonsense.
‘I am working on a splendid plan,’ he told Valia as he got back into the conversation. ‘I cannot… er… release the details… at this stage.’
Valia seemed as though she was sorely tempted to reach for her glaive Uldraxios and use it to educate Obdo on the finer points of gratitude, but she paused and turned to Archimegadon as he spoke to her. ‘Why am I not surprised?’
‘Because you’re the most negative ass I have ever had the displeasure of working with,’ Archimegadon replied, adopting a similar expression to Valia’s own. ‘On the plus side, we are making better time than last time I came this way. Even so, I fear we will be having a repeat visit to Salien today.’
*
Salien was rather subdued as the companions eventually found themselves at the foot of the strange treetop village. The torches did little to dispel the red glow that followed them wherever they went. Archimegadon was not used to it, since he had barely been conscious for the most part and had escaped to the strange ‘otherworld’ inhabited by Antagules just the day before, where the sunlight had at least been bright. For the others, though, proper daylight had become the province of dreams and memories, and they were now accustomed to the red glow to the point that it almost seemed normal.
‘No guards,’ Obdo said.
‘We’d best be careful, then,’ Archimegadon said.
The warning turned out to be unnecessary. Upon reaching the top they found nothing out of place, as such. Much like the rest of Bartell’s kingdom, though, people were largely hiding in their homes and the daily routines of ‘Old Valanthas’ had been abandoned. There was, however, a handful of Bartell’s armoured knights, watching everyone with a fair deal of suspicion.
‘Try to keep your heads down,’ Archimegadon warned the others. ‘Try not to appear threatening.’
This wasn’t particularly hard owing to the fact that they looked like a troupe of players rather than hardened adventurers, though Felick’s demon head drew a few funny looks. Valia was nervous that they might recognise her, and she tugged up her jade hood to try and conceal herself a bit. A few of Bartell’s soldiers sitting outside a general store watched the companions for a minute, before deciding that their card game was more important.
Not long after that, therefore, the companions were to be found sitting round a couple of tables by the edge of the walkways of Salien, each armed with a decent drink (except for Felick, who was sitting forlorn at the edge of the gathering with only the demon head for company). Glad for the chance to relax, Archimegadon, Obdo and Neurion occupied one table, while Anjilo and Valia sat in some sort of deep discussion on the other table.
Archimegadon felt, if not happy, then at ease for the first time in a while. In the dark of night the foul glower of the dome was unnoticeable, and it was easy to believe they were back in the Salien of the past, when the only concern had been a ragtag bunch of mercenaries.
Unfortunately for Archimegadon his peace was about to be shattered.
‘You lot!’ called a familiar voice.
Archimegadon turned, enraged, to see Terrill, Gelenn and Mortimyr emerge from the pub, themselves armed with a formidable arsenal of ale. The band of adventurers looked rather worn compared to their last meeting, and indeed all seemed to bear a few more battle scars.
‘Mind if we tug up a few chairs?’ Terrill asked.
‘Well, yes, actually!’ Archimegadon replied, but even as he was speaking the three barged him aside and dumped their drinks on his table. Gelenn snatched hers back instantly though as she spied Anjilo on the other table.
‘Well, hey there!’ she said. ‘Not seen you in a bit, Anji!’
‘Good riddance,’ Archimegadon said as Gelenn joined the girls’ table.
‘So, lads, how are we doing?’ Terrill asked.
‘If success was a fish,’ Obdo replied, ‘we’d be flapping about on dry land.’
‘Ah, too bad, too bad,’ Terrill said, taking a swig of ale.
‘But,’ Obdo went on, ‘I’m guessing your fish isn't doing too well either.’
‘Not sure I care for your tone,’ Mortimyr said.
‘Yeah, well,’ Terrill said, ‘guess you could say that. Suppose you mean our plan to kill Lord Bartell?’
‘The very same,’ Obdo replied.
‘Uh… wait… the old fart’s back,’ Terrill said, looking at Archimegadon, whose sole response was to fold his arms.
‘Gale’s booze is very effective,’ Obdo said with a nod.
‘Right,’ Terrill said. ‘Anyway! Yeah. Castle Aldrack. We got in okay through the sewers, had to get past the guards inside which was kinda tricky but nothing special. But heh. Lord Bartell.’
‘Had some trouble, did you?’ Archimegadon asked, looking slightly more cheerful.
‘Well, yeah,’ Terrill replied. ‘See, we were going to thrash him. Morty ran in to distract him, then Gelenn and me started to cast Vala Andrilus. That’s like… a really deadly vortex spell,’ he added at Obdo and Neurion’s blank looks. ‘But well… Bartell kinda blew Morty away quicker than we thought, though he did nearly blow himself up too.’
‘Just as well he was as careful as he was,’ Morty said, scratching at a burn mark on his cheek with a similarly burnt hand.
‘So basically it was us versus Bartell at that point, pretty easy,’ Terrill said. ‘We released our spell and boom! He yells
“Kalahd!” and suddenly our spell died, and we couldn’t cast anything more. He came at us with his sword and nearly got us, but Morty managed to get in the way.’
‘That’s when his guards arrived, coward,’ Mortimyr said.
‘We managed to run away,’ Terrill said. ‘Morty pushed Bartell back and we high-tailed it out of there while he was off-balance.’
‘Nearly didn’t make it,’ Mortimyr said, ‘but they couldn’t see properly the moment they got outside into the red light.’
‘And by that point our powers had returned,’ Terrill said. ‘So I did a little spell to make it easier to see in the dark.’
‘Erm, so do you know what he did?’ Archimegadon asked. ‘This “callad” thing or whatever.’
‘We did a spot of research,’ Terrill replied. ‘Turns out it’s an ancient ring that creates a field of anti-magic when activated for a random amount of time. Stops all spells in progress and stops people casting anything else, kills magic lights, effects… basically prevents all elemental magic in that area.’
‘A rather handy device then!’ Archimegadon said.
‘Yeah, used to be a killer in one of the old wars,’ Terrill said. ‘Bartell getting his hands on it was a big, big, bad thing. Basically makes Gelenn and myself pretty useless fighting him.’ He flexed his non-existent muscles. ‘It’s nasty.’
‘Callad was it?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘That’s pretty much how you say it,’ Terrill replied. ‘Kalahd, sounds mystical but it’s actually an old word for “Shut up!”’
‘You serious?’ Obdo asked.
‘Well, thing is,’ Terrill replied, ‘magic’s a funny old thing. The words technically mean nothing. They’re like a focal point for a spell. Proper mages control magic by using their mental powers to gather force and then release it in a particular form they require, and rare and brilliant ones can do so without speaking. It comes down to intent I suppose… it’s easier to cast when you have a firm intention for your spell. It’s like your friend here yells flamebolt like so many mages these days, whereas its original transcribed word is velshammar.