“Oh, Mara!” Hannah exclaimed. “What a wonderful gift.”
“I know,” Mara said, rummaging around in her oversized bag. “Here I was, feeling sorry for myself because Tom and the boys wouldn’t come with me, and all along God had something else in mind. A totally different kind of Thanksgiving gift.”
“I’d like to serve with you at Crossroads sometime,” Hannah said, handing her a tissue.
“That would be fantastic! I’d love that.” Mara wiped her eyes and looked intently at Hannah. “You didn’t end up spending Thanksgiving on your own, did you?”
“No,” Hannah answered. “I ended up having dinner with an old friend and his son.”
Hannah’s voice trailed off, her attention drifting. A little girl was walking toward the security checkpoint, holding an older woman’s hand and repeatedly blowing kisses to a man in the waiting area. “Bye, Daddy!” Hannah heard her call out. “Love you, sweetheart!” he called back. As the child proceeded through the screening process, she kept turning around to make sure her father was still there, as if his steady wave of benediction was giving her the courage for whatever journey she was about to take. Even after his daughter disappeared down the concourse, the man didn’t move.
Hannah pulled her attention back to the table and said, “Mara, I don’t think I ever told you about my small world experience here in Kingsbury.” Mara looked puzzled. “I found out a while ago that one of Charissa’s professors is an old friend of mine from seminary: Nathan Allen.”
“Seriously?” Mara asked, sounding tentative.
Hannah nodded. “Seriously.”
Mara did not reply. Hannah suspected that given Mara’s prior experience of inserting her foot into her mouth, she was probably reluctant to ask any probing or inappropriate questions.
Hannah smiled at her. “Turns out you were right, Mara. About me being in a relationship. Maybe it isn’t too late for me after all.”
“Seriously?” Mara asked, sounding a little more animated.
“Seriously.”
Mara waited a moment and then exclaimed, “Then c’mon, girlfriend—details! Gimme the details!”
Hannah laughed. “Well,” she began, placing her elbows on the table, “I’m getting a second chance with a very dear friend. And I’m grateful. Very grateful. I spent Thanksgiving with Nate and his son, Jake, and we had a great day together. Turns out Nate is a fantastic cook. I had no idea what a good cook he is!”
“Like John,” Charissa commented.
Hannah nodded. “Yes. Like John. We spent the day eating great food, telling stories, and playing lots of games.” She chuckled. “Nate is hyper competitive, though, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to play Scrabble with him ever again.”
The others laughed.
“I wanted to thank you, Charissa,” Hannah said.
Charissa replied in Eyebrow.
Hannah answered, “For not being manipulated by me. For telling Nate you’d met me. Thank you.”
Charissa shrugged slightly. “I figured it wasn’t causing any harm to let him know. Funny how it all works together, isn’t it?”
“Definitely a God thing,” Hannah said. “And it took me completely by surprise.”
“I’m so happy for you, Hannah,” said Mara, beaming. “I’ll be praying for you guys, for whatever God has planned for you.”
“Thank you. I’m trying not to think too far ahead, you know? Like what happens in June when my sabbatical is up?” Hannah was trying hard not to think about that. She kept telling herself it was enough to say yes to the flowers today without worrying about what would happen with her life in Chicago.
“A lot can happen in six months,” Meg said, reading her thoughts. “Look what’s happened in only three.”
“Just one sensible shoe in front of the other,” Mara added. “One baby step at a time.”
Hannah nodded. Yes, what a perfect image. She was learning to walk. Again.
“Thinking of baby steps,” said Meg, “how was your time with your mom and dad, Charissa?”
Charissa stirred her decaf latte methodically. “Well, it was interesting.”
“Good interesting or bad interesting?” Mara asked.
Charissa sighed. “I guess I’m starting to see some stuff I’ve got to work through with them—in terms of their expectations and my fear of disappointing them. I didn’t even know all that was inside of me. Next steps of the journey, I guess. I’m paying attention to why my buttons are getting pushed right now and trying not to be so quick to blame it on hormones.” She smiled faintly. “Although that would be a convenient excuse for everything, wouldn’t it?”
Mara narrowed her eyes. “They’re upset about the baby?”
Hannah heard something agitated—or maybe protective—in Mara’s tone. She wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something there. Perhaps the Holy Spirit had connected Mara and Charissa together for deeper purposes, for deeper healing. After all, there was always the opportunity for deeper healing.
Charissa said, “They aren’t upset, exactly. Just surprised. They have all sorts of questions about what decisions I’ll be making about grad school and my career, and I have to keep telling them that we’re trying to trust God with the timing of everything. I keep saying that John and I aren’t going to be making any decisions about that right now. It’s enough to take it one day at a time. Dr. Allen’s happy with that too. He said there’s no rush to decide anything. So that feels right.”
Yes, Hannah thought. That was exactly what Nate had been saying to her too. “We don’t have to figure any of this out right now, Hannah. I think the Lord wants us just to enjoy the journey together, without having to figure out where it ends.”
She had figured out one part of the journey, though: she was going on the pilgrimage to the Holy Land. She would be walking in the footsteps of Jesus alongside Nate.
A blur of movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and Hannah turned her head. A young woman was running into the arms of someone waiting for her with flowers at the gate. Husband? Boyfriend? She wondered how long they’d been separated. What a gift to have someone waiting to meet you at the end of a journey. What a gift. After a lingering embrace, the two of them walked away together, hand in hand.
“I think we all have quite an adventure ahead of us,” Meg was saying.
“Amen, sister,” said Mara. “The journey goes on.”
Charissa and Mara walked out toward the short-term lot together, stopping at the exit kiosk at the end of the terminal to pay for parking. “Have you got class this afternoon?” Mara asked, inserting her ticket into the machine.
Charissa shook her head. “No. I’ve actually got some free time before I pick John up from work. It’s weird. I’m not used to having free time.”
Mara smiled at her as she swiped her credit card. “Well . . . enjoy it.” She paused. “I hope everything works out really well for you, Charissa—with the baby and the Ph.D. and your parents.”
“Thanks.” Charissa reached into her purse and removed her ticket. “I don’t do well with the one step at a time thing, you know? I’ve spent my whole life planning things out. I just don’t handle uncertainty very well.” Charissa stared at her hands while she spoke. “I’m also not great with spontaneity,” she said tentatively, “but . . . well . . . Would you like to go out for lunch or something?”
“Right now?” Mara asked, looking surprised.
Charissa nodded. “If you’re free, that is . . . ”
Mara beamed. “You bet, girlfriend!” she exclaimed. “I’m free.”
Meg sat with her head resting against the cabin window, watching the rain pelt the glass. As she waited for takeoff, she opened the envelope Hannah had given her when they hugged good-bye at the security gate.
Dear Meg,
I was reading Psalm 91 this morning and couldn’t shake the sense that it’s for you today. I think you’ll know why when you read it. Here are the first few verses: “You who live in the shelter
of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.’ For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence; he will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.”
I’ve watched you grow in quiet trust and confidence in God, Meg. You have made the Lord your refuge and your fortress, and I’m watching you dwell in peace. You’ve been so brave to confront so many difficult things from your past, and your courage inspired me, too. Thank you. God truly has delivered you from the fowler’s snare, and you’re free to fly. What a wonderful adventure you have ahead of you!
I’m proud of you, and I thank God for bringing you into my life. God bless you, Meg!
Love,
Hannah
Meg smiled to herself and gripped the armrest as the plane gathered speed along the runway. Moments later she was airborne, watching the slate-colored skies give way to a glorious sunlit world above the clouds.
Meg Fowler Crane had found her wings.
“I hear so much freedom in you,” Katherine said as she and Hannah stood together at the threshold of her office. Hannah had stopped by New Hope after she left the airport so that she could sign up for the pilgrimage.
“I certainly couldn’t have predicted all this when I came here in September. It’s been an incredible adventure so far.”
Katherine smiled. “You’re saying yes to love, Hannah. Yes to all God’s invitations to travel deep into his heart. There’s no greater adventure. And you’ve found such lovely traveling companions to walk with you.”
Hannah nodded. “I know. Now that I’ve finally given up trying to honor God by suffering as much as possible, maybe I can learn how to relax into something new and different. Nate is determined to teach me how to play.”
“He’s a good teacher.”
“Like you, Katherine. Thank you.”
Katherine reached out her hand and touched Hannah’s cheek. “I’m so proud of you. God bless you, dear one.”
As Hannah made her way down the hallway, she glanced at her watch. She still had time for one more brief stop before she met Nate at the college.
Apart from the chickadees and cardinals flitting among silvered branches and red-berried shrubs, the courtyard was still, hushed and cloaked under the softness of a gray flannel sky. Hannah approached the center of the labyrinth slowly and knelt to trace her hand along the petaled outline on the pavement. Thank you, she prayed. Thank you. For everything.
Remember, said a still small voice. Always remember. The flowers are for you.
“The lover’s gift to the beloved,” she whispered.
And deep in her spirit, she heard the tender invitation: “My beloved, walk with me.”
Acknowledgments
My words are inadequate to express my love and appreciation for all those who have walked with me in the writing of this book.
To my husband and dearest friend, Jack—the very best of John, Jim, and Nathan all wrapped up in one man. God blessed me with you. I love you! I couldn’t have done this without you.
To our son, David, who is full of patience, love, and grace. I love you, and I’m so proud of you.
To the real Sensible Shoes Club (Jill, Shalini, Cherie, Cynthia, Jan, Jennifer, Nahed, Eleanor, Connie, Sue, Diane, and Nancy). Your stories of life change and transformation are far more stunning than anything I have described in these pages. Thank you for sharing the journey with me.
To the wonderful faith community of Redeemer Covenant Church. What a joy and privilege to share life in Christ with you.
To Sister Diane Zerfas, my trustworthy spiritual director, who has encouraged my imagination and helped me to pay attention. Thank you.
To my early readers who cheered me on: Ruth, Krisha, Yu Chen, Vaneetha, Katie, Mary, Catherine, and my dear Aunt Sally. You gave me courage. Thank you.
To Todd and Holly, whose early input and suggestions made this a better book. Thank you for your gentleness and your persistence.
To Celeste, who brought me flowers at exactly the right moment. Thank you.
To Betsy, who invited me to the cottage where the story began. Thank you.
To Martie Sharp Bradley, who edited my manuscript with deep affection for my characters. Thank you for climbing into my spirit and imagination to draw out the best in these women.
To Colleen and Kathleen, who never stopped talking about Jesus. I am eternally grateful.
To Steve, who spoke timely words of wisdom and helped me to let this book go with open hands. Thank you.
To Dr. Robert Jacks (R.J.), who taught me to write for the ear; to Mr. Don Shultz, who taught me to write what I know; and to Mr. Art Farr, who told me to write. Thank you.
To Cindy Bunch and the wonderful team at InterVarsity Press. Thank you for glimpsing the vision and saying yes.
To the Dominican Center, where I have explored many of the disciplines described in the book, including the labyrinth and its three-fold movement of releasing, receiving, and returning.
To mentors and teachers I have never met, whose wisdom breathes in these pages: Hannah Hurnard, Richard Foster, Henri Nouwen, Robert McGee, Eugene Peterson, Gerald Sittser, C. S. Lewis, Philip Yancey, John Ortberg, Adele Calhoun, Teresa of Avila, Brother Lawrence, Julian of Norwich, Ignatius of Loyola, the desert fathers and mothers, and too many others to name.
To my sister, Beth, my faithful friend and companion in the journey. I love you.
To Mom and Dad, with gratitude and love beyond words. Mom, thanks for being such a careful editor and proofreader. You saw things I didn’t see.
And finally, to the Holy Spirit, my faithful Ghost-writer, who patiently and gently answered and overcame all my objections and fears about why I couldn’t write this book.
This is my offering of love to You.
I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:16-21)
Discussion Guide
For further book club resources and more information about Sensible Shoes, please visit the author’s website: www.sensibleshoesclub.com.
If you could sit and have a conversation with one of the characters, who would you choose? Why? What would you want to talk about?
Which character did you most identify with? Least identify? Did your opinion change as the story unfolded?
Think about some of the childhood experiences for each character. How did some of these events shape each woman’s sense of identity?
Identify some of the turning points for the main characters (Hannah, Meg, Mara, and Charissa). Why were these moments significant?
Name some of the images or metaphors that were significant in each character’s process of self-discovery and transformation. Which of these images connect with your life or your longings?
What are some of the important growth points or unresolved issues for each character? What next steps do you hope each one takes?
Mara says, “I hate the word ‘discipline.’ I already feel guilty.” What is your reaction to the concept of spiritual disciplines?
How do you define “spiritual formation”?
What do you find either appealing or frightening about taking a sacred journey with other people?
Dr. Allen says, “The things that annoy, irritate, and disappoint us have just as much power to reveal the truth about ourselves as anything else. L
earn to linger with what provokes you. You may just find the Spirit of God moving there.” What provoked you as you read the book?
Meg says, “It’s easy to lose sight of how far I’ve come if I’m only looking at how far I have to go.” When do you feel overwhelmed or discouraged by the distance you still have to travel? What helps you keep a God-ward perspective on your journey?
How would you respond to an invitation from New Hope?
What is God stirring in you as a result of reading this book?
Some voices challenge us. Others support or encourage us. Voices can move us to change our minds, draw close to God, discover a new spiritual gift. The voices of others are shaping who we are.
The voices behind IVP Crescendo join together to draw us into God’s story. We’ll discover God’s work around the globe even as we learn to love the people around the corner. We’ll have opportunity to heal our places of pain. We’ll discover new ways to love our families. We’ll hear God’s voice speaking into our lives as we discover new places of influence.
IVP Crescendo invites you to join in the rising chorus
to listen to the voices of others
to hear the voice of God
and to grow your own voice in
COURAGE. CONFIDENCE. CALLING.
Stay in touch with IVP Crescendo:
www.ivpress.com/ crescendo-social
About the Author
Sharon Garlough Brown holds an M.Div. from Princeton Theological Seminary and is a pastor and spiritual director with the Evangelical Covenant Church. She lives in West Michigan with her husband, Jack, and son, David.
If you enjoyed Sensible Shoes, you might also like:
A Story about the Spiritual Journey Page 38