Strange, she thought, and wondered why. But with her eyes glued to the report as she started down the hall, she soon had other things on her mind: pluses, minuses, and prophetic returns.
"This can't be." She sat down in her office and picked up the phone to call Jan. "There's no way." She wanted to know first of all how long Dan Morris had been with the company. Only she didn't have Jan's extension and went to dial her father's, figuring to reach her that way. She hit the broadcast button by mistake, which activated the paging system with a screech and a howl. It startled her so much she blurted out, "Son of a bitch!" before releasing it.
Jan came running with her eyes wide and her mouth open. Before Lydia could utter a word of explanation, the phone rang, and Jan was throwing herself across the desk to grab it. "Miss Merchant's office!"
Whoever was on the other end obviously had distressing news, because Jan raised her hand to her forehead and took a deep breath, as if in agony. "Okay, I'll tell her." She hung up and cleared her throat.
"That…was Bill Shoop," she reported dramatically. "He said to tell you that the paging system works loud and clear."
Lydia stared, then burst out laughing, and Jan's dead-pan expression only added fuel. "Oh Christ, Jan! Come on! I didn't do it on purpose. I hit the wrong button."
Not even a smile cracked Jan's face. "Will there be anything else, Miss Merchant?"
"Yes," Lydia said, still laughing. "There is." She dabbed at her eyes and forced some composure. "First of all, you have got to stop asking me that. It's totally unnecessary. What I need is your extension."
"It's five," Jan said with a stiff lip, looking scolded, and just then Dan Morris bolted through the doorway, gasping for breath.
"Was it something with the report?" he asked. Lydia bowed her head, biting her lip to keep from laughing all over again. When she looked back up, Jan was gone and Dan was stammering. "Was it the t-t-totals?"
"Well, now that you've mentioned it."
"I knew you'd have questions. That's why I...uh, wanted to be with you to go over them. And then the intercom and all."
Lydia motioned for him to have a seat and when he reached for the report, pulled it back. "You can have it when we're done, though frankly, this urgency of yours is puzzling. As far as I'm concerned, this report is worthless."
Dan gulped. "What do you mean, worthless?"
Lydia reached for a cigarette, studying him as she lit it. "Not only do I need to see the last page, since this hardly has any meaning without it, I want to know how you came up with these figures."
"Those figures came from the computer."
Lydia nodded, thinking, what a brilliant answer. "And the figures from the computer, where did...?"
Dan interrupted her. "I'm sure this is all new to you, sweetie. So I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll get one of my girls to work you up a more detailed account."
"Your girls?" Lydia said, annoyed by his demeanor. "Like a harem or something?" While Dan cleared his throat and wiped his brow, she noticed what looked like a ketchup stain on his tie.
"No offense intended," he said. "I meant one of the women in my department. I can get them to prepare you a more..."
Lydia held up her hand. "If it's going to be anything like this one, forget it, don't waste the time. I want to see the back ledgers. I want to see the current balances. And I want to see a report that has a last page; one that shows me clearly where we're at today."
Dan reached for the report in a huff. "This one does have a last page, but if it's one that's easier to understand that you want..."
Lydia leaned forward, studying the change in his eyes now that he had the report in his hands. She took it right back. "I'm not having trouble with the understanding part, Dan, so perhaps I haven't made myself clear."
"That's not what I mean, sweetie," Dan said, squirming. "It's just that every accounting system is different, and I thought that maybe..."
Lydia opened the folder, which silenced him quicker than a direct command could have, and after a moment of leafing through it as he held his breath, she sat back. "What I'm having trouble with is the bottom line. Now, granted, it doesn't seem to be anywhere in this report, so I've had to do a little figuring in my head. But the question that keeps popping up is…who's been paying the bills around here?"
Dan sprang to his feet. "Let me check it out and go over it completely myself. Let me make sure everything's correct. Let me make sure it's right."
"Okay, fine," Lydia said. "In the meantime though, I think I'll have Jan run me off a copy of these. You don’t mind, do you?”
He shook his head, following her. No sooner had she gotten her copy and returned to her office, he all but demanded Jan help him get it back. "You have to!" he hissed. "I think there's a mistake in it!"
Jan clutched her chest. "But what you're asking me to do is dishonest."
"Dishonest or not, I need it back!" He glared. "You wouldn't want one of your friends to lose their job over this, now would you?"
"But... but..."
"All right! Then don't! But if someone gets fired, it's going to be on your shoulders. You just think about that."
* * *
Lydia went over the report again, flagging areas she questioned, drawing lines through those she felt were unimportant, which oddly were the ones with the most detail. Then she laid it aside and went to the ladies room.
After combing her hair and putting on lipstick, she fished around the bottom of her purse for some change and came up with a dime. Unfortunately, the machine for sanitary items took a quarter now.
"Hmph!" she said to herself. "We're in the wrong business."
She searched some more and found a quarter, deposited it, and pulled down on the handle for nothing. The machine was empty. Not only that, she lost her quarter as well.
"Oh great! Now what!" She slammed the door behind her and headed for the only person she could think of, Jan, and said in a fit, "The ladies room's empty! Who's responsible for keeping it stocked?"
Jan stared at her blankly.
"The Tampax, for Christ sake!"
Jan turned red. "Oh dear...I'm sorry. But the way you asked was confusing."
"Please," Lydia said. "Just tell me who to call to have it stocked. I plan on touring the shop and don't really want my path traced, if you know what I mean."
Jan blushed again. "That would be Mr. Carlson."
Lydia threw her hands up. "Oh balls! How fitting!"
Jan cringed. "Do you want me to find him?"
Lydia shook her head. "No, I want you to page him. Page him and get him up here."
Jan looked stricken. "Page him?"
Lydia rolled her eyes. This was ridiculous. The whole day was ridiculous. "Yes, page him. And now if that's a problem, here, I'll do it. I've had practice?
Jan covered the phone with her body. "No, that's okay. Just give me a moment to figure it out."
Lydia felt like screaming, worse yet with Jan looking so serious and saying, "Hmmm, let me see."
"Christ, Jan! Just hit the broadcast button and tell him to call you!"
"But I don't think he knows my last name."
That too was said so seriously, Lydia could've screamed, but suggested instead, "Why don't you just give him your extension number."
"Good idea," Jan said. "I'll give it a try." She took a deep breath and raised the receiver to her mouth. "Mr. Carlson, dial five. Mr. Carlson, dial five." Hanging up, she put her hands together. "I did it! How did it sound?"
Lydia barely got out, "Just lovely," before the phone rang.
"Yes, Mr. Carlson," Jan said. "I did page you. Yes, it is back in action. Yes, she did want it used again. Yes..."
Lydia motioned for her to get on with it.
"Mr. Carlson, the ladies room on this floor is out of stock." She paused, obviously to blush and get flustered. "Um...it's the machines."
When her face got even redder, Lydia decided enough was enough. He had to be razzing her. She took the phone. "Carlson,
this is Lydia Merchant. Is there a problem with stocking the machines?" She gave him time to reply. "Well that's good, because I want you to take care of it now, and from here on in, make sure it doesn't run out again. All right?"
He said he would take care of it pronto, but it would take a few minutes. So Lydia went back to her office, thinking she might as well go over the accounting report again, but it was gone. She looked around the room, positive she'd left it on the desk, and checked the drawers just in case. When it wasn't anywhere to be found, she lit a cigarette and dialed Jan.
Jan dropped the phone when told of the problem and came storming through the door like a member of a SWAT team. "Okay! Don't panic! Where did you have it last?"
Taken aback a little by this sudden burst of life, Lydia answered rather hesitantly. "Uh...I had it right here."
"Are you sure you didn't move it?"
"Yeah, I'm sure. Did you move it?"
"No!" Jan screeched in an incredibly high voice. "I've been typing letters for Mr. Reed."
Lydia looked at her as if she were crazy. "Well, Jesus Christ, let's not have a heart attack over it."
Jan darted her eyes around the room. "But it's my job to keep watch over the offices! Where could it be?"
"Who knows? Maybe Dan Morris came back for it. He wanted it bad enough."
"What?" Jan gasped, looking woozy. "Do you think he did?"
Lydia couldn't believe this. "Are you going to faint? Shit! First Shoop and now you!"
That made it worse. Jan started to sway with her arms spread like a tightrope walker's. Lydia jumped up to guide her to a chair. "Here," she said. "Sit down. Put your head between your legs or something."
"I'll be all...right," Jan said agonizingly, as she fanned herself. "I just need a minute."
Reed tapped on the door then and with one look, asked, "What happened?"
Lydia shrugged, holding her hands out. "Damned if I know. One minute she was hysterical and the next, she's collapsing." She leaned forward. "Jan, do you want some water?"
"No, I'll be fine," Jan said, using the chair's arm for balance as she struggled to her feet. "I'll be fine." Then, out of habit, she started to ask, "Will there be anything else?" but caught herself and looked absolutely pathetic as she walked out past Reed, mumbling. "I'll find that report. I will. I'll find it if it's the last thing I do."
Lydia waited until she was out of earshot. "Is there something I should know about her?"
"No, not that I'm aware of," Reed said, shaking his head. "But I just ran into the janitor down the hall. He wanted me to tell you that the ladies room is stocked now."
Lydia lowered her eyes to the floor, with a heavy sigh. This was like a bad dream, all of it. When she looked up, Reed was gone, so she left to go take care of things, then stopped by to tell Jan she'd be down in the shop.
A lunch buzzer went off as she started up the main aisle, signaling a stampede. She stepped back out of the way and when the dust settled, she went on to secondary. Since everyone was in the cafeteria, she took her time examining the parts, working her way down to the final product, wrapped in plastic and ready for packing. Then it was on to shipping.
Several young men were eating their lunch on the loading dock, and though she greeted them cheerfully, all she got in return was a nod and a couple of glances. She shrugged and walked on to production. Had she looked back, though, she would have seen all three of them staring at her.
The sun filtering through the windows glistened on the machines, which all appeared to have been in use. Chip tubs were next to them, full and waiting to be emptied and stacks of parts had to be traversed as she walked along. Calendars of nude women dotted the walls, blondes and brunettes with some relation to the metric charts and racks of tool bits. Underneath were tool boxes locked up tight.
About halfway down the second aisle, Lydia noticed a small man sitting between two Bridgeports. He was reading, which seemed odd, but odder yet was his work area. It was spotless: no oil, no chips, no pinups. And his tool box was open and meticulous.
"Good book?" she asked, smiling.
The man looked up with eyes as serene as an Amish bishop's. "It's the Bible," he said.
"Oh..."
The man smiled, accenting his sparse mustache. "It's the only thing worth reading nowadays."
Lydia nodded, not about to disagree for fear of getting a sermon, and walked on to quality control. She knew better than to touch any of the gauges or parts being inspected there, and simply looked around. Then, glancing at her watch, she decided to go see if anything had been done to the conference room and walked in on Bill just as he was finishing up.
"Damn! Talk about fast!"
"Five more minutes," he said, smiling, and he would be done wiring the phone.
Lydia nodded, motioning that she'd stay out of his way, and walked over to the window that spanned the wall, giving full view of the main shop. When the lunch buzzer went off again, she watched the workers who stampeded earlier drag their feet back to their work area.
Bill dialed a number to check the phone and then wiped the receiver off. "There, you're all set."
Lydia turned. "Well, it looks just great. I really appreciate you getting it done so quickly."
Bill looked around. "All this furniture was stored over behind secondary. I guess it must have been in here before."
"It was," Lydia said, remembering when it was delivered. She and Sharon were here that day and as soon as it was set up, they played board meeting, entertaining her mother and father with their theatrics. They threw out rules, making up some of their own and prided themselves, at the age of twelve, on knowing what was really important in life. A more slippery floor in the cafeteria to slide on was at the top of their list. It seemed so long ago.
"Bill, can I talk to you a minute?"
He nodded reluctantly.
"What's with the attitude around here? I don't ever remember it being like this. The people were always so friendly. And now..."
The paging system clicked on just then and Jan's voice came through. "Miss Merchant, dial five. Miss Merchant, dial five." Bill seized the opportunity to avoid giving her an answer. He pointed to the phone and when Lydia walked over and picked it up, he left.
Jan was bursting with good news. "I have the accounting report, Miss Merchant! The cleaning woman found it under your desk."
Lydia made a face. "The cleaning woman? What would a cleaning woman be doing in my office? It looked spotless."
"Uh...I don't know. But she was, and she found it. She said it looked important. Do you want me to bring it to you?"
Lydia stared off, thinking. "No, hold on to it. I'll be right up."
Jan took that literally, and as Lydia started down the hall after stopping in the ladies room, she almost laughed. Jan had the report in both hands.
Lydia took it from her. "Under the desk, huh?"
Jan nodded. "Under the desk."
Lydia opened it to the first page, asking casually, "What time do you take lunch?"
"I um, don't. I eat right here. Mr. Reed doesn't like the offices unattended."
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Um. I don't really know."
Lydia just looked at her for a few seconds, studying her, and sighed. "Well, I think I'll go out for a burger. You want me to bring you back something?"
Jan shook her head, seeming shocked at having been asked. Only Lydia never left the building. Halfway down the hall, she stopped cold and doubled back to accounting instead.
The report made even less sense than before, not to mention how a few of the notations she'd made earlier had mysteriously disappeared. But Dan Morris wasn't in, nor were the clerks, and the room was locked. She went back to the conference room, spread the report out on the table, moving along with each page as the poured over it again, and then phoned Jan.
"I need to talk to Reed," she said. "What's his extension?"
"It's six, Miss Merchant. But he stepped out for a few minutes. Do you want me to
let you know when he returns?"
Lydia thought for sure he'd told her he was going to be here all day. "No, just have him come down to the conference room. I'm going to be at this for a while."
About a half-hour later, he tapped on the door politely, and she waved him in, smiling. It looked like he'd gone out for a haircut, not that he'd needed one, and as he walked over and sat down, she took back her opinion about his eyebrows being too thick. He was perfect.
"So where do we begin?"
What a smile, Lydia thought. "Well, why don't we start with you." She lit a cigarette and let it dangle from her mouth as she gathered the forms and put them back in the folder. "I'm still in a fog as to how you came to join us, so why don't you tell me all about your previous position."
Reed looked a little puzzled. "Certainly we can touch on that at a more pertinent time. What I'd like to do now is map out our current picture."
"But it fascinates me, the way you and Dad fell together to weep over a lost contract."
Reed chuckled, even though his eyes revealed an urge to respond otherwise. "That, in spite of how it sounds, is about right."
Lydia moved her ashtray closer and away from him. "Then tell me, if we were to bid on that infamous contract today, would we have a better chance of getting it?"
Reed hesitated with his reply. He hadn't given it a thought. "I don't know, but I would hope so."
Lydia studied his eyes. "Is that Dale Carnegie talking or you?"
Reed smiled. "A little of both. Though I have to admit, I think we'd have a hard time getting it back. Your father's bid was considerably higher than Forrester's, and even in spite of his recent..." He stopped himself.
"Just say it," Lydia said. "Reading minds isn't exactly a perfect science, you know."
Reed laughed nervously, then stammered. "Your father's been uh... a little distracted, and I uh..."
"You thought maybe he'd screwed up the bid?"
Reed nodded. "But then I took a look at it after I was here awhile."
"And?"
"It seems to be right on for this house, quoted correctly and increased nominally."
Call Me Lydia Page 4