Julius interrupted her there, as if he feared she' d ramble on forever otherwise. "Fine, then, if that's the only way."
"Sorry," Lydia said. "But it is. I don't want him ruining my day, if you know what I mean."
Lydia hung up and headed for accounting, making a point of stopping by to let Jan know where she'd be and waved over her shoulder to Sylvia as she sat down at the computer. She started calling up data from two years ago, back when her mother's illness was first diagnosed.
The printer took forever, so to kill time, she went over to see what Sylvia was doing. "I'm working on the salary payroll for next week," she replied nervously when asked.
Lydia scanned the names. "Not that many, are there?"
Sylvia shook her head, fearing she was about to be laid off herself, and picking up on that, Lydia tried to reassure her. "Well, maybe with a little luck, we'll get this place turned around so everyone can rest a little easier."
Sylvia nodded, though still looking anxious, and Lydia decided to go for a walk. "I'll be right back."
Carlson the janitor was talking to Jan at her desk and hightailed it in the opposite direction when he saw her coming. Lydia had to laugh. His hasty retreat even struck Jan as funny. He'd been trying to tell her a dirty joke, one she'd repeatedly said she didn't want to hear, and he'd left without delivering the punch line.
1 "Your timing couldn't have been better. Thank you."
Lydia smiled and sat down on the edge of the desk, thinking how nice it would be if everything were that easy, if everything unpleasant would just go away, even if only for a little while. And why not?
"Why don't you join me and Sharon for dinner at the beach house tonight? We're gonna grill some steaks."
"Oh…I don't know," Jan said. "Do you think that would be right?"
"Sure! Why not? Come on, it'll be fun. Sharon's a bit crazy, but you'll like her, really."
Jan smiled. "She did seem nice when I met her the other day."
"So is that a yes?"
Jan hesitated still. "But…but you're my boss."
Lydia laughed. "Oh for Christ's sake! I thought we settled all that."
Jan blushed, then grinned. "You're right. We did. What time? And what can I bring?"
"Nothing... no, I take that back. Bring your suit. I heard on the radio when I was out that it's only going down to eighty tonight, so we'll probably go swimming."
Jan smiled expectantly. "You'll have to give me directions to your house."
"I’l1 do better than that," Lydia said, glancing at her watch. "Why don't you go home now and get your suit, and that way when it's time to leave, you can just follow me."
Jan reached for her purse. "You'll watch the phones?" Lydia nodded, and no sooner had Jan left, the phone rang.
It was Bob Miller. "Bob! It's so nice to hear from you."
"I'm calling to see if you'd like to go to dinner tonight." "Tonight? No, gee, I'm sorry," Lydia said, sounding really disappointed. "I can't."
"But I need to talk to you right away. Didn't you get my messages? I have some very disturbing news about your situation over there."
Lydia sighed melodramatically. "No, I didn't. I don't get half of them. What's the news?"
"I'd rather not say over the phone. What about tomorrow night?"
"Tomorrow...? Okay. I can make it tomorrow. Only I have guests at the beach house, so I think it' d be better if I meet you somewhere."
Bob sounded disappointed. "All right, then meet me at the Riverfront Tavern, say about eight or eight-thirty."
"Can we make it earlier? Maybe around seven?"
"No, I like a late dinner. I'll see you at eight."
His tone of voice gave Lydia goosebumps, but she refused to dwell on it. She refused to even think about it and went back to accounting, scanning what had been printed out before calling up data going back even further. She found herself waiting again, and her mind wandered. She was clear across town, on "Screwing Rock" with Tony, as gentle waves washed over them. Over and over. One after another. And the rock wasn't uncomfortable at all.
When the printer stopped, she gathered up the sheets, asked Sylvia to watch the phones until Jan returned, and went down to the conference room to go through them.
She was positive that if there was a discrepancy it would be something hidden, so she stretched her imagination with each entry and was just starting back through them again when Tony came in.
She looked up and smiled. Her smile faded as she watched him sit down and stretch his legs out, using his hand to help position the right one to make it more comfortable. A lump formed in her throat. "Tony, I know I've asked you before. But your legs...."
"It's nothing," Tony said, running his fingers through his hair. "What are you working on?"
Lydia studied his eyes, then turned and stared down at the printouts. "I had this strong feeling I should go over these. Not that I know why, since they go back to when things were going well. But I went over the current ones already and didn't find anything, so I thought if I went back further...."
Tony picked up the top sheet and glanced down over the various entries. "What are you looking for?"
Lydia sighed. "I don't know. Anything I guess, anything out of the ordinary. But so far...nothing."
Tony handed it back. "Well then, I guess you'll just have to keep looking now, won't you?"
Lydia smiled and leaned close to kiss him, then ran her hand across his thigh. "Tony, please tell me about your legs."
He shook his head. "Lydia, come on, let it go, okay?"
"I can't," she said, searching his eyes. "I know you want me to, but I can't. And every time I see you…."
"I told you, it's arthritis."
"But there's more to it than that. I can see it in your eyes."
Tony moved to get up when she said this. She grabbed his arm and he looked at her. "Tony, please...."
He swallowed hard. "I had them broken for me. All right? Is that good enough?"
"No. I want to know when."
Tony shook his head and sat back, staring off for a moment. "It was right after my transfer to state prison." He hesitated, remembering it as if it were yesterday. "Everything I'd heard about the place turned out to be true. Only I didn't want any part of it, so...."
Lydia's voice cracked, "So they broke your legs?"
Tony smiled sarcastically. "Yeah, seven different places. They loved my knees. Paying particular attention to this one," he said, pointing to his right leg.
Tears welled up in Lydia' s eyes, and she went to touch the side of his face, but he pulled back.
"Hey, it's okay," he said. "They got my legs...not me. I can stand this. I can live with it. But there's no way I could've handled that. No way in hell."
Chapter Twenty-One
Lydia rested her head against Tony's arm, and for a moment, they just sat there, the two of them. "Come on," Tony said softly. "You're making me sorry I told you."
Lydia wiped her eyes. "No. I wanted to know. It's just that…."
Tony kissed her to silence her, and she wiped her tears again, looking at him.
"I love you, Tony."
Tony swallowed hard, searching her eyes. "If I knew telling you about my legs was going to get that response, I think I might have told you sooner."
Lydia shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I have a feeling you never would have told me."
Tony smiled sadly. She was right. "You're the first person I've ever...." He'd never told anyone. "Being in love is a first too. I've never...." He hesitated, just gazing at her. So beautiful, and so fragile. "I love you, Lydia," he said. "And I want you. I want you so damned bad I can't stand it."
Lydia leaned close and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he urged her onto his lap. When they kissed again, melting into one another, things started to get out of control, and she pulled away breathlessly. "This is scary, Tony. I have to tell you, I'm really afraid."
Tony looked puzzled. "Of me?"
"No, of us." Lydia shook her head. "Don't you see? This could all just be a physical thing."
Tony traced the side of her face with the back of his hand and smiled. "It's not, Lydia. Not for me at least."
"But how can you be so sure? I can't. I've never felt like this before."
Tony looked at her for a moment, thinking about that, then nudged her up off his lap and walked over to lock the door.
Lydia's pulse quickened, watching him. When he turned back around, in his eyes was the look of a man about to have his way.
"If it's just physical, Lydia," he said. "Then let's do it now. Because I've got to have you, and that's all there is to it."
Lydia swallowed, paralyzed, feeling flushed and out of breath.
Tony leaned back against the door. "Come here...."
Lydia moistened her dry lips, shaking her head no. And while he could have gone to her, he didn't. He just waited.
She wanted to go to him, Jesus, she did - the tone of his voice, the way he was looking at her. "I said come here…."
But this wasn't right. Locked door or not, she could hear the shop below and remembered earlier how Jan had walked in on them. And damn it, she didn't want to have to think about these things. She didn't want him this way.
"Tony, not like this, please. This is...."
"What?" Tony asked, walking toward her now. "This is what? Just physical? You mean you want more?"
Lydia' s mouth dropped with the sudden realization. "You bastard. You were doing that on purpose, weren't you?"
Tony smiled and pulled her close, in spite of her attempt to get free. "Yeah. And you want to know why? Because I don't have any doubts when it comes to us."
Lydia looked up into his eyes. "And what if I’d gone along with it?"
Tony sort of shrugged, his smile widening, and Lydia laughed. "I do love you, Tony. I just know it."
"Good," he said, kissing her. "Now let me get back to work. I want to get done sometime today."
Lydia let him go, smiling, and he walked over and unlocked the door. "What time are you planning on going home?"
Lydia thought for a moment and then stammered, "Uh…."
Tony shifted his weight. "Uh, what?"
"Sharon's coming to dinner. And I invited Jan too."
Tonight? He couldn't believe this. "Tonight?!" When Lydia nodded and cringed apprehensively, he smacked the wall in frustration. "Damn it, Lydia!"
She hesitated, then cautiously stepped toward him. "You see, Sharon's having problems. And I didn't want Jan to be alone either, not after, well you know, she seemed so upset..."
Tony looked off, shaking his head, and with a sigh, opened the door. "What time will all this break up?"
Lydia lowered her eyes and replied somewhat sheepishly, "Well, with Sharon it usually doesn't. She generally stays the night."
Tony turned her face up and mimicked her tone of voice. "Yeah? Well…how about we change that?"
Lydia nodded and, when he started down the hall, leaned out the door and called after him. "Why don't you join us for dinner? That way maybe I won't have to say anything."
Tony glanced back. "Want me to drop hints?"
"No, I don't think that'll be necessary," Lydia said, laughing. Then it was back to work.
Reed came down a little while later and marveled at what she was doing. She had stacks of printouts all over the table, and from the way the chairs were positioned, it looked like she'd been moving along from seat to seat to go through them. His assumption was correct.
"Are we having fun?" he teased.
Lydia chuckled. "No, but I am getting a better feel of the way things were going around here. What about you?"
Reed yawned, batting at his mouth. "Me? I'm beat. I've been making cold calls all day."
Lydia sighed sympathetically. "I can't imagine doing that."
Reed smiled. He didn't like it much either. "I did get some good leads on narrowing down who Bob runs that job for though."
Lydia studied his eyes. This was a quest for him, a do-or-die thing. She smiled. "Maybe I can pump him for you at dinner tomorrow night."
"Dinner?"
Lydia nodded. "He says he has some distressing news for me about our situation over here. He slays me. What can he possibly have to tell me?"
"Nothing," Reed said. "I think he just wants to get you alone. You'd better pack some Mace to be safe."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "I shudder at the thought."
Reed laughed and then stood up to leave. "Well, I'd better get going. I'm meeting the purchasing agent from that new company down the street for dinner."
"Good luck," Lydia said, and he hesitated at the door.
"What about you? You and Tony have plans again tonight?"
Lydia nodded, smiling, and he sighed, shaking his head. "That Italian son of a bitch! And right before my very eyes."
Lydia laughed, and when he'd gone, she picked up where she'd left off. An hour or so later, she called Jan, telling her to meet her in the parking lot in five minutes. Then she went looking for Tony.
Upon asking, she was told he was down by the drill presses. She found him quickly, but stopped short. He was leaning over a young woman's shoulder, pointing out something on a part she was working on. They were both laughing.
Fire flickered in her eyes, and she backed up, about to turn on her heels and leave, when Tony caught a glimpse of her. He motioned, saying he'd be right there. So she stood right there, seething inside, the center of everyone's attention.
Tony watched the young woman run another part, making sure she understood what he'd been trying to show her, then walked over. By this time, Lydia was fuming. "I just wanted to tell you I was leaving," she said coldly, glancing past him to the young woman.
Tony responded by crossing his arms and shifting his weight, looking at her with a kind of cocky smile on his face. This only added to her rage, but she managed to contain it somehow. They walked to the back entrance together. When Tony reached for her, she yanked her arm away, glaring at him.
"What time will you be coining over?"
"I don't know," he said, with that same cocky smile, absolutely loving this jealous expression of hers. "I may have changed my mind. I'm thinking I should stick around here."
"Fine!" Lydia said, storming out past him. "That's just fine with me. I’ll see you tomorrow."
Tony gave her about five seconds, before he followed her, laughing.
"Lydia…come on."
Lydia looked back from her car, and damned, if he wasn't irresistible. "How about nine-thirty?" he said. "That too late?"
Lydia smiled. "No, that's fine. Bring your suit, we'll probably be swimming."
Tony mouthed the words, "Bring my suit," acting like he was unbuttoning his shirt, and Lydia laughed.
"And what if I don't?" he said.
Lydia laughed again. "Then I won't be responsible for Sharon."
* * *
Stopping at the grocery store on the way home, Lydia picked up some chips, olives, baking potatoes, sour cream, crackers, and two hunks of cheese, one sharp and one mild. And for Jan, who giggled and turned the exact shade of pink, a bottle of blush wine.
"Perfect!" Lydia said. "It's you!"
From there it was on to the meat counter. "I' 11 have five of those sirloins," Lydia told the butcher. "No, make it six."
"Six?" Jan asked.
Lydia nodded. "Tony's coming over later. We won't wait dinner for him, but I'm sure he'll be hungry when he gets there."
Jan blushed again. "I almost died when I walked in on you two today."
Lydia rolled her eyes, laughing. "You? I thanked Betty's sweet Jesus a thousand times. I mean, just think if you hadn't?"
Jan giggled.
"Will there be anything else?" the butcher asked, handing Lydia the wrapped steaks. Lydia nodded and pointed to the end rack.
"Yes, some shrimp. The jumbo ones," she said and turned back to Jan. "You know, I don't know what it is about Tony. But honest to God,
Jan, I can't even think straight when I'm around him."
Jan sighed wistfully. "I have no idea what it would be like to feel that way about someone."
"Weren't you married?"
"Yes, for a short time. But I didn't feel for him like...."
The butcher leaned close, listening, and Lydia glanced at him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Make it a pound."
He nodded, and Lydia waited for him to walk away. "Don't feel bad. Before I met Tony, I'd never felt this way either. That's why this seems so scary."
Sharon was already in the pool when they arrived, afloat on a raft with a drink in her hand. Lydia stuck her head out the patio doorway. "Hey, I don't think that's good for you."
"Oh come on, it's my first one. Besides, I've cut back drastically." She turned the raft around and saw that Lydia wasn't alone. "Hi! It's Jan, isn't it?"
Jan nodded meekly. "I hope you don't mind. Lydia invited me to dinner."
"Mind? Not me. I love it when I can pour my heart out to a crowd."
Jan smiled and followed Lydia into the kitchen. "Can I do anything to help?"
"Sure." Lydia reached up into the cupboard for a wine glass. "You can make the cocktail sauce. Everything you need's in the fridge. Ketchup, horseradish, lemon - it's all there."
While Jan started that, Lydia poured her some wine and went to fix herself a Scotch.
"Do you guys need some help?" Sharon called from the pool.
"No, stay put," Lydia said on her way to the bathroom. "Everything's under control."
And it soon was. Lydia scrubbed the potatoes, oiling them and wrapping them in foil, then seasoned the meat and made a relish tray. Jan finished the cocktail sauce, and they both sampled it. "Perfect!" Then it was time for another drink.
"Do you like to cook?" Jan asked, intrigued by how at home Lydia was in a kitchen.
Lydia nodded. "Sharon and I took a gourmet cooking class in school and got hooked. Not that we're gourmets."
Jan looked out at the pool. "She seems very nice."
Call Me Lydia Page 33